My new puppy! We are getting him in four weeks!
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AUDEN.
I sit on the couch, staring mindlessly at the front door, waiting patiently for it to open. My dad called uncle Landon about an hour ago saying he was on his way to pick me up. Yes!!
You have no idea how happy I am. I've been staring at the front door ever since. It takes about an hour to get here so he should open or knock on the door any second now.
I could look out the window and watch cars pass but I think this will be more exciting. Hearing him knock will be music to my—
The door knob twists and the door opens. I smile widely as I run up and tackle him with a hug. He lets out a surprised grunt but he hugs me back, chuckling lightly. "Hey, bud."
"Is mommy okay?" I ask instantly, looking up at him from his chest.
"She's better than okay." He replies, and my smile grows two times bigger.
"I was so worried, daddy." I feel tears spring to my eyes and I let out a small cry.
He hugs me closer, leaning down so I can put my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Aud. I shouldn't have kept you here." He says, running a hand up and down my back. "Quit crying. She's fine now."
I nod my head quickly, letting go of him and wiping my snotty nose onto the back of my hand. Dad looks up and nods towards uncle Landon who is just behind me. "Thank you for keeping him, man." Dad pats his hand onto uncle Landon's shoulder. "Good boy."
Uncle Landon roughly shrugs dad's hand off his shoulder, looking at him with a small smile as he shakes his head. "Good to see you're doing better. We plan to come down and see Tessa soon."
"She'll like that." My father nods. "Have you heard from Addy?"
Uncle Landon's smile grows and he nods his head. "Yeah. She uh... she called Nora and I this morning. She wouldn't tell us where she was but she let us know she was okay and told us she'll call us again later."
Dad pulls uncle Landon into a hug and I find it odd. Dad has never been a hugger unless if it's mom, Emery, or me. Or if someone forces him to hug them like grandma Kim does. She's the best.
"That's great, man." He pulls away and nods towards Nora who is also smiling on the couch. "We better go. I told Tessa I wouldn't be long."
"Okay, drive safe." Uncle Landon says, waving at me.
"Tell Tessa I said hi and I'm planning on coming over there soon."
"I will." Dad nods, opening the door and I follow him out to his black old car that he won't seem to part with.
◉‿◉
EMERY.
I don't think I've ever been this frustrated. Why the fuck wouldn't he just tell me what was wrong? I think I have a right to know what the fuck has happened to his mom. He knows what happened to mine.
It's shitty of him to tell me everything is fine and then to leave all of the sudden. Like fuck, if everything is fine then where the fuck are you going in a rush?
I run my hand through my hair as I pace in the hotel room. I wouldn't be surprised if I've carved a path into the wood with my feet. That's how long I've been fucking walking. I'm anxious, fucking angry, and worried.
What if Chris isn't dead and he went after Cole's family too? What if my mom was told he was dead but in reality it was just another one of his bitches helping him out. It sounds like one of those action movies... but they had to have gotten the idea somewhere. This must've happened before and I have a feeling it's happening now.
But if that's the case then I am more than fucking angry... I am fucking livid. Chris is my responsibility. He has no right to keep something like that from me. Especially if he has hurt someone else, which would be my fault yet again.
I stop pacing and sit in a chair beside the window, looking out of the window, looking down two stories to the parking lot. Just fucking get here already.
Not only did he leave in a rush but he left me with no car. I'm kind of stuck here waiting for him.
Waiting for him. God, I hate that so fucking much. I have to wait for him. I have no other choice but to lean myself onto him and hope he doesn't let me fall. Fuck that shit. I'm independent and I think I lost that when I met Cole. He can't take my independence. I won't let him.
Soon he'll have my independence, my love, and my life and that's exactly what I'm afraid of.
I don't trust him with it. I never have, never will. I'm not getting trapped in a relationship, because relationships like that are rigged. No matter how much you love or care for the person, you always get out heartbroken. Always.
I let out a sigh as I lean my head onto the window, pulling my knees up to my chest. I suddenly don't feel angry anymore. All I feel is sadness creep around in my stomach and chest.I look up to the sky and the sun is in the middle of the sky, which means it's probably around two. He has been gone for two hours. Two fucking hours.
I shut my eyes, my eyes burning with satisfaction. I am very tired. This shit has really stressed me out. Almost more than what happened to mom. Because I actually knew what happened and didn't have to make up worse scenarios to fill in the blanks.
I'm a professional at filling in the blanks with the worst scenarios. I wouldn't be surprised if I won first place in a worst scenarios contest— if that was even a thing.
I feel my mind begin to slow down with thoughts, my brain finally realizing that I'm not going to open my eyes for a while.
Push up, his hand latched onto my hip pressing me down against him. Let out a breath. Go up and repeat.
The burning in my stomach. The feeling of his skin on mine. The sweat and the smell. The thoughts of him wanting this just as much as I do.
