My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long.
-Marie Antoinette
Somewhere in the city
In the dead of night, one man in his early 30s walked in a hurry while looking over his shoulder. He pulled down the black hood over his head to obscure his face properly, all the while walking and looking at once. He came to a turn and hid himself in the shadows, crouching down behind a dustbin. Eyes roaming everywhere, he spotted a thick metal rod near him. Reaching for it and gripping it tightly, he waited.
No sooner than 5 minutes later another man appeared, adjusting the strap of a bag as his head moved here and there, seemingly looking for the first man. The former stealthily got up from his hiding place as the second man moved ahead, and gripping the metal rod tightly, he hit the man's head hard. The second man dropped on the ground instantly, his eyes wide open. The first man looked troubled for a moment, then the hesitation was gone and determination took its place.
He spotted the second man's bag and opened it. Taking out various things from it, he put them all on ground, then moved the second man's unmoving body near the filthy drain. He poured some chemical he found in the dead man's bag over his head and face. With hissing noise, the chemical started to react and ruined the man's face. Twisting his face in disgust, he took a couple of steps back, still as he contemplated the consequences of his actions. Then he shook his head, reached for the bag, put all stuff back in, wiped clean the metal rod with his hood for finger prints, and walked away.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Next day
BREAKING NEWS - DELHI STYLE KILLING IN MUMBAI; COPY CAT OR KILLER ON MOVE?
An unidentified man was found dead near a gutter in a slum of East Mumbai in early hours of the day. His head was hit with a strong object and acid was used to ruin his face. Local police was already on the investigation, but an unnamed source reported us maybe the Delhi Serial killer has migrated in city and this killing was his way of kick start another innings. For over 3 months Delhi had been terrorized by a killer or a group who has the similar M.O. Delhi Police was slammed by both public and Government for their incompetency. Is the similar fate waiting for Mumbai Police also? Only time will tell.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Somewhere in the world
The same man who had proposed 'The plan' across the border nodded in his phone, then cut it and grinned maniacally. Turning to a side, he faced a room full of computers, operators, telephones, modem and wires which filled every nook and corner of the floor. He met one operator's eyes, who stopped whatever he was doing. As if on cue, the full room went silent and waited for the man to talk.
The man started speaking loudly, "I have news, from across the borders." He eyed as people started looking at each other, murmuring softly. He raised a hand and everyone fell silent.
"The Magician is dead." A collective gasp can be heard, "It's confirmed."
Several people looked shocked, some downright sad. Ignoring them all, he ranted away, "The Magician was a pioneer in our mission. His death will leave a huge hole in our work, a shoe that's hard to fill." He gave a smile, "But I have no doubt in the ability of my countrymen. I am sure, we will go ahead, successfully finish our mission. This will be the only way to honour him. Who's with me?" He bellowed.
Everyone shouted their solidarity in a chorus. The man's grin glinted, eclipsing the shine of the Sun.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Are you avoiding me Ri?
With a jolt the ACP startled, the white noise in her ear clearing as seconds past. She clenched her fist, determined to get rid of the voice in her mind. Thankfully, none in the team noticed her momentary zoning out, all listening to the Director with rapt attention as she ordered, coating it with sincerity, to finish their remaining paper works. But even the buzz around her was proving futile to successfully block the voice, and before she know what she was doing, her fingers were tearing apart the wrapper of a chocolate bar with more force than necessary, a regular stuff in her pocket nowadays.
Five pair of eyes turn to stare at her with various degree of amusement and exasperation, and Aisha shook her head.
"I will implement food ban in office if that's all it takes you to stop carrying chocolates in here." She scolded, "It's a work place."
"Where people even go to enjoy this?" Riya waved the now empty wrapper, before curling it into a ball and throwing it toward dustbin. It landed inside perfectly. At Aisha's frustrated expression she added, "No ban until this awful taste leaves my mouth."
"We all know no rule can stop you." Sameer quipped. She turned to look at him with a smirk.
"You have started to know me so well."
Arjun did his usual eye roll plus head shake thing, where he feels amused at her antics, and exasperated, but also gave up correcting her. With a glare, Aisha turned to the conversation once again, and Riya sighed internally.
