EMMA
Feeling the vibration against my butt before I hear the beep, I grab my phone and read Gemma's message. My due date is fast approaching and she and Nadine have gone full-out baby mode, sending me multiple texts a day with all of their ideas for the shower and even more for the nursery they swear they're helping to decorate.
This particular text is about the shower guest list, which is pretty small as is. Beau doesn't have lots of family and neither do I, but there are still some questionable invites... Beck and Zoey for one.
I still have to talk to Beau about those two... they are his family after all. If he wants them there...
With a sigh, I re-read Gem's message.
Adam is the other invitation in question. Since the wedding, I haven't seen him at all. He didn't come into work the next couple of weeks and Gemma said he took a mini-vacation after the ceremony.
Mini seems to be the wrong word - he's likely used up all of his paid time off by now. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll be in again on Monday morning.
I gnaw at my lip, wondering for the millionth time if the trip had anything to do with me. Quickly sending out a confirmation - he's my friend, of course he's invited - I try to push the worries from my mind, including how Beau might react to seeing him there.
Snuggling into the large sofa we picked out for the lake house, I idly flip through a baby name book I found at one of my favorite used book shops. Thinking about the baby always calms me down, despite the fact that there's so much to be done before they get here.
To start us off, we can't seem to agree on a name. Or rather, Beau won't agree on one. No matter what I suggest, there's always something he doesn't like about it. So I bought the book, hoping it would help.
One of my hands turns the pages of the little book, the other rubs slow circles over my growing belly, pausing when I find a name I might like.
Bailey.
I bite my bottom lip, pondering the name, repeating it again and again in my mind.
Bailey. For a boy or a girl?
Dog-earring the page, I grab my highlighters from the end table and mark the name with fluorescent blue and pink.
"What do you think about Bailey?" I call over my shoulder, biting the cap of the pen.
They'd have the same initials as their daddy.
Beau is off somewhere in the house, not making much noise, but Parker is busy at the sink, scrubbing our dishes from the chicken parm I made last night. A surprise perk of taking in the guy.
"Bailey," Parker repeats, sounding the name out on his tongue. "For a girl, I guess. Not if it's a boy."
"Why not?" I mutter, forgetting I asked once Beau enters the room, hanging up his cell phone and stuffing it into his back pocket.
"Why not, what?" He asks, running a hand through his tousled hair.
"Later," I smile, leaning into his shoulder as he settles back into the sofa with me. Putting my book aside, I peer up at Beau through my lashes. "Who was that?"
"Beck." He sighs audibly, planting a kiss in my hair. "Remind me to get trash bags on the way to this party. Apparently because he forgot them, Zoey thinks I should stop."
Parker makes an odd, grunt-chuckle sound behind us but is otherwise quiet.
"They're for baby Jack." I remind Beau, still surprised he even decided to go to the party at all. "That was a long conversation just for trash bags."
"No kidding." He rolls his eyes. "He wanted to talk about the game."
"The game?" I repeat, brows furrowed. "What game? You don't even like sports."
"I know that." Beau stands, heading into the kitchen to find something to eat. Opening the fridge, he mumbles over his shoulder, "Which is exactly what I told him."
"Maybe he's just trying to get close to you," I follow, only struggling a little bit to sit atop the high stools around the kitchen island.
My belly rests atop my thighs when I sit, somehow strange and comforting at the same time.
"Or maybe he's trying to get me to give him more money." Beau turns, taking a bite of leftover pizza and raising his brows at me dubiously.
"He had a baby," I venture hesitantly, the last time Beck tried reaching out not far gone from my memory. "Maybe he's changed."
At that, Parker scoffs loudly, wiping his hands down the front of his jeans to dry them.
"People don't change." He tosses dark hair from his eyes. "Sorry for interrupting. But they don't."
"Thank you." Beau mutters, mouth full of pizza as he nods in Parker's direction.
I squint at the two of them, always outnumbering me these days. Hands fluttering around my belly, I can't help but wonder if a girl might be better... for me, at least.
"Look at the two of you," I counter, raising my hands to them. "I'd say you are the perfect example of how people can change."
Parker shrugs, coming around the island to grab his phone. Thinking I've won, I try to hide my smug smile.
But at Parker heads towards the stairs, he gives me a somber half grin.
"Maybe, Emma. But leave us alone in a room with some alcohol," He lets out a deep exhale. "And then see how much we've really changed."
The words leave me speechless, my mind reeling at his bluntness. When I turn to Beau for reassurance - surely the temptation wouldn't be as strong, would it? - he's glaring at his phone again, now muttering to himself about Zach and deadlines, brows furrowed as he types out a long message.
Gnawing at my bottom lip, I let my gaze fall to my hands.
I know alcoholism doesn't just go away. I know it will always be a struggle for Beau, I know that, I've accepted it. I'm made the decision to be there with him through it.
But the struggle lessens with time, doesn't it? If he was in a room with alcohol... the difference is that he wouldn't want to drink... right? Even if the physical craving was strong?
I shake my head quickly, sending the thoughts to the back of my brain. Using the island for support, I hop off the stool and peck his cheek before going upstairs to get ready.
***
Taking another sip of water, I squint into the bright afternoon sun. Jack's party is outside, since their apartment is apparently too small to accommodate their guests. Beneath the blazing sun, I'm not sure outside was the better option after all.
