you didn't know what was wrong with you.
you'd started to look for kuroo everywhere. and whenever you saw his black hair, your heart did a flip. you'd crane your neck so you could catch sight of his face in the hallway.
it disgusted you. you'd walk by the class he was in on your way to the bathroom to catch him bent over his desk, working on something. you'd started getting excited to come to school so that you could see him or talk to him.
whenever you passed by him in the hallway and he saw you, he'd always smirk at you and lift his head slightly in a silent 'what's up.' it never failed to excite you, no matter how many times it happened.
you knew you thought about him too much, but you couldn't control it. kuroo was invading your mind. it was made even worse by the fact that you knew he'd never take you seriously. it wasn't who he was. not that he'd want you anyways, but if by any chance he did, you didn't want to become one of the other girls who'd fallen for him and just been a replaceable tool for his sexual pleasure. you were worth more than that.
as much as you hated to admit it, maybe kasumi was perfect for someone like kuroo. visually, the two were insane. they were just so nice to look at that it drove you crazy. kasumi's big brown eyes, cute nose, and pouty lips were a match for kuroo's undeniably handsome features, and seeing them next to each other only confirmed that.
a small part of you wouldn't even mind if they started dating for real. he would cheat on her, and you knew it was bad, but that small part of you wanted kasumi to be cheated on. it would put her in her place. she may look beautiful, but her personality made her uglier than every other girl you knew.
kuroo was too good for her.
your mind was racing again when you sat down at lunch next to ayako.
"hey," you said softly to her, giving her a small wave before looking around the cafeteria to see if kuroo was there. he wasn't.
"hey, y/n." ayako smiled at you before taking a bit of her food. you started to dig into your food as well. the silence was comfortable as the both of you focused on eating.
suddenly the entire atmosphere in the cafeteria changed. clothes rustled as students turned to look at something behind you.
you followed everyone's gaze.
there he is.
kuroo walked into the cafeteria with his usual walk that dripped with confidence and authority. kasumi held his hand in hers, but he was not looking at her. instead, he was looking back at kenma, who was doing something on his phone behind the couple.
an obnoxious smile lit up kasumi's face as she moved closer to kuroo, brushing her body against his. you continued to eat your food, looking back every once in a while to see her touching him and getting close to him in a way that seemed unnatural.
"she's pathetic," ayako said to you quietly.
you nodded. "she's obsessed with him," you said. "it's gross. he's not even her boyfriend."
ayako looked back at the two. "does she even realize he's sleeping with other girls?"
you laughed. "it's embarrassing for her."
kuroo had talked about kasumi once to you, when you'd mentioned student council. you wondered if he truly cared for her. out of all the girls kuroo had slept with, kasumi was the only one that was consistent. you were jealous of her, you had to admit. but you didn't own kuroo or kasumi, so you couldn't stop any of it.
ayako smirked. "she must have really good pussy for him to put up with her."
you burst out laughing and ayako followed, the two of you creating a minor scene within the cafeteria.
•••
you sat in the library, waiting. it was quiet, like usual, and you leaned your head on your hands, watching other students do their work or read at the tables.
a quick look at your phone told you that kuroo was already 8 minutes late. you guessed it was a bad habit of his to be late to things.
he finally showed up at the entrance, accompanied, of course, by kasumi. she said something to him, and he said something back. you saw her shrug, and then throw her arms around kuroo's neck and jump up. he was forced to catch her by the back of her thighs, and she wrapped her legs around him. she kissed his jaw and neck, making a big spectacle for everyone to see.
you raised an eyebrow in disgust. she was doing a little too much considering the fact that they weren't dating. without context, it could have looked like they'd been dating for years.
you eventually had to look away, feeling like you were interrupting something. you felt a little dejected. it was just another reminder that kuroo was a player, and that you should stop letting yourself feel things before you got in too deep.
finally kasumi took her hands off of kuroo and walked away from him with a wave. he waved back and then walked through the doors. he locked eyes with you, and smirked. it annoyed you.
he walked into the private study room the two of you had used last time.
you took a deep breath and stood up, grabbing your backpack and slowly making your way to the room. your head was on a swivel to make sure no one noticed your actions.
you opened the door to the study room and slipped inside quickly.
"hey." kuroo was already getting his books out of his backpack when you turned to face him.
"hi, kuroo." you smiled at him.
"sorry you had to see that." his tone was a teasing one. "she's kind of-"
"it's fine," you said quickly, interrupting him. you didn't want to hear it, so you gave him a playful smile. "and by the way, if you wanted to apologize, you should apologize to the entire library. not just me."
he looked away from you, not saying anything. you put your backpack down and sat in the chair across from him. you pulled out your computer.
"why do you always hang out with her anyways? you're not dating, are you?" you asked, but then realized what had just come out of your mouth. "sorry." you looked at him with wide, apologetic eyes. "that was probably too personal."
kuroo shrugged. "good sex."
you pressed your lips together, not sure how to react to his words.
kuroo sighed. "but she's so fucking possessive over me. it's so weird." he opened his workbook. "and all the pda or whatever you see is just some weird show she puts on for everyone to see."
"oh."
"i'm honestly so tired of it, but she won't let me cut her off."
excitement bubbled up in your stomach at the idea of kuroo not being emotionally attached to kasumi, but you scolded yourself and pushed it down. all this was probably stressful for him, but you had to remind yourself that kuroo was not innocent. he'd broken hearts, used girls for their bodies.
