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Another week passed by and they'd again start living their daily lives as they normally do. The only difference being; Amarra falling deeper in love with him everytime she'd spend time with him, everytime she saw him trying to break his shell and try opening up his vulnerable side to her now. And knowing that she could also be someone who helped him in his hard time was enough for her.
However, she also realized she had to stop herself from falling too deep before it was too late. She didn't want to go through the pain again. A pain much deeper and hurtful. A broken friendship.
She scribbled ant language on the notebook infront of her, as she gave zero attention to the extra class she was taking right now. She didn't really had to because the only reason she was attending it was to clear up her head and stay away from him, to maintain some distance, to keep her heart safe.
"Hello Sir!" Abuzar entered into the class as her head jolted up to look at his wandering gaze looking around in the class, until they found hers. "Actually mai apni berry bhool gaya tha class mai, aapki permission ho tou le jau?"
Amarra's eyes further widened hearing his words as the Sir stood there confused, thinking of berry to be his lunch?
"Berry? Sure beta." He allowed him in wondering if berries grew in the summer season? "It's good to see you bring healthy food instead of those unhealthy junks the youngsters order around here."
"Thank you sir." He passed him a sheepish grin, before making his way towards Amarra who was now trying to hide herself behind the notebook she was scribbling on uselessly to pass time.
"Chalein, berry? Ya lunch box mai pack kar ke le kar jau." Abuzar peeked behind the notebook whispering as he still had a playful grin on his face for making a fool out of the oblivious teacher.
Amarra passed him a deathly glare making him roll his eyes. He'd had enough of her changed behaviour the whole day, as she didn't talk much to him, in the break she decided to go to the library, and now she was attending an extra class which she's never attended before.
Grabbing her by the wrist lightly, he took the notebook from her hand, and pulled her out of her seat. In embarrassment, she had her head bow down as he took a hold of her bag, and tilted his head to give the confused sir a thumbs up.
"I'm taking away my berry then."
The others in the class started hooting as the teacher's voice fell on deaf ears, while he ran out of the exit door of the class which was at the back, his hand still holding her by the arm while she threw daggers at him for the whole drama.
"Are you mad?" She folded her arms giving him a disappointed look, her face still red due to anger and embarrassment.
"No, I make people go mad." He put the notebook back in her bag, closing the zip, before handing it to her. "I thought you were stuck in there. You never take extra classes! What's with it today?"
"I- I just wanted to experience it today!" She continued being angry, trying her best not to show how her heart was still on a somersault from his sudden heroic appearance.
"Ach.." He said in a sarcastic tone, his lips together in a thin line, "aaj hi leni thi when we had decided to go to the amusement park together with the soon-to-be-married couple. Did you forget?"
"I'm not going. I already informed Sundala about it though." She felt bad for suddenly deciding it today morning because one of her crazy personalities told her to not get her heart into trouble by making heartfelt memories with him, because in the end, pain is all she'll get.
"What do you mean you're not going?" He gave her a surprised look, since she never backed out of outing plans, staying in the house was always hard for her.
"I'm not in the mood. I've to go home to do some important work. You should go and enjoy." She hung her bag on her shoulder and started to walk away.
"Yeh kia baat hui! Phir mai kia wahan kabaab mai haddi banne jaun ga un lovebirds ke saath." He quickly joined her, their shoulder brushing as they walked. "I'll join you instead, what's the 'oh so important work' berry has that she gave up on-"
"Abuzar! I said I'm not in the mood, so can you please leave me alone?" Her voice came out to be harsher than she thought, however she kept her expressions stern as she stopped walking and turned towards him. He was taken aback by her sudden outburst. He had never seen her this serious before, nor had she ever shouted at him like that.
"Woah. What's wrong? Is everything okay?" They now stood face to face outside the gates as Abuzar gave her a worried look. Was something wrong at her home? Did the evil bhootni do something again?
"I just want to be alone, I said." Her heart clenched looking at him, but she herself didn't know what was she even trying to do?
