Disclaimer: I know a lot of you love Lily Collins, but I had to demonise her a little to make my story work. I'm sorry, I don't hate Lily at all, nor do I love her. I'm Switzerland. Also I have probably made up a lot of things about her and fucked up what actually happened between Jamie and her but I just do not feel like stalking her love life to death.
As always this is unedited because I am sick and do not like editing stuff... I am sorry. I have to stop saying sorry it's losing its meaning...
Jamie
"So there is the star," she says and I shrug of her comment, making the sound one makes when ones blow their nose. She smiles up at me, the wide cheeky smile I remember so vividly from our blessed time together, but it all goes south from there. I suddenly recall everything bad that had ever happened between us, the lying, the cheating and all the bull shit. Lily is a fair tolerant person, the problem with that being she always did what was expected of her. Always. Or at least she made it seem so to the outside world, she made it seem as if we had been one happy lovedovey couple. And we were, for about 3 months till Zac Effron strolled his way into the picture frame again. He was Lily's ex and for what I could tell she had never really gotten over him. Then again who get's over Zac Effron?
"No really, you don't have to be so modest all the time," she says and punches my shoulder lightly. She was wearing high waisted light shorts and one of those small shirts that only nearly covered her chest with some inspirational slogan written on it. Her hair was short straight framing her face, "So how is shooting coming?" She asks, trying to make small talk. I don't feel like talking to her. Most of all I feel sick. Which I shouldn't, so I shan't. I try to decide. She was the first girl to go around my back and cheat on me while we were still a thing, and from there it had just kept going. I had gone from one cheating girlfriend to the other. From Lily to Mathilda. The worst part about the whole thing was that I remember thinking: 'I might love this woman', both with Lily and Mathilda right before they said, 'we're over, I'm seeing somebody else', 'it's not you it's me', 'we just weren't meant for each other that's all, 'we gave it a try and we had a great run, but I just don't think this is for me', "Jamie?" 'his name is... (I always bleep out their name in my mind in fear of what I might do) and we have been going out for a while,' "Jamie?", 'we're just too different you know?', 'we're too young to be where we're headed, it's all moving too quickly' "Jamie?!" 'maybe one day in the far of future it might work but not now,' 'you still have millions of supermodels to shack don't you?', 'I would only tie you down.' "JAMIE!!!" I am ripped out of my head, somebody is screaming into my face.
"Sorry what were you saying?" I mumble my head still somewhat in the past. The sun is burning down on my head and neck, making me sweat. I have a baby blue V cut tee shirt on and a pair of loose trousers that went to about mid calf. But right now I would rather me wearing nothing, it is too hot out here.
"I was just asking you, how shooting is going and such, till you drifted off," Lily explains. I can tell but the look on her face that she is slightly annoyed, she always hated in when I drifted off. Especially, when she was the one speaking.
"Ohw aahh..." I say, "fine I guess we have only shot a couple of scenes-" she cut me off, abruptly.
"So how is the new Clary? I hope you don't miss me too much," she says smiling, I can hear she is being ironic, that she doesn't mean anything evil or condescending regarding Skye but I feel like I have to stand up for my new co star anyhow.
"She is brilliant, she really puts a new spin on the whole thing, plus Lily, you have to admit," I hold a pause, just for the effect, "she beats your hair colour tenfold." I joke, my face stretched in a grotesque version of delight. As we probably all remember Lily had died her hair fake red for the movie,(or the director had decided on the colour but whatever) and I have never till this day seen a girl born with hair like Lily's. It was a pretty colour, do not get me wrong, but real red hair beat it every day. Lily laughed at me, trying to brush of my backhanded bitch slap as nothing, but I knew I had hit her - I'm not one to hold grudges, but--- okay yeah I am one to hold grudges! She cheated on me and then ran off with him, and it didn't exactly sit well with me.
"ahaha, well I hope her real red hair draws viewers to the screen then," she says and I swear to god I heard something deadly and poisonous in her voice. Like a cobra or malarial mosquitoes you never see coming.
"I hope so too," I smile at her. We just stand there, having a stare off. Rhys and Patrick obviously feel the tension between us and for once stay quiet, but I know it's only a matter of time before Patrick starts to drop bad jokes and Rhys does something really cool with that ninja body of his.
"Well," Lily breathes out, "nice to see you again Jamie," she smiles at me again and I want to rip the stupid grin of her face. "You too Lily" I respond, trying to be friendly. She ignores my presences completely "and you too Rhys," she chirps and turns to hug Rhys, he hugs her back a confused look plastered on his face. Rhys is not one to get in the middle of relationship feuds, so evidently he looks very uncomfortable. She lets go of him and t starts to walk away slowly, "all the luck to you," she grins back over her shoulder, smiling and waving at Patrick, "I hope you'll do a great job as Alec," she could obviously tell who played who just by looking at them. Dark hair, trained body and blue eyes, got to be Alec that one. No one like him.
"Lily," I shout making her turn at the sound of my voice, "was it worth it?" I ask, she knows what I am talking about. She knows what I'm asking. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is hanging slightly open as she continues to walk backwards and away from us. She stares blackly into my eyes, and I can't tell whether she is angry, upset or actually feels sorry from her actions.
