Shuichi's PoV
I stepped out into the dining hall to find Mui. No one has really seen Mui for the past few days...she just shut herself in her lab and never let anyone in. I know Kiibo is like an assistant of sorts to her, so it wasn't a surprise he was with her.
We knew she was alive. Trust me, we would have broken down the door if we weren't sure, but she just yelled at us for disturbing her every time we tried to ask what she was doing.
She was sitting at the table; she looked like she hadn't slept since we last saw her but had a shit-eating grin on her face. I knew if I didn't ask her what she made, I would receive a lecture from the oh so great and beautiful genius Mui Iruma. I sighed. It's too early for this...
"Where have you been?" I asked, taking my seat at the table.
"In my lab, duh-doy!" I regret asking... "But if you must know what I was working on...I can't tell you! Not until everyone gets here, at least. Until then, you're blessed with my presence-"
"Listen up, fuckers!" Kokichi started, pointing at us as he came out of the kitchen. "Mom's making Tenko's shit so she can't leave the kitchen because that bitch ordered something as high maintenance as her. Now, what do you want."
"Little degenerate-"
"I asked what everyone else wanted for breakfast, skank!" Tenko growled but stood down, still grumbling about men being degenerates. Everyone gave their orders, and Kokichi seemed to take a partial mental note of who wanted what. I just ordered coffee. No one dared talk to me before I got it either.
I get a bit cranky, but that's fine. I just need some caffeine, and I'll be alright, so will everyone else. Kirumi came out with a tray and placed it in front of Tenko, who had stopped grumbling and looked excited. From the looks of it, she had steamed rice, miso soup, some kind of fish, and a few other things I'm too uncultured to identify.
"I hope this is to your liking, Tenko." Tenko nodded at Kirumi and began eating.
Not incredibly long after that, everyone had what they wanted for breakfast, and Kokichi had joined us at the table to annoy us. Well, specifically me, since I didn't have food to eat and Tenko would Aikido slam him. He kept poking my face or tried to pick up my hat when I didn't give a response fast enough, so anytime he tried to talk to me.
"Shuichi!" Kokichi called, snapping me out of my daze.
"Hmm...?" I shook my head in a vain attempt to keep myself aware and awake.
"Wow, I hope you weren't up all night because of me...I left at twelve-thirty; you should have had time to sleep..." Kokichi almost looked as if he was actually pondering his own inquiry, then again, I'm marcid and haven't slept right in days. It's not just Kokichi, well...partly, but mostly just stress, monachopsis. And on top of all of that, I'm just a natural noceur.
"Eh..? Oh, no...I didn't sleep... My anxiety's kept me up for the past fifty hours..." I once again tried to drink out of my empty coffee cup. Realizing it was dry, I just pushed it away, gibbering about wanting more as I rested my head on my arms on the table.
"I can get you more if you want-"
"Oi, shitty little no dick!" Mui called.
"What do you want, whore," Kokichi seethed.
"W-whore...?" Mui whined.
"Yes, now what'd you want."
"If you could ask any question right now, what would it be?" Everyone seemed to pay a bit of attention to this, Kokichi wasn't exactly an open book, so it was rare to see him express what he wanted.
He thought for a moment before standing up. "Mom," he started. "When do I get a dad?" He tilted his head to the side innocently as he brought a finger to his chin. Kirumi, who was sweeping the floor, only roughly poked him with the end of the broomstick and continued sweeping up the fallen bits of breakfast around the table.
"No-" Mui groaned. "Fucking stupid abortion... Other than that."
Kokichi turned to Kiibo, "excuse me, engineered human being. I'm wondering if you would so happily share personal information about certain functions your creator had implanted on you. I am uninformed of A.I's and their hypothetical human-like functions, and I'm very enthusiastic about discussing the topic with you. So, if I may ask, do you have something similar to or exactly like the male reproductive organ called a penis?"
"I...I'm not sure what you asked..." Kiibo muttered, concern filling his voice.
Kokichi sighed. "I am very interested in the topic of reproductive organs on the synthetically made body that you pertain. I am voicing my curiosity and would like to obtain the information of whether or not your creator added a fucking function, courtesy of the penis," he repeated.
"I...I'm not sure if this is robophobic or not..."
"Do mechanical beings such as yourself pertain sexual organs." Kokichi deadpanned.
"What do you want from me?!"
"Do robots have dicks!"
"Yes! That question!" Mui abruptly stood up.
"As insensitive as that is, I have a feeling Mui messed with me while I was off..." Kiibo allowed his voice to fade out.
