A few things crossed my mind as my fully clothed body hit the water.
One, well, I was fully clothed.
Two, my M&M's were falling with us.
Three, the water was freaking cold.
Four, if I had mean ninja skills, this never would have happened.
And five, Blake was a dead man.
It was as simple as that. I had come here to actually be kind and apologize and now Mister Pompous Ass had thrown me in the water?
The nerve.
He was dead.
Blake was still holding me around the waist, as we got deeper into the water, and all I could think about was that the second we would come up for air he was going down. I would drown that stinking bastard!
My shirt and shorts were slowing my movements, but I still managed to shove Blake away and then came back up for air.
A few seconds later, Blake's head appeared on the surface and he was laughing, actually laughing.
That asshole!
Without hesitation, I jumped on him, to dunk him, and pushed us both down. I kicked myself deeper, my hands pushing his shoulders down, but the shorts kinda made it hard to go fast.
Stupid shorts!
I wondered how guys could actually go fast wearing those... which was definitely not the point here anyway.
I grabbed Blake's shirt and towed him deeper. But then Blake held me around the waist again, and he was the one dragging me to the bottom of the Creek. I wiggled out of his hands, kicking and pushing him away, and pulled myself back to the surface, gasping for air. I barely had time to take one breath before I was pulled by the ankle back into the water.
Yeah, I was probably not going to win this fight, I thought as I was once again surrounded by the coldness of the water.
I hated to admit this but I was still a girl and the guy I was up against was kind of the running back in my school football team. As much as I'd loved to believe I was a badass, I didn't really stand a chance when I lost the element of surprise.
Stinking jackass, stinking stinking jackass!
So I kicked Blake in the chest, and swam to the surface, heading for the deck.
Unfortunately, before I could lift myself fully on the deck, Blake grabbed me around the waist and there I was falling back in the water again and I could hear Blake laughing.
I pushed him away.
"Do you have any idea in how much trouble you are right now," I screamed at him and then kicked the water with my legs, splashing him. "Because trust me, you're in so much trouble that your children and your children's children will pay for this!"
Blake couldn't answer because he was laughing too much.
"God! You're sooooo annoying," I yelled, and pushed his head underwater before swimming as fast as I could to the deck to finally make it out of the water.
I got on my feet, my clothes dripping, furious.
"Look at what you've done! Now I'm all freaking wet because of you," I yelled at him, pulling my shirt and shorts a little away from me, to not have them stick on me.
Wet clothes were so uncomfortable!
"Oh that's so not the first time I'm getting this from a girl," Blake said while pulling himself back on the deck.
"Dear freaking mother of god! Could you just once, just freaking once not turn everything I say into something sexual? Just once?" I yelled at him, shoving him on the chest.
"I could, but where would be the fun in that?" Blake replied, laughing and smirking.
Oh my god, I hated him! Hated him.
I turned around, walking away from him, scowling.
What was it about him that just infuriated me so much? Ugh!
I rushed furiously in the trail, my clothes sticking on me uncomfortably.
"Aw, come on Lexi, lighten up," Blake laughed behind me, and I purposely made a branch snap behind me so he could get it in the face.
"Ouch," Blake yelled. "That was just mean, Pumpkin!"
"Well that's all you deserve, you stupid prick," I yelled and then I turned around punching him on the chest, "Not only did you throw me in the water but you freaking drowned my M&M's, you asshole!"
"If it can make you happy, I'll buy you more," Blake laughed.
I groaned furiously and ran the last few feet out of the trail, still scowling.
"Oh my god! Kitty what happened to you?" Alex laughed, the second he saw me.
"That jackass, that's what happened," I said mad, pointing towards Blake.
Blake was still laughing like a moron and then he took his soaked shirt off, shoving his hair back in the process.
For one tiny tiny second, my brain went wow but then I mentally kicked myself in the ass.
"And don't you think taking your shirt off will make up for it, you dim-wit," I yelled at him and then ran away again, his laughter echoing behind me.
Ugh!
