"Are you okay? You sound out of breath."
Phone pressed between his shoulder and ear, Jun lets out a breath and straightens his back, screwing up his face as his spine clicks in multiple places. He stares at the boxes around him, which he's had to lug down the stairs from his apartment to the lobby, thanks to the elevator being broken.
"Oh, yeah," he says. "I'm fine. Just... finished working out."
Minghao chuckles on the other end. "Are you free later? We haven't hung out in a while, and Ai is getting restless because she misses you."
Smiling to himself, Jun wanders over to an armchair in the communal area and collapses into it. "I'm sorry," he says, picking at a loose thread on his jeans. "I've been kinda busy with work recently... got a lot going on, you know? I'm free all day tomorrow though, so lets go out somewhere."
"Okay!" Minghao replies, and he sounds like he's about to carry on, but he's cut off by a noise in the distance. He sighs. "Lulu's barking, I should probably go... see you tomorrow," the lightness in his voice sends a small pang through Jun's heart, as it only reminds him that what he just said to Minghao—about what he's doing and being busy with work—is a lie.
"Yeah," he says softly. "See you tomorrow... love you, Hao."
There's a short pause, before Minghao responds. "I love you too."
The call is cut off, Jun drops the phone to his lap with a sigh, and tilts his head back to stare at the ceiling. It's not like he's never going to tell Minghao... just not for a few days. But still, it creates a weighted feeling in his chest that Jun can't shake off.
"RAA!!"
Jun jolts in his seat, as a pair of hands plant themselves on his shoulders and a voice screams in his ear. He yells out a curse, swinging his body round and glaring at a cackling Jeonghan, who holds his hand to his chest as he laughs.
His heartbeat and breathing erratic, Jun takes a few steady breaths before sinking back into the chair, closing his eyes momentarily. "I hate you."
All he gets in return is another bout of laughter.
As he slowly sits up again, Jun's eyes catch with a few other people in the lobby, who glare at the pair. Jun smiles awkwardly and bows his head towards them as a way of apologising. He quickly looks away from all of them, wanting nothing more than to disappear into a black hole. Instead, he slaps Jeonghan's arm with all his might.
Jeonghan just stares at him for a moment as sips his drink, but eventually he stands up and waves Jun over. "So," he says. "How the fuck do we get all this to my house?"
"No idea." Jun shrugs. "Doesn't Mingyu have a car?"
Jeonghan clicks his fingers and nods. "Cool," he says. "You ring him, tell him it's life or death and we need a car right now."
When Mingyu arrives—running into the lobby with a panicked expression, only for it to vanish when he sees his two friends lolled out on armchairs and smirking at him—he stops dead and glares at them. "Are you kidding me?" he groans. "I actually thought it was important."
"It is!" Jeonghan argues. "Just... not that urgent."
Rolling his eyes, Mingyu drops into the chair across from them. "Well, I'm here now. What's up?"
"Can you help us move my stuff to Jeonghan's?" Jun asks, gesturing over to where numerous boxes are still piled by the stairway—along with a couple of suitcases. "Neither of us have a car."
Mingyu stops for a second, his lips parting. He looks at Jeonghan with a frown. "You have a car!"
"Correction," Jeonghan points at him. "My sister has a car, and I steal it frequently. But Hana's out right now."
With a roll of his eyes and a few more seconds of glancing between Jeonghan and Jun, Mingyu sighs. "Yeah fine," he pushes himself to his feet and waves off Jun's attempts to thank him, slouching over to the stairway and grabbing a box. He stares back at them. "I'm not packing it all for you too."
***
Jeonghan's parents are home when they get there, and help Jun in moving the boxes to the spare room.
"We're sorry we don't have another room to keep your things in. Won't it be too crowded at night?" Jeonghan's father asks with concern.
Jun shakes his head. "No it's fine! I can't thank you enough for letting me stay in the first place." He waves his hands in front of him, trying to show on his face how genuinely grateful he is. Mrs. Yoon tells him it's not a problem and rests her hand on his arm briefly.
Jeonghan walks up to them and tugs Jun away, dragging the last suitcase behind them.
