I'm back! So this chapter is a game-changer, for more reasons than one😏
No GIFs this time, I'm drowned with work and would rather focus on writing the best chapters, than hunting down and editing appropriate GIFs :(
Song of the Chapter: Ae Zindagi Gale Lagaale, Dear Zindagi🌟
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Loud EDM was bursting through the speakers, drowning in the hustle and hustle of the many guests at Nirvaan Malik's customary house party.
Sid, Nirvaan and Rhea were busy socialising with any and everyone who approached them, the outgoing bunch that they were, while Abir was looking for a seemingly missing Lavanya.
"Ana? Ana! Thank god I found someone, I have no idea who half these people are. Do they even go to St. T's?"
He cried in exasperation, making Ayaana chuckle as she shrugged.
She knew how house parties worked, eventually word got out and every teenager in the area would crash the event.
She, like everytime, would find a quiet corner where she could be alone, or with one of her close friends.
"Lav's in the balcony."
Ayaana said with a teasing smile, making Abir falter in his sentence.
"How do you know I-anyway, no she isn't. I checked."
He replied with a defeated expression, Ana giving him a pacifying smile.
"I meant Myra's balcony. Not the main one. She wanted space."
She explained, as Abir looked at her thoughtfully, before nodding absent-mindedly and leaving, but not before muttering a quick 'thanks'.
Lavanya was usually socialising too, she was the most extroverted out of all of them, with a penchant for forming new friendships quickly, and she needed space?
"Match-making as always?"
A voice called out from behind Ayaana, startling her, before she smiled widely and walked over to Shivaansh for a big hug.
"Why didn't you come sooner, Bhai?"
She asked with a small smile as she released him from the hug, which turned into a frown as she watched a guilty expression form on his face.
She shouldn't have said anything.
"Hey! You're not making me feel bad, okay? You're my little sister, you've a right to question me."
Shiv immediately said to her, noticing her frown, making her smile once again.
He was one of the only people who could tell exactly what went through her mind, sometimes even before she could.
"I've been having back-to-back meetings today, because I had to reschedule a lot of them to come visit you guys, na? But now I'm totally free for tonight and tomorrow! So this time I'll make sure none of you idiots wake up with hangovers."
He explained, making her chuckle as she nodded.
"Look who's finally here!"
Neil called out with a smirk as he greeted his brother, making both Ayaana and Shiv look at him in amusement.
"And look who's trying to copy the big brother? You have a meeting with Forbes later or what?"
Shiv replied back with equal snark, pointing at Neil in a suit and tie, as Ayaana giggled at the cheeky smile on Neil's face.
"I think it looks nice. Especially the tie."
She commented with a grin, making Neil shake his head with a smile as Shiv watched the exchange with his eyebrows raised and an amused expression.
"Where's the birthday boy, man? Came all the way with a huge-ass gift in my car, and he can't even greet me at the door?"
He said good naturedly, while Neil and Ayaana smiled at him.
"He's just talking to everyone, birthday wishes and all, doesn't have his phone either. I'll find him for you, wait."
She explained to Shiv, who nodded with a smile before she set out to find him, and the others too. They'd been wanting to meet Shiv Bhai since the morning.
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A cold burst of air conditioning entering through an opening door told Lavanya that she was no longer by herself as she stood against the railing of Myra's balcony.
"You're not dancing or making the party rounds."
Abir spoke, wording it more as a statement than an inquiry.
"Nope, I'm not."
Lav replied, pursing her lips as she still looked straight up at the sky.
"You're never alone at a party, Lav. What's wrong?"
Abir asked with a sigh, having abandoned his plan of sounding unconcerned and cold.
"I just felt like it, Bir. Nothing's wrong. I don't have to be the bubbly party girl all the time, you know?"
She replied, shaking her head with an indifferent expression, as Abir gritted his teeth.
He could deal with her freezing him out, but he did not deserve being talked to this way. He didn't, and he knew it.
"If you say so."
He said grimly, before turning around to leave. He could have an attitude too.
"Do you know Devina?"