"Kitty, wait up," Alex yelled behind, and ran to me "I put your things in my tent."
"Thanks," I said, but my tone was still fuming.
"Calm down Kitty, breathe in, breathe out," Alex snickered.
"Do you have any idea how mad I am right now? Do you have any clue how much I want to punch that idiot in the face? Seriously, I have no idea what I'm going to do to get back at him just yet, but trust me, when I do figure it out, he'll wish he was never born," I said, furious.
"You know you should just calm down for a second. He pushed you in the water, so what? It's no big deal," Alex said with a little smirk like it was actually funny to him.
"Okay, now you're annoying me too," I scowled and without listening to his reply ran to his tent to change.
I zipped it close behind me and then took off all my soaking wet clothes, and my bikini too and changed into my warmer clothes; my black sweat pants and my gray hoodie, over a light t-shirt. I got out, a minute later, my damp clothes rolled in my hands, while I tied my hair into a bun again, to not have them wet my hoodie.
"Wow, you look mad," Janna said to me when I walked to the picnic table to get my hands on some food.
I settled on a chocolate bar.
"That's because I am mad," I answered and took a big bite of chocolate.
"Does that mean we won't get Lexi's famous marshmallow and chocolate chip honey cookies?" Trevor said beside her, pouting.
"No don't worry you'll get one," and as I answered I saw Blake walking to the tree where everyone wet clothes were hanging to dry, still laughing "BUT SOMEONE SHOULD LOOK OUT FOR THE SPIT IN HIS," I yelled so he could hear it.
He just laughed more.
And I just scowled more.
I ate my chocolate bar with rage and then proceed to hang my clothes on the branch too.
And that's when I had an epiphany, when I saw Blake's bathing suit.
I laughed alone mischievously while I left to walk in the wood.
I looked around for a little while and then finally found what I was looking for; those plants with little round spiky thingy that are kinda like Velcro. Actually, I think they inspired the guy that invented Velcro. Anyway those little spiky balls that clung to your clothes when you walked through them and that hurt your finger when you pulled them off.
I took a bunch, hurting myself a little in the process, and then still laughing alone, walked back to the tree with everyone's clothes and put all of the spiky thingies inside Blake's bathing suit.
I would be the one laughing when he'd put it back on. Because I knew how things went, we would all go swimming back in the Creek when it would be dark.
And I would have my revenge.
Ah sweet, sweet revenge.
Nodding to myself, I left and headed to the camping chairs, where everyone looked at Cameron, trying to start the fire.
"I'll bring you fire, my people," he was saying, when I sat in an empty seat beside Alex.
"If you could do that, like in this century that would be really nice," his brother said beside him, laughing.
"We should throw beer on it!" Shawn said, drinking from his bottle.
"Wow, what a wonderful idea Shawn, why don't you try that and see how much that won't work considering how low in alcohol that stinking American beer is," Blake answered shaking his head.
"Got a better idea?" Shawn asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Just give him a minute, we're not at the throw-gas-on-it stage yet," Blake answered.
"You look less furious Kitty," Alex said beside me.
"That's because I just realized I was getting mad too fast and for no good reason," I answered with an evil smile.
"What did you do to him?" Alex laughed before drinking from his beer.
"Nothing that will harm him... yet."
"Is this the moment when you laugh like Cruella Devil or twist your mustache with evil eyes?" Alex said, laughing.
"Hey! I don't have a mustache," I replied, fakely offended and mock-punched him on the shoulder.
"So what, you do kill puppies?"
"Dumbass," I smiled, pushing his shoulder.
"Oh oh! It's starting guys," Cameron yelled clapping his hands together, jumping up and down like a puppy that wanted its treat.
"You're such a child Cameron," Connor said, while sitting.
And then I smiled to myself, just enjoying being here, with all these stupid guys that I called friends, grateful for the fact that even though they were complete idiots sometimes they could always make me laugh, they could always make me smile, and they made me forget about everything else, and made me just enjoy the present. Not everybody had that.
