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b l i n k
noun : an act of shutting and opening the eyes quickly.
IT WAS AN unwritten agreement that we decided to play the role of a stranger who met with another stranger in the bar instead of a fan met with her idol.
Jungkook drank all his scotch and turned back to me giving me an assurance smile as if it talked to me that it is okay to tell him, he will not hurt me in any way, he will not tell a soul about it. He will be just there, listening to me.
"So, why are you here, Chaeyoung?"
And I took the bait.
"To give a surprise to supposed-to-be the love of my life." The man in front of me raised his eyebrow and I sighed, "I know, sounds ridiculous."
He shook his head, "no, it's not funny at all, I was just surprised. Please continue?"
Honestly, I cannot wrap my head around the idea that Jeon Jungkook, a member of BTS, the worldwide famous boyband, was here talking with me like a quick brush. Glanced to my right where he sits, he is still looking at me anticipating listening to my story and I cannot ignore that.
With that I continued as he wished, "the name is Cha Minho, my best friend since we were high school along with my others four friends, two boys and two girls if you are curious, basically, we are a lifetime friend but," I stopped in midway, emptying my cocktail then let out a sigh, "it was different between me and Minho, it always has been. We were dating back then in high school, but it ended just right when it started."
Jungkook blew out a small whistle, "that's tough. Why though?"
"Because I was just a teenager and back then the most handsome guy in the school actually liked me and yes, that handsome guy was also my ex and long after that, I dated Minho. It was a mess." I shook my head at the thought of how messy it was in high school and about to take another sip of my drink just to find it was already empty.
I took a second to another gin and tonic and then Jungkook allowed himself to react to my story.
"So, you are telling me, you dated this handsome guy before you dated Cha Minho and why you ended the relationship again–" his voice faded in the midway and then his eyes grew wider as if he was realising something and I assumed he knew exactly what happened, "–the handsome guy asked you to get together again, wasn't he?"
I nodded my head and muttered a quick thanks to the same bartender, who did not dare to see Jungkook's face. God knows he might find me a horrible person. Seeing me did not react any further, he threw another question.
"Was the handsome guy didn't knowing you were with someone else at the moment? Or is he just one of those assholes who didn't care about anything but themselves?"
I chuckled at his reaction, "okay calm down Sherlock, at that moment nobody knew I was together with Minho except my other friends, the four people I mentioned earlier."
"Are you ashamed that you are together with Cha Minho?"
"What?! Of course not!" I cried out loud and straightened my back, "I just don't share okay? I don't like to brag about who is my boyfriend or what I'm eating for dinner."
"And here we are, you are telling me your story." He laughed by his own mark, grinning wide as his cheeks became puff like a cheese ball. Before I could defend that it was all his idea, he beat me and said, "I know that I asked for it, so please, continue?"
Turning to face him, I stared his face for couple seconds before sighed and leaning on my chair, "the handsome guy didn't know that I was with someone else, it was too fast, I was in trouble with this handsome guy before we broke up and the one who listened to my story was Minho, then Minho caught feeling for me while I was still dating this handsome guy, once I broke up–"
"Cha Minho stepped in?" He finished my part of the story as I nodded in approval, Jungkook shook his head in amused, "damn this Cha Minho knew how to catch, but it ashamed it didn't last long because you still have feelings with this handsome guy I assumed?" All I could do was nod my head, "and it takes the handsome guy to ask you to get back together and leave Cha Minho, your best friend who loves you unconditionally and left him in the dark?"
"Correction, loved and ouch, that harsh!" I put my palm on my chest while making a pained face, Jungkook cracked into a grin that I liked so much, "actually he knew that I didn't get over the handsome guy that time, he was furious and probably hated me that time. When my friends found out that I broke up with Minho just because I thought the handsome guy will get back together with me again."
Jungkook put his hand in mid-air, his face changed into surprise and emphasized, "you thought? What do you mean by that?"
I licked my dry lips then shrugged, "the handsome guy and I didn't get back together..."
"Oh my God," Jungkook smiled as if he was entertained by my teenage life, "it was awful Chaeyoung."
"Yeah, even I thought it was a karma to hurt Minho." I told him with a pathetic lips line crossed my face.
Both of us did not say anything, instead my mind threw back to the day I ended things with Minho, it was harsh and insensitive of me. I was thinking if it was a punishment to let down when what he ever did was nothing but love me. I closed my eyes and drank my gin and tonic. While in the middle of this silence, Jungkook ordered another drink, different from before he did not order scotch anymore, instead he ordered rum and coke. Maybe he wanted to take it easy tonight especially when I took a guest, he enjoyed this story of mine.
Once his rum and coke settled in front of him, exchanged quick thanks to the bartender just like I did and took a sip of his new drink. Jungkook eyes under that hairs falling down like dominoes staring right into mine. I could not help but throw a quick smile and he was continuing his curious cat saga on me.
"Let's just say you did screw this whole thing with Cha Minho, you guys practically was a friend before partner, right?" I nodded firmly and I made this indistinctly get stabbed by his true words' kind of face, "how you two managed to get back to being friends?"
