MONTHS AFTER MONTHS HAD PASSED and Siobhán had resorted to distancing herself from everyone. Including James Potter, who didn't handle the news of her departing very well. The dating scheme had been going on for a while and as per usual, Marlene had fallen for the Gryffindor Quidditch captain. The two returned measly kisses to each other, but not once was it a love as pure as how James felt for Siobhán.
James Potter was tired of Marlene. She always scrunched her nose at things that she thought were cute. Yet, it always reminded him of Siobhán. She lived in his mind. Her everlasting presence caved into the deepest parts of his soul. Ever since she decided to get away from his cliche he hadn't stopped reminiscing of her once.
"Dear, hand me the hair tie." Marlene pointed to the ribbon set on the dresser. James snapped out of his thoughts and lazily grabbed the ribbon. He handed the red silk to Marlene, observing how she tied it around her blonde hair.
"Thank you." she chimed while finishing her hair. He gave her a small smile as she patted his cheek. "I'll be off." she stood up and glanced back at James who was staring off into the oasis of nothing. "I have some studying to do with Alice and Mary." she sighed as James just nodded while still peering off at the wall.
Marlene walked out of the 6th year girls' dormitory and quietly shut the door behind her. James flinched at the sound and smiled in satisfaction as he was finally alone. He laid back against the sheets and rolled around. This was his one opportunity to drift off into his thoughts once more.
He started wondering who Siobhán hanged out with and how she was doing. James didn't want her to be hurting for whatever reason. The need for him to just go outside and roam the halls for her was strong and firm. His patience was killing him from the inside out. A decision was made as his patience had been used up. James grabbed his jumper and slipped it on. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he ran outside the girl's dormitory in hopes of finding Siobhán Parten and bringing her home. Home to him.
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Siobhán Parten observed Regulus Black taking a long drag of smoke from his cigarette. She watched the smoke trail off into patterns of wiggly lines that led to the pitch darkness. His cigarette bud was shriveling up into nothing but a small piece of paper. Just like her life. Despite it being her fault she just couldn't own up to the mistake. Regulus was a kind soul disregarding his sudden mission to find out everything about the dark lord, but that's the only person she had. Lily, Marlene, Alice, and Mary were always occupied and most of the time James was with them. He was attached to Marlene's side like a child and she despised it.
Nevertheless, it enraged her that James and Marlene were still doing the "fake dating scheme". Nothing would still be tied for them to continue the childish act. Siobhán had closed all ties towards the pair, so why did they continue doing this? She had no reasonable explanation. Maybe it was Marlene's sudden attraction towards the messy-haired boy, but one wouldn't know. Siobhán Parten had resorted to minimizing her thoughts about the two and continuing to focus on herself because that's where she knew she needed help.
The two had been sitting up in the astronomy tower for who knows how long. Regulus had complained about how hard it was for him after Sirius had left the house. His only coping mechanism was speaking to Siobhán and smoking a cigarette once in a while. He found peace and comfort in places where his parents couldn't reach.
"You know what's the worst part of having bloody idiots for parents?" he took another drag from his cigarette. "They want you to be the best out of everyone in this damn school. My mother always tells me I was the son Sirius couldn't be, but I hate how she always compares us both." he shook his head, strands of wavy hair falling onto his face.
"Your mother seems like a pain in the arse." she backed him up in the slander of his family. He gave her a small smirk as he tapped his cigarette bud.
"I gave them a perfect picture of myself," he told her, glancing at the older girl in front of him. "In reality, I say fuck the patriarchy and my whole bloodline." he let out a small laugh, throwing his cigarette bud on the ground and stepping on it.
"Ever since my brother left I've felt the need to escape my poor excuse of a life," he muttered, rubbing his hands together from the mid-evening breeze. "I've told you about my ideas — and I know you don't agree with them but I feel like this could take my mind off the whole family situation."
