Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu...
I request my precious readers to pray their Salah if they haven't prayed yet before reading this chappy.
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Third persons pov :
She ran to the bathroom as fast her weak body could allow and emptied her guts out seeing blood in her vomit was not a new thing for her but the amount of blood which came out now was surely an alarming thing.
Zaamin rubbed her back trying to ease her pain which was taking a deadly toll on her seeing his other half in pain made his stomach churn.
He helped in brushing her teeth then after cleaning her up he scooped her in his arms and placed her carefully on the hospital bed and reclined it to a seating position. He attached the nasal cannula which was attached on her nose to the oxygen cylinder to increase the oxygen flow which helped her ease the process of respiration.
"This is getting nasty as time passes!" Her voice was hoarse even talking seemed like a big task for her.
He looked at her fragile form his heart breaking at the mere sight of her condition once a healthy bubbly girl was now left with only skin and bones her cheeks hollow with sunken eyes yet she was the most beautiful creature in his eyes.
How could she not? after all she's his other half!
"You need to be strong for us! You can't give up my tigress!" He caressed her cheek lightly, her lucid jade eyes had lost the spark in them which always seem to be burning with passion to fight.
To fight against cancer!
It was a rare type of thyroid cancer she was diagnosed with!
The medication seemed to have no effect as she was on the last stage of the deadly disease which wanted to take her life away which zaamin couldn't allow to see her leave him forever.
"I can't do this anymore these chemo has done nothing then make me very weak! I'm tired zaam!" She cuddled up on his chest cocooning herself in his warm embrace as he held her close to himself.
"Urw-" he began but she cut him in the middle "I know its not easy but you had to understand this z-zaam I had the spirit to f-fight if not for myself but for you and dad but I j-just can't anymore, its so painful every single breath seems like needle pricking my skin!" She sobbed on his chest as he weeped inside his head not being able to show his vulnerable self to weaken her further.
He needed to be strong for her!
"I want you to let me g-go, I want to l-leave this world peacefully I don't want to fight with d-death anymore!" She fisted his tear soaked shirt as he rubbed her head which was bald due to the amount of chemo she had undergone.
The most priced possession for a woman is her hair! And hers was gone!
No amount of words can describe the ill feeling she felt at that time, it was indescribable and that was a moment in her life she couldn't forget like EVER!
"You're literally asking me to rip my soul out of my body? Do you think I can let you go like it's easy for any of us to let you go? Do you think I'll handle the pain like I'll be able to live without you?" He asked cupping her face, the emotions which seemed to display on her face was broken beyond repair.
She averted her gaze as she shook her head in denial "Do you think it's easy for me to say this, I know z-zaam its not going to be easy for any of us b-but with time you'll be able to let me go time will heal your wound allah will make you stronger!"
He shook his head vigorously in no how can he make her understand that it'll only get worse as time passes when she won't be with him to share her life with him.
How can I live without you ?
"I j-just can't let you go tigress I'll be miserable without you, You're my other half we shared our mothers womb for nine months and our entre life together then how can you ask me to face this world without you by my side?" He asked as a stubborn tear rolled out of his eye which he couldn't hold any longer.
"Please zaam understand my situation you and I both know there are just few weeks left till I take my last breath and when I want to leave this world I want to be a free soul free from this suffocating four walls, free from these wires, free from this depressing environment!" She told him her voice fragile yet intentions firm which left no room for further argument.
"Consider it as my last wish, dad won't allow this if i ask him but i know you won't let me down take me away from this place take me to our safe heaven can you do this for your tigress my zoo-zoo!" Her nick name made him cry even harder as he finally gave in to her request he clutched her fragile body tightly fearing if he let go she'll disappear like the invisible air.
The hardest decision which he took that day almost knowing it'll kill his soul made him face the wrath of this world as they named him as murderer of his own twin.
A bloody damn murderer!
None other than his own father!
Tears poured out of aala's eyes as she listened to his side story, she was speechless would be an understatement .
She didn't even know what to say or how to even react her mind was numb but one thing she knew and believed that it was not his fault.
Hell anyone would've did the same if they were in his position, they had blamed him like it was a piece of cake for him to take that heart wrenching decision, like he had no feelings like he was a damn puppet and not some human with emotions.
How can the world be so cruel as they named him a murderer of his own twin, how heartless can these people be? They don't even know how he would've felt at that moment.
No one knew the devasting pain of losing a loved one better than her, they don't know the feeling how it feels to not have someone by your side when you're used to be with them all the time, when you wake up and see their face first thing in the morning and thank allah for blessing them in your life.