The spare room is pretty small, with a minimally decorated double bed and little furniture—although Jun's mountain of boxes makes up for that. Among the bed and boxes and the small desk, there's only enough room to walk between them and along one side of the bed. There's a painting hanging above the headboard, of a family of ducks that Jun can't help but smile at.
Jeonghan leans against the door with his arms crossed her his chest. "Hana and I have practice in a while," he says. "I'll be back at 10 o'clock-ish. You okay?"
Nodding, Jun smiles. "I guess," he says. "Everything feels kinda surreal right now—like half of it isn't even happening and I'll come to and everything that I think is going on... isn't? If that make any sense," he forces a laugh.
Jeonghan steps further into the room, on hand still on the doorframe. "I get it," he says. "I feel like that at competitions sometimes. It'll fade eventually, but in the meantime you should have a bath or something, and eat. I can hear your stomach from all the way over here."
Jun's hand flies to his stomach, where it's churning painfully; he didn't even notice. "Are you also implying I stink?"
"Of course not," Jeonghan grins. "I would tell you that outright. I meant that you must be stressed, and baths can help you to relax." He smiles and steps backwards. "I'll get going." The volume of his voice drops as he says goodbye, and leaves Jun alone with his thoughts.
Collapsing onto the bed, Jun sighs deeply at the softness of the duvet and comfy mattress. He becomes occupied with moving his wrist, and watching the light catch on his watch face and send a reflection bouncing off the ceiling. It keeps his attention away for a while, until gradually thoughts start to creep back in: of looking for a new house, finding a way to make some money, telling Minghao eventually and worrying about his reaction.
Not wanting to face those thoughts just yet, Jun decides on that bath Jeonghan suggested.
Sinking into the hot water is like all of his muscles have been tied up with rope until they can't move, and now they've been burned away. Jun submerges himself fully in the water, finding comfort in the silence surrounding him as water fills his ears and blocks out any exterior noise.
Jun spends as long as he can basking in the comfort, until the water starts to cool and he pushes himself out of the bathtub. Mrs. Yoon gave him a towel earlier, and after being thrown over the radiator for the past half an hour it's like wrapping a giant hot water bottle around his body. When he passes Mr. Yoon on the way back to his room, a bright flush rushes to Jun's cheeks as he thinks Jeonghan's father will say something, or judge him for having a bath in his house, but in Mr. Yoon just gives him a quick smile, and nothing seems ill-mannered, which makes Jun breathe a sigh of pure relief.
And an hour later, a knock comes from the door, and Jun turns from where he's sat at the little desk to find Mrs. Yoon, with a bowl of delicious looking noodles set on a tray. "I thought you might be hungry," she says, starting to walk slowly over to him.
Jun leaps up to take it from her. "Thank you so much," he says. "These look delicious."
Jeonghan's mother pats him on the shoulder. "Come back downstairs if you're still hungry afterwards." Jun nods, and thanks her again, waiting for her to leave before sitting at the desk with the bowl of noodles in front of him and quickly devouring it.
***
Jun stays in the spare room for the rest of the night. He hears Jeonghan and his sister arrive home, but Jeonghan doesn't come to see him or anything; from what Jun hears, Jeonghan runs straight into his room and slams the door behind him, whilst his parents and sister talk in low voices downstairs.
He falls asleep at around eleven, but doesn't stay asleep for long. Jun opens his eyes again at 2:43am—according the digital clock facing him from the desk—with an undeniable urge that leads him to groan to himself, swing the covers off his body and leave his room, stubbing each of his toes into boxes at least twice on his way.
But as he's finishing up, and leaves the bathroom with his arms held close to his chest to preserve some warmth, a noise stops him in his tracks.
Jeonghan's room is right across from the bathroom, and as Jun pauses to listen closer, he hears strained sobs and sniffles through the door.
Stepping closer, Jun knocks gently and waits for a few seconds before entering. Jeonghan looks at him like a deer caught in headlights, with his bedside lamp still on and bright red eyes that stare at Jun in horror.
