January 17th, 14:08
- Eren's pov-
I was getting out of the shower when I heard Mikasa talk to someone. ' Did someone came in while I was showering?'
" Yeah, Y/n should be there at anytime." I heard her say. I wrapped a towel around my waist and peeked my head out of the bathroom.
" Y/n's coming?!" I asked to Mikasa, who was alone in my dorm. Armin wasn't there.
" Yeah, were doing a zoom call with her... It's been 3 weeks since we last talked, you want to join?" I though about it, but then shook my head.
" Oi! Join the call and tell her." I heard Connie say on the other side of the computer.
" Tell what to who?" I froze at Y/n's voice. Everyone in the call screamed her name. I stayed behind the camera. " Hey guys, I've missed you. Where's Eren?" She sounded so sad, worried.
" He's-" Mikasa started but I fixed her with a " I'm not here" look. " He's at a shoot... But he says hi." I glanced at Mikasa, she gave me a "what" look and went back to her call. I finished getting dressed up and opened the door.
- Your pov-
" Oh, well... You'll tell him hi for me... Do you guys think he's mad at me?"
" I don't think he's that mad-" Marco started.
" Marco don't lie to her... He... He finds it hard..." Sasha said.
" Oh..." You looked down and sighed.
" How is it back there?" Sasha asked to break the awkward silence.
" I guess it should be fun... But since my fathers death, the house is quiet. I got to see my childhood friends. But it's hard, really hard..." You tried not to cry. " But enough 'bout me, how are you guys?"
***
" Oh shoot, uhm we have to go." Connie said. " But know that we're here for you, y/n. Even miles apart, we are by your side." All the others agreed and gave you their condolences.
Only you and Mikasa were left.
" Y/n... Eren's been a mess." She admitted. " His anxiety attacks are back... And he's out of his mind. He was here in the room when you joined, but he didn't want to talk to you." These word felt like a shot in the chest. He was ignoring you, but you understood him.
" I can't say more, but you guys need to talk. I don't know when you where planning on coming back, but the quicker the better. Eren really needs you." You weren't planing on going back, that was the truth. Eren ignoring you made you realize that, maybe you were better out of his life. You had clearly hurted him, but why did he care so much? You were just a friend... Right?
" I'll think about it..."
***
January 18th, 2:45 (WARNING: suicidal thoughts and puking)
You were still not asleep. You were on your bathroom floor, crying. He hated you. Eren hated you for what you did. At that moment, you felt worthless. What was you goal? What was your reason to live? Fall in love? Ruined it. School? You had dropped out of your session. Your family? Only your mom was left. Your friends? Maybe...
In between your sobs, you heard your phone vibrate in your room. You got up and walked to it. It was Eren. You had 10 missed calls from him. You quickly opened your phone and sat on your bed. You dialed Eren's number and listened to it ring.
" Y/N! Finally!" You heard Armin said on the side of the phone. " Mikasa's sleeping at Jean's and Eren-"
" Give her to me, p-please..." You heard Eren cry.
" Eren?! What happened! Is everything ok?" You asked worried. Armin sighed.
" He came back drunk twenty minutes ago, and started crying when he saw an old cup of coffee in the trash. I don't know, he's really not fine."
" I want to t-talk to Y/n!" Eren screamed on the other side. Armin gave him the phone. " Y/n! You left me alone! Why did you leave me!"
" Eren calm down... Shouting won't do anything." You calmly said trying not to cry more.
" You l-left me... Just like Historia did... I get attached, then they leave..." He cried. You could hear his breathing becoming heavy and fast. " Y/n... I'm not feeling well..."
" Shit, he's having another anxiety attack." You heard Armin say.
" Eren... do you have any medicine for your attacks? If yes, tell Armin where there are." There was a moment of silence and he came back. " You took them?"
" Mhm, yeah I-I did."
" Ok, now do you need anything?"
" More water."
" I'm on that." Armin took care of it.
" Now breath on my count ok?" You slowly counted to 10, helping him slow is breathing. " Are you feeling better?"
" Not enough." His voice was still shaky. Mikasa had showed you another technic in case he had an attack during her absence.
" Ok, look around you and name me 5 things you see."
" Armin, my bed, the trash, my desk and my hoodie."
" Great, name me 4 things you can feel."
" The floor, my clothes, Armin's sheets and my hair."
" 3 things you can hear."
" Armin's heavy breathing, the cars and your voice."
" Good, now 2 things you can smell."
" Alcohol and deodorant."
" And finally, 1 thing you can taste."
" Vomit." As he said that, you heard him puke.
" Aw Eren, come on." Armin said as he took the phone. You could still hear him puke in the back. " I'm going to call you later, if you don't mind staying up a little?"
" It's fine, go make him take a shower."
" See you." He said before hanging up.
***
3:23
You had calmed down, helping Eren had helped you calm down. You were staring at the ceiling, waiting for his call. You phone finally rang, it was Armin's phone this time.
" Hey, how is he?" You asked Armin.
" He's almost asleep... You really helped him, and I thought only Mikasa could do that..." He started.
" I wan't to talk to her again, I was mean last time. I w-want to apologize to my d-dummy." You heard Eren say in a low voice. Amrin passed him the phone. " Y/n?"
" Yes, Eren?"
" I'm sorry, it's not your fault, your dad was dying. It's just... you left, just like Historia did. And I promised myself, to not risk getting abandoned again. I miss you, dummy." Him saying that brought warmth inside.
" Ok, bud... You are drunk, and I don't want you to say anything stupid. You'll thank me later." Armin grabbed the phone.
" Goodnight Y/N!" Eren said with a raspy voice before letting the phone go. " I l-" His voice was muffled.
" He should be fine for now." Armin whispered then sighed.
" Ok, but Armin?" You paused. " Who's Historia?"
" His ex-girlfriend."
" Oh... ok, thanks. Goodnight."
" Goodnight Y/n..." Armin said before hanging up.
You closed your phone and laid back on your bed. Staring at the ceiling, you though about Eren. And at that moment, everything connected in your head.
" He only dated one girl, but it didn't end up well. Since then, even if he had a lot of option, he'd rather stay single. He says he doesn't do love anymore."
" I haven't see him get that close to a girl. [...] Buying you a coffee almost every three days? Letting you play in his hair when he's gaming? [...]"
" I've heard a lot about you Y/n, but just be careful. Don't you dare hurt my nephew in anyways."
" My teenager years were a mess, but I'm a lot better as you know."
" [...] Eren seems to care a lot about you. He has never invited someone for Christmas, you are a first. [...] I think he knows it too, at least suspects it. But he hasn't pushed you away, like he did the other girls he befriended with. "
" You l-left me... Just like Historia did... I get attached, then they leave..."
" [...] I promised myself, to not risk getting abandoned again."
Historia was behind why he was mad at you. According to him, he had made the same mistake twice, he had feelings for you. Even if he had said he wouldn't anymore, he got attached to someone. And that person was you. The guy you... loved, maybe loved you back. But all you did, was hurting him, by doing the same his ex did. Leaving him, alone.
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A/N: HEYo, finally you realized he had something for you! Geez, it took you some time. JK jk... Anyway, this was way longer than expected, but hope you liked it.
Again, not hate towards Historia, I LOVE THIS QUEEN
See you next part.