"W-what happened after you took her a-way from the hospital?" Aala questioned him as he tightened his hold which was interwined with her fingers as she rubbed her thumb over his hand to comfort him.
Zaamin closed his eyes as a sad smile made its way on his face which almost broke Aala's heart of how vulnerable he looked at that moment.
"I took her to the beach house which was a gift from grandpa to us when we graduated from school, we called it our safe heaven as it was the most peaceful environment anyone can have!"
"Though I took her away from the hospital but still she was depended on nasal cannula to ease respiration process!"
"We spend our short time or i can say her last few days with us trying to act like normal youngsters playing, pranking, bullying each other i cooked for her all the time and she will be like I'll burst any moment if I even put single spoon inside my mouth zoo-zoo!"
Aala chuckled along with zaamin at the adorable memory but his smile faded as a tear slipped out of his eyes "I would've fed her even more if I knew that was the last meal she's going to eat that fateful day when she left m-me peacefully in her s-sleep!" With that he broke down in tears as he fell on his knees not being able to withold the pain anymore.
His sobs made aala gasp as she muffled her cries with the back of her hand as she was unable to see him in that condition.
"She passed away a week after I took her out of the hospital and when d-dad came to knew he refused to believe me but when he saw her lifeless form he collapsed on the floor, he blamed me he said I killed his daughter that he was cursed to have a son like m-me!" He banged his wounded fist on the ground making it even bloodier than it was before.
"I never said anything back to him because I already anticipated the outcome will something be like this but I never regretted spending a week alone with my urwa she was happy to be free, she asked me to promise aala s-she asked me to promise her that i won't blame myself when she leaves this world as it was her own wish!"
"But yet somehow I always wondered what if I had continued her medication will we have got more time with her? Or i was the one who killed her like they say?" He asked her looking in her lucid jade eyes which always reminded him of his twin.
He always wondered if he was the one who killed his twin? Was he a heartless ba***rd as people say? He was tired with fighting his conscience all the time that he fell into depression for almost two years.
Nothing seemed to ease the pain in his heart he was hopeless how can he not when he lost his other half? Twins tend to be closer than typical siblings — they share a bond that is oftentimes unexplainable and they were no exception.
Aala wiped her tears quickly as she kneeled in front of him and took his hand trying to be refugee in his pain "No zaamin its not your fault, like she said it was her decision she wanted to be free and you just wanted her to see happy don't blame yourself thats the most damaging thing to oneself!" She reminded him gently to which he nodded but tears seemed to be unstoppable.
"I know and I accepted it after I took some professional help from the psychiatrist who helped me to overcome my guilty conscience, I refused to took help after falling into depression but asfa didn't budge she forced me into taking help and I couldn't resist her pesrsuation I took help!" Opening about his dark moments in life to someone was not easy he thought it made him look weaker.
But even the strongest has his own moments of weakness and he was no exception, aala gulped not being able to see in him in such a messed up state yet he masked his emotions well all these years not letting anyone in.
She was surprised of how strong he was and had become over the years but at the same time her heart clenched realizing how lonely he had been all these years.
His own father hating him and living in a family like they were complete strangers just the thought alone was enough to breke a person when one realize there was no one to support you or have your back even in your weakest moment made aala cry harder.
Nothing mattered to her at that moment when she saw how broken he looked, she cupped his face with her both hands as she made him look at her his baby blue eyes expressed the inner turmoil he was going through "I don't know if anyone had told you this but I'm so proud of you zaam! I feel so proud for the man you had become, You're not a murderer, you did what you know was right, its not your fault, I believe in you!" She nodded at him giving confirmation that his pain and sufferings were recognized and that he was not at fault, That was all it took for him as he hugged aala tightly to his chest burying his face in her neck as he sniffed seeking refuge in her arms.
Even for just a moment he wanted to feel comforted, he just wanted to feel wanted He just wanted a moment to forget everything and just breathe.
Aala stood motionless in shock when she realized he was hugging her but when she heard his sniff like in a trance she hugged him back tightening her hold on him she hesitantly rubbed his head trying to comfort him as they both hugged, he closed his eyes as a small smile made its way on his lip when he realized she was there for him.
His sunshine!
She doesn't know what made her hug him back but one thing she realized that she couldn't see him in pain.
She has started to care for him and that alone is a start to something which she's not ready to accept yet sadly if their situation was only that simple!
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Phew!
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See you soon sweethearts
-Love Noha