Words 1998
TESSA.
"No mother, I'm fine. Hardin and the kids have gotten me all taken care of. There's nothing you need to worry about." I say as I unbutton my jeans. Hardin watches me carefully, looking up at me as if saying 'you need help?'
I shake my head, trying to put all of my attention into what my mother is saying. "Well Theresa, I don't think Hardin is really fit to take care of you. What if you fall and you start bleeding all over the place? What is he going to do?"
"Well, I'd hope he'd call an ambulance." I say annoyed, tugging at my pant leg with one arm. Suddenly Hardin waves my hand away, grabbing ahold of the jeans and gently tugging them down. I roll my eyes. I'm not a little kid, I don't need help getting dressed and undressed. And if I wasn't on the phone with my mother right now, I would tell him just that.
I see a small hint of a smile appear on his lips when my pants are finally off. He is making this very difficult to pay attention to my mother. "I just think you need someone like me to be there if anything happens. I'm a mother, I've taken care of kids before-"
"So has he, mother. He made my children." I say, making my annoyance clear in my tone. I haven't seen her in a very very long time. She might not sound like it now, but she actually is kind of okay with Hardin now. Ever since she married David she has lightened up a little. She just needed a bit of love.
That doesn't mean she doesn't think lowly of him still. She might be okay with him but it's definitely not okay enough for her daughter. She won't mention that anymore though, because that does nothing but push Hardin and I closer. "Oh yeah, I know. He just doesn't know how to mother you. And I know Emery isn't going to help you."
"Mother, stop. I told you not to talk about her, and I meant it." I say, getting defensive. My mother doesn't like Emery. Well, she loves her because she is her grandchild but she always has something rude to say about her. 'You should've parented her better, Theresa. She shouldn't be going out drinking every night.' She'd always say.
"I'm just saying, she won't know how to take care of you. She was never taught how." She explains, trying to make her reasoning better, but I shake my head, shutting my eyes and sighing.
"You don't know how she was taught." I say lowly, opening my eyes and Hardin is rolling his eyes, huffing out a breath as he sits on the toilet.
My mother visits few and far between ever since she judged me on my parenting. It's fine if she does it to me, she just can't help but try and fix every little flaw in everything I do, but I refuse to have Emery go through that. I refuse to have my mother discipline her because I know that Emery will then doubt herself and she won't be as confident as she is now.
Hardin stares at me while I talk to her, waiting impatiently for me to hang up so he can talk about her. I know what he'll say. He'll say something like, 'that fucking bitch. All she wants to do is make you feel worse about yourself. She needs to fuck off.' Or 'fuck your mum. I don't care if she's your mum. She can fuck off.' It almost always ends in "she can fuck off," and he might be right, but I can't just ignore her. She's at least trying.
I think the stress of me telling her I was in the hospital is what is making her 'judgeyness' so bad. I waited until I was out of the hospital so I could tell her I'm doing okay now, because I knew if I was still in the hospital she would've flown over here and would've given me help I didn't want. Mother sighs, "Theresa, I'm not trying to be rude or anything, I just want you to be cared for."
"I am, mother. I am totally fine here." I say, repeating what I said earlier. "Listen, I have to go. I need to take a shower."
"Are you sure that's safe, Theresa? Don't you still have a wound?"
"It's safe, mom." I say quickly before singing out, "Bye." I hang up with her, letting out a loud frustrated sigh.
"She needs to fuck off." Hardin huffs, getting off the toilet seat and lifting my shirt over my head. Wow, he usually has a small speech about how much of a bitch she is, but this time he left it to 'she needs to fuck off.' I begin to chuckle at how well I know Hardin, lifting my arms as he lifts my shirt over my head. "What?" He asks me gently, wrapping his arms around me to feel for my bra clasp.
"She does." I mutter and he searches for my eyes and smiles at me lovingly. I can tell he's enjoying undressing me, no matter how much he's trying to ignore it. I've realized that there's something that changes when one of us needs help with things. For example, when he has a nightmare and needs a shower.
It just seems normal— or I guess respectful— to ignore the sexual tension. I think we both realize that sex is not what we need right now, at least I don't need it. Especially with this giant wound just under my breast. I'd be too scared to try anything anyways, we both can get pretty carried away while we make love, and I could possibly get hurt. Then again, if he really wanted it...
I just think it's better if we don't even try.
Once my bra is off, he slips my panties down throwing them onto the floor. I am kind of bothered he won't use the hamper I put beside the door for these occasions. When you need to shower you are most likely going to get the floor wet, and if the clothes are on the floor...