"sorry, kuroo. i didn't know." you said politely, but he only chuckled.
he shrugged, then something seemed to occur to him. "why?" he suddenly asked you, his mouth spreading into a smirk. "are you jealous?"
you rolled your eyes. "not everyone in the world likes you, kuroo," you said. maybe you did like him, but he didn't need to know that. a smile crept up on your face. "i thought you were gonna like, open up to me or something."
kuroo laughed for a short amount of time, then just shrugged.
it was silent for a moment. you felt a little bit awkward.
"do you have a boyfriend?" kuroo eventually asked you.
you looked up at him in surprise. "do i look like i have a boyfriend?" you asked sarcastically.
kuroo shrugged. "i could see you with one." he smirked at you, and you had to look away quickly.
"well, i've never had one."
kuroo raised his eyebrows like he was surprised. "never? really?"
"don't make me feel embarrassed about it. do your work."
kuroo obliged, a smirk plastered on his face. your heart was beating against your chest, and you were more humiliated than you were willing to admit to yourself. kuroo had gone through many relationships, so your lack of experience was probably strange to him.
after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, kuroo looked up at you.
"so..." he began, his eyes glinting with amusement. "are you a virgin?"
the question startled you to the point where you physically jumped. you couldn't look at him, but he stared directly at you with a smile, waiting for your answer.
"that's none of your fucking business, kuroo." you spoke almost aggressively, your stomach churning at his mention of your non-existent sex life.
"so you are one," he said accusingly, looking smug.
you rolled your eyes, but didn't say anything.
"interesting," kuroo said, putting down his pencil and fidgeting with the ring on his finger. "have you ever been touched?"
you sighed and shook your head, your stomach coiling in on itself in embarrassment at his words.
"first kiss?" kuroo asked you.
you finally met his eyes, and he looked at you with a smug grin, twisting a ring around his middle finger and gazing intensely into your eyes.
"no. shut the fuck up and do your work."
you tore your eyes away from him and looked back at your computer. kasumi had sent you a file of things that needed to be on the school dance flyer after communicating with the teachers.
kuroo hummed, and then clicked his tongue. "what a waste," he said softly, looking down at his work. "you're too pretty for that."
you gulped. "you're so bold today," you said, trying to be casual.
"you could say that," kuroo smiled down at his paper, and you took deep breaths to calm your racing heart. he didn't even give you the chance. "come here," he commanded, eyeing you suggestively. his hands rested on his thighs, and he licked his lips.
your heart lurched in your chest as you looked up at him. what was he trying to do?
"why?" you asked, trying to keep your voice from shaking.
kuroo smirked, letting out a deep chuckle. "i need you to check my answers. did you forget you're here to teach me english?"
you rolled your eyes to cover up the fact that your heart was pounding against your chest. you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.
"fine." you stood up and picked up the chair you'd been sitting in. you carried it over to kuroo's side of the table and placed it down next to him. you tucked your uniform skirt underneath your thighs and sat. "show me."
kuroo slid his workbook towards you. the page he was opened to contained questions that he had to write the answer to.
number 1 said: 'what is your favorite activity?' underneath, kuroo had written: 'i like to play volleyball.' number 2: 'what does your best friend like to do after school?' kuroo had written: 'my best friend likes to play video games after school.'
you smiled. "kuroo, this is good!" you spoke in english, and kuroo grinned. he leaned his elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand, twisting his body sideways towards you.
you continued to look down at his work, telling him your corrections as you went, until you felt kuroo's hand on your lower thigh.
you froze, and your heart rate once again picked up significantly.
kuroo rubbed his thumb back and forth against your skin before moving up a little bit. his hand now rested in the middle of your thigh.
"what are you doing?" you asked, looking over at him. you tried to hide it with annoyance, but he heard how your breath hitched in your throat.
kuroo hummed, a small smile creeping up on his lips. "just thinking about how i'm probably the first to touch you like this."
you gulped.
"you're much more innocent than i thought," he said, giving your thigh a squeeze. "it's cute."
you focused your eyes on his workbook, trying to keep a calm composure despite your ever-quickening heart rate.
"kuroo-" you trailed off, placing your hand on top of his to stop it's movement against the skin of your thigh.
he looked down at your hand on his with a chuckle, and then clicked his tongue. "focus, y/n."
you sheepishly took your hand off of kuroo's and picked up the pen you'd been holding. you stared blankly at the page.
"did i make any other mistakes?" kuroo asked you, snapping you out of your trance.
your eyes quickly scanned over his work. you found a mistake in the last question.
"so. instead of saying-" you were interrupted by kuroo's hand moving sideways, towards your inner thigh. he squeezed lightly again, eyes absorbing your reactions with amusement. "instead of saying 'i eat lunch in noon everyday..." you paused again as kuroo's hand moved up a little. you were hyperaware of his touch, realizing that this wasn't appropriate at all for multiple reasons.
but you liked it.
"mhm..." he watched his hand move the fabric of your skirt back. his ring was cold against your skin.
"you would say that you eat lunch at noon every day. 'in' indicates a location. in this context, 'at' would indicate a time." you finished, and kuroo immediately took his hand off your thigh. you exhaled sharply and slid his workbook back in his direction.
he erased 'in' and wrote 'at' instead, and then closed his workbook. he dropped it into his backpack and then zipped it shut. he stood up, and you looked up at him. you probably looked stupid.
"i have volleyball," kuroo said, smirking down at you. he reached out his hand and placed it on your shoulder, giving you a quick massage there. "good job today." he winked.
"yeah. you too," you replied.
"see you tomorrow?" he was making his way towards the door now. you didn't want him to leave.
"yeah. i'll see you."
he fluttered his fingers at you. "bye, y/n."
he closed the door behind him as he left, and you sat there, staring at the wood before realizing that you needed to go to dance.