(James's POV)
Hadaza is now two months pregnant and I am so excited to see her starting to form a baby bump. Today is a special day because today is my wives 29th birthday and I decided to get up early and make her some breakfast. I finish making breakfast then take care of my daughter while my wife sleeps needing it. "Okay princess lets go say happy birthday to mommy and no jumping on her." I say carrying her and the food up to the room. "Love?" I ask letting autumn run to the bed after I opened the door. "Momma!" Autumn says waking up her mother. "Hmmmm? What?" She asks opening her eyes and sitting up looking at me tired. "Goodmorning and happy birthday." I say setting the food on her lap. "Awwwww babe thank you." She says smiling happily and takes the food. "Your welcome. Can mommy get a kiss baby girl?" I ask picking up autumn and hold her. Autumn leans over and gives a sloppy one year old kiss to her mothers face causing us to both laugh. "Enjoy your breakfast love. We will be downstairs if you need anything." I say holding autumn and lean over to kiss my wife. "Thanks James." She says smiling and pulls away. I smile and head downstairs with Autumn and get my wives birthday gifts ready letting Autumn run around the kitchen. Twenty minutes later my wife walks down and into the kitchen with the empty dishes. "Hi love how was breakfast?" I ask setting the gift down and taking the empty dishes. "It was fine but nothing stayed down." She says sighing. "I'm sorry love. Would toast help at all?" I ask putting the dishes in the sink and hold her.
"Yeah. I'll make it though." She says walking to the toaster stepping over autumn's toys. I let her and play a game with autumn helping her put her toys away. As I finish putting away the last toy I hear my wife groan slightly. "Love you okay?" I ask walking into the kitchen with Autumn and set her in her high chair. "I'm fine just a slight cramp. Don't worry about it." She says smiling and eats her toast. I nod and cut up a banana and some strawberries for Autumn and put them in her bowl and set them in front of her. Autumn smiles and eats it happily as I go and wrap my arms around my wives waist and kiss her shoulder gently. "So what do you want to do for your birthday love?" I ask holding her. "Mmmmm I'm not sure." She says shrugging as she cleans up. "Well Oliver and Katy and my parents are coming over to have a bit of a birthday party for you today. So why don't you go get changed?" I say needing to send her upstairs so I can finish her surprise. "Okay." She says nodding and heads upstairs. I wait till she was fully gone then start making her other presents. Once I was finished I sign a card from both Autumn and I then set the gifts on the table. "Alright princess you ready for mommy's birthday party?" I ask looking at autumn who had banana all over her face causing me to laugh. "You just love to make a mess baby." I say laughing and clean her face off. Autumn just smiles and claps happily letting me. I finish cleaning her face off as my wife comes into the kitchen with smile. "Autumn can you just eat your food normally instead of putting it on your face." My wife says sighing.
Autumn just smiles and giggles as I set her on her feet and let her run around the kitchen. I watch her run around and smile and then look up at my wife who was busy doing the dishes. Autumn runs and grabs her mothers pant leg and pulls it giggling. "What princess?" She asks looking down at her. "Momma." She says making grabby hands. "Mommy can't pick you up right now princess. Mommy isn't actually suppose to be picking you up." She says going back to the dishes. "Momma." She says starting to cry wanting to be picked up. My wife just ignores her and continues her job. "Autumn wanna play with your stuffie?" I ask picking up her toy and show her. Autumn cries and walks to me and takes it calming down and sits on the floor. I let her and head over to my wife who was looking at me. "You okay love?" I ask looking at her. "I'm fine. She needs to get use to me not being able to carry her on my hip." She says as I hold her waist gently and kiss her shoulders. "I know love." I say kissing her shoulder. "Owww." She say wincing and leans over in pain. "You okay?" I ask her concerned. "Yeah. I just keep having these pains in my side and lower back." She says holding her side. "I don't know what could be the cause of it." I say taking her to the couch. "Owwww." She says stopping in pain and leans over grabbing her side tightly. "I'm going to call my mom." I say letting go of her and going to get my phone to call my mother. I grab my phone and get ready to call my mom when I hear Hadaza scream my name. "What? Hadaza what's wrong?" I ask rushing to her but stop dead in my tracks seeing my wife on the floor holding her side and blood surrounding her. "We need to go to the hospital now. Something is severely wrong." She says crying in pain. I nod and open the door seeing my mom and explain everything then take my hadaza to the hospital.