I lean down to pick my clothes up but he grabs my shoulders and pushes me back up. "Don't." He says quietly, leaning down and picking them up himself. "What if you tore a stitch or something?"
I roll my eyes, huffing out a breath, "Hardin, please." I slouch my shoulders, walking over and turning the shower on. "I don't need your help for every single thing."
"I know but I'm worried. Let me be worried, Theresa." Suddenly a teasing smile forms onto his face and he chuckles lightly at my full name. I roll my eyes, but satisfy him with a small amused grin. That's another thing he does once I hang up with my mother. He teases me.
"Just help me get this stupid itchy patch off." I groan, sitting down on the toilet. He falls to his knees in front of me, carefully lifting one of the corners. I roll my eyes, grabbing the corner and ripping it off. The feeling of the sticker rips my skin like a bandaid but it's so quick I hardly feel it. "Fuck, Tessa. What the hell?" He looks up at me panicked and I giggle. The sticker isn't attached to my wound, so I don't get why Hardin is having such a big deal with me ripping it off of my fine healthy skin.
"Haven't you heard you have to rip a bandaid off quickly so it doesn't hurt? I kind of just did you a favor. You should be happy I made it hurt less." I feel like I'm tending to him more than he is me. It's like my pain is his pain. He probably has more pain than I do, actually.
He sighs and rests his forehead onto my knees. "I know, I just don't want you hurting anymore."
"M'fine." I reply quietly, petting his hair. "It didn't even hurt."
He lifts his head up to look at me and he smiles lightly. "Let's get you in the shower. I get to wash you this time." He says, referring to the time I helped him get over the nightmare.
"Okay, but no lingering on certain areas, Hardin." I tease, pointing at him sternly. He lifts his arms in surrender, opening the shower door for me.
As I begin to enter he wraps his arm around my waist, as slow and careful as he possibly can, I might add. He kisses my upper shoulder before whispering, "no promises."
My stomach aches with that deep feeling you get when you feel loved but also wanted, a feeling I have missed so much. I let out a hum of amusement as he pecks my ear and release me to step into the shower.
"Tell me about Emery." I ask, suddenly realizing we haven't discussed this. I hear him sigh and I turn around, watching him as he takes his jeans off in front of the shower door.
"She got detention at school today. She cursed at the teacher or some stupid shit like that. I don't get what the big deal was, but she can't keep getting detention or she'll end up like I did. Stuck. And she doesn't have someone to bail her out. I'm not a chancellor like Ken." He rants, stepping into the shower with me and grabbing a bottle of shampoo.
"I agree. Did you argue with her?" I question, and he focuses on the shampoo he's pouring into his hand and he nods slightly. I can tell he isn't proud of it.
"I did."
I sigh, "well I don't know what to do about that. I would've fought with her too." I reply honestly.
He nods his head but he seems distracted as he places his soup covered hand on my shoulder, smearing it down my arm. "Hope she isn't too upset." He says dully.
"Me too."
◉‿◉
EMERY.
"Auden stop. He isn't home." I mutter monotoned, my head pressed into the pillows.
"Why not?" Auden frowns, trying to push up my window with the small bit of muscles he has. apparently not enough to push it up.
"Because he's not, Auden. Fuck off." I lift my head, glaring at him. He gives me a huge frown.
"You don't have to be mean about it. He told me he'd play Fortnite with me."
"When did he say that?" I question, actually kind of curious. I knew they played once your twice but I'd isn't think it was a thing. I don't think I've ever seen Cole play video games.
"He said that last Friday. He said he would play as long as I wanted tonight." He whines, slouching his shoulders. He's sad? He's sad? What about me? I fucking hung out with him almost every day. And he's complaining about not being able to play some lousy shitty video game with him?
"I don't think he's going to be playing with you, Auden." I say, letting out a frustrated breath. "Now will you please go get me an orange? I'm starving."
"Why don't you get it?"
"Because I don't want to. Now go get me an orange before I tell mom and dad you got herpes." I threaten, pointing towards my door to shoo him away.
"What's that?" He questions innocently.
"Just do it!" I snap, plopping down on my bed.
I'm not going out there if I can help it.
I don't want to be in that living room. I don't want to see it, or even think about it either.
◉‿◉
𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎
Ahhh I just figured out a name for a second book!! I'm so close to being done with this book, I can't wait to start the sequel.
Also, I am been picturing Noah Centineo as Coke recently. What do you think?
Doesn't this just scream Cole's character?
Chapter sixty one: Mar. 20, 2021