Gathered around the park, set up with picnic tables - one for gifts and one for a cake and other snacks - is a small smattering of people, chatting, fanning their necks, and wiping sweat from their foreheads. Beck is off to the side, all but ignoring Zoey. Surprisingly, Beau is with him, checking out an old car parked on the street.
Even though they're together, inspecting the same vehicle, it doesn't really seem like they're talking much.
My situation is equally as awkward. At the table with me is Zoey, her best friend, Amber, and Zoey's mother, Heather. Zoey takes after her mom, I noticed.
Heather has the same dark eyes and blonde hair, but more of a stuck-up personality. I remember Beau saying her parents never liked him and meeting her now, I'm not sure Heather's ever met someone she does like.
We haven't spoken much.
Amber on the other hand, has hardly looked up from her own phone. Not when the baby cries, not when Zoey has tried to joke, and definitely not to small talk. Some best friend she is.
I have to fight to hide the smile I get just thinking about Gemma and Nadine at my own shower.
Zoey herself is nothing like when I saw her at brunch: gone is the pregnancy glow, replaced with dull, tired eyes. Jack is latched to her hip at all times and when he isn't, he's screaming bloody murder.
I smile at the now docile infant across the table, his chubby legs kicking wildly on Zoey's lap. I wiggle my fingers at him, content when he finally smiles, quickly hiding it by shoving his face in his mom's hair.
"I'm sorry." Heather waves her hand in my face, interrupting the course of my thoughts. "Emma, was it? Could you pass me that pitcher of lemonade?"
Please, I add internally for her benefit, holding back an eye-roll.
Ignoring her rudeness, mostly because I feel bad for Zoey and the way this party is turning out, I hand the pitcher over with a smile.
"So," Heather continues, pouring herself a full glass. She glances at Zoey, gently squeezing baby Jack's leg before turning back to me. "How do you know Beck and Zoey?"
Oh, for the love of God... really?
"Um," I pull my hair into a bun atop my head, eyeing Beau some yards away. How much longer is this party?
"She's Beau's girlfriend." Zoey answers quickly, burping Jack over her shoulder with a pinched expression on her face. At that, Amber tilts her head towards me, inspecting me up and down slowly as Zoey continues. "Or, baby momma, it seems." Her eyes trail down to my full belly, a smile that doesn't seem real on her lips. "Is that right?"
The protective instinct in me pushes me to hide my belly with my arms, but instead I just nod my head.
"Yes, it is."
Seeming unimpressed, Amber picks up a call and walks a couple of feet away from the rest of us.
"How nice." Meanwhile, Heather barely hides her dissatisfaction.
"Mom, could you bring Jack to Beck?" Zoey sighs, rolling her head on her shoulders. "I swear I'm going to get a hump in my back if I don't let go of this baby once in awhile."
Heather coos, grabbing the infant and happily walking away. My eyes narrow as I watch her approach the brothers. Seeing her coming, Beau takes a few steps back, seemingly removing himself from their conversation.
My jaw clenches as I see his lips move in response to something Heather says anyways. Narrowing my eyes, I try in vain to read their lips. Struggling to stay seated, I turn back to Zoey, who is watching me with a furrowed brow.
Catching my gaze, she tries for a grin. "It's nice to see them talking again. Beau and Beck, I mean."
She looks off to the men and Heather and then back to me for approval.
I hate how she says again, like she's reminding me that she was around when I wasn't. And talking really seems too strong a word. Beau is tolerating Beck, at best.
Movement catches my eye and my mouth almost pops open in shock when Beau tips his head back in laughter. Only seconds later, Beck joins him, Heather now no where to be found. Baby Jack is in Beck's arms now, Beau leaning over to pinch a roll over his elbow.
Warmth spreads through my chest, watching Beau be happy with his family. Especially Jack. My fingers rest on my stomach.
"How's Beau doing?" Zoey asks before I can formulate a reply to her first attempt at conversation.
Barely pulling my eyes from the men - what was Beau laughing at so hard? - I cock my head to the side, dumbfounded by the woman's nerve.
Keeping my voice steady, intent on setting her straight, I answer simply. "He's great. Better than ever."
Zoey blinks once, perhaps catching the meaning behind my words, and then nods, using her fingers to rub her shoulders.
"I'm glad to hear it." She glances his way again. "With the new baby and going to see Max and everything... I was a little worried it'd be too much for him."
Her tone is nothing but kind, and yet the look in her eye is anything but. Not for the first time, suspicion courses through me as I consider the little trip she plans on taking with Beau, the whole Max situation in general, really.
Not jealous, just concerned for Beau, I lean forward, locking my eyes on hers. "So why even bring up visiting Max in the first place?"
Unfazed, Zoey simply shrugs. "Well, Emma, he is our son."
Her lips curl around the words "our son" like a delicious little secret she can't wait to share. Beneath the table, my fists clench against my thighs, my teeth grinding together in frustration.
Beau has a past and there's nothing I can do to change it. Even still...
"If that's the case," I say, keeping my tone as sweet as hers, "Then he has been your son all along. So why now?"
Zoey's brow arches just as the corner of her mouth lifts up, her head leaning towards me as she forms another snarky reply.
Before she can, we both snap our heads up at commotion brewing at the corner of the park. In sync, we jump to our feet and rush forward, but I can hardly think about Zoey anymore.
Not now that a third man has joined Beau and Beck.
An older man who looks an awful lot like the brothers glaring back at him.
you knew the past couple lovey-dovey chapters meant some serious isssh was coming, didn't you?
thanks for reading loves! I hope you liked it. reactions in the comments!! see ya there ❤️