"What is he talking about Rhys?" I hear Patrick ask Rhys, but I don't hear him answer. Lily says nothing, she just keeps staring at me bluntly.
"Nice to see you J," she chirps her stunned expression suddenly gone from her face, replaced with a look of forced happiness. I can tell by how the lines around her mouth are a little too straight and a little too perfect. Then she turns on her heals and trot away. Just like that. Without answering my very fucking simple question. I see her disappear around a big yellow building, which is shooting some chick flick for what I can tell. We're at some place where they shoot a lot of movies; I don't know what it's called. I just show up and do my thing. I am not here to ask questions about the design of the place. All I know is the buildings are huge the size of a gymnasium of sorts and painted in a faded yellow colour. Around each building is a-well let's call it a trailer park, because that's what it looks like. Trailer after trailer is placed outside these buildings, hosting all sorts of self-centred celebrities. And yes I am aware that I am one of them.
"Sooo, Jamie," Patrick says, putting an arm on my shoulder, "something you want to share with the group?" I raise him an eyebrow. Really, Patrick? What is this? An AA meeting?
"There is some bad blood between Lily and J," Rhys try to explain.
"You don't say," is Patrick's brilliant response, "mind filling me in J?"
"Yes, I do mind actually," I say harshly, suddenly feeling very angry at everyone and everything around me, "I'm not really in the sharing kind of mood today," I say ripping his hand from my shoulder like a five year old and trotting away. I head for my trailer, suddenly remembering my godly blessed Reese's and cupcakes. I'm actually not allowed to eat the stuff, but we slip once in a while, don't we?
"Never mind then," I hear Patrick say, and I imagine him throwing up his hands in a surrendering gesture, "forget I ever asked."
I reach my trailer and step in, slamming the door behind me. Know that feeling where you don't know why you're angry? Where you just can't stop feeling like you want to ram your fist at the walls and beat them till your knuckles ache. Or go throw a trash can one hundred miles away just to get the energy out of your system. I pace back and forth in the small confinements of my trailer trying to make the sudden spark in energy die down. It didn't it only kept building. I keep pacing and grip my long hair yanking it back from my face, entwining my fingers behind my head. The convulsing violent energy doesn't disappear, it only grows. I have been anxious for a while now and it just doesn't seem to go away. What beats me is, that I have no clue why I feel like this. My heart is pounding in my chest and for some reason I can feel adrenaline coursing through my veins. I yank of my clothing and take on my sweats, leaving my chest bare for the sun to scorch. Then I put on socks and my running shoes. As if my arse has caught on fire I sprint out the door. The heats hit instantly, but I don't slow down. I have to run, I have to. Otherwise I might explode with nervous jittery energy.
I head for the beach, I pass my all kinds of people none of which recognizes me, I am not famous enough for that to happen yet. Plus at the moment I look too different. My chest is bigger that it has ever been, by arms are lined with veins and muscle. My legs are thundering hard against the ground, making my heart pump in my chest and I start to break a sweat. I could no longer fit into my normal clothe, it was so small and I to muscley. I had had to change my whole wardrobe while being in LA. Much to the pleasure of Evelyn, who had insisted on helping me out.
I run out the gates of the studio and head straight for the sound of waves which is always close when you live in LA. The houses pass me in a blur, old houses, new houses they all vanish before my eyes as I run and it's only me and my legs thundering against the pavement. I weaves left over the road, and distantly I hear a car honk. Then I pass a bar selling exotic drinks, just before I hit the beach. The sand buries my feet and makes it near impossible to run, so I slow down for a bit and stagger out near the edge of the water, where the ground is hard and wet, perfect for running. The sun is still beating down on me even though it has started to set. For some reason there are very, very few people at the beach today, for the LA standards that is. This would be a quite trafficked day at the beach if it had been in London. I see none of them as I pick up speed, my lungs starting to burn but I keep going.
It feels like I have been running for hours or only a couple of minutes when I see her. The red hair beams out at me like a beacon. I stop dead in my tracks. My chest heaving for air, I am still far away from where they are standing. I see Godfray standing casually looking at the ordeal, but what makes my vision go red is the fact that Skye is tugged neatly under some big guy with brown hair. My pulse thunder in my ear, I can't see anymore. I shan't. I won't. Their embrace look intimate as if they're about to kiss. And I do not feel like watching. Am I seeing correctly? Is that my Skye? I knew it were, I could recognize her anywhere, from any angle. It is her. I turn my back on them sprinting back from where I came from. They didn't notice me at all. My heart sank to my stomach and began to ache, it was as if no air got in my lungs but I keep running anyway. Might as well strangle myself to death if I can. I really can't breathe. I put all my attention on my legs. I want to get out of here. I don't want them to see me and I suddenly do not want to see Skye breaking my trust for her forever. Tears start to pool in my eyes as I run, but they don't start trickle down my cheeks, they just stay in my eyes making my vision go blurry, till I wipe the polls away. Only to have them reappear again a second later. As I near the flats where we the entire cast lives, I can't get one single thought out of my head.
She is just like the others.
A/N: Remember to VOTE and COMMENT if you enjoy my story! it mean a lot thank you!