We'll Never Get Married in a...

By deanweasly

11.1K 311 124

Pelle and Marlene Ohlin are the gorgeous twins from Anita Forsberg and Felix Ohlin. They've spent their lives... More

1. Home, Sweet Home
3. The Toxic Waltz
4. I Wanna Rock
5. Welcome to the Jungle
6. Nothin' But A Good Time
7. Night of the Blasphemy
8. Seven Headed Whore
9. The Absurd Circus
10. 2 Minutes to Midnight

2. Denim and Leather

1K 42 8
By deanweasly

August 2nd, 1988

The twins had been on Norwegian soil for two days now and without each other for two days. Pelle was picked up by a bunch of guys in a black panel van while Marlene found her pen pal. The university set up a programme to connect international students with pre-existing residents, so the internationals wouldn't get oh too very lost.

Her pen pal was a boy by the name of Even Bech-Næsheim. He was very sweet in the letters they exchanged, but even sweeter in real life. Their first order of business was Even taking Marlene to a cafe for a sandwich and a hot drink (Even got tea, Marlene got black coffee). They chatted relentlessly over their studies, their lives, their families and all that. So much that their conversation didn't just stop at dinner. Marlene invited Even over to her flat to help her unpack and all that. Sweetly enough, Even did no more than help her unpack and chat a bit more on her couch with her. Then he left for the night.

Marlene didn't enjoy her first night. She knew Pelle was just a 30 odd minute drive from her, but she missed his presence in the other room. If no one cared on a particular night, the twins would even talk through the walls. But the twins were separated for the first time in over a year.

The next day, Marlene rang Even to muck about around Oslo for the day. He more than agreed; taking her to lunch a kebab place, taking her to the Fram then just walking with her downtown. They checked out record shops (finding out their music tastes almost perfectly aligned (Even enjoyed a good amount of disco, which wasn't really Marlene's bag)), bakeries, clothing shops. It was a nice day and they spent most of it outside or in shops.

But the current day, Marlene didn't feel like doing much other than stay in her flat and break it in a bit. Well, that was until the post was delivered. She got a letter from Pelle, giving her his address and the phone number of the house.

For about an hour, the silly girl debated on calling first or just going over. Eventually, she just settled on going over. She slapped her prized Jack Daniel's shirt on and a black skirt. God knew Marlene wasn't the girl to walk around, constantly wearing black, but that was just the outfit of the day. Plus, Marlene knew Pelle loved that shirt (because the sod got it for her, he loved seeing her use things he got her - made him feel useful) and the skirt was to make a good first impression on his roommates. Plus it had pockets! She didn't want to look like she was off to a job interview, but she didn't want to look too shlubby.

After the ordeal of getting dressed, Marlene rethought ringing them. Oh fuck sake. She left the flat and went to the car park of her building. She'd bought the car a while ago with money she'd saved from her various jobs back at home. Mum and Dad had just sent it over. It was a sweet little Volkswagen Golf - silver, of course.

The ride was spent listening to a Bowie tape (Diamond Dogs - the best Bowie album). Marlene stopped at the off-license around the corner of her flat and bough a bottle of Jack Daniels. She tried her bloody best to follow the massive map laid beside her, yet Marlene still got lost. Jesus, Marlene thought, I'd give anything for Even to be here.

Finally, there it was. A decently sized, red cottage type deal. Marlene pulled up and seriously wondered if she got the right house. This was supposed to house heavy metal musicians? Not a way in high fucking Hell.

But there was a way.

Just as Marlene nearly backed out, there was Pelle, coming out of the forest. He spotted her silver Golf and stopped dead in his tracks. He tilted his head to the side, expression stony. Marlene gasped and got out of the car. Pelle smiled broadly and ran over to Marlene. She closed her car door just in time to get taken down by her brother.

"You fucking crackpot! It's been two days! Get off!" Marlene yelled in protest of her twin body-slamming her into a bunch of dirty forest leaves.

"Longest two days of my life," Pelle chuckled. Marlene smiled. Pelle lifted himself a little to look down at his twin. He had a broad smile on his face but his breath smelt like something had died in his mouth. Marlene maintained her smile while she rolled her eyes and pushed him off. "Well, you're a bitch. Thought you'd be happier to see me."

"I am happy. Just not about my nice skirt getting mud on it."

"Fuck your skirt, buy a new one. Possessions are meaningless."

"Yeah, for you. You think you're dead and y'can't take shit into the afterlife."

"See, you finally get it. It only took, oh, 19 years."

"Fuck you, you stupid fucking Nihilist. I will stay over here with my Fundamentalism, quite happily."

"Because you're mental!"

"Oh, look at you! Never did I expect Per Ohlin to call me mental! The audacity! The balls!"

"More balls than you'll ever have."

"I'm gonna fuckin-"

"Oh, I didn't know we'd be having other people over," another voice said softly. Both Pelle and Marlene dissolved from their fighting stance to look over at the other man. Well, there were three other men. All three had long hair, either dyed black or dark brown. The one who spoke had dyed black hair and ice cold blue eyes. His eyes shined and he smirked. "Tell me you're related to her, Pelle."