Jun steps back into the bathroom to grab some tissue and when he returns, the light is off and Jeonghan looks to be curled up in bed, asleep. Jun shakes his head to himself. "Don't worry," he says, holding the tissue out to Jeonghan. "I promise I won't tell anyone." He slowly reaches down and flicks the bedside light back on, revealing Jeonghan with his eyes wide open but staring into nothing.
Jun crouches down on the floor in front of Jeonghan's head. "Did something happen?" he speaks quietly, so as to not draw attention from the rest of Jeonghan's family.
Jeonghan sniffles. "I thought everyone was asleep."
"I was, then I went to the toilet," Jun raises his eyebrows and Jeonghan finally takes the tissue from Jun's hands, using it to wipe his nose. "What's wrong?"
Jeonghan shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. It's stupid."
"If it's enough to make Yoon Jeonghan cry like this, it's clearly not 'nothing'," Jun tells him, readjusting his legs to be crossed underneath him.
When Jeonghan doesn't talk, Jun takes to a good old guessing game. "Did something happen at practice?"
After a while, Jeonghan nods, still staring into thin air.
"Did you fall and hurt yourself?"
Although Jun guesses it's not the case, it does something to break Jeonghan's shell and he throws a look to Jun and scoffs. "No, I didn't."
Jun rocks back and forth on his butt, humming to himself. "Hmmm," he ponders, "Were you trying and trying to master something and it wasn't working out?"
"You think so lowly of me."
"And you set impossible standards for yourself."
Jeonghan opens his mouth and closes it again, leading Jun to smile softly. "It... my coach," Jeonghan eventually whispers. "Something happened with him." A tear escapes again and rolls down his cheek.
Jun's eyes widen. "The one you like? Who used to be really great but was in an accident and became a coach instead? What was his name again..."
Jeonghan nods. "That's the one. Song Hyunjae."
Jun goes silent for a moment, but then his jaw drops and he stares back at Jeonghan. "Don't tell me you confessed and he rejected you?!"
Just as he's about to get up and wrap his arms around Jeonghan for comfort—or do something of the like, when Jeonghan speaks again. "No," he says. "It was worse... so much worse." Jun sits back down again, listening tentatively as Jeonghan climbs out of bed and sits on the floor infront of Jun, mirroring his cross-legged position before talking.
"I have a competition next week," he begins. "It was the last time he'd see my routine beforehand, and Hyunjae said he'd review it and give me tips so I could improve with my other coach. I didn't know where he went, so I went looking for him." Jeonghan pauses for a moment, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his jumper—the same one he's been wearing all day.
"He wasn't anywhere in the stands, or manning the rental, or by the vending machine, and the last place I checked was the changing rooms. I didn't know why he'd be in there, but it was like five minutes until we finished and I really wanted his feedback."
"So I went into the boy's changing rooms, right to the back where the showers are... and who do I see? My sister and my coach, all up on each other and this close to fucking right then and there." Jeonghan laughs, but it's impossible to miss the pain laced through his strained voice. "I mean, it's just cruel... isn't it?" Just then, his voice breaks and Jeonghan cuts off with a broken sob as fresh tears stream down his cheeks.
"I've liked him for so fucking long, and I-" he throws his hands up in the air. "Fuck, I don't even know anymore."
Jun, having been processing the whole story up until now, gulps and bites his lip, having no idea what to even say. But he doesn't want to say nothing, so he blurts out. "If I were you, I'd be glad." Jeonghan gives him an outraged look before he continues. "Let's face it, do you really want to be with someone who makes out with you in sweaty changing rooms? Like, you can do so much better."
It makes Jeonghan actually laugh—even if it's only for a short while. "I guess," he admits. "He didn't seem like that type of guy."
"Well," Jun shrugs, "Now you know."
With another small laugh, Jeonghan nods. "Yeah," he sighs, shoulders finally dropping and expression softening. Jun's eyes drift to outside Jeonghan's window, where the curtains are wide open but it's so dark outside that all you can see are the tiny twinkling stars that are scattered across the night sky.
"You know-" Jun starts, but when he glances over to the male beside him, Jeonghan's head has dropped back against the bed, and his eyes are shut, and his chest rises and falls steadily with slow, deep breaths.
---
a/n: I wrote this instead of revising you're welcome ☺️
thoughts?