"Reggie..." she trailed off. He put a hand up and slowly put all his fingers down except his index finger. He silenced her as his finger went up to his lips. She clenched down on her jaw and let him continue to speak.
"I know I could get killed," he informed. "Does it bother me? No. I rather die than go back to my mother and father and be the "perfect son" of the House of Black." he empathized perfect son with a small curl of his middle finger and index finger.
"Regulus." she firmly voiced. He heaved out a sigh and put the loose strands of hair back where it was supposed to be. His stormy eyes pierced into hers as he turned to look at her. She quickly glanced away from him, not wanting to gaze into those conflicted gray eyes of his. "You're one of the only people I have left alongside my family. I can't lose you."
"I don't want to die but the possibilities of it happening are high," he replied brazenly. "If I die it will be for you to have a happy life with a child and a husband. Not so you can worry about the dark lord creeping up to your front door."
Siobhán furrowed her eyebrows. "Who would want to marry me?" she laughed, clapping her hands together. "I'm the mentally unstable bitch of Gryffindor who left her friends for unknown reasons. Screw marrying someone when I can live my life single and rich."
Regulus smirked down at her. "You've changed quite a lot from the Siobhán Parten I knew a year ago." he punched her on the shoulder softly. "Now you even curse, which is surprising to me considering the fact I thought of you as such a good girl."
She scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "Me? A good girl?" she fiddled with her hands. "That sounds like a fantasy where I have everything I've ever wanted." she pointed a finger at him. "Very unreal."
"Anyways, what made you leave the Gryffindor clown club?" he asked, playing with the end of his black button-up. She rubbed her temples trying to make him laugh as she thought of a reason that wasn't specific to James.
"I'm trying to come up with another reason that isn't about James, but here we are." she smiled through her sentence as Regulus rolled his eyes. "I guess it was because I was naive and hopeful, but most importantly lost. I felt like James was the one person I could rely on and it all just crumbled away when he started "dating" Marlene Mckinnon."
Regulus nodded as he tried to process her words. "So, you have feelings for Potter?" he concluded. Her eyes widened but eventually died down at the confirmation of her feelings.
"I figured it out a couple of months ago." she sheepishly smiled. "Now I'm just aware and trapped inside of my thoughts. Those thoughts consist of getting over James Potter and going on a vacation to Italy and never come back," she spoke with her hands as she tried to explain.
"If only I could come with you to Italy." he let out a laugh and shook his head. "Imagine how happy we both would be not coming back to this hell hole of a place we live in." he waved his hands into a rainbow above his head as Siobhán lit up at the idea.
"Once you graduate we can go and leave this place," she put forth, clasping her hands together. "You'll leave the toxicity which is what we call your family and I'll leave my past behind."
"I like the idea but I can't." his voice laced with disappointment. "You know my goals and how I'll go by any ends to achieve them."
She gripped onto the gold necklace that Sirius had given her. Siobhán had a habit of gripping onto things in a moment of dissatisfaction. She remembered Regulus had wished for Sirius to give her this necklace since he wasn't sure they were still friends back then, but now she just smiled at the thought. Siobhán brushed her fingers over the engraved crest as Regulus gazed down at the movement. He realized what she was wearing and smiled brightly.
"You're wearing the necklace I told Sirius to give you." he pointed out with an enthusiastic tone. She nodded and showed him the necklace with the Noble House of Black crest. "It looks lovely on you." he complimented. "Just like I expected."
"Just as you expected?" she teased. He shoved her slightly, not using any force at all. She snickered and let go of the necklace that was in her palm.
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James Potter had roamed around less than one-quarter of Hogwarts. Not once had he thought of the astronomy tower during his search for her, but he decided to finally go ahead check up there. It was his only hope for him to see her without anyone being around her. James wanted to embrace her and ask for forgiveness as he did many months ago.
Silently creeping up on the stairs, he heard voices. A soft voice that he hadn't heard in months was echoing in the hollow tower. He heard another voice, but this one sounded deeper and smooth. He tiptoed up the stairs, one eye concealed on his wand.
