~May 17,1995~
Weeks turned into months and still no sign of Ryker, we searched as much as we could. Everyone was growing tired of always being lead to a dead end. I official had lost hope, and thought I didn't bring myself to think he was dead. I believed he was out there somewhere but I couldn't keep looking any longer. Everyday I blamed myself for leaving him there, for not doing more and I let him down.
Everyday I would wake up go to my class, do homework, eat and then go out and search for him and at times I would expose myself so much just to see if I could catch my fathers attention. It had become a daily routine and it felt that I was waking up to the same day over and over.
I fell that because of this I felt different, I was lost..I felt completely empty inside. Jackson had told me I was changing in many different ways, but it wasn't too bad for him in his opinion. On the other hand Sebastian said I had grown awfully quiet and felt like I was getting too into this whole mess.
The rest would say I had lost touch with everything else, that because of this I was no longer eating or sleep properly. Theodore and the rest of the organization thought that maybe I wasn't ready to lead them just yet and because of that I decided to bottle up all my emotions. At times I blamed them for the reason why I had turned out so cold now.
But they weren't wrong either, they need someone who was strong enough, especially in situations like this. So I had to show them that I am strong enough to go through things in times like this. But behind closed doors I would let myself break down. All of this was eating me alive.
"Miss Grindelwald!", I snapped out of my thoughts and faced a very angry Umbridge. I looked around to see everyone looking around me and I was so lost of what was going on.
"Up here now!", I didn't understand why but I got up and walked to the front of the classroom. "Remember Miss Grindelwald, this will only be some sort of illusion and you are to defeat it with the riddikulus spell". In that moment I realized I was to be faced with a boggart and how humiliating is it that everyone here will see my biggest fear. I nodded and Umbridge and she opened up a box and grey smoke was coming out of the box.
Smoke filled the whole room and then I saw my siblings, they were lifeless. I looked to the other side and see my friends as well lifeless but this messed me up what if this were to actually happen. Two people appeared walking over the dead corpse, my father and Liam and all they did was laugh mockingly. That was until Liam pointed his want and shouted one of the unforgivable curse. I shut my eyes preparing for what would happened but it never came, I slowly open my eyes and in my hands was a dead baby that looked like me and in panic I dropped the baby and it vanished once it hit the floor.
"This isn't real", I shut my eyes in fear to see more than I should and I heard my fathers voice calling me back to him and I couldn't move.
"Riddikulus!", Umbridge shouted and everything disappeared into thin air. This was the most embarrassing thing that has happened and I wasn't ready to face the class or Umbridge opinions so I walked out.
~~~
Draco's POV:
Time has passed by and seeing Ashley slowly loosing her self bothered me, there's times were I just want to go up to her and just be there for her again. But she pushed me away, it bugged me because my stupid ambition for trying to prove myself to people.
Jackson would keep informed about how she was doing, and I feel like each day there's no improvement. Ashley had grown taller and had lost weight, her curves were shown more. There was no longer color on her skin, she was just pale. I wondered if she ever got some sleep because it didn't show like she had enough.
What makes me even more mad is that Ethan and the rest of her siblings don't even check up on her or try to help her. So far the only ones who are looking after her is Jackson, Sebastian, Blaise and her group of friends.
Blaise had told me that it was time for me to reach out to her. Which I wanted to so bad, before any of this happened but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Would she even forgive me or would she still hate me for the choice I made.
I was walking into Dark Art and see that Ashley was lost in her thoughts again. It started to be a daily think now, she would show up to class and zone out. I wondered what would run through her mind. Even thought she didn't look as vibrant as before I still thought about how someday she would be again.
"Malfoy stop drooling over her", Blaise nudged me and I rolled my eyes. I went back to reading my book but I couldn't help and take my eyes off her. I mean she didn't even have to try to look good, in general she was just good looking.
I remember the first time she got her, I found her really intimating. No girl has ever made me feel like that before and I thought she was such an asshole but she can be the kindest person ever if you truly let yourself know her. I know she doesn't have the best reputation ever but she isn't as bad as people make her seem.
"So are you still going to keep looking at her or are you finally going to man up and talk to her?", Blaise has been insisting for weeks to just talk to her.
"Well it's not that easy", I don't think now was a best time to go up to her but then again when will I ever do it. I knew I would just be putting off because I'm scared of getting turned down.
"Well if you don't do it now then when?", raising his hand up in the air. I quickly put them down not trying to get anyone's attention.
"Fine! Tonight, I'll go and talk to her", he started to make a little victory dance showing that he was glad I was finally making a move. I couldn't help it and laugh at little for getting back to work.