"Hey, you know I'm always there for you right? You can share anything with me whenever you feel like it." He gave her a reassuring look, reminding her that he'll always be all ears when she's ready to share her problem with him, not knowing this time, it was he himself causing a ruckus in her heart. "I'll be a silent companion and drop you home then-"
"Why? Why are you always there? Isn't it tiring?"
"Because we're friends. Isn't it what friends are supposed to do, to be there for each other in hard times and never get tired of it."
"But it's getting tiring for me. To keep depending on you....." to just see you as a friend.
"Amarra." His voice was calm yet authoritative, "I can never ever get tired of hearing you complain, or cry, even bashing at me, neither will I let you get tired of depending on me, bohat deeth banda hu mai, you see."
He tilted his head, to get a better look at her face, to see if he succeeded in making her feel a little lighter.
Amarra controlled her smile from spilling across her face, as she bit on her lip. He really wouldn't let her heart be at peace.
However the next moment, the conversation with her dad two days ago hit her as she clenched her teeth. That wasn't the reason she was doing this, but it could be an excuse. A good excuse to run away from him.
"But I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want us to be friends anymore." Without a glance at his face, she let out as she felt the thorns pricking her heart, and ran as fast as she could, away from him.
/Flashback/
"Amarra, we need to have a talk." Her dad's voice from the hall made her smile drop, as she kept her phone away on which she was having a chat with Abuzar. Stopping in her tracks, she turned towards him.
"About what dad?" Walking in his direction from the stairs, she questioned. They had just settled their fight the previous day as Amarra knew she couldn't stay mad at her dad for long, not after he apologized to her for raising a hand on her before even giving a chance to explain her side of the story.
"I heard, you've been going around a lot with that guy named Abuzar Shoaib." He stated in a serious tone.
"Yes so? He's a good friend of mine." Amarra plopped on the sofa on the side, not thinking much about this sudden question coming from her dad.
"Do you know which family he belongs to and who his dad was?"
And that was when it hit her. She should've known. Her dad's informants who keep a check on her for safety reasons probably saw her with his mom the other day.
"Do I need to know? I'm friends with him, not his family." She tried shrugging off the topic as casually as possible.
"Amarra. His father was a dangerous politician and his party is our rival. I don't want us to get involved with those kinds of people. My reputation is at stake as well, if you continue meeting him like this." Her dad said in deep thought as Amarra felt frustration rise up in her nerves.
"And? You expect me to break off my friendship with him by telling this to me? I already told you dad, never to involve me in this dirty politics with yourself." She hated this, the world of lies, this politics, pointless enmities, having to take safety precautions because she was a politician's daughter.
"Also, I don't care what type of person his dad was, cause I don't judge people on the basis of their background. All I know and care about is that he's one of the bestest people to have come into my life, and you never want to lose such people over such baseless reasons." Both their dads being in politics, such a cruel coincident for them. But that didn't mean she would cut off her friendship with him. She never had many friends anyways.
"Amarra enough is enough! You know I can get him expelled out of here and your life, if I wish to do so in a flip of my fingers." Her dad lost his cool looking at his stubborn daughter again talking back at him.
"So you're threatening me now? I didn't know, you've become this type of a person too, dad." She got up from the sofa giving him a look of disbelief, before stomping her way upstairs as she heard her dad warn her once again. "Your behaviour is leaving me with no other choice!"
She knew the position he held, the authority he had, he really could do it in no time. But there was no way she was going to let him do that. He'll lose her daughter too if he does. But could she really stop him by that?
/Flashback ends/
Abuzar didn't move from there as he was left in complete shock by her words. He sat there on the bench in complete silence, staring into space. Amarra reached her home as she dashed to her room locking herself up. Did she really run away from him, forever?
Her phone ringing had her flinch as she stared at the screen taking it out of her pocket, it displayed the name she had expected. Hero.