"Neh...? Wait a minute...you weren't helping her with her invention thingy she was trying to make?" Himiko questioned.
"He was; he just doesn't know it!" Mui grinned smugly, practically begging for someone to ask what she did.
Kiibo broke. "What did you do to me...?"
"I gave you a dick!"
"Hell yeah!" Kokichi cheered.
"So, he's officially a degenerate male..." Tenko scoffed.
"Congratulations on becoming more human, Kiibo." Kirumi smiled.
"I guess it can be a good thing if you look at it like that." Rantaro shrugged.
"Can I see?" Himiko asked.
"Y-" Mui tried to speak but was cut off by Kirumi.
"No," she stated firmly.
"Can I?" Korekiyo quired. "I'm genuinely curious about how one would go about making something like that, especially if that "one" is Mui."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
"Take that as you please."
"Is no one else wondering how uncomfortable that would be." Ryoma joined in.
"Atua is sure you're very familiar with that feeling!" Angie chimed in.
"No. I'm pretty sure I'm the only straight guy here." Ryoma took a sip of his coffee.
"Hey! I'm straight, Gonta, Korekiyo, Rantaro is, and so is Shuichi! That's like...every guy." Kaito cut in.
Besides the coughing, side glances, and soft mumbling Kokichi just aggressively blinked at Kaito for a second before speaking. "I'm here too."
"Everyone knows you're gay." Himiko jumped back into the conversation.
"I'm not gay! I just don't like any of the wretched hoes here!" Kokichi defended.
"You know, I was straight...but then, I slowly started to feel myself getting gayer, and now, here I am..." I was straight when I got here, I swear, now I'm bisexual, and Kaito is still dense.
"What?" Very dense...
"Let me get this straight- or rather, let me run something bi you."
"Alright." Kaito nodded. Very, very dense.
"Oh my God, Kaito-" Maki facepalmed. "He's bisexual!"
"Huh?"
"As am I." Korekiyo added.
"I haven't really put much thought in it, but I'm into dudes too." Rantaro joined.
"Gonta not know much about what is being said, but he like a boy." Gonta smiled.
"Again, I'm the only straight guy here."
"No, I'm still straight!" Kaito said.
"Yeah, yeah, we know, and Maki can probably-" Kokichi was probably going to say something but was cut off by the girl.
"I'm going to strangle you," Maki warned. It seemed more panicked rather than threatening, though.
"That doesn't change the fact that I saw you coming out of Kaito's room last night."
"Why were you up at two A.M.?!" Kokichi only shrugged.
"He's a liar; we weren't together." Kaito glanced to the side.
"But Kokichi does wander around at night..." I thought aloud.
"W-well, we weren't doing anything!" Maki screamed.
"That's a lie." Kokichi smiled with his finger under his nose.
"You're a liar!"
"I guess I'll just ignore what I heard last night then..." Kokichi shrugged, putting his hands behind his head.
"Alright!" Mui interrupted. "As much as I'd like to and how often I like to dive into everyone's sex life, I want to talk about the beginning of Kiibo's!"
"W-what?! I don't even fully grasp the concept of...that." Kiibo's face flushed.
"Guys..." Kaede started. "Someone needs to tell Kiibo about the birds and the bees..."
"Yes." Gonta nodded. "Gonta hear they disappear at an alarming rate..." Gonta said seriously.
"Scratch that, we need to tell Kiibo and Gonta about the birds and the bees..." I sighed.
"Oh, oh, I know!" Himiko held her hand up. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, they..." she paused. "They uh...I never really got past that part..."
"Alright, I have three dumbasses to teach, listen up shitheads-" Mui started but got cut off.
"The stork." Kirumi patted Himiko's head.
"I don't understand why you're lying to her about it, she's old enough to know." Rantaro rubbed the back of his neck after receiving a hard glare from Kirumi.
"No! Ging comes and leaves you with a child while he goes on his adventure, only for the child to grow up and follow in his dad's footsteps and becomes a hunter! He then goes off on a journey where he meets an assassin, an ex-clan member, and some other old man that's apparently sixteen! Then they get their hunters' license except the assassin (he killed someone and got disqualified!) He then comes home with the assassin, and your son has his first sleepover, and no one can convince me otherwise!" Tsumugi finally said something in "tribute" to the conversation.
"Parthenogenesis. Only way. Atua says so."
"They fuck!" Kokichi shouted over everyone.
"Yes, once engaged in sexual intercourse, there is a chance of pregnancy. Of course, it all depends on the male's genes." Korekiyo explained simply.
