She sat on her bed, silently. Her thoughts were exploding inside of her head.
How was it even possible that she couldn't remember one single thing about this night?!
Her heart was pounding fast as Lindsey knocked softly at the door.
“Steph, please. What's wrong? Please, talk to me. Have I done anything wrong?“, he asked and his voice sounded worried.
She didn't know what to say. She was shocked.
He opened the door slowly, made his way into the room and sat down by her side.
“Honey, please..“, he begged.
He had never seen her like that before. She didn't cry, she just sat there, her thoughts unreachable for him.
He couldn't remember how long it took for her to answer him but to him it felt like hours. He put an arm around her and stroked her back worryingly.
“Linds...“, she began and broke up.
What could she say, anyway. How could she explain to him what was going on?
“Who knew that you slept with me that night?“, she suddenly asked him.
“Well, your mother.. She..“
“My mother knew?!“, she yelled and looked at him furiously.
“Well, she definetly knew that I found you. I didn't tell her that we had sex. Just that I woke up beside you and you were unconscious.. Stevie, what's wrong? Please, tell me!“, he replied and tried to look into her eyes but she looked away from him.
“Anybody else?“, she asked.
“No, I told nobody. You know me, I might have been an asshole that time but I was secret.“
Another long pause awaited him. He was desperately worried by now. What the fuck was going on? He wanted to know so badly but he knew pushing her wouldn't help at all.
“Lindsey, I don't even know where to start...“, she began quietly.
He squeezed her tightly, so she knew it was okay.
“You asked me something downstairs, you remember?“, she asked, still not looking into his eyes. She knew, if she did, she would break down.
“What do you...“, he said.
“About why I ever slept with Henry after what happened that night and got pregnant..“
He nodded, still confused. She breathed heavily.
“Well, the truth is, I didn't. I've never slept with him again or better, if your story is true, ever...“
She looked up to him, those bright blue eyes looked so worried into hers. So confused...
She couldn't fight tears anymore. They just ran all over her face, knowing she would break his heart in just a few minutes.
“I didn't know.. I had no idea. Linds, I'm so sorry..“, she cried, shaking in his arms.
“Stevie, what are you even talking about? I mean, why are you apoligizing? You did nothing wrong.“, he said, still having no idea what she was trying to tell him.
“Linds, I..“, she knew what she said made no sense. She needed to start from the beginning.
“When I woke up in the clinic hours later, I knew I had to stop. My way of living was killing me in the end, if I'd continue like that. I went into Betty Ford a few weeks later. I went through rehab, you know that..“
He nodded eagerly.
“At the end of my rehab I found out that I was a few weeks pregnant. I was so confused, so shocked. I wanted to keep that baby. To make an end to this and start a new chapter. I knew I couldn't punish her because I wasn't able to look after myself.“, she explained, her face wet from all those tears.
“I took a break from everything and went to my parent's house. I wanted to tell Henry about it but I couldn't reach him. After weeks of searching I got the phone number of a friend of him who told me Henry died weeks ago in a motorbike accident..“, she said.
He still had no idea what she was trying to tell him, she saw it in his eyes.
„Linds, I didn't sleep with anyone else that time. And since you've said I didn't sleep with Henry..“, she went on.
All of a sudden his face freezed.
“You mean...“, he broke up.
“Yes.“
“Sara is...“
“I think so.“
He got up, his eyes were cold, so cold, so far away.
“Linds, I had no idea. I..,“, she cried.
“I have to go!“, he said rapidly and went out of the room, downstairs in the hallway.
“Linds, where are you going? We need to talk about this. Don't leave me!“, she begged, running after him.
He reached for his keys and jacket and turned to the front door. She grabbed his arm and looked at him desperately.
“I love you, Linds.“, she pleaded.
“Stevie, let me go! Please. I need some time on my own or... Or I might do something really stupid I'll regret afterwards.“, he replied coldly.
She let go of him and watched him rush out of the door into his car. She stood there, tears didn't stop dropping down her face as she watched him drive away into the rainy storm.