"Do you hear that?" a voice came from above the stairs of the astronomy tower. James halted like a deer in headlights, not wanting to attract Siobhán and the man above him.
"Hear what?" Siobhán quired, glancing around. Regulus stood up and headed down the stairs. His wand was now gripped tightly in his hand as he had it pointed in front of him. "Reggie?"
"Reggie?" James whispered, brushing his fingers against his lips. "Regulus Black..."
James hid back into the darkness of the astronomy tower as Regulus came down the steps with a cautious aura around him.
"Regulus." hissed Siobhán coming down the steps after him. The mid-evening sun was reflecting off her face as she followed the infamous Regulus Black. Her green eyes were concerned but behind them, a storm was brewing inside.
"I know I'm not the person to be saying this." he began. "But I know I'm not going crazy. I heard something — footsteps even," he informed, glancing back at her.
Siobhán heard a slight click of a shoe and immediately grabbed her wand. "I heard it." she grabbed onto Regulus's arm and shoved him slightly out of the way. He put both of his hands above in surprise, following her quickly down the steps as she had gained a sudden boost in bravery.
"Whoever is hiding come out!" she shouted. Her voice echoed once more as James just inspected the state she was in. Her hair was cut around her shoulders. He had noticed a change from the energetic and understanding girl he knew. She now even wore makeup. Eyeliner was showcased on her eyelid along with a smoky eyeshadow look. Her fingernails were painted black, rings adorned across her fingers.
"I'm not in the mood to play hide and seek." she joked, tilting her head as she looked around the area James was still hiding in. She eventually came near him and realized who she had just found.
"James Potter." she put her wand away and eyed him up and down before glancing around for Regulus. She rolled her tongue against the inside of her cheek, pacing around in a circle. "What were you trying to find coming up here?"
"You." he quickly responded. She sighed, shaking her head. "I just want to understand why we fell out the way we did."
She leaned against a pole and crossed her arms. "I don't think you ever took the hint," Siobhán muttered bitterly. "Maybe it was because I was tired of seeing you and Marlene kiss around — which I still am, but really..." she trailed off, tapping her finger against her chin. "Why are you two still doing this little circus play?"
James was surprised by the way her mannerisms had changed over the months he hadn't talked to her. She had gotten under the influence of Regulus Black who didn't sound any better than Siobhán in terms of life. He heaved out a groan and came out from the darkness.
"I feel like it would be too harsh to let go of Marlene when she seems like she's enjoying this." he wavered to speak more as Siobhán glared at him.
"Too harsh?" she clapped softly, smirking at him. "I had to let go of you and everyone else because I couldn't bear seeing you and her." she clicked her tongue. "I might be making this about myself but believe me — life gets much harsher for those who aren't so kind."
"Siobhán?" Regulus came into the area. He gazed over at James warily, making his way next to Siobhán who looked rather angry.
"Is this your way of telling me you felt the same way?" he murmured. Her eyes widened as she heard the words coming from him. Regulus had his mouth agape at the situation that was going on in front of him.
She turned her nose up high. "Yes." she firmly stated. "I guess sometimes love doesn't conquer all." she spat, clenching her fist closed.
"Your grudge against me is impeccably out of hand." he put his hands in his pockets. "Just so you know if you decide to come back..." he faltered. "I'll be here. I'll be here waiting for the Siobhán Parten I knew."
With those words, James glanced at the pair in front of him and left. He wanted to turn around and grab Siobhán into his embrace. James wanted to understand her and how she felt, but nothing would change her decision. The two had fallen for each other and in the end, one's decision would ruin everything.
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A/N
Sorry this is a day overdue. I decided to start this late yesterday and try and piece things together so it would make much more sense and I'm actually quite proud of the wording. It doesn't seem too sloppy and it's quite readable, so I think I'll start publishing every other day. Also, thank you for 1.5K views! More to come soon.