The lecture cum meeting ended after a while and team mates scattered away. Chotu was hunched over a file in a corner, occasionally talking with Sameer just as Aisha stood up to move near the ACP.
"I noticed the guards outside." Aisha started, taking time to stall, but gave up almost immediately knowing it won't work, "Rahane informed you?"
"He learnt his lesson from last time." Riya muttered. At the former's curious arch of eyebrow she sighed, "Long story. Ignore."
Aisha let it pass, "How do you feel about it?"
Riya made a show of shrugging, "Well, they are not for my protection. He sent them so that when my Ex calls, or me and my team mate know anything about him, they will be the first to run." She said, "Faster it all pass, sooner I will be free."
"Do I need to worry about you sneaking off again?" The Former inquired. At the ACP's frown she explained, "After him."
"Like I said earlier," Riya started in a patronizing tone, her voice quiet, "I am done."
"The thing is, I have no idea what's going on with you." Aisha replied, arms crossed over chest as she stared down at her, "You normally do not react like rest of people. But this time, it's one step further. I have no idea what to expect."
The ACP didn't reply, and both women remained engaged in a staring contest, stopping only when the door of discussion room banged open and Sakshi entered, catching her breath. Her eyes caught Chotu and Sameer and she started talking, heading toward them as she dragged a chair to sit.
"Guys, you read today's headlines?" Without giving a chance for the duo to reply, she went on, "Our city is doomed. As if the crime rates were not high enough, this killer now starting his second innings here. Who is going to save us?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Chotu replied. Sakshi opened her mouth to reply but Aisha cut in.
"She's talking about the Delhi serial killer." At the crime journo's quick nod of head, she continued, "There has been a killing in East Mumbai yesterday, the M.O. is similar to the Delhi killer, face ruined with acid and body dumped in gutter. Everyone speculating it's the same person."
"Of course it's him." Sakshi exclaimed, "Delhi was being too difficult, public was alert and government was vigil. It was time he looked for a new place to start."
"How do we even know it's a Male?" Sameer wondered, "Maybe it's female. A Ninja." He eyed the ACP with a glint to which she smirked, keeping quiet.
"Did you even see some of the bodies he dumped? It would be too heavy for a female to carry."
"Maybe it's a group." Chotu piped in.
"Na." Sakshi shot down the theory, "Also, woman are not capable of that much cruelty."
"Then you learnt nothing by shadowing us." Sameer replied disappointed. The former was about to retort when Chotu turned to the Director.
"Will we handle the case if it's really Delhi killer?"
Aisha took a moment to reply, her answer cautious and uncertain, "Most probably not. Given the situation of this case, CBI should handle it. Or maybe NIB."
"Bad luck Sakshi. We all know how much you wanted us to catch the killer." Chotu said with a grin. The crime journo pouted.
"Maybe I will get lucky."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Somewhere in the city
The Man who had killed a person in the dead of night and ruined his face with chemicals, after dumping it near drain, paced in a small, dark room, engrossed in a thought. The room looked like a cheap hotel, a bulb hanging over his head with barely there light. An old TV ran in the background, the headlines of Delhi Serial killer repeating over and over again. The Man suddenly stopped, stared at the TV intently, the next moment he sat on the make shift bed, opening his laptop and typing something furiously.
Nearly half an hour passed and the Man sat up straight, his dark eyes glinting in the ray coming from the monitor. He had his suspicions first, but he was proven right, as usual. It also meant They were not taking him as seriously as they should. The hit-man was gone, but he was not safe yet.
There is no time to stay low and procrastinate. He needs to act and fast. It's a dangerous game he is playing, and if he is not careful enough he will get trapped in his own move.
Shutting down the laptop, he quickly packed his things lying around in the room and zipped the bag which he use for quick get-aways. He took the hoodie which was draped over a chair and moved toward door. When he will come back, he won't have much time for packing.
He needs to find a new place soon.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Arjun stood near the glass wall adjacent to coffee machine, taking sip from it and staring outside, mostly at those two 'Guards' who decided to grace them since morning. They didn't come in or talk, just stood outside. His face hardened as he noticed one of them talking to phone, surely with Rahane or whoever the hell it is in IB.
Someone stood near him and he blinked, "You know, this murderous expression should be on her face, not yours." He turned at the voice of Sameer who continued, "Nowadays you guys have switched sides. I can't tell who's who anymore."