I lifted my legs to my chest, resting my head on my knees and looked at the orange sun set behind the trees, pink, blue, red, white and orange twisting together into a perfect picture, one that only the sky could hold.
And just like that, I was happy again, and I didn't care that my life felt screwed up right now, I didn't care that my mother had abandoned us, or that Blake was an ass, all I cared was that I was looking at something beautiful which I was lucky to be able too, and it was enough for now.
"Alright, who's the man?" Cameron smirked, holding his arm up beside him, leaning back a little and nodding.
"Your mom," Dwayne yelled and then Cameron and Trevor said, "Don't you dare talk about my mom," at the exact same time, in the exact same tone and attitude, making us all burst into laughter.
"So you guys are enjoying our trip?" Alex asked when everyone had taken a seat around the small fire.
"I'm going to be enjoying it more when I'll have one of Lexi's marshmallow cookies in my hands," Trevor said.
"Forget about it dude, you ain't getting your hands on my cookies," I said smirking.
"Ow, Trevor got burned," Dwayne yelled, and everyone laughed.
"See that's exactly what we were missing, dirty jokes," Clark nodded, smirking.
Good god, really? "Please," I rolled my eyes.
"Oh yeah and I made another of my legendary versions of the Aristocrat's joke for you guys," Clark added and then we were all shouting at him to stop and shut up, that we didn't want to hear it and that he was just a gross perv... well I yelled the last part.
"So, a family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, a mother..." Clark started to say really loudly, ignoring our shouting, but then Blake yelled, "If you don't stop right now, so help me god, I'll tell everyone about that time you tried to p-" and Clark lunged at him, efficiently shutting them both up.
"If you ever tell anyone," Clark was yelling and Blake was just laughing.
He seemed to be laughing a lot since pushing me in the water. He wouldn't be laughing soon enough, when he would put his shorts on. Mwahahaha.
"Alright guys, break it off," Mark intervened, shoving Clark away.
"Fine," Blake laughed and settled his chair back on its feet and sat on it.
"I was just trying to tell a little joke," Clark pouted.
"Yeah, like the most disgusting joke in the history of dirty jokes," I snorted.
"You don't know about that. Maybe in this version they really were doing a talent show," Clark answered me.
"Alright, what's an aristracrap joke?" an annoyed voice I had almost forgotten about, Stacey's, asked.
"If you answer that Clark I'm telling everyone," Blake warned him.
"Aw, come on! She asked," Clark whined.
"Well, we ask you to keep your jokes to yourself," Alex told him.
"If I can't share my sex jokes, then I might as well leave right now," Clark pouted again.
"Please do," I smirked, nodding my head.
"Shush! You like me! My presence is a blessing."
"And now, I'm asking you to stop being delusional," Alex laughed, shaking his head in fake disapproval.
"Fine, as long as I get to ask one thing," Clark said.
"Depends," Alex answered.
"Oh it's really simple, there's one thing I want to know in life one thing, and that is," Clark started to say and then turned to face Blake, "how the hell did you manage to score that Maxim girl? Seriously how? I'm begging you man!"
I rolled my eyes. I was prepared for something so much more dramatic.
"Don't get all whiny, damn it. I don't know. She was at one of my mom's book release," Blake answered rolling his eyes too.
"What kind of book does your mom write that makes a Maxim girl come to the event?" Clark exclaimed.
"That's... she was with a guy, a publisher or manager or some shit like that, alright, I don't know, don't ask me," Blake said, shaking his head.
"But how?" Clark begged.
"I told you, I don't know, I was drunk," Blake answered, lifting his hand and letting them fall back beside him.
"See, that's why life is so unfair, he gets drunk, he gets a Maxim girl, I get drunk I get-"
"Your cousin Sue," Blake cut him, laughing.
"Just shut up!" Clark said, falling deep in his chair, sighing "Life is so unfair," he frowned, shaking his head and then drank from his beer bottle, "I wonder who deflowered you..."
"Aw for fuck's sake, aren't you done talking about my sex life?" Blake exclaimed.
"I bet it's that chick I saw on one of the pictures in your phone, Evelyn I think..."