My hand in his hair. His hot breath on my neck. His moans whispered into my ear. Up and down and repeat.
"I love you." I say breathlessly.
"I love you more." His lips to my neck. His hand against my stomach, pressing me closer. Finish and fall.
Wake up.
I wake up to the door opening, he's loud as he opens it but quiet when he closes it behind him. I'm guessing he's realized I'm asleep.
I keep my eyes closed. I hear his footsteps get closer and a sigh escape his lips. "Emery..." he whispers lightly, I turn my head, looking at him with tired eyes. "I need to tell you something." He mutters, sitting down on the bed.
I reluctantly get up and sit down beside him, letting out a breath. "Why didn't you tell me about your mom?" I ask instead of listening to him. I want him to know I knew. I want him to realize how stupid it was to just leave without telling me anything. It doesn't protect me, or make me worry any less. In fact, in makes me worry and rage.
With a little bit of anger buried under my quiet and calm tone I say, "I heard what you were saying on the phone."
He hangs his head, "I'm sorry-"
My anger increases the slightest bit and it shows through my voice. "You should've just told me because now I have been here for, I don't know how long, waiting for you to come back and explain it to me."
"I know I-"
"Was it Chris? Is he not actually dead? Did he hurt your mom too?—"
"Emery, my parents are getting a divorce and I'm moving back to New Hampshire." He emphasizes, standing up and looking at me seriously.
Suddenly all my anger turns to nothing... empty nothingness inside my whole body. It's silent. So silent I can hear my heartbeat. It's quicker than normal, filling with anxiety as every silent second goes by. "Wh-why didn't... why didn't you tell me about your mom-" I don't want to talk about him leaving. Anything but that.
"I want you to come with me." He interrupts again, his eyebrows furrowed and his facial expression soft and understanding. "And I know you have a lot on your plate already. You don't need me pulling you away from your mom..." he trails off, "but I thought I'd ask... because I might not get this same opportunity again." He sounds heartbroken himself. Almost more upset than I am.
It's silent again, this time I swear I can hear both of our heartbeats.
Thumpthump thumpthump.
"Cole..." I look down at my lap, messing with my pajama pant laces. "I'm sorry if you... took this the wrong way." He nods quickly as if he wants me to stop talking but I continue, to make sure everything is clear. "I don't like you like that. Definitely not enough to follow you to an entirely different state." I mutter, deciding letting him down easy is the best option. "And my mom..."
Yes, I can't leave my mom behind but that's kind of just an excuse. I can't go with him to a different state. I'll be totally vulnerable in a new land I've never seen before. I'd need him for everything. That gives him the power to either make me or break me. That is exactly what I'm trying to stay away from. He will not take my independence, love, or life. I won't let him.
He is still nodding his head, looking down at the ground. "That's um... that's what I thought." His chest lifts up and down quickly and I can tell he's holding back tears.
I stay silent, my heart aching for him. I hate to do it to him, because I actually did sort of, tiny bit, little teeny weenie bit, start to care for him. But I'm sure everyone in my situation would have. The pain of him leaving will be gone in a couple days and it'll be back to normal life.
Normal life. I can't quite remember what normal life was anymore. It was... Parties, fucking, and drinking. I don't really want to go back to that, but I will. It will be a bit odd, but I'll get used to it again. It's like coming home from a big vacation. You're used to being lazy and having a not-a-care-in-the-world attitude, but when you get back you have all these responsibilities. This is like a vacation and it's time to go home. I'll get over it.
"When are you leaving?" I question quietly, and he sniffles and shrugs his shoulders.
"My mom is hoping on Sunday." He nods his head, "she uh... her and I are going to go back to the house to get our stuff."
"Oh... that's two days away." I feel my heart clench yet again, but this time I ignore it. It'll go away before then. I'm sure of it.
He nods, looking down at his shoes as he shifts on either foot. I guess he's uncomfortable too. He rubs the back of his neck. "Um..." he mutters, "my mom is in the lobby. She's going to stay in here." He says, looking up at me. He still looks upset.
"'Kay." I reply awkwardly. I hate to reject him and then stay in a room with him again. "She can have my side of the bed."
"You're not staying?" He asks as if it's not awkward at all. He knows damn well that it's awkward. Of course I'm not fucking staying. Is he insane? After what we just talked about?
"Of course not, neighbor boy." I say, I try not to make it sound like it'll be the last time I call him that, but it is true. "I'd hate for your mom to sleep on the floor. I'll just call my dad. He can pick me up." I give him a small smile, trying to act as if he didn't just ask me to move to New Hampshire with him. We're just friends.
Friends who used to fuck.
◉‿◉
𝙰𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎
Welcome to the beginning of ending two... I hope you enjoy your stay.
Chapter fifty eight: Mar. 13, 2021