"Well, I think I might be allergic to Rahane and IB in general." He replied, taking another glance at the guards downstairs, "Their presence feels like even as he is not here, he is here. And he is pulling all the strings."
"Are we still talking about Rahane?" Sameer tilted his head and crossed his arms. Arjun took another sip.
"I can't tell the difference, really." He answered truthfully. The senior officer grunted in response, both male lost in their own thoughts.
Out of the corner of their eyes they noticed Riya moving toward Shree's desk, saying something to which the IT expert nodded, typing something furiously and giving her print out of something after a minute or two. She asked something and in typical Shree mode, he went on full on rant, stopping only when she took out her phone and waved it in air a little, signaling a call is coming. Her relax posture of earlier changed in a flash, and she muttered something to Shree, which he complied if the fingers flying over key board is anything to go by. He said something and both of the stared at each other in disbelieve for a few second.
Then she was running.
"The hell?" Arjun said to himself, torn between run after her as usual and stop and ask Shree. He glanced at Sameer, who wordlessly took the mug from his grip and pushed him forward.
"Run."
And he did, first in his usual speed while he ran in trade mill or beach, then full on sprint when he missed her around the corner. He cursed when realized in hurry she took the stairs and descended as quickly as he could without falling flat on his face. Once he was downstairs, he saw her running through the parking lot and then outside of ETF building, the guards looking flabbergasted and going after her a few precious moments late.
"ACP Mukherjee wait!" One of them shouted. Even if she could hear, Arjun was sure she was not stopping for anyone.
They divided in three separate directions when they were half Kilometer away from ETF. He got a SMS from Sameer who gave him direction of a specific spot. He didn't even question why or how, just went with it. Answers can wait for later.
The location was a flower market which normally takes place everyday morning. It was afternoon and nobody could be seen in the scorching heat. Even the departmental store on both sides were closed, Arjun noticed as he stood near a heap of garbage which was once upon a time fresh flowers and leaves. Breathing hard, he looked everywhere for the familiar figure with long black hair, but found none. He was about to call Shree to pin her location when he saw her.
This time, he bended on his knees and panted embarrassingly loud after he reached her, the heat, questions and long run catching up with him. She stood beside him, frozen in spot, her eyes looking ahead but not really seeing anything.
He turned around to see something, or rather, someone, knowing fully well he won't see anything but did anyway. He spotted a small shop nearby and headed toward it, buying a water bottle. When he returned, she was sitting on the steps of a closed store, the roof shielding her from the glare of Sun. Her hair was free from its usual ponytail, fingers clenching and unclenching a handful of it as she breathed deep.
Gulping down half the water, he handed it to her. She looked at him strangely, like she was seeing him for the first time. Maybe she didn't notice him running after her.
He didn't ask anything, because history had taught him asking her never solved any of his doubts. The time was long gone when she would either answer him back rudely or quip something sarcastic if he asks something. If she wants to share, she would. Many time she had answered his unspoken questions. Nowadays she was being quite forthcoming without anyone interrogating her.
So he sat there with her, not expecting any answer, not asking any questions. Just sitting there in silence.
"It was him." She spoke after a long time, and he felt a relief he didn't know he was expecting, also something warm because she could have gone back in office and did this confession in front of everyone, but she chose to start here, in front of him, which meant a lot. He turned to look at her and noticed her fingers gripping a section of hair in tight grip, like drawing strength or punishing her for something. He wondered if she feels anything.
"He came to my apartment." She said after a while, making his eyes widen and lips part in surprise, "Asked me if I am avoiding him. His voice . . . sometimes it rings in my head in the middle of nowhere."
"Shree tracked him here." Arjun stated, to which she nodded. He let out a breath.
"How are you feeling?" He asked gently. She let out a humourless huff of laughter.
"Aisha asked me same thing earlier, about the guards. I said the faster it's over, the sooner I will be free." She ducked her head, "The truth is . . . " She paused, licking her lip as she went through her mind for appropriate words, "I have not thought."
He cocked his head and frowned, not getting her statement. She carried on without looking at him.
