SONG: STAY BY GRACIE ABRAMS
My apartment was dark, I turned off the lights but remembered I couldn't walk up to turn them off without hurting myself.
I leaned against the window wall of my apartment; I watched the rainfall to the ground as I sat there watching it.
I wish we could have found a way out of it, instead of having myself suffer.
The sound of the rain pouring onto the roof of the building and the window fogging up made me calmer, but not that calm.
It was my first car accident I was in, and I know some car wrecks end that badly, but I didn't know what happened on this one.
The person was driving on the wrong side of the road? How did they even get past everything?
Feeling my eyes swell up with tears, I turn my gaze from the window and put my head down on my knees before slamming my hands to my ears, trying to block out the world.
I needed the time to calm down, to process what happened that night.
But time wasn't my friend know.
Thinking about if I didn't get my heartbeat back, what would have happened.
What would lucifer do? What would they tell peter if I never came back? What would my parents say to Lucifer?
I was scared.
Not scared. I'm terrified of it.
I don't know if I should be angry at Lucifer or upset.
Nothing makes sense to me right now.
...
Lucifer and I were not on speaking terms, for two months and four days.
It was now April 14th.
Lucifer's gates were locked, his phone was dead, his nightclub was closed, and his publishing office was only open for appointments.
I tried everything...
I'm walking now, without the crutch.
Lisa has been helping me, and so has my mom.
My stomach was still wounded, and my wrist was strained for a while, the scar below my right eye won't go away either.
I needed to know he was okay.
Why hasn't he checked up on me?
Did he give up on me? That easily.
He almost lost me the same way he lost his parents.
I miss him so much.
I look back at my tv, before taking the blanket off my legs and getting a glass of water.
I was home alone at the moment. The days went by so slow.
I walked over to my bathroom and looked at myself. The red scar below my eye visible from close, my brunette hair wavy and frizzy, my face naked from the makeup I hadn't put on in weeks.
I turn on my shower and let it run before stripping from my clothes and looking back at my mirror, running my fingers along with the angel wings on my collar bones.
Shaking my head and wiping my eyes, I step into my shower and let the warm water run down my cold body, remembering the last time I was with Lucifer.
The shower after the rain kiss.
Using my energy to get the soap in my hair and wash it out, I wash my body too, running the luffa along my stomach.
I turn off the water and step out, wrapping my warm towel around me and drying my body off, I find the energy to get dressed to go out today, putting on some jeans, a black shirt, and a greenish-colored jacket to cover myself a bit.
Drying my hair, I straighten it and then put on some mascara, lip gloss, and blush.
I look in the mirror at my appearance and look down to my stomach, pulling up my jeans to cover it.
I walk out of my room, freshening myself up a bit before getting my car keys and sitting in the driver's seat.
Taking a deep breath, I put the keys in and slowly drive out of my parking space and make my way down the road.
I drive for a while, listening to music and taking deep breaths before coming to the stop at lucifer mansion.
I wasn't giving up on him.
I get out of my car and walk up to his gates; his house looked the same when I looked at it.
I try to open it again when it doesn't work, I lean up the speaker and lean against it.
"lucifer I know you're here," I mumble.
"Just open your gates, please," I whisper.
Standing there for a minute I hear a soft click before I lean up, I look around and try to push open his gate, and it opens for me.
I close the gate again and walk up his long driveway and up to his door. And take a seat, my back against his front door.