"Dude, that's my cousin. Unlike you, I don't do that family thing. And if you don't wipe that fucking smirk off your face and stop thinking about her, I'm going to do it myself," Blake warned.
Hmm? Blake sounded like an over-protective big brother right now. That was a side of him I wasn't expecting.
"Ah please, you can't keep all these England girls to yourself," Clark exclaimed.
"You know what, suit yourself, go on and try to nail any of them, just keep the fuck away from my family," Blake mumbled.
"And why would you want to go anywhere else when I'm here?" Miriam crooned to Clark and then she was all over him.
Ugh. How unimaginative?
"Aw, get a room or something," Blake frowned and then picked his chair up and walked over me smirking and set it right beside mine.
I rolled my eyes at him.
"So, still mad at me Pumpkin?" Blake smirked.
"Of course not," I replied angelically.
"Should I be scared?" Blake said and snorted.
"Very," I smirked.
"Oh well, I guess I'll deserve, whatever it is right? After all, I killed your M&M's," Blake laughed.
"Exactly and murder should earn you a death penalty. Especially since what you did was like mass murder!"
Everyone around were having conversations, talking about anything, but strangely, I didn't really cared about what they talked about. Fighting with Blake was so much more fun.
"So you're like an over protective brother with that cousin of yours?" I said.
"She is like the little sister I never had. Every time I go back to England with my parents, we stay most of the time at the family mansion, so I spend a lot of my time with her, and my other cousins of course."
"Family mansion? How loaded is your family for Pete's sake?" I asked incredulous.
First the Lamborghini, then all the trips and the houses everywhere, and the studios and the art galleries and now a family mansion?
"Oh it's because I'm a prince. I'm the heir to the throne and all that, and my family rules the world with an underground organization, fighting all the mythical creatures, so we get a lot of cash killing zombies," Blake explained, matter-of-factly.
"Dang it, and here I thought you were an undercover cop or something," I joked back.
"And I was spying on you because your mom actually found a new profession, prostitution. And her pimp, that we saw at the restaurant, is like the leader of all pimps and I want to take him down because he shot me once and because of him I can't pee straight anymore. But now, I can't seem to take her down because I'm hypnotize by your beauty."
"No, no. no, that's not it! You're actually a double agent and you fell in love with one of the girls you should have saved and you kidnapped her, trying to pull a Stockholm syndrome on her," I said, enthusiastically, laughing.
"And it turns out the pimp is the love of her life and I can't kill him because otherwise she'll be mad at me. Yeah, yeah I like that scenario," Blake laughed.
"But seriously?" I asked, trying to be serious again.
"Oh..." Blake shrugged a shoulder, "well my families just always been lucky in business. They invested in the right companies at the right time, I guess, oh and inheritance and life insurance helped too. But yeah, both families, always been loaded, always will be I guess. Well, who knows with the stock market these days," Blake smiled and laughed. "I think I liked the pimp story better, it has more personality."
"Me too."
"Alright Lexi, I think I've waited long enough now. I want my cookies," Trevor whined.
"Okay, don't get all hysterical-middle-aged-women-in-a-75%-off-sale-on-shoes-shop on me dude," I laughed and got up to go take my food.
When I got back with the marshmallows, chocolate-milk chips, and the honey cookies, some of the guys where already waiting by the fire with stick in their hands for the marshmallows.
"Okay guys, no fighting," I laughed and then took the branch Alex was handing me.
"I'm first! I'm first," Trevor yelled, and I rolled my eyes at him.
After stabbing one of the marshmallows with the stick, I laid it over the fire, turning it over, to not grill it too much, just trying to give it that perfect golden tan.
"Alright Trevor, take your two cookies, Alex can you open the bags of chocolate chip?" I said, ordering every one, which was kinda fun.
I took the marshmallow out and, after telling Trevor how to angle the cookies properly, slid it between them, and after, I took the chocolate chip bags and let them fall on the melting marshmallows, making some fall on the ground, but that was just standard procedure. And then, his cookie was done and I squished them together.