She went to sit beside the window, distracting herself with the outside view. The greenery of the garden caught the attention of her eyes, but what about the ears which kept listening to the ringtone going on again and again. Her hands didn't allow her to silence it, or rather it was her heart. Wasn't she clear enough? Why does he still keep bothering to call her?
Blinking her teary eyes multiple times to dry them off, she placed the phone near her ear, as she remained silent.
"Berry?"
She gulped a fat lump in her throat, shutting her eyes. There was silence for a while until it broke again.
"Okay, I understand since you're not in the mood to talk, I won't disturb you." His voice sounded dejected. "Let's play the three questions game?"
Amarra's gaze dropped on the roses in the vase, as she remembered the first time they played it.
It was when she got a C in her project after working so hard on it so she was sad and was sitting in an empty classroom alone, doodling on her register. He had come to her, trying to talk to her to no avail since she kept giving him a silent treatment. That was when he said, he'll ask her three questions and she can write the answers for him on the register instead of speaking them out.
The first question being, 'What grade did she get?' And she wrote a huge C on the whole page of the register in anger. 'What makes her think she doesn't deserve a C?' She got annoyed and wrote a big fat 'IDK' in a corner.
'Does she think sitting here in silence like a C will get her an A now?' She had quickly straightened her back noticing her position really fitted the description, hitting him with the register while screaming colourful insults at him.
A smile crept up her tear-struck face as she missed those careless and happy times. That was when he dropped his questions at her.
"Why don't you want us to be friends anymore?"
Because I've fallen in love with you. I can bear this pain, but I can't see you hurt because of me.
"Why are you running away from me?"
Because I love you a lot and I'm scared. I'm scared that I might lose you, unprepared.
"Why don't you want us to be together like before?"
Because I love you more than my own freaking self! I can't afford to hurt you too because of me.
She covered her face to stop her muffled sobs from reaching him.
"I'll wait for your answers in the chat box, okay?" She ended the call, before dropping the phone on the table and breaking down. What had she gotten herself into?
Abuzar on the other hand was having a whirl of emotions and a whole tornado of thoughts inside him. He had no idea for this sudden change of behaviour in her. He wasn't liking this one bit. It was extremely scary for him, to even think about losing this friendship he had built, as well. He didn't want to go through this again. Never again, he had thought.
He was walking while in his own little world as a hand on his shoulder made him stop. Drawing his brows together, he turned around to find those three known faces standing there, still with the same hint of evilness on their faces. He wasn't shocked by their sudden appearance though, he knew he had gotten this upon himself. He shouldn't have gone back there in the first place.
"Missed us?" The black eyed bald guy asked, his hand still placed on Abuzar's shoulder.
"I would have said bold of you to assume that I did, but you're already bald for a good reason. Your brain has probably decomposed by the sun rays falling on that empty head of yours." He jerked off his hand, now standing face to face with them. He knew he was getting himself into unwanted trouble with these wrong people, but he wasn't in his straight mind either.
"Looks like you've forgotten your place already." The guy held him by the collar. "Let me remind, you owe us something, don't you?"
Abuzar felt regret rise up in his whole being once again. A mistake he committed years ago was still following him and instead of correcting it, he had been letting it chase him, instead of chasing it away, he followed it too.
It was when he was in college, when he received no attention at home. His mother was always at work, barely taking out time for him from modelling. He didn't like being at home alone too. So he passed most of his time with the 'friends' he had made at college. They were always a good company, fun to be with, he could enjoy and feel less lonely. But, being in their company, soon he found himself to be following them in their lifestyle too. Developing a bad habit. Playing cards, trading money, being around dirty people.
At first it felt wrong, very wrong. But he could just try it once? That once turned into twice, then thrice and soon it became a routine to go with them everyday. He met a girl there. She was too sweet. Too kind. And pretty. One, who could win over your heart just by one game. And she did. She became that one reason he started going there everyday. He successfully became her friend, and one day on his friends teasing, he confessed to her. He thought it to be his first love, the attention and love she gave him being around was what he needed, but he was rejected by her. Since then, he stopped going there. He thought his friends would care, but they just let him be, leaving him behind for he's a 'loser' crying over a girl.