"Sex." Maki deadpanned.
"They get laid!" Mui cackled.
Rantaro sighed. "When a boy likes a girl-"
"When he's horny as fuck," Kokichi corrected.
"Sure... When...that happens, the male will...uh, put a part of himself-"
"Cum, you fucking coward!" Mui joined in correcting Rantaro.
"He will release sperm within her vaginal entrance, and the strongest sperm may fertilize her egg, and a child will be created in her," Ryoma summed up.
"No one gives a fuck about straight fucking! Tell them about gay fucking! Ooo~ Shuichi, help me demonstrate!" Kokichi looked over at me with a sly smirk.
"A-ah! M-maybe another time..." I pulled my hat over my flushed face.
"That wasn't a no~" Kokichi sang.
"Ignoring Sherlock Homo-" Mui began but got cut off by me.
"That's not my name!" I interjected with a red face.
"Right... Moving past Gayhara-"
"Shut up!"
"What's wrong? Saihorney getting upsetty spaghetti?" Mui teased.
"Maki, can you-"
"Woah, calm it, tiny dick! It was just a joke!"
"A running joke that would have lasted for years."
"Would have?" Kokichi grinned. "I'm keeping Saihorney; that's a good one." I sighed...this is my life...and these are my friends... Why...?
"Guy's I wanted to talk about Kiibo's dick!" Mui changed the topic. "You know how long I worked on that masterpiece for?! A pretty fucking long time! Do you know how many preparations had to go into the skin seeding? And Kiibo can fucking cum for fucks sake!"
"Damn...that's pretty impressive cum rag..." Kokichi admitted.
"R-really?" Mui looked genuinely shocked for a moment. I can't blame her Kokichi doesn't hand out compliments every day (unless you're me.) "I mean, of course! What else should you expect from the amazing, beautiful girl genius Mui Iruma!" And there she goes...
"Wait, Atua is speaking!" Angie clapped her hands above her head with her eyes shut. "Hmm, Atua says to get a new personality!" Angie smiled.
"H-huh!" Mui moaned as drool pooled in her mouth, spilling over and dribbling down her face.
"That's the best thing that Angie's ever said!" Kokichi grinned.
"No, no, that was Atua!" Angie corrected with her usual happy tone and smile.
"So, if I understand correctly, a boy puts his penis in a girl and...cums...inside her?" Kiibo hesitantly asked.
"Well, after a while of thrusting but yeah." Kokichi shrugged. Tenko gagged. "I guess you wouldn't be able to feel that though, I don't think I ever fucked while I wasn't horney..."
"You get "horney" because you're engaging in sexual activity, though," Korekiyo informed.
"I can feel almost all human emotions, though. So far...it's a nightmare..." Kiibo paused. "Dying also sucks butt! That's a terrifying concept and I wouldn't know how to deal with it! How do you living being cope with mortality?"
"Violent outbursts."
"General sluttiness."
"Lying about my life."
"Crying at night."
"Negh...? We're supposed to actually deal with that?"
"Ignoring my own problems by indulging too much in other people's problems because of the overwhelming satisfaction I get from it." Everyone turned to Kaede for a moment before continuing.
"I don't care, I deserve it."
"Death is a part of life and therefore beautiful. I await it with great anticipation."
"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"
"I help others in their short life span almost to the point of ignoring my own well-being."
"Atua will help me through it!"
"I run from it."
"Gonta will help bug live!"
"I don't care about death, I cause it."
"I don't think Kokichi's fucked anyone..." Tsumugi thought aloud ruining the chain, I didn't even think we were still on this topic. I also didn't know she could curse casually. "He would bottom to every guy in this room..."
"Fuck you." Kokichi bit at his thumb. Someone's getting salty...
"No, no, you've already said you don't like any of the girls here..." She continued deeper into thought. "Maybe Shuichi?" Ouch... "But he still emits less bottom energy than you, so yeah, you're a bottom no matter what." She concluded with a shrug.
"The females are awfully quiet; anyone else notice that?" Korekiyo pointed out.
"Well, I'm not really educated in this topic..." Kaede mumbled.
"Really? I thought all the girls had a gang bang last week?" Kokichi innocently put a finger to his chin as he tilted his head to the side.
"What"'s, "no"'s, "who told you that"'s, and a few other comments flew around the room before Kokichi decided to answer, "Shumai."
"What? I told you they had a sleepover."