Lavanya blurted out loudly to stop him in his tracks, cursing herself for being unnecessarily rude.
"Devina....oh Devina Khan right? Yeah, she's in our batch, isn't she?"
Abir asked with quirked up eyebrows, not understanding this line of questioning.
"Yeah, yeah she is. What do you think of her?"
Lavanya asked, still not facing Abir, who had a confused expression on his face.
"Of her? I don't even think I've ever spoken to her. Seems okay, I guess? Why?"
He asked, and furrowed his eyebrows when Lavanya shook her head negatively.
"Wait. Did she say something to you, Lav? Is that why you're upset? Was she rude to you? Tell me if-"
He started speaking, voice growing louder by the second as Lav finally turned towards him, shaking her head in a no.
"She didn't, Bir. She didn't say anything to me."
She explained, as now Abir rolled his eyes in annoyance. Could she just tell him what was up instead of playing this stupid game of 20 Questions?
"She...um..she asked if you were single."
Lavanya said sheepishly, as Abir first shrugged indifferently, before widening his eyes, and eventually grinning as he took in her expressions.
Was she...jealous?
"And? What'd you tell her?"
He asked, trying to hide his smile, as Lavanya faltered and looked up at him in unfiltered annoyance.
"Why? What do you want me to tell her?"
She replied with a question in return, making him smirk. Two can play at this game.
"What do you want me to want to you to tell her?"
He asked with a grin, which faded when he realised how stupid that sounded, controlling his urge to punch himself in the face.
He could practically hear Nirvaan chortling in his brain.
"Eugh, forget it. I'll tell her to ask you out, happy?"
Lavanya stated with a tight lipped smile and began to walk away, making Abir fumble and widen his eyes, shit.
"No, Lav?!! Wait."
He called out, holding her hand to stop her from leaving, as she stilled, but didn't turn around.
He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. This was it, now or never.
"You...you know right? I mean it would be kind of impossible for you to not know. The whole group knows. Our bloody parents know. I just....you know?"
He spoke, cringing at how miserably he was failing. He really didn't know how to communicate at all.
Having her back to him, Lavanya gritted her teeth and clenched her fists. Seriously?
"No, Abir. I do not know. Please explain it to me."
She said with a calm face but Abir gulped at the threatening undertones in her voice.
"I...god. Lav, I....fuck I mean I.."
He mumbled, and Lav let out a breath, before shaking her head and freeing her hand from his.
Was it really too much to ask? For him to reassure her of his feelings WITHOUT the influence of alcohol?
Did she not deserve to hear him promise that he'd not break her heart after how shattered she'd been?
"Holy fuck, damn it Lav, I love you. I love you. I've been in love with you since as long as I can fucking remember. I remember everything about you, everything you've ever said to me, every moment we've spent together. And I'm sorry if I'm ruining our friendship but I can't just not say it anymore god damn it, because I love-"
Abir's hurried and passionate rant was interrupted as Lavanya ran towards him, jumping into his tight embrace, taking him by surprise.
Finally.
"I would've been okay after the first 'I love you',idiot."
Lavanya said as she teared up, giggling at the same time as Abir, now out of his daze, hugged her back tightly.
"I feel the same way, you absolute moron."
She yelled, now smiling brightly, as Abir grinned widely too, spinning her around as she laughed to her heart's content.
Sometimes it's all about saying the right thing at the right time.
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"DON'T TOUCH THAT!"
Ayaana chuckled as she heard Rhea scream at a drunk party-goer for touching Mahira's curtains. She'd told her and Sid about Shiv, but still couldn't find Nirvaan anywhere.
She had a feeling that Abir and Lavanya would probably not want to be disturbed when she saw them in Myra's balcony, engaged in conversation.
"Why have I never noticed how huge this house is?"
She said to herself with a sigh as she made her way through the crowds, smiling back at whoever offered her one, and rolling her eyes at the countless glares she'd received from more girls than she'd like.
It was something she dealt with on a regular basis, given she was one of the 'popular kids' and had one of the most prestigious families in town.
What the others in her circle didn't know however, was that somehow she dealt with it a lot more than they did.