He was again left alone by everyone. He felt dejected, broken, useless. That was, when he turned towards His Lord. He found the lost peace, happiness, a reason to survive. He wasn't going to depend on anyone anymore. He'd become such a strong survivor who won't let anyone break him easily. For that, he had to create a boundary for everyone around him.
When he entered into University, he was the chic guy who never talked to anyone, remained in his own little shell. Soon, he found a talkative guy knocking on his shell. Taha. He continued being a clingy person who didn't leave until he was allowed to near his shell. That's how he ended up making another friend, maybe, it wouldn't hurt letting him be there?
But then, Amarra came along. The girl so easily made her way right beside his shell, not even needing his permission because he was the one who neared her first. Who took the first step. When he saw the same dejected look on her face that night, he couldn't help it. When he saw her going through the same hurtful time, getting no attention at her home just like he had never gotten, he wanted to help her out.
In the process of doing so, he realized he'd not only become a person she always depended on, but she had also become a person he could lean on to live. She unknowingly helped him forget about those painful times by being around. She brought him back to life, since to cheer her up, he'd always become the full of life person he was before. Something he had himself missed in him. Something he had lost for a while, until she came along.
However, his mom appeared after a whole three years again. It was a huge shocker for him, she'd never visited him like this before. Yes, he did sometimes go to catch a glimpse of her secretly sometimes, and he was caught doing so a few times too. He was curious about her suddenly facing him now, but the news she had brought with her wasn't at all what he had anticipated. She was going abroad, with her second husband. Leaving everything behind, including him. And before going, she revealed his vulnerable side he'd never let anyone see to Amarra as well.
That day he felt like disappearing from the face of Earth, to either stop breathing or stop the heart from feeling all those emotions again. After all these years of surviving alone, he still had a little hope to find the love of his mom once. But what was he expecting from her?
Not wanting to face anyone, feeling dejected again, his feet guided him to the place he'd never seen the direction of for years. He went to that dirty place again. He didn't intend to involve himself in gambling again, but he met the people he once called friends there once again. They had turned into proper thugs belonging to that place. He was angry, hurt, helpless, desolate. A stupid dare was all it took for him to fall in their trap and play the game.
Abuzar clenched and unclenched his hand trying to control his anger. He was at this place again. Somewhere he had promised himself he won't ever step in again. His intentions were never bad so he'd be forgiven right? Afterall, Allah knows what's inside a person's heart.
"Why aren't you playing? Just one last game, and we'll let you go Abuzar." He spoke, as people's loud voices and laughs filled in the area, everyone busy in their own games, some smoking, some drunk, as the place reeked of the bad smell.
"A-Ab-uzar." A very low sweet voice reached his ears. He knew this accent, this voice. Spinning his head in the direction, his breath stopped as he found her standing near the entrance door right behind his table. What was she doing here?
Before she drew anyone's attention, he strode towards the door, pulling her by the arm, hiding her infront of him. How did she even reach this place? His heart was beating erratically, worried but also mortified. He could feel her slightly shiver under his hold on her arm. Her face was pale as she was panic-stricken. "What...are you doing in such a place?"
"Amarra. Ghar jao." He turned back to confirm no one followed him out yet, as he then stopped beside the road. Taking out his phone to call up a ride for her, his own frantic self seemed to be unable to do the task in a hurry.
"No, I won't leave until you answer my question." She yelled, her eyes were red and puffy. Abuzar ran a hand through his messy hair, holding her by her arms. "Amarra this isn't the right time. You sh-"
"No! Answer me first!" Her voice was shaky, yet she remained unmoved.
"I said Go home damnit!" He half shouted at her as she flinched back.
"It isn't safe for you to be here. Please." He beseeched almost helpless and afraid. His eyes not meeting hers at all. The voice of someone coming out had him jump infront of her. "Please, go."