Kokichi shrugged. "They're all sleeping together either way." I rolled my eyes at Kokichi, and they fall on Himiko. She looked confused.
"Are you alright, Himiko?" I asked with slight concern.
"I don't understand..." she muttered softly.
"About sex?" Kokichi butted in. Himiko nodded. "Easy! Remember when we were about to leave the Av room a while ago? The two people on top of each other on the screen? That's what they were doing," he said simply. Almost everyone's faces twisted into disgust when they realized Himiko actually knew what he was talking about. He wasn't lying... He really showed her porn...
"Kokichi. Explain. Five..." Kirumi started counting.
"What?"
"Four..."
"Why are you doing that...?"
"Three..."
"Why is this actually terrifying...?"
"Two and a half..."
"I didn't put it on! It was cast to the screen! I couldn't really do much about it!"
"Two- What? Who did that?" she asked.
"How am I supposed to know?!"
"My apologies." Why the hell am I surprised... "The notification to cast to the nearest device appears frequently."
"Why were you watching porn, Kiyo...?" Rantaro asked nervously.
"Strictly research."
"Just admit you were three knuckles deep in yourself and were enjoying it, you sick fuck." Mui guffawed.
"I don't believe we share the same hobbies, and I've already studied you as much as I can bear."
"Hmph, whatever," Mui huffed. "I was going to continue showing off Kiibo's dick! Starting with the fact that it's retractable! It's on the plate between his legs and will come out after pressure is put on certain parts of his body!" She's having way too much fun with this...
"How much pressure and where?" Korekiyo asked. He seems too interested in this... I'll admit that I'm curious, but I don't want to see it... Okay, so maybe I'm a bit curious about it, but I'm not going to ask! Have some respect for yourself, Korekiyo!
"I'll let you figure that out yourself. It's part of the fun~" Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one here with any sense of decency... "Not only is his fabulous dick retractable, but it also has adjustable length and air-compressable girth adjustment," Mui moaned.
"Soooo," Kokichi started.
"I'm not done~" How much did she work over the past two days...? "Synthesized skin, which I worked really hard on, allows for adjustable texture! It can also be adjusted for any size preference and can grow or shrink to simulate foreskin at all times!" Mui gave a smug grin. "Maintenance may be required..." she mumbled.
"Mui...how long have you been up...?" Kiibo questioned. She ignored him and continued.
"I'm still not done! It also can vibrate at any time! For inside and outside use! Additionally, he can cum a special liquid that recreates the pleasure of being shot inside~" She drooled. "This runes none of the risks of pregnancy!"
"Mui-" Kiibo tried again.
"This review of your dick isn't over! And do you know why? Because we haven't even gotten to his customizable liquid balls, his portable STD scanner, or his automatic tissue dispenser!" Mui threw her hands up in excitement.
"You have...so many problems..." Kiibo murmured.
"Are you finished now?" Kokichi asked.
"Even though I haven't even gotten into the kink functions, it's a work in progress, so I guess we can discuss that later." Mui shrugged.
"Can he satisfy my kink?" Rantaro asked. He was the last person I thought would use Kiibo for things like that...
"Probably not right now, but I might implement it if I think it's worth it."
"My kink is being loved and respected."
"Aww, that's boring!" Kokichi booed.
"I think-" Kiibo was most likely going to say something nice, but Mui interrupted him.
"That's too unrealistic! Settle for bondage like the rest of us." She crossed her arms.
"I think I'm going to go bother Tenko about this!" Kokichi jumped up. I was confused at first then I realized Tenko had left at some point.
"Wait!" Mui called out. "I haven't even told you about his ass!" Kokichi was gone, though.
"What did you do to my rear...?" Kiibo cautiously asked.
"I gave you an asshole by rearranging your entire lower body and putting in extra sensitive sensors there." Mui smiled like she was proud of herself. "But I had to seal it for now because I haven't figured out what would make it open and close..."
I stood up. "And that's where I take my leave." I reached and put my hand on Mui's shoulder. "Get some sleep. I'm going to carry Kokichi back." He probably got himself injured or at least in trouble.
No one said anything to me on my way out to collect Kokichi. Good thing he's light...I still don't know why he provokes Tenko of all people because he almost always gets hurt. I heard a yelp from down the hall and immediately started running before Tenko could do too much damage.
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Okay, the morality question, I want to see if people can guess who said what. A few are obvious like Korekiyo's, Kokichi's, Tenko's, Mui's, and Kaito's but I still want to know if anyone can guess them. Also, I would like to apologize just for making this chapter... I hope I didn't scare you too much...