"Ready for the game on Friday?", I asked Blaise hoping he would agree with me to practice today and tomorrow before the game.
"Let me guess you want to practice", and yep he read my mind, I nodded in agreement and he chuckled.
"Fine meet me after school at the field", we both went back to work and a couple minutes later Umbridge went over a lesson about boggarts and how today we were to face one.
Ashley was called in first but she was still zoned out and she snapped out of it once Umbridge yelled out her name. She quickly stood up and went to the front of the class but she looked so lost to what we were doing. Umbridge went to open a box and smoke started to come out of it, nobody really knew the true form of a boggart and I wasn't sure if this smoke was her fear.
But then the whole scene changed into a very disturbing situation, all of her siblings and friends were scattered around on the floor...dead. Her father and brother stood in front of her mocking her and she just froze. In her hands there was a lifeless baby and everyone gasped when she dropped it. But even then Ashley still hadn't realized that this was just her fear and it just seemed to real. Umbridge defeated the boggart since Ashley wasn't doing anything and once she realized she walked out of the classroom.
Nobody dared to say anything not even Umbridge, instead she called on someone else to go up. One by one everyone started to face their fears.
~~~
Ashley's POV
I'm walking down the cold empty hallways, I decided to skip dinner and head to Hogsmed alone. The night is foggy and cold, it somewhat matched my gloomy mood lately.
Im walking across the wet grass and I take a deep breath trying to enjoy this moment alone. I walk outside the walls of Hogwarts and stay on the trail to Hogsmed, thought it was awfully dark and quiet.
I reached the village and it was just full of life, people walking into shops and kids running around. People were going about their night without a care in the world. I kept walking around some more and stopped by at The three Broomsticks, I walk in and I see the trio and the twins. Great the least people I would rather see.
Instead I walked out and went to HoneyDukes instead, "Wait up!", I internal groaned because now the twins were going to follow me around. So much for having some time alone. They both ran towards me and stopped in front of me trying to catch their breath. "Can I help..you?", I said in a very irritating tone hoping they would get the idea and leave.
"We saw you were alone and thought it was nice to keep you some company". I let out a groan these two people were frustrating me. "Who are you?!", I yelled out in frustration.
"We are the twins", they both said at the same time. I really wanted to pull out some of my hairs in frustration. "Yes I know that! But I can't tell you guys apart", this made both boy laugh.
"You two are impossible", I continued walking towards the candy shop and both boys followed me inside making fun of me for not being able to tell them apart.
"You know Ash if you were to take your time and know us better than maybe you can tell us apart then", one of the twin said giving me a sympathetic smile.
"Okay fine then", I rolled my eyes and kept looking through the aisle of candy. "We are very lucky you know", the other twin pushed past me. I looked up at him and gave him a questionable look.
"Well we are lucky to be pure bloods if not you wouldn't even be talking to us", the boy said in a very sarcastic tone. Only then I finally realized who was who.
"Got it! Your Fred", I stood up to him very confidently about my answer. He nodded at me telling me I was right.
"You are George because you have more sympathy than your brother", and George smiled. Though I don't know why they both always dressed so alike. I think this made it even more confusing.
"You see how hard was it?", Fred snickered
"Oh please give me a break", I put my hands up in surrender and we all laughed. The three of us continued to look around to find more candy. I ended up paying for their candy too, I was feeling generous and I liked that they were keeping me company. It's been awhile since anyone got me to laugh and these two didn't even have to try so hard.
We walked around the village a little longer, these two were going around pranking people and I all I could do was sit back and enjoy the scene unfold. We walked back to Hogwarts and they were talking about the whole thing with Umbridge, how tomorrow was her last day teach and Dumbledore would come back now. We also talked about each other future, the boys wanted to put up a shop of pranks. We were so into the conversation that we felt we got to Hogwarts so quickly.
"Alright it's passed curfew so we gotta make a run up to our dorms". We ran across the courtyard as quietly as we could but the candy in our bags were shaking all over the place.
We ran passed the library and turned a couple corners and down the hallways, we made it outside my common room. "Thank you guys for tonight I had fun. Also just because you guys are pure bloods doesn't mean that the only reason I'm talking to you guys, I think you two are cool in general", I smiled at both boy and they were both stares at me in awe.
Both boys came to hug me, "it's fine we know we are cool and plus we also know your just trying to live up to your fathers expectations". George shrugged his shoulders nervous of not knowing how I would take his comment.
"Plus I think your so much better than to live up to the ideology, times are changing Ash". Fred now pressing his lips together. I know they were right times are different now and maybe they were right.