I wait for about twenty minutes after Hadaza got taken back before her doctor comes out and over to me. I see her face and know that Hadaza did have a miscarriage. "She did have a miscarriage. I am so sorry James. Do you want to see her?" She asks me. "Yes." I say nodding and head back with her and to the room my wife was in. Before I go in I turn to her doctor to ask an important question. "Since this is her first miscarriage does that decrease the chance of get pregnant again?" I ask. "It doesn't decrease her chances it just makes it a bit harder for her to conceive and gives her a slightly higher chance of having another miscarriage or going into labor early when she gets pregnant. Whenever you are ready you two can go home." She says letting me go in. I go in and my heart instantly drops seeing my wife sitting there sobbing into her hands. "Oh love. Come here." I say pulling her into my arms and hold her letting her cry. "I-I a-am s-so s-sorry J-James." She says between tears and holds me. "Shhhhhh love don't be sorry. It was not your fault. You did nothing wrong." I say calming her down and reassuring her to make sure that I'm am not mad and this is not her fault. She calms down and dries her eyes and looks at me. "Ready to go home?" I ask stroking her hair gently and look at her. "Yeah." She says nodding. I nod and leave with her texting my mother telling her what happened and to not discuss it yet. "I'm sorry your birthday started off bad but it can turn it around." I say as we get into the car. "Yeah we can I guess." She says shrugging sitting down. I sigh shutting the door on her side then climb in on my side and drive home.
We arrive home and head inside which caused Hadaza to be greeted by a surprise birthday party to cheer her up. "Happy birthday love." I say kissing her cheek softly. "Happy birthday dear." My mom says hugging her gently. "Thank you for everything guys." She says happily and hugs everyone then picks up our daughter. "Now I say lets go and open presents." I say happily heading to the kitchen with everyone and hold my wives waist gently as we walk to where I have all the presents waiting for her. "Ok Hadaza what gifts do you wanna open first?" My brother asks once she was sat down and situated Autumn on her lap. "Oliver don't pressure the poor thing." I say rubbing her back. "Well since you talked me into it. I think I'll open my parents gifts first." She says teasing him and grabs my parents present and opens them. Oliver pouts playfully and watches her open the gifts. "Wow thanks guys. This is amazing thank you." She says smiling at the gifts. "Your welcome darling." My mother says smiling and helps put her gifts that she opened then goes to open the presents that Oliver and Katy got her which she smiles and puts them with her other gifts. "Now it's time for you to open mine and autumns gifts love. "You guys didn't have to get me any gifts. You guys being my family is enough." She says smiling as I take Autumn from her. "We know dear but you deserve some. I just noticed your necklace. When did you get that?" My mother asks. "Oh I got this two months ago from James. It has the date and time Autumn was born written on her foot prints." She says gently touching the necklace. "It's beautiful. You did a great job son." My mother say patting my arm gently and takes Autumn.
"Thanks mom." I say smiling and watch my wife open her gifts from me and Autumn. "James these are amazing. Thank you so much I love them." She says smiling at her gifts I gave her. "Your welcome. The last gift was from myself and Autumn." I say kissing her. She smiles and kisses back. "Now whos hungry?" My mom asks as we both pull away. "I'm starving." My wife says putting her gifts off to the side and out of the way of the table. "Good. Katy wanna come help me." She says smiling. "Sure." She says handing Fred to Oliver while I take Autumn from my mother and hold her. My brother, nephews, daughter, my dad, myself and my wife sit and get the table ready for food. "I decided to make your favorite food. So I hope you enjoy." My mom says setting the food on the table. "Thank you." My wife says happily and sits. "Your welcome. Now eat up." She says smiling as all of us grab some food.
I set autumn in her high chair and get her food then her mine and my wife's food. "This is good mom." I say eating it. Autumn eats her food happily enjoying her food getting it over her face. "Autumn can you at least keep most of your food in your mouth please." My wife asks and cleans her up. Autumn just smiles and giggles eating again this time putting her food in her mouth. I sigh and roll my eyes eating and rub my wives side gently. We all eat and talk enjoying the company of each other and laugh at our kids and their personalities.
