I've waited way too long, I know you've changed you don't feel the same
Do you know Dewei 😀
Dad: Hello my family
It is I
Aria: omg guess what
Mum: what??
Aria: I brought this cute sofa chair thingy right right
And they accidentally sent 2
Mum: really!!
Lucky
Dad: boring
Mum: where's my grumpy little shit
I'm not grumpy
Aria: Renjun has been moping around for days
Mum: darling do you need a hug
No
I'm fine
Dad: why don't you talk to her
I don't think she wants to talk right now
Mum: 🤦♀️
Did I raise you to be stupid
The girl is clearly hurting, think about her position right now
How hurt she is and she's keeping it all inside
She needs someone and if you can't be there for her as a significant other then be there for her at least as a friend for now
Dad: or buy chocolates
Aria: lmao Jisoo doesn't like chocolate that much
Dad: wow
I don't know what to say
Aria: get her flowers
Dad: serenade her
Mum: you two are no help
She just needs a shoulder to cry on right now
She doesn't seem like she's open about her emotions either
Aria: she really isn't
:(
Donghyuck: why am I still in this group chat
Aria: dunno
Donghyuck: I always knew I was part of this family
The favourite child
Mum: yes you are
Dad: mhmm
Donghyuck: :) thanks parents
Dad: did you take the house keys
Donghyuck: yeah I'm coming around later to do face masks with the girls
Aria: periodt
I raised my man well
Dad: I guess I'll join 🙄
Mum: you can join Renjun
No thanks
Aria: loosen up brother
It's not like she's gonna run away
Donghyuck: unless she does
Aria: that isn't helping
Gang gang
Chaerin: let's go somewhere
Jisung: where
Aria: late night shopping
Donghyuck: where's Renjun
Here
Donghyuck: Jisooooooo do you wanna come
Jisoo: no it's ok thank you though
✘
She mindlessly kicked the loose stones under her trainer clad feet, the dark sky a velvet canvas of black which hung over her- stretching on beyond her eyeline.
Closing her eyes, relishing in the cold breeze hitting against her flushed skin- she sniffled again and lethargically walked through the gates.
Knowing Renjun was out with his friends, she didn't have to worry about running into him at the moment.
Although she didn't want to come across as rude, Jisoo didn't think she was in the right emotional state to hold a conversation.
The day hadn't started out great at all for her, everything seemed to be going wrong especially the little things and all her frustration was beginning to bubble up.
A dull pain that was striking across her head became more intense and she had to stop walking to screw her eyes shut- letting out a sharp breath of air.
Blinking back her tears, tired of crying for the past few days. Jisoo sat down on the grass, knees pulled up to her chest as she leaned her cheek on her crossed arms.
Eyes closed, the wind blowing through her hair as the sound of the waves gently crashing into each other filled the air along with the waterfall cascading down.
"You're here."
The sudden infiltration of the familiar voice made her eyes snap open, the panic washing over her as she looked over her shoulder.
Under the gleaming glow of the moon, Renjun's eyes fell to the way her eyes were redder than usual, a hue of darkness under them and the radiance she naturally had was now nowhere to be seen.
The usual honey brown swirls of her eyes diminished, leaving her with dull ones instead.
His smile slowly faded, a pang of hurt flashing through him at the sight and as he began to walk closer- Jisoo stood up.
The hoodie she was wearing looked slightly bigger on her than usual and he wondered if she had been eating- the sight of her was clear enough to see she lacked energy.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, not walking any closer as she clutched onto the material of her sweater paw anxiously.
"I'm fine." Her voice lacked the usual jovial tone and Renjun felt his spirits lower.
"Are you sure?" He asked but she just curtly nodded.
"Have you eaten?"
"Yeah." She lied, Renjun's teeth lightly bit down on the inside of his cheek.
"You don't look like you're okay." He commented as Jisoo turned away from him to look over the river.
"I'm fine."
"No you're not."