"Ever since he . . . well not died, I tried to keep my focus at one point. He died, so revenge. Turned out he didn't, so the priority changed and it was Move on. Then Rahane came with all those evidences, the focus changed to help him. I tried not to think much because then, it will be a giant mess. I tried not to feel anguish, surprise, or hatred toward him, because it was easy."
"And now it's catching up." He said aloud her unspoken words. She looked at him, the emotions raw in her dark brown eyes.
"How can it not? Just when I try to pretend he doesn't exist, that the last 4 year never happened, he contacts me. I don't need any answers or explanations from him, but every time his name comes up I wonder Why. He hacks people's phone to reach me, makes me follow him and run away when I get too close. How can I not wonder maybe Rahane was right? Maybe all those evidences were right? Maybe I was . . . " She stopped herself, looking away once again.
Arjun was never good with words, he admits it as much. Especially when she is vulnerable like this, when she is the one who asks him questions which answers he doesn't have. How can he even say anything when he has no idea about the tragedy which has fallen over her?
How can he even keep quiet when she sits beside him, her mind far away, silently punishing herself for no fault of hers?
"I have no answers for you." He admitted, to which she gave a small, rueful smile. As he spoke, she met his eyes once again, running her fingers through hair in a pattern, "I don't know what you should do, or not do, or even react in this situation. But I do one thing." He gave her a meaningful look, "Compartmentalizing never solved anything. The more you try to suppress anything, it returns with double force to turn you upside-down. Not thinking about it, sounds like a great idea at first, but soon it will catch up with you, making it hard to . . . "
"Breathe." She finished for him, casting her eyes lower somewhere. He nodded once.
"So, don't keep it in. Let it out, your frustrations, questions, anger, anything you feel. Even if you don't get any answers, let it out. Talk to others, let them in. You are not alone, you know?" He soothed his voice, "Letting people in doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong."
She smiled a little, "You remind me of someone." He grinned back and watched as she opened the water bottle and emptied it in 3 gulps. When he was sure she was somewhat okay, he stood up, brushing his pant over hips, and offered a hand for her to get up.
"Let's go back to our team mates and their curiosity."
She chuckled and took his hand, both of them heading toward ETF in a slow pace.
Their hands remained linked.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
After returning to ETF, answering questions and placating everyone, Sameer was the first to ask, "Am I the only one who sense something is missing in here?"
Aisha glanced at him, her expression carefully devoid of anything. Arjun shifted his weight from one foot to another as Riya sat still in her chair.
"Well, it looks easy enough." Aisha replied, trying to stay normal, "He wants out of country, so he keeps contacting her. He must have noticed guards today, that's why ran away."
"My apologies but that sounds like ton of Bull." Sameer said, "He could stay dead for 4 years but he can't get out of country if Riya don't help? This makes zero sense." He turned toward the ACP for any change in reaction as he went on, "How many people like Nasir are out there who helps people escape and infiltrate the country? He can't find one of them for his cause? He can't be this dumb."
"That's because he is not." Riya answered him, looking ahead, "He is making me come for him. Or maybe IB, or Government. Whoever it is he wants."
"Why?" Arjun inquired to none particular, "If he did help Haqqani, then he knows IB is after him. Even if he didn't, he faked his death. That's a serious crime and Raghu sir was after him way before this Magician thing came to light. He is a goner from both sides, why he would want Government to come after him?"
Why?
It was the only thing which rang in Riya's mind later in the night as she sat in Apocalypse and sipped her usual Scotch, unfazed by the party mood of people around or the ear blasting music. Her fingers adjusted the grip on glass every now and then, her brow knotted in question.
"Broody co-owner is a no- no for Nightclub business." Vicky appeared out of nowhere, slumping down to the stool beside her. She sipped once again, not indulging him.
"Surprised you are still here." His order appeared and he gulped down the shot at once, making a face at it before he asked. She turned toward him.
"What do you mean?"
He gave her a look, "Hey, I have eyes you know. For weeks I have seen you leaving with new guys every night."
"Every night?" She arched an eyebrow.
"Okay, not every night." He corrected, "But frequent enough. This week you are back to Nun mode. What's up with that?"
"Got bored." She answered with more animation than usual. Vicky barked a laugh.
"Then something must be wrong with you. I am going home with beautiful ladies for years and still ready for more." He shook head, looking at her seriously, "Someone serious?"