Once we were finished eating my wife and I clean up the empty dishes. We finish and go have a seat again with our family and continue to talk then go play with the kids for a bit while my mom and I get the cake ready for Hadaza. Once we finished we bring the cake out singing happy birthday to her and let her blow out the candles causing her to smile and giggle. She blows out her candles and I go and cut up the cake for us as everyone comes into the kitchen minus my wife and daughter. "Hey where's the birthday girl?" I ask looking at my family. "She went to put Autumn down for her nap. She'll be down in a moment." Katy says looking at me with a smile. I nod and serve everyone as my wife comes into the kitchen. "Sorry guys. I'm here. It was time for Autumns nap." She says standing next to me. "That's okay love. I saved you some cake." I say handing her a plate for me and her to share. "Oooo yum. Thanks love." She says taking it and takes a bite of the cake. "This is wonderful Oliver." She says smiling. I reach over with my fork to the piece of cake she was holding to try a bit only to have it pulled away from me. "Loooooove." I whine playfully and pout. "Get your own piece." She says looking at me hiding the smile that was slowly making its way up onto her lips. "Fine. Oooo what's that." I say pointing to the window causing her to look away as I steal a bite. "There was nothing there love." She says turning back to me confused and pouting. "Sorry guess it was a false alarm." I say smiling. "James you took a bite of my cake." She pouts playfully and looks at me. "I'm sorry love." I say kissing her nose gently causing her scrunch it up and giggle a bit. "Its okay." She says taking a bite of her cake. "Can I have another bite please." I beg and pout looking at her. She smiles and puts some on her fork and feed me the piece. I smile and take a bite of it and look at her still holding onto her waist. "Its just like your guys wedding." My mom says smiling at us. "Sorry." I say pulling away. "Don't be sorry. So do you guys plan on doing anything else after we leave?" My mom asks. "Ummmm not that I know really." I say. "I might hang out with some of my friends this weekend." My wife says shrugging setting her plate down. "Okay." My mother says. "Yeah we can't really do much when we have a one year old, but we don't mind it. We enjoy having our daughter with us and staying in." I say smiling and rub her back softly. "Well how bout this weekend you two go out for a birthday date and let us watch Autumn." My father says. "We couldn't do that to you guys. You watch Autumn enough." My wife says looking at them. "Oh please deary we love watching her. And besides you two need an adult night out." She says smiling. My wife looks up at me and shrugs. "Alright mom. You can look after Autumn on Saturday evening." I say nodding. "Yay. Ooooo I can't wait to spoil my granddaughter." She says happily. "Mom don't spoil her. She spoiled enough." My wife says laughing. "Oh hush up and let me." She says smiling. "Mom you do the same thing to Ben and Fred." Oliver adds smiling. "Hey its my job as a grandmother to spoil my grandkids and love them unconditionally." She says. "Sure mom. Sure." I say smiling and hold my wives waist gently.
We finish up what we were doing and say goodbye to everyone as they leave then start to clean up. "Love we need to talk about this morning." I say finishing up everything. "Look James I don't want to talk about it okay. That's final." She says putting the clean dishes away. "Hadaza we need to talk about this whether you like it or not." I say grabbing her waist softly. "James we are not talking about it and that's final. I'm not going to say it again. So drop it." She says getting out of my grip and heads out. "Your just to stubborn! Love you need to talk about it and you know it." I call after her causing her to come back in. "I'm stubborn!! Your the one who wont give up on talking about it." She says furious. "I at least am willing to talk about something that is traumatic to anyone and not run away from it like you do." I say back at her. "I'm not running away from it. I've come to terms with it and that's that. So stop brining it up." She yells at me. "Your hopeless." I yell back but instantly regret it. "Great add that to the list of what I already know that I am." She says leaving the room quickly and runs upstairs and slams the door shut. I sigh and look down and curse at myself. "Damn it." I say to myself and calm down then go check to see if Autumn was awake and smile small seeing her still asleep.