"Voilà!" I said, and bowed a little.
Trevor didn't say anything because he was already attacking it.
And so, I started to make more, for everyone. That was a habit I had. Every time we camped out, I made those cookies, and I had to be the one grilling the marshmallows, I didn't know why, I guess I was just a control freak like that, so I wanted to do it all.
When I had given one to everyone, I finally started to make one for myself.
"These are great you know that," Alex said, his mouth full, his fingers full of melting marshmallow and chocolate.
I smiled at him, "If they weren't you wouldn't ask for more every time."
But then I looked down at my marshmallow and it was on freaking fire.
"Aw crap!" I whined and then proceed to stop the fire by shaking it from left to right "Now great, I have to get this off," I groaned.
The white and black goop was scorching on my fingers and all sticky, and I wanted to wipe it but there was no way I was doing that on my clothes and then, oh joy, I knew exactly where I would put it when I looked at Blake, who was standing up, right beside me because he was the last one I had made a cookie for.
With a smirk I wiped it all in his face.
"Damn it Lexi! That's hot," Blake screamed, jumping away in surprise.
I just laughed. It was good to be the one laughing for once.
"Oh you wanna play that game," Blake said and he was the one laughing now.
And then he opened his cookie and slid it all, marshmallow and chocolate, everywhere on my face.
"Ew! You jerk! That's gross. Take it off," I yelled, and I wanted to clean it off my face, but it was hot and all sticky and dang that wasn't pleasant.
"Alright," Blake said, smirking even more and then he took my chin in his hand and then licked my cheek, actually licked my freaking cheek.
"OH MY GOD! Blake! You fucking dick," I yelled and then pushed him on his chair and took his chin in my hand too and lick his face but like with as much spit as I could making a nice bleaaaa sound doing so.
"Alright, alright get off," Blake yelled, laughing and pushing me off.
"You know that was just gross," I scowled, and tried to wipe some of the crap I had left on my face now.
Gross, just gross!
"Hey you licked too," Blake laughed.
"You know what, new ground rule. No face licking, or just licking for that matter," I said sitting back on my chair and then I took Blake's hood, and wiped my face with it.
"I can't promise that," Blake answered, shaking his head and laughing.
"Dumbass," I exclaimed and punched his arm.
Blake just laughed more.
"God I hope you didn't give me your herpes," I whined.
Stacey, who I had still forgotten about, snorted. "For him to have herpes, he'd need to kiss a girl!"
"What?" I answered, rubbing my forearm on my face, trying to clean my face, but still falling. That marshmallow was sticky.
"Oh yeah, mister doesn't like to get kiss," Stacey continued.
"It's her bad breath, not mine," Blake mumbled, low enough that I was probably the only one to hear.
I muffled a laugh.
"You're so weird Blake," Stacey exclaimed, shoving her hair back.
"Thanks, coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment," Blake snorted.
"Whatever," Stacey said, waving her hand and then she went to sit on Shawn's lap.
There were many empty chairs around. Why?
"I don't know about you guys, but I think it's dark enough to go swimming now," Connor said.
"Great idea," I agreed.
That way I could wash my face. And Blake could put his short on.
Mwahahaha.
Everyone else agreed, and next thing I knew we were all taking our bathing suit from the tree and going to change.
I went after Alex, in his tent, my bikini, still damp, which wouldn't be fun to put on but at least it would be easier to get in the water. It would feel less cold.
When I was changed, and untying my bun, letting my still a little damp hair fall to the middle of my back, that's when I heard what I was waiting for.
"LEXI," Blake shrieked.
Ah sweet revenge...
_________
I've kept the dumb-Lexi-moment in this chapter, just because I love the fact that Blake calls all his friends peasants for not calling s'mores, s'mores. If you watch the live reading of this chapter, I'll give context to this trainwreck moment. XD
If you have any questions, you can leave them here.
Otherwise, the live reading will be on Sunday March 7th at 11AM EST at instagram.com/kaygiard
See you there! :D