I blinked. That was a long story to tell, I wondered if I started to tell him the journey, we might need more than just two or three drinks in a bar. But while hesitated to tell Jungkook that side of the story, I glanced up to his eyes full of anticipation and just like that I surrendered by his deep, clear, jet black eyes.
"Well," I started as I straightened up my back again, "it was tough to get his forgiveness when he knew that I only broke his heart just because I liked the handsome guy."
"Damn, that handsome guy really that nice?"
"Actually, not really, he was a brat but romantic, I know it doesn't make any sense. But Rey was typical high school brat boys, honestly, I don't know who he was, Rey was the one who greeted me first since he was transferred to my school from my junior high's school friend," I sighed once I realised all I did was rumbling then I gave Jungkook an apologize look, "sorry, it sounds confusing because I'm rambling."
The oh-so-called stranger beside me just shook his head, "no, I get what you're telling me. So, this handsome guy named Rey, right? He was a transfer student from your junior high friend's school, and he was the one who made a move first?"
I blinked and was surprised. He caught up with my complicated story and that was admirable. Gawkily, I nodded my head and continued, "I have no idea who Rey is, all I know he was transferred. Turned out my junior high friend talked about me a lot back then and he was curious who the hell Roseanne Park is after that we are getting to know each other. People talked apparently and most of them warned me of the idea of Rey which is funny because when Rey is only with me, he was different from what people said and next thing I know, we were together."
Jungkook took a sip of his rum and coke then continued, "and I assumed, Rey was exactly what people said? And you just swoon at his charm and the idea of a bad boy in love with a good girl?"
I smirked, "oh? Does I look like a typical good girl, Jungkook?"
The guy beside me became awkward and waved his hands, "I'm not offending you or something I swear it just you look like a girl who knows what she wants and eyes on the price, you know."
I laughed, he was so charming. I wondered if everyone actually knew how easy and friendly the youngest member of the famous boy band was in the world for over decade now. People would die to be in the same spot as I am right now.
We back to the silence and it was comfortable and for one second I forgot that I am here in this bar try to drink away my sadness but look now, here I am having a major throwback with Jungkook and I surprised that I remembered every bits of my high school life especially the one where Minho in it.
Are we really not meant to be?
After all those years I told him that I am a believer of soulmate and I thought I knew who the one is? Was that a joke to him? Or maybe he simply just felt love because I was too damn cowardice to face him and hell, I could not even say I love him all these years.
"Does that mean Cha Minho has been on your side all along in high school?" Jungkook asked without warning, I turned to face him with a hum, then proceeded to nod, he continued. "Then why are you not fixing it? You know, your relationship with Cha Minho and actually getting back together?"
"I want to but back then it was a giant mess between me, Minho and Rey. I was too in love with the idea of Rey and me getting back together and blind about Minho's feelings for me. At the end, I was hurt by Rey and Minho hurt by me."
I looked down to my almost empty gin and tonic and played with the tissue under the cocktail glass. It still hurt to remember that it was all me, I was the one who messed it up.
"You know, it's okay to cry if you want." Jungkook said right beside me.
When I snapped my head to look at him, his face only inches away from mine, eyes locking to each other and breath was taken away. His soft, reassurance smile, his twinkling jet-black clear eyes and black hairs falling into place like dominoes. Then my eyes dropped to his pinkish lips and my stomach knots deliciously, I wondered if this was all just a dream to me. I snapped out, turned away from his face as I could feel my face in a red flush.
"I will not cry, it was a long time ago, it didn't hurt me that much anymore." I lied and finished my second glass of gin and tonic. After that I shook my head and tried to continue where we left, "I was ashamed of what I created and I couldn't even face Minho, we were in no talk terms for almost three months my friends, they were furious with me, but I couldn't do anything to it. I was just a teenager, and what do I know about fixing a broken heart?"
Jungkook chuckled and leaned back on his chair, his hands intertwined with each other on the counter, in front of his half empty rum and coke.
"I want to say that even if you are at such a young age, there is always a way to fix a thing but who am I kidding, back then I was too caught up being an idol and I have no clue about lov–" Our conversion was interrupted by Jungkook's notification from his phone on the counter. He gave me a wait a second and read whatever on the phone then he sighed and put his phone in his pocket.
"Sorry, they need me in the studio right now..."
There was a part of me disappointed by his news but another part of me won and gave him a smile since it was nice having someone to talk with and I did not ask for more anyway. "It's okay, you can go."
"How are you going to get back later?" He asked.
"Um, I don't know a taxi maybe? Or I'll just walk sober up and my hotel is not far from here too, please, you don't have to worry about me."
He chuckled then got up from his place, "sorry that I cut our conversation, the drinks will be on me, so don't worry about it."
"No, please don't, I can pay for myself, Jungkook. Don't be too nice to me." I insisted but Jungkook was stubborn just like what I knew from the screen when I was still active to watch and follow him as his fans.
"Nonsense, it's my thank you since you are nice to me and talk to me and not sell my location, remember?"
All I could do was sigh in defeat and nod in sign that I surrendered.
"I hope your heart is less hurt than before since you talked about it to someone, I'm sorry I couldn't help you much." He said.
I told him quickly it was fine then the man exchanged another good night with me and left the bar, leaving me alone again in this bar with a broken heart.