Once I knew Autumn was still asleep I go and find my wife. I walk into our room and see the bathroom door is closed and all I can hear is my wives sobs through the door causing my heart to drop. How could I have been so stupid and let this get to far? Sighing I make my way to the door and knock on it. "Love can I come in?" I ask waiting for a response. "Go away." Is all I get from her followed by a few more sobs.
I sigh and sit outside the door and lean against it. "I'm sorry." I say from the other side. All I hear are sobs and sniffles coming from her making me feel worse for being such an ass to her. "You are none of those things I called you. Your a wonderful wife, and mother, woman. I never intended to hurt you. Please forgive me? I hate seeing you sad and in pain." I say sighing leaning my head against the door and break down myself. I cry into my knees but stop hearing the door unlock and feel it open causing me to fall onto my back and look up seeing my wife standing there. "I'm so sorry." I say standing up quickly and look at her. She attacks me in a hug and cries holding me. I hug her and let her cry and kiss her head. "I'm sorry love for yelling. I never meant anything I say. I love you so much." I say holding her and kiss her softly. She holds me and kisses back. I rock her and kiss her hating to see her so sad and know that I did this to her today. "Shhhhhh I am so sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. I hate seeing you cry." I say sitting on the floor with her and pull her into my lap. She looks at me in tears and holds her. "I forgive you. I deserve it." She says sniffling as tears roll down her face. I smile small and kiss her face gently and hold her against me calming her down. "I will spend every moment making it up to you for what I did." I say holding her. "I hate when we fight. Normally our fights are short and don't end with me crying." She says. "I know. I hate it too. I never like fighting with you. This time it went a bit to far today and I am so sorry. You my love are not hopeless or stubborn. You are strong and beautiful." I say drying her eyes with my thumb.
She calms down and sniffles as she stops crying. I hold her gently and lay her head against my shoulder softly. She lays against me and holds me. "I love you soooooooooooooo much. I don't want you to cry because of me or anything. I know that losing our baby today was rough on both of us but gratefully affected you." I say holding her. "I guess we weren't ready for another kid." She says shrugging. "Guess not. But we can always try later on." I say rubbing her back softly. "I just don't want to wait that long. I mean I'm not getting any younger. I mean for god sakes I'm 29 today and your 30. Waiting longer just doesn't seem like the perfect time. I think we should just stick with Autumn." She says sighing. "Yes we are getting older but that can't stop us from having kids. I mean Katy and Oliver are both in their early 30's and they have two beautiful boys and a girl on the way. There is still a chance of being able to have another kid." I say rubbing her back. "Not for me. Look lets just end the conversation here. I didn't even wanna talk about it in the first place. I got work to do." She says standing up and leaves the bedroom. I watch her and sigh letting her go knowing she needs time to process what happened today so I don't bother following her or pressuring her and go to my daughter who was up from her nap. "Hi princess. Did you have a good nappy?" I ask picking her up and rock her gently.
"Dadda. Yah." She says happily and claps. "Yay. You wanna go play with your toys?" I ask. "Yah." She says happily. I smile and head downstairs to her play pen patting down her messy hair. Once we are downstairs I put her in her play pen then get in and play with her while my wife works on some house work. "Momma." My daughter says seeing her as she walks by but doesn't hear her which makes autumn start to tear up and cry. "Awwwww shhh princess don't cry mommy didn't hear you. That's all." I say rocking her softly calming her down and let her play with her toys and see my wife walk by again and see she has her headphones in so of course she didn't hear autumn. Autumn and I play for a while then I get up and get her dinner ready so she can eat and have her bath before she goes to bed. As I am cooking dinner for Autumn my wife comes in and helps me. "I'm ready." She says helping me. "Okay after autumn's bath we will talk okay?" I say letting her help me. She nods and gives Autumn her food then makes our dinner. Autumn watches us eating her food and smiles. We finish cooking and eat our food watching autumn as she eats her food and not get it on her face. Once we were all done eating I take Autumn upstairs and give her her bath then change her into her pjs and put her to bed once she said goodnight to her mother. I put her down turning the baby monitor on then make my way to the bedroom where my wife was already in bed and reading a book. "You wanted to talk." I say shutting our bedroom door and then crawl onto the bed next to her.