Amarra walked around the rose garden, the silence of the night was peaceful unlike her insides. The moon hid behind the clouds tonight, as the stars were shining to keep the night lit. She unlocked her phone, messaging him that she was waiting for him in the garden. She wouldn't leave unless he comes.
She needed answers. She could never ever expect him, her hero, to be involved in such things. She knew him. He wasn't someone like that.
She would've never believed in her dad telling her that he was not the guy she thought he was, even when her dad came to her today, and showed her those images of him at this place, she didn't believe in those, not until she ran from her home and found him there for real now.
Was he lying to her this whole while? Was it all a façade? He never told her he was involved in such a thing, or threatened to, or whatever the case was, he never mentioned it to her even when he opened up to her. The only thing he told her was how he got his scar and she thought he was opening up to her, breaking his shell and bringing up his real self infront of her.
The sound of slow footsteps made her stop, as she found him walking in the empty park. He looked tired, his state was distraught, very unlike him.
"Berry. Wh--" She cut him off before he could continue. She finally let herself explode.
"You're a liar! You've been lying to me all this while! You....you were never sincere in this friendship since the beginning, isn't it?"
"I know. I lied to you." He admitted. "But never say I wasn't sincere in our friendship. That's the most precious bond for me." He walked closer to her, as in the darkness of the night, she could still see his hazel green eyes in a darker shade, looking sorrowful.
"Abuzar, why did you hide this from me? Were you lying to me the whole time? You told me you don't have a family and I..I believed in you even after your mother appeared out of nowhere. I understood and trusted in you because I knew you must have your own reasons for saying that. But this.....this is too much. You-"
"Amarra. Do you trust me?" He questioned, his fixed unwavering gaze on her, as if searching for the answer in hers himself. She remained quiet, breaking the eye contact, turning away.
"My explanation and words would be of no use since.....it's already broken. The base of our friendship, our trust in each other, it- I just couldn't keep it strong. I'm sorry, though I know a mere sorry wouldn't fix it, but I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you or lie to you in any way but, I couldn't reveal something to you that I didn't want to accept myself, that was already painful and embarrassing enough for me to ever face you again after going through." He knew he had messed up bad. He knew he wouldn't be able to fix it all over again. But he had already lost it all, losing again wouldn't hurt much right? He's gone through it enough times to bear through it again. He started walking away, his head facing down, not being able to face her anymore. She had turned away from him, but maybe, he should give her an explanation, she deserves it. Rotating back around, he found her squatted down, hugging her knees.
"I do trust you, hero. And I'd never ever judge you on the basis of your past. Cause those past mistakes are what made you into the person you are today." She said to no one but herself in particular, not knowing he heard it. Not realizing, how it caused his defeated heart to beat again. She didn't need any explanation from him, she trusted him enough to never doubt him and his good side.
And Abuzar knew he could never walk away from her ever. He would never lose her from his life. She was too precious, too important to ever let go off.
She was like the affectionate rosy scent, and he never wanted for it to disappear from his life.
/❦︎❦︎❦︎/
The golden lights and the yellow flowers decorated the whole house perfectly. The exterior and the interior of the house gave the vibes of the function which was taking place, dholki.
Amarra handed over the box of sweets to one of the maids, and slowly made her way towards the beautifully decorated stairs, the yellow flowers hanging around the railing, the lights perfectly rolled around it like creepers, the small candles placed on the sides as she took her steps carefully in her khussa, picking up the long yellow desi dress she wore for the first time, which was getting quite hard for her to carry.
Hugging Sundala, she congratulated her as she greeted the rest in the room. Getting compliments from everyone, she felt her cheeks and ears turn warm everytime. Soon all the girls left to prepare to start the function as she sat in the room with Sundala.
"So, tell me? How's everything with Abuzar?" Sundala wore the gajras in her arm, as she forced them on Amarra's both wrists too.
