Is it a goodbye?
I feel so drain .
Like am so tired.
Everyday i get up i try to see the purpose of breathing , i try to be thankful am alive but living my life am missing the part that i need to survive .
All i see is darkness.
Am screaming but no sound comes out .
Am crying but the tears won't drop
I feel my heart ache
I feel my pain turn to numbness in seconds and sometimes i wish i could feel the pain maybe i wont feel so dead that i try to seek for that pain . The blood distracts me the cuts makes me feel that am still alive .
Sleepless nights makes me nightmare free but my mind will never let me be at peace . When am up am living a nightmare when i finally go sleep am sinking in the darkness , am feeling the torture ,the pain that these demons put upon me as i close my eyes and the darkness surrounds me .
I beg and beg to be left alone but they keep dragging me to the edge where i finally got the message and jump off. As i accept the dark and be drown everything go back in balance am at peace but some people crying and calling me selfish but who helping me with my pain , who holding me as i stay up late ,who wiping away the tears and who telling me their there for me . Who is my shoulder to lean on ? Oh right its me am that person so selfish is a bad word to use am a survivor that got tired of surviving and trying to stay above and not sink to the bottom of the dark ..
Am tired ,how much times do i have to say it . For them to take me serious, guess when they lower me down . Reality will hit when its too late .....