"Yeah, my twin sister," Pelle replied, suddenly proud of his sister. He threw his arm around her and hugged her close. Marlene scoffed and hit his arm.

"The pretty twin."

"In your dreams."

"Well not in yours, you goddamn insomniac."

"Jesus, do you two ever stop fighting?" The one with brown hair and facial hair asked. Marlene immediately turned to her brother.

"Your hair looks amazing today, dear brother," she drawled.

Pelle chuckled, "Thank you, dearest. And your outfit is simply to die for, you look darling."

"Fuck, Dead can actually smile. Hell's frozen over," the third one remarked. Marlene dissolved into giggles and, when Pelle put his arm around her, she let him. He steered her over a few steps toward the rest of the band.

They looked...not very hardcore. To be fair, it was just a regular Tuesday, and they didn't know anyone was coming. But the cute one with black hair was in a blue and white knitted sweater and jeans, the one with facial hair was in blue jeans, a plain black shirt and a leather jacket, and the clean shaven brunette was in jeans and a red sweater. Even Pelle was just in double denim with a white shirt.

"Well, I'm Marlene. It's nice to meet you all," Marlene smiled, giving them all a small wave. The black haired one hadn't taken his keen eyes off her since she'd arrived. He smiled.

"Euronymous."

Marlene couldn't contain the laughter. She pushed herself into Pelle and held onto him for support. Euronymous got a challenging look on his face. "Sorry, Man. Just...what's your real name?"

"You may call me Euronymous."

"Am I supposed to me calling you Dead or something now, Pelle?" Marlene asked her brother. He smiled sweetly down at her.

"That's Oystein."

"Dude!" Euronymous protested. Pelle didn't even spare him a glance.

"And Jorn." Clean shave. "And Jan." Facial hair. Marlene bowed her head to her brother and looked back at the three other men. Oystein had a narrow glare directed at Pelle but the other two seemed far past amused.

"Alright. Alright." Marlene put her hands up and went back to her car. She could feel all of them staring at her as she walked. Marlene opened the door and grabbed the 60 of Jack Daniels from the passenger seat. "Catch." Without waiting, she underhanded the bottle to her brother whom nearly fell over, trying to save the bottle. But he saved it.

"Fucking nice! You can come over anytime, Marlene!" Jan exclaimed with a laugh. Marlene smiled and walked back over, her hands in the pockets of her skirt. God she loved skirts with pockets. God's gift to humanity.

"You wanna come in, Marlene?" Jorn offered with a smile. "We can whip something up for lunch, no problem."

"Nah, Man, it's alright. I won't eat all your food."

"Marls, I swear, there are no dead cats in there," Pelle plead. Marlene gave him a flat look. He sighed, "Okay! There's one in my room but I'll get rid of it, I swear."

"Fuck you, die slow and cold, you prick," Marlene said in a very dry tone. Jan and Jorn chuckled. Marlene looked over to see Oystein giving her that very keen look. He nodded his head to the house discreetly. Marlene rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right." Pelle began to celebrate. "Take down the cat first. Don't you dare let me see it, or I'll stab you 23 times." Pelle nodded dutifully with a smile and ran to the house. Marlene sat on the hood of her car and the other three formed a semi-circle around her. "Alright, Boys?"

"Little bit surprised that Pelle has a sister...like you," Jan confessed. Marlene giggled. "So, what do you do, Marlene?"

"I study Physics at Oslo. Couple years, I'll write my thesis, then I'll become a professor," she explained. Jan and Jorn seemed dead impressed while Oystein just smirked. "Plus, I used to jockey and do shite-like ballet. Don't do it anymore."

"Wow, now I'm really surprised that you're related to Dead," Jan laughed. Marlene smiled.

"So." She pointed her chin to Oystein. "Euronymous. And what're you two? Helheim and Heimlich?"

The three boys laughed. Marlene felt a bit of pride in making Oystein actually laugh. Get that bloody smirk off his face. Though he was pretty with and without the smirk. And, judging by the way his gaze just devoured Marlene whole, he thought she was pretty too. Probably in a different way though.

"My stage name's Hellhammer," Jan replied politely.

"And I go by Necrobutcher," Jorn added.

Marlene whistled. "Well, fuck me, pretty scary, Lads." They chuckled again. Then Pelle caught Marlene's eye. He was holding a limp cat by it's feet. "Bastard!" She hopped off the hood of the car. Pelle saw her and began running, so Marlene ran right after him.

With the wind in her silvery blonde hair, every worry evaporated. She was with her brother. And this was home. The place wasn't, but Pelle was.

***
A/N
y'all i fuckin hate author's notes too, dw there won't be a lot, but this is important. if y'all find any spelling mistakes or contingency issues or grammatical errors (that typa shit yknow?) lmk. like headass, idc, just tell me. but if you full out tell me its shit, ya catching a block <3
anyway, not a lot of people will read this and thats cool, no problem, but if anyone other than my bitches read this, well, thank you.
ciao

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