"I don't know! Everything just seems to be going the wrong way!" Amarra played with the petals on them, softly touching the red ones. It had been two weeks, and none of them had talked to each other nor tried to. Although, Amarra would find herself staring at his name in her contact list everyday, going through their old messages, staring at their pictures every night, but she didn't let her impulse win.
"Then make it right, Ara!" Sundala exasperated shaking her head.
"Someone needs to take the first step, if you both keep sitting back, no other hero or strawberry is gonna come to get you guys back together."
Amarra heaved a heavy sigh, as Sundala's phone tinged, a message popping on the screen, making her go slightly pink. "Amarra? Can you bring more gajras for my feet from downstairs?"
Nodding, she left her room closing the door behind her as per Sundala's strict order. Walking through the hall way, she felt a presence behind the window curtains on her way. Her eyes went to the floor, where she found a pair of shoes peeking out from under the curtains, almost making her shriek. Is it a thief? She should just silently walk away and shout when-
A chilling thrill ran down her spine as she got pinned to the wall by a body hovering over her.
"That scared me!" She placed a hand over her mouth, finding the thief to be none other then Abuzar.
"Finally, I got you." He breathed out, his hands on the wall, on her either sides.
"What are you doing here? This is a ladies function." She asked in a hushed tone, looking around to see if anyone else saw him.
"I was helping Taha to sneak in. Banda mar raha tha apni hone wali biwi ko dekhne ke liye." He rolled his eyes as Amarra gasped glaring at him. These boys.
"And what about you?" She quirked a brow at him, trying not to give attention to their current position. But she could feel her heartbeat rise in her chest.
"What about me?" He noticed his hands caging her between them, as he moved them away. Amarra ignored the loss of warmth her heart felt at that and folded her arms.
"What do you want?"
He knew this was his chance. To maybe bring back their friendship which had drifted apart for unknown reasons.
"I want it all again. I want our pointless bickerings, the long walks and talks, the joking, the fights, all the cute pictures with you, everything. I miss you. No, I miss us."
Amarra's heart stilled momentarily, before it fluttered with a strange sensation. Her expressions softened looking at his pleading and almost vulnerable eyes. There was something very deep, warm and honest in the way he looked at her.
"I miss us too, hero." And she gave in.
"Then why are you running away from me?" He stared at her, his gaze as focused and unflinching.
"I must've gone crazy. Expecting that I could actually do that. That I could silently run away, but you know what? This made me realize many things I needed to know."
"And what are those?"
"With you, I'm a better person. I live harder, I love deeper. I laugh until my stomach hurts. I choke up when you leave and think about you all day. I'm not going to let you go. I don't think I ever could. So let's end this chasing game."
"Haye!" He placed a hand over his chest, turning away from her making her furrow her brows in confusion.
"I'm blushing!" He slightly nudged her by the arm, as she let out a throaty chuckle. His eyes gazed at her from the corner fondly, he had missed this laugh.
"You can continue with that later, but I guess you have a lot of explanations to give." Amarra faced him as he gave her an innocent look. "Abuzar, I want to hear your story. I want you to let it all out too. You can't continue to keep it all inside. Just like you told me you're always there by my side, to listen to me, because that's what friends should do, then do you not consider me to be one for you?"
As soon as she finished her sentence, Abuzar clasped their hands making her eyes go wide, heart all wild, as he started walking ahead with her following behind, hand in hand.
/❦︎❦︎❦︎/
/Author's Note\
✨Double trouble✨
*grumble grumble*
Yeh kia ho raha hai?
Idek myself😶
Did I mention before?
This was supposed to be the last chapter🙂
So imma just end it like this!
Bubye! *walks out*
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*awkward silence*
Hey! That's defo not the end bhae!🤚🤓
*hops back in*
My honey bees-- rose bees will get a proper ending!
So here's a ✨double update✨ cause the author wuvs the readers and wants to thank them for showering sm love/roses here♥️🤧
Also because this chap was again kinda too emo and we need our Abuzar to bring back the fun!💅
Right?
Ps. Sometimes I do question my sanity for writing these author notes like this-
👁️👄👁️
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