"Keep up this not so subtle interrogation and your liquor storage will take some serious hit." She threatened.
He raised hands in air, "Hey, you are free to do anything. Even burn down the club, your money."
She narrowed eyes, "Insurance money will be bigger and better."
"Exactly." He agreed whole heartedly, making her snort. He motioned the bartender for another of his usual just as Riya's phone vibrated. She moved away to a seclude corner, answering it on fourth ring.
"Will you stop accessing . . . where the hell are you?" Rahane's voice went irritated to intrigued in a matter of 3 seconds. She rolled her eyes.
"Access what?" She asked instead. He sighed, realizing he won't get any answers.
"RAW database."
"I didn't." She frowned.
"Of course you didn't." He replied smugly, "Your IT guy did."
"I didn't tell him to do because I don't need database for anything." She replied slowly, "Your IT people got his location?"
He snorted, "Right, because we were so successful last time. We didn't get who accessed remotely, Riya, that's why I called you. Even if he did it, tell him not to. I am keeping it quiet right now because you were so adamant to keep him away."
"I don't think it's him." At Rahane's frustrated noise she continued, "Still I will ask him. Satisfied?"
"Very." He mocked, and after a quick good bye, he hung up.
Leaning against the wall, Riya frowned. His IT guy, as Rahane mentioned, won't do anything like this because one, he is too busy surfing deep web and brush up on his conspiracy theories, and two, he has no interest in seasoned criminals and their profiles which is all that is in RAW database. It's not like she had him on speed dial or something, maybe she will head toward his direction tomorrow and warn him.
She stood up slowly, distancing herself from wall when she heard a group of particularly loud guys moving past her. One of them noticed him and soon they were heading toward her, leering at her and passing comments to each other. Regarding them coolly, she eyed the way she walked in, determined to walk away without making a scene because it will be a scene if she somehow get involved.
And like she predicted, exactly that happened. The comments went louder and more crass than usual and one of them made a mistake of touching her. Soon it was a group of four drunk guys who never went self- defense classes in their life, their movement messy and slow, against her, self -proclaimed ninja who enjoy beating people up more than stand and argue. She mostly remained unharmed while bruising their limbs, even breaking one of the guy's nose. One of them caught her by surprise and the next second there was a deep scratch around her collarbone.
Snarling, she turned toward him to take him down, but then Vicky's voice boomed in air, and soon bouncers cleared the area in no time. He fused over her, dragging her toward his office in the second floor, wincing as he dabbed anti septic to the area of injury while Riya remained mostly amused.
"You know I can't feel anything." She said casually.
"But I am feeling. It looks nasty Ri." He winced again, then a wicked grin crossed on his face, "You know, it looks like a hickey from afar."
"Get out." She ordered, taking the cotton dipped in anti -septic from him. He took a few step back, the grin becoming wider.
"A nice Love-bite from here." He carried on. She searched for something on his desk.
"I heard there are 12 ways to kill someone using stapler." She threatened. Vicky made a show of running, his laughter booming in the room, but he stopped near door.
"I am sending you a gift in ETF."
She blinked, "Gift?" Then frowned, "ETF?"
"You spend more time there than in your apartment."
"How do you even know where I live?"
"Magic." He answered, closing the door behind him as he went.
And boy, was this a gift !
She knew it was hers the moment she saw it. Flashy, shiny yellow thing with a long wrapper over it to scream at the world? Subtlety was never Vicky's thing.
She idly wondered if she needs to send a Thank you card as people around her in the parking lot gaped.
"What is this thing?" Shree wondered, eyes wide behind his glasses.
"This, is a beast which is called a sports car." Sameer replied.
"A thing like this even exists?" Chotu asked in awe, his fingers moving forward as if to touch it, but afraid to touch it at the same time.
"What is this gathering?" Aisha appeared out of nowhere, giving others look as they scrambled away. Her eyes glued to the Yellow car and she opened and closed her mouth a few times.
"Whose does it belong?"
"Not sure." Arjun answered, eyeing the thing with appreciation, a total contrast to Sameer's.
Riya cleared her throat and they all turned to look at her.
Sakshi was the first to figure it out, "It's yours?" She nearly shouted, in offense or surprise, none could tell.