Shaking her head to distract herself from her train of thought, she let out a sigh of relief after finally spotting Nirvaan, his leather jacket being his identifying factor.
"Vaan!"
She yelled, but it came out more as a strangled whisper, and she was surprised to see him turn, given her low volume in the otherwise loud crowd.
"Hey Annie! I was looking for you, where'd you go?"
He greeted her, an ever-present grin on his face, making her smile as well, before looking around to find an irritated girl besides him, she'd recognized her as Rachel, one of the cheerleaders in their batch.
Ah, another one of those glares.
"Um, Bhai's here. He was looking for you."
She said, coming straight to the point, wanting to go back to Shiv and the gang as soon as possible.
This is why she didn't like parties.
"Shiv's here? Dude, he'd have better gotten me a SOLID gift for not being here sooner. Chal."
Nirvaan replied with a smirk, as he made his way towards the opposite end of the room, making Ayaana chuckle as she nodded, about to follow him.
"So that's what you do then. Nice move."
She heard Rachel say snarkily, making her turn back with a confused expression.
"Excuse me?"
She asked, having no idea why this girl was even speaking to her.
"I was just saying...the brother excuse? Good job. Way to interrupt any girl he's talking to."
Rachel explained with a tight smile, as Ayaana sighed in exasperation.
"It's not an excuse, but whatever. I don't have to explain myself to you anyway."
She said with a casual shrug, determined not to get affected, only to be stopped from leaving, this time by a tight grip on her hands.
"Oh please, Malhotra. The only reason Nirvaan, or any of those boys for that matter, give you the time of the day, is because of your goddamn surname. So don't get all high and mighty in front of me."
Rachel spoke with an overwhelming amount of bitterness, taking Ayaana by surprise.
She'd hit a nerve with the surname bit, and by the smirk on Rachel's face, she knew it.
Not allowing herself time to reflect on it, Ayaana snatched her hand out of the tight grip and gave the girl a deadpan.
"Yeah well unlike yours, at least he knows my surname."
She spat out, making Rachel narrow her eyes in anger. She hadn't expected Ayaana to retort, she never did.
"And by the way, it's Murthy-Malhotra. Enjoy the party."
Ana remarked, before turning around and walking away as fast as she could.
(Trigger Warning: Anxiety/Panic Attack)
She didn't register anyone approaching her, and hurried to the couch she was sitting on initially, to grab her purse.
She could tell that someone was calling out her name, but she didn't have time as she rushed over to the bathroom on the first floor, in the guestroom, or Neil's room as it was better known.
Hurrying inside, she banged the door loudly, as she struggled to put the lid of the toilet down so she could sit on it, her hands shaking.
Taking deep breaths, she quickly rummaged through her bag and eventually upturned it to throw out all of its contents, before finally stumbling upon a small container.
Fervently opening its cap, she quickly took out a pill and consumed it, sighing as she finally felt her breathing stabilize as she counted backwards from a hundred.
Closing her eyes, she continued to count, stopping only to sip water from the bottle she'd kept in her purse.
"100....97....94....91....88"
She continued in a rhythmic pattern, feeling her heartbeats and breaths synchronise and running her fingers through her hair.
She was interrupted, when she heard a firm yet confused voice call out.
"What are you doing?"
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So.....that happened. You guys must've noticed how all throughout the story I've been writing Ayaana in a way that is very different from other characters, yet also doesn't stand out.
As someone suffering from anxiety myself, it's been a different experience putting how I feel on paper, through Ayaana. Please be kind, to me, and to everyone you meet. Because you don't know what someone is going through.
Also, please know that anxiety isn't a plot device, or a character trait, or an 'aesthetic'. It is a reality that some of us have to live with, and I'm only attempting to show what it's like, for those who might not know.
Ayaana won't miraculously be 'cured', and neither will her disorder be forgotten.
But aside from that, LAVANYA AND ABIR AAAAAAAAA MY CUTIES💖 (now that's a quick tone change🏃♀️)
Anyway, please do comment and vote on this chapter, it'd mean a whole lot.❤️
Until next time, with another chapter:)