"Goodnight boys", I gave them both a kiss on the cheeks and they went completely red. I chuckled at their react and went inside.
I walk inside and Pansy is sleeping on the couch, I've notice that since we've stopped talking she avoids me and was now spending her time here. I felt bad and I really missed her but how was I supposed to be the one to bring it up. Maybe I should try talking to her tomorrow.
I went up the stairs and walked inside the room, I walked over to my bed and slumped over. I was too tired to change into my pjs and I slowly started to fall asleep. I heard the door open and I didn't want to look up maybe it was just Pansy or Jackson.
Someone was tapping on my leg trying to get my attention. I lifted up my leg and kicked someone and that person groaned, "Jackson get out I'm trying to sleep". But I never got an answer instead this person kept tapping and I was getting annoyed so I look towards my leg and see Draco. I face planted on my pillow and let out a long groan.
Why is he even here and why now when I'm trying to get some sleep. "What do you want malfoy" I muttered on the pillow.
"To talk or at least just listen to me please", I raised a thumbs up for him to continue. I was too tired to even reply to him.
"Look I know you hate me for the whole squad thing and what not, but I just can't stand it anymore. Potter always has his ways to get more fame and it's irritating and...". I raise my hand for him to stop I didn't want to hear his little rant anymore.
"Sorry, but I just didn't think I would lose you because of this. I just want you know that I've missed you and I've tried to talk to you but I just didn't know how to do it. I don't want to go another day without you". I turned around and looked up at the ceiling, I need to talk to him and clear things out with him. I just needed to bring myself to face him.
"Draco I was actually going to talk to you the night when I got the panic attack and then I was planning to talk to you after but a lot of things got in the way". I wanted to leave out the part of my feelings towards Ryker but I think that Draco deserves to know the full truth.
I sighed and I looked at him, but he now looked worried and I looked back down to my hands. "You deserve the truth, and the truth is that I still have feelings for Ryker. I know I shouldn't but they are still there and I don't know why. Now he's gone and it's just overwhelming. I know we never really made anything official but I think it's best to just be straight up with you". I look up at him and he looked hurt but he stood up and his back was now facing me , trying to stop me from seeing is pain.
"I'm sorry, but I did feel something for you so don't think this is on you. I take the blame for my actions and not being able... I just..was scared". He turned around to look at me, his face was red and eyes were full of hurt and regret. "Why can't you love me back?, I still have feelings for you", he whispered into my ear.
"Because if I love someone I end up losing a lot in the end... I lost Ryker, Eden, my mother and sister. I don't want to lose anymore". I started to play with my mother's ring trying to stop myself from crying.
"But you haven't lost me or your friend, especially your other siblings...or does this have to do with what happened in class today?". I hide my face in my hands, that was really embarrassing. I'm know you be the feared one, not the one who fears.
I felt his hands reach my face and pull me up to look at him, "it's okay for you to feel emotions, but it's not okay for you to hide it". I laughed sarcastically because he doesn't know how it feels to be in my place.
" I just want to sleep already". I pull away from his hands and rest my head on the pillow, and pulling the covers over me. "Goodnight" his soft voice filled up the room with a warm feeling, until he closed the door it was back to cold again.
I lay there thinking about everything, but I'm not sure what to do if I'm faced with my father again especially Liam.
Raven had mentioned to me how Liam was trying to be just like father or maybe even top him off. He already seems to have people who follow him, but now he just needs to get rid of us. Liam knows that someone else will take place but he isn't sure who.
~~~
Draco POV:
I walked out from Ashley's room and I was a bit frustrated.. no I'm mad that she went running back to Ryker, when we were still having a pending relationship.
But that feeling of madness goes away, I can't bring myself to hate her. There will always be someone who you will never hate no matter how much damage they do to you.
It breaks my heart to see how she was then and now, the only times I could tell she felt something was when her nose and eyebrows got red. Either she had cried or was mad, but only then was also the time color ever came to her skin and would slowly turn pale. I thought it was cute then when she would get mad and this would cause her nose and eyebrows to get red, but now that this only happens because she's sad...well I just wish I could take her place so she doesn't have to feel the sadness.
It kills me to see her like this, this isn't her. What happened to the girl who was full of life and she I know she had some things going on then, but it didn't have this much affect on her like now.
That girl I fell in love with is...gone.
But I'm not giving up now, I will still fight to her. Ryker is gone and it's selfish for me to do but I gotta get her back. Of course I would let her process this whole thing and I will stand by her side. For now I just needed to start over and I'm going to ask her to come to my game and after that go to Hogsmed with friends and celebrate her birthday. I wasn't sure what to give her, but I would come up with something soon.