"What is this, depression?" Sameer asked wearily, "You feeling suicidal? Only you will go ahead and buy a death trap which is poor excuse of a car."
"It's a gift actually." Riya ignored everything he said, touching the side of car as she smiled at the beauty.
"From who?" Arjun asked in a different voice which she didn't understand. She noticed the same question in everyone's eyes and smirked.
"My sugar daddy."
Sakshi looked away in embarrassment, Sameer huffed and Aisha pinched the bridge of nose in frustration.
"What would I do with you?"
Sensing the worry in her words, the ACP shook off all the levity she was feeling, "I didn't buy it. Vicky was saying he would send a gift. By the looks of it . . . " She waved her hand in air, "Gift."
"Vicky, from Apocalypse club?" Arjun inquired, to which she gave a quick nod.
"You going to give it away?" Sakshi asked.
"Are you serious?" Chotu exclaimed, "Look at this! She's beautiful."
"Boys and their toys." Aisha muttered.
"I take offense of the statement. I think its awful gift anyone can give to another person." Sameer remarked.
The rest of team bickered and Riya went back to caressing the body of car with a fond expression. She used to drive a sports car back when she lived in Hydrabad, and of course, missed it since once someone get a taste of a fast driving experience, it's impossible to settle for anything ordinary. Whatever one thinks, she is not giving it back. She might need to go looking for the Thank you card for Vicky, she mused.
Looking up her eyes met with the Second-in-Command, who stared at her with a strange expression on his face, his eyes devoid of emotion. She frowned, tilting her head to a side as she tried to figure him out. The next second, the blank expression was gone, replaced by what she realized intense anger. There was something else too, as he looked away from her and blinked, fixing his jaw. As moments passed he tried to conceal his emotions but the tight lines on his shoulder and stiff posture gave him away.
She wondered if he thinks she is being suicidal or something.
Not too long after she would realize how wrong she was.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A case arrived in ETF 3 days later, giving them much deserved break from paper works which tested their patience to the extreme. With new burst of energy the team sat for the briefing, excited to go out in the field and get the hell away from submitting reports for a few days. Maybe even weeks, if the case prove tough.
During the briefing of case, a part of Riya's mind nagged as various suspect's picture was shown to them with their total criminal biography, that she knows some of these faces. She was pretty sure she came across them during her MIA years, as she mention it in her head, but for the life of her she can't remember how. It frustrated her to no extent as she kept quiet, she hates lose threads.
It was only on the 2nd day of case, after the team called it a day and headed for their home did she remember where she saw those faces. And her blood run cold.
People who knew her, even a fraction of herself, would have been shocked when she caught the Second-in-Command outside his cabin and told him it would be better if they don't handle this case and pass it to another Department. This was the person who vehemently opposed when the Director wanted to pass that Lunatic bomb blast case to ATS, who swallowed virus pills so that it can't contaminate water dam and kill thousands. She won't call it bravery, rather her dislike for not seeing a case till the last point and satisfaction to put the guilty behind bars. Is not why they all are here?
In another time, Arjun might have asked her why. But he didn't, not in that moment.
"Do you know them?" He asked dryly, crossing arms over chest as he stared down.
"I know their faces. I know they are dangerous." She replied calmly.
"Then you know enough." He said, "Is this one of your MIA years thing?"
It was not his words which surprised her, rather his tone. He tried to come off as frustrated, someone who didn't care, but he was never the one for duality. He says what he sees. The camouflage was her department, so she realized his effort for what it was - Anger.
Suddenly she was angry herself. If there was something on his mind, he should say the damn thing. Was not he lecturing her not a few days ago about the side effects of compartmentalizing?
"What if I say yes?" It's been months since she used that tone with him, when she lowers her voice and warn him to back off, also tries to convey the seriousness into it. Right now, she needed this case to go away so she would do everything in her power to do it. It's not like she can't go to Aisha, but she is more stubborn and more pushy. If Arjun suggest her to pass the case, she would, without asking too much.
He uncrossed his arms and glared, "Then I would say I don't care. Your past is your past, none asking you, you are not opening up your heart to no one." He said, "It's a case. We need to work on it, that's why we are here. You have a problem, stay away from it."