Jisoo could only hold her tongue, her nail digging into the broken skin of her finger as he continued to speak.
"You don't have to go through this alone Jisoo, it's okay to have the people around you to comfort you." Renjun stood a few steps closer, eyebrows knitted together in worry.
Jisoo could feel the heat of frustration and anger, upset and despair conjure up inside of her until it bubbled at her throat and clenched at her heart.
"You look like you've been crying for days and you clearly haven't been sleeping or eating. Why can't you just let me help you? You're clearly not okay -"
"I said I was fine!" She lashed out finally turning to him, her voice raised with the burst of emotion beginning to spill out.
The sudden angry exclaim made Renjun's words cease as he stood slightly stunned but she let out a shaky exhale- fingers taking through her hair.
"But...it's okay-"
"What's okay? What is really okay Renjun? Please tell me because I'm really dying to know. Nothing, nothing is okay." She couldn't help it from spilling out the more worked up she was getting- tears lining her eyes.
"I don't want your sympathy, I don't want anything- please I just want everything to be how it was! I want my life back, I want my family back. I miss them, I miss them so much it hurts so bad." Her hand clutched the material of her hoodie above her chest tightly as the pain grew.
"Everything I had, everything I lived my whole life for is gone." She whispered.
"I don't know what I'm even doing here, I feel so- I can't...I hate it, the way I can hear my heart beating or the fact I can't look at myself in the mirror without wanting to throw up. I can't handle seeing the ugly scars," she shook her head, swallowing the feeling of bile rising up her throat. "I hate everything, I hate everything about me now and I hate that I think that way. I thought it was hard enough to live as a human but now..."
Jisoo sighed harshly out of frustration, wiping the tears from her eyes in irritation.
"I can't do this, be a witch? I can't even think straight and it's like everyone is expecting so much- how am I meant to save the world? I can't do that and I'll just end up disappointing everyone!"
"It hurts, I don't even know why it hurts." Her hand gripped onto her hoodie at her chest- knuckles turning white as her eyes met his own- blurred by her tears. "It hurts to breathe, I can't breathe and every time I try to sleep I get these nightmares of me failing to save everyone- they all die, you die. It's scary, I'm scared to even touch anyone in case I accidentally lose control and hurt them."
"I'm so, I just hate it. I hate it all." Her voice cracked into a whisper.
A small whimper fell from her lips, finally the words and feelings she was keeping inside had lifted off her chest but she still felt the same.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you-" she finally said, realising her outburst but a warm comforting hand slid across her cheek, cupping it to tilt her head up towards him.
Jisoo stared up at him from the bright glow of the moon above them, the pad of his thumb softly brushing away the fallen tears on her flushed cheek.
"Listen to me," he began gently, capturing her attention. "It's okay to let it all out, don't apologise. I'm really sorry I didn't realise sooner that you felt this way, you don't deserve any of this. I wish I could make it stop hurting." He spoke, lightly brushing the hair out of her face. "I'm here, I'll be here for you, you don't have to go through this alone."
She nodded, sniffling as her breaths remained uneven- feeling slightly light headed and tiresome.
He draped his coat over her shoulder before snaking his arm over them to bring her into his embrace- her cheek resting on the soft material of his sweater and arms around his torso.
His welcoming, soft scent drifted over her and his warmth lulled her into a space of tranquility.
Renjun's free hand gently ran down the expanses of her hair in a comforting attempt.
With her eyes closed, relishing in his grip- she felt the warmth of his lips brush over her forehead- the sounds of the waves crashing drowned out.
"I really admire you," he began. "You're the best thing that's happened to me, please don't put yourself down. You're none of those things."
"Thank you." She whispered as he tightened his grip around her. Jisoo lifted her head, her eyes staring up into his own as he looked down at her.
The moment had created a barrier between them and anything else, it was as if it was only the two of them in that moment and nothing else mattered.
"For everything."
I think my girl really needed to let things out bless her