She close her book and puts it off to the side and sits looking at me. "I am mad that I lost our second baby before we could even getting to know the baby. I'm so upset with myself for not doing better." She says looking down. "Love this is not your fault that you lost this baby. We should've remember that the first three months are the hardest part in pregnancy. You are not at fault for this. This was telling us that we are not quite ready for a baby again but we soon might be in the future." I say rubbing her shoulder gently. "I know. But James I should've lost Autumn not this baby. First time mothers normally will lose their first baby in the first trimester. Why didn't I lose Autumn instead of this baby? Does this decreases my chances on having another kid? Did I lose it cause of my age? Was it my height? What was it? I hate that I had to lose this baby. I should've seen the signs but I didn't. God I'm an idiot." She says crying. "Love stop. Stop saying that. This has nothing to do with your age or your height. Its just that your body wasn't ready for it yet. Don't beat yourself up. I love you no matter what. I'm not mad that you lost the baby I could never be mad at you for something you can't control. Its okay to feel the way you are feeling right now." I say pulling her into me and rub her back. She just holds me and cries letting out everything she felt from today. I just hold her and kiss her head softly over and over again as I rock her.
She finally calms down after a good twenty minutes and dries her eyes. "You feel better now?" I ask her. "Yeah." She says nodding. "Good. Please don't be afraid to talk to me about anything you are feeling. I'm with you through your bad days and good days." I say holding her and lay down pulling her down with me. "Okay." She says laying down and rest her head on my chest. I smile and kiss her head and rub her back softly. "I promise this week I will make it up to you and make sure you have a better redo birthday. And I will make it up to you for yelling at you today." I say holding her. "You don't have to make up for being mean to me today. I already told you that I forgive you." She say looking at me. "I know but I want to." I say sitting up. "Okay." She says laying on her pillow.
I nod and change into my pjs then head out of the room to go make sure the house is secure and to bring up some snacks for my wife and I to eat figuring she needs some more cheering up. "Hey love I brought up something for us." I say walking in and shutting the door. "Ooooo what is it?" She asks propping herself up a bit. "I brought popcorn and I brought you your last birthday gift." I say handing her the popcorn and then crawl on the bed and smile handing her her gift. "What did you get me?" She asks looking at me then the gift. "Well open it." I say smiling. She pulls it out of the bag and takes the tissue paper off of it and tears up. "Oh my god James. I love it. This is beautiful." She says in tears and looks at the picture. I got our engagement photo enlarged and put it in a frame. We don't have any pictures of our engagement photos all we have is our wedding and our family photos of us and Autumn. "I love it. We don't have any photos from our engagement photo shoot." She says drying her eyes. "I'm glad you love it. Tomorrow we will find a spot to put it up." I say kissing her head softly and put her gift away. "I love you soooo much." I say kissing her one more time. "I love you sooooo much too." She says kissing back.
I smile and pull away and look at her seeing her hazle eyes a bit red and her cheeks puff from crying so much today. "What?" She asks looking at me confused as she takes a piece of popcorn. "You are just so beautiful to look at love. I can't get over what a beautiful woman I married two years ago." I say smiling and kiss her nose causing her to giggle and scrunch her nose up. "Mmmm I can't believe that we've been married for two years and we are coming up on our third year in two months." She says taking another piece of popcorn. "I know. It seems like only yesterday you and I bumped into each other at a bar in the UK and started talking and dancing together." I say looking at her and eat a piece of popcorn. "I know. I forgot how we met. Thinking back to it now I know what I was wearing and how my hair looked. God that was the worst outfit choice I could make." She says laughing and shakes her head. "Yeah what we're you thinking when you picked that outfit?" I say laughing. "Okay to be honest I was completely jet leg when I got there so one my internal clock was messed up and two I was already slightly intoxicated when I got dressed." She say laughing. "That explains a lot. If it makes you feel any better you looked beautiful in that outfit." I say laughing. "God I did not." She says laughing and eats a piece of popcorn. I smile and laugh with her enjoying seeing her smile and laugh. We finish are popcorn and then head to bed. I hold her as she sleeps in my arms tiredly and kiss her head then fall asleep. Tomorrow will be a better day and I will make sure of it.
(Here is chapter 25 guys. Hope you enjoy.)