Then he walked away, like he can't get away fast enough. Once again she recognized what it was. He actually had plenty to say to her, but he chose to deflect it, keeping quiet about the real issue. All his talks about letting people in, and he chose not to talk about what's bothering him and ran away.
For a moment she wondered maybe it was just her and not people in general.
Unable to understand him and his sudden burst of anger, she went after him. Spotting him in the same hallway where he dragged her after she nearly choked a serial killer to death, where he yelled at her of being cold to others and punishing them for no fault of theirs, she shouted, "Hey!"
He stopped at her command, fist clenching and unclenching as he stood there with his back facing her. Exhaling a deep breath, she caught up to him, moving right into his personal space. He immediately took a step back, something he never did.
"What?" He looked at her, but didn't really see her, carefully concealing his face from giving away too much except for mild irritation.
"Don't do it." She said quietly.
"Do what?"
"Hide behind the mask."
He let out a humourless laugh, "Suddenly you are Face reader or something?"
"I do it. Not you. Let's not start doing it now." She sighed, "If you have something to say, just say it."
"Funny, this advice coming from you." He mocked cruelly, taking her by surprise. Even on their worst day, even when they were out for each other's throat during her initial days in ETF, he never talked to her this way.
Something was very wrong.
"Just say it." She ordered quietly. Something snapped in him, the careful control vanishing.
"Really? You going to use this passive aggressive crap with me now?" His voice gradually rose, "Just because I didn't do something you expect me to you question what's wrong with me? How dare you?" His voice dropped suddenly in a menacing way, taking a step toward her, "How dare you expect the same courtesy from me when you didn't extend it in the first place?"
A part of her wondered why he is having this meltdown when not 3 days ago he showed incredible patience with her. But then, people around her were bound to break down someday, fed up with the half ass truths and complications and lash out at the person truly responsible for making their lives hell. That part, which loves guilt trips and self- loathing, let him shout at her and talk in that cruel tone, stood there without saying anything and take it all in.
But another part of her realized somehow she hurt him badly, and not because of her secret dual life which she carried on for one year and several months. She sinned too much, every cell of her can account for it in their truest sense. That he somehow came across them, and now repulsed by it, her, made her ashamed, so she dreaded him mentioning whatever it is that made him so angry toward her.
"Tell me, why should I even talk to you?" He went on, oblivious to her internal conflict and tight knot that was forming in her stomach with each word coming from him, "Did you come to me to talk? Or anyone here? No!" He thundered, "No, you decided to seek comfort from outsiders."
That snapped her attention, "Outsiders?" It came out barely above a whisper. He looked away, regret filling his eyes.
"I saw that mark near your neck." He explained quietly.
Now she realized that strange expression on his face near her car 3 days ago. It was Hurt.
She would have laughed if she was not so stunned at that moment. It was true, that she went on alcohol and One-night-stand spree the moment she knew her dead Boyfriend was not so dead after all. She became that Rich spoilt brat who is a regular in nightclub and exceed limit on credit cards, just what the world expects her too. But she was not that wild child who did all these just for the sake of adrenaline, not anymore, not after seeing so much in life. It was a mistake to even think those ways will help her to compartmentalize what she is feeling right now.
She didn't reply anything, but the blank expression on her face finally made him snap out of his anger. With a loud exhale of breath he slumped.
"So you are not even going to deny it." He stated in a tight voice.
"It won't help." She replied in the same tone. His eyes moved around them, as if searching for answers of his implied questions.
"I don't understand." He said after a long time, staring down at her, unknowingly making her feel inferior, "After everything we went through together, after the things we endured, the moments we shared, after all the trials and tribulations of last one year, and you still could not come to Me when you needed people most? To us?" He asked in pained voice, "What were you afraid of? Judgment? Since when any of us judged you for the way you are? We have seen you in your best and worst, stood by you no matter what, and yet you could not come to us and had to seek comfort to random strangers? Really?"
She didn't say anything in return, because why would she? Nothing he was saying was new to her. She was guilty at here, his every word was true.
"You know, some other time I would have wondered where we went wrong, but no, I won't." He said after a few moments passed, "You are at fault here, no one else. It's your inability to let people in, the people who I thought mattered to you. And it hurts you know, because I thought we had something. I thought there will be a time when you will reach out to others and embrace them. The time did arrive," He paused, sighing once again as he drew the conclusion, "but you chose not to react the way I thought. The right way. So maybe I never knew you, maybe I judged you wrong. Maybe you are just incapable of truly becoming part of us." He finished, sounding exhausted.
The one person, the only person, who stood by her when he had no idea what she was up to, never judged her for her secrets and lies, figured her out way before any of them did, trusted her when she least expected or deserved it, opened himself up and let her in despite his initial prejudices, was showing her some harsh realities tonight. They were not new, really, but her mind's brilliant power to shut down emotions also made sure she will never see these truths when she carried on her path of self- destruction. It didn't sting only because the words were coming from him, also because that resigned tone of his made her realize the first person who saw her at her lowest and encouraged her to climb out of the rabbit hole was finally giving up on her as she was a lost cause. His giving up stings.
In that moment, she gave him another reason despise her all the more when she closed the remaining space between them, clutched his collar and pulled him down. Sometime it good to react like a normal human being, like Aisha mentioned, and not cover every emotion with anger or impulsiveness, even when she had no idea what emotion she was feeling at that moment.
He was taken aback by her action, but the surprise was gone when she opened her mouth and said the words which will haunt both of them for a long time.
"So what did you hope, Boss?" She mocked, lips twisting in a bitter smirk as she looked up at him challengingly, "You said 'We', did you mean yourself or someone in the office, hmm? What did you hope for, exactly?" She repeated, taking a small step so that she was on his face, her breath ghosting over his cheeks and lips. Dropping her voice more, she carried on, "That I will come at your house, knock on your door? Seek comfort in you, and not random strangers?" Her eyes searched for something, anything, on his face other than blank emotion or anger which was increasing with each words coming out of her mouth. She knew she was really pushing him but she was past caring for it, blind in her cocktail of emotions and the injustice because he was not supposed to be the one who look at her with disgust and she was realizing it just now. Waiting for his reply for a few second and failing to get one, she started again, "Is this the part bother you most, because I went to someone else and not you? Did you hope for a day when I will let you in? Or it's night, in your dreams? When we are finally together, me in your arms, our lips about to touch . . . "
Yes, she went blind and forget about the time and place, and the person she is saying these things. The same person whose expression of hopelessness makes her mad but at the same time she is not really helping with the stupid things she is saying. But apparently, he had enough sense not to lose himself in her stupidity. She snapped out of it when his fingers roughly grabbed her wrist, the same hand which was clutching his collar. The jerky movement brought them more close if that's even possible, his black orbs boring into holes into her with unknown emotions.
She froze, really seeing for the first time just how close he was, she was. It surpassed all the time they fought and somehow blurred the line of personal spaces. The air suddenly tasted different, not of anger and betrayal and frustration arising out of wrong choice of words, but with something else. Like it was charged with electricity, like the invisible medium can sense something which these two people can't. Not yet, anyway.
His head tipped slightly, making her heart hammering away loudly. She watched his every movement like a hawk, her eyes looked like a Deer caught in headlight.
"Not. Like. This." He emphasized each word with short pauses, removing her grip from his shirt as he did. He took a step back, his fingers loosening around her wrist. She blinked once, swallowing to clear the bitterness in her mouth and failing at the same. With one last look in her direction, he turned on his heels and walked away, his footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.
Later, when she would walk aimlessly on road and not head toward Club like she did every night for past few weeks, she would realize why it stung so bad. The Man was supposed to be in Love with her. His every action, every look, every word spoke volumes of his feelings. And yet, in the end, He was also another name on the list of people who loved her, but still gave up her on her. Her family, Neel, they started it. She could blame them for their abandonment, but how can she blame him when she did nothing to help his cause? He opened his heart in best possible way but she never extended the same courtesy. He was right, how dare she demand anything from him, or anyone, when she didn't do the same thing? Things doesn't work like this, the Universe showed her again and again it won't rotate just the way it want it to. She should adjust and move accordingly.
Arjun Rawte was another person on the list, but he was the only person whom she lost, and she had no idea she had him in the first place.
The wind blew softly, as if to soothe her. To Riya, it felt like the Nature was saying the same thing her heart was telling her.
You had him. You just didn't realize.
And now it was too late.