"You can't keep it." Lucas' voice was firm as he stared down at her.
They'd known each other for years, keeping their secret smiles and desires to themselves. He liked her but he loved her sister, half-sister. Yara knew this but Lucas was the only person that had ever cared to ask her how she felt about things. When she spoke, he listened intently. When she fell, he'd always picked her up until she fell for him. When she'd needed him most he'd chosen Aya.
Everyone always chose Aya, there dad, their grandmother Mary, even her friend group Kaia and Zolee gravitated more towards her sister. The only people that had given equal attention to both were their brother Amari and Lucas.
Now that was all gone, he'd made his choice and it wasn't her. She was wide-eyed and 18. He was five days from 19 and still healing from her sister's betrayal. They'd broken up but he never stopped loving her. Yara should have known but she'd been eager to let him bury himself in her so she could feel a modicum of the love she'd dreamed of receiving from him.
"Lucas, I... don't know if I could get rid of it. I don't think I can do this." Her voice trembled as she looked out the window and took in the cold exterior of Planned Parenthood.
"You have to Ya. We're not ready to be parents, we're not even in love."
Her heart ached; he wasn't but she was sure that she was. She had been since seventh grade and she'd had to sit back and watch him love her sister for years. It wasn't fair but then again life had never been fair to her.
"You just don't want Aya to know." Yara's thoughts escaped her lips and made her blush while Lucas froze. His jaw tensed at the mention of her sister's name. Aya was pregnant with another man's child.
"I'm just not ready to be a father Yara. Look, this is messy okay? We should've never gone there. I love you but I'm still in love with your sister."
"She moved on Lucas, she's having another man's baby, isn't that enough of a sign for you? She's never loved you the way you loved her, but I do."
Raising his hand , Lucas shoved open his car door before coming to her side and opening hers for her.
"We're not doing this Yara. I don't love you and all that kid is going to do is cause drama, tie you to a person who won't feel the same for you and trap you here. Do you want that?"
His words stung her. As she turned away from him, she caught her reflection in his rearview mirror and felt stung. She was becoming her mother, pining for a man who wouldn't have her. Lucas was ashamed, he regretted her, he didn't love her, and she knew deep down she believed the child in her womb to be a mistake. Her father had also called her a mistake once.
As she turned to the clinic, she steeled herself.
She wouldn't be her mother. She couldn't bring a child into a situation this heartless and unfair and most importantly, she couldn't stay in Colorado. There was nothing here for her, perhaps there'd never been.
"Yara?" Ebony waved her hand in front of her friend's face as she examined the glazed look in her eye.
Yara had taken a week to come to terms with her situation. It opened old wounds and poured salt in the fresh ones. She'd been here before, but no one knew, she'd never told a soul. After that fateful day, her and Lucas stuck to pleasantries and pretended that everything was okay. She thought she had forgiven him, but she realized she'd just buried him like she did everything else.
Running her hands through her curls, she came back to earth and shrugged Ebony's concern away before dejectedly staring down at the pancakes on her plate.
"I'm fine, I just... I don't know Eb, I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean? Are you thinking of terminating?"
"Aren't you?" Yara stared back at her speechless as Ebony vehemently shook her head.
"Hell no, Yara I laid down and besides I can provide for my child with or without Kevin. Luckily, he's kind of excited. He and Zoë are having a rough patch, so he's been over more."
Yara gave Ebony the look and her friend ignored it for all of three seconds before she slumped back in her booth.
"Yara, I know but I love him, and I can see that he wants me but Kyrie...."
"She's not even his child Ebony, she has her daddy."
"Yara, it's complicated. Anyway, are you going to terminate?"
Yara shrugged before a chill ran down her spine. She knew what that was like and she'd nearly gotten swallowed in her own guilt the first time. It was the worst pain she'd ever known, and she knew half of it was spiritual. Lucas had forced her hand and he'd killed a part of her soul that day.
She was stupid to put her last hope for love in him, but he'd always been there; just not for her.
"I don't think I can Ebony, but, I don't want to be baby mama number 3 and I also don't want to deal with Jordan, at all."
Ebony reached for her friend's hand and sighed.
"Whatever you chose, you're not alone Ya. You've got me and Zo."
"Yeah I know, even though both of you have enough going on yourselves."
Ebony chuckled at the comment.
"At least there's one upside to all this."
"And what is that Ebony?"
"They'll be built in best friends." The glow in Ebony's eyes was infectious.
For a moment, Yara almost allowed herself to dream but the idea of telling Jordan deflated her mood instantaneously. Should she tell him? Was she going to keep it?
"I'm going to get another drink, you want something?"
Yara surveyed Ebony's empty plate but she shook her head.
"Nah, I'm good. I'm not trying to eat myself out of these size 6 jeans."
"The baby will do that for you." Yara mused before she made her way to the counter and ordered a strawberry banana smoothie.
"YAWA!" A tiny voice she recognized called out to her and ice ran up her spine as she felt small hands wrap around her legs.
She hadn't known that voice long but it had quickly become familiar to her.
"Hey Callie!"
Yara smiled down at the little girl before looking to see who she'd came with. Thankfully, it wasn't Jordan. Still, it was Mylin and she walked over with an air of volatility.
"How are you?" Yara turned back to Callie who was reaching up for her. Reluctantly, she took the little girl in her arms and allowed her to give her a big hug just as Mylin reached her side.
"Yara." Mylin greeted her coolly with Jayden on her hip who began to reach out for Yara as well. Mylin's expression was unreadable. "I see you three have bonded."
"Yeah, Callie's very friendly and Jayden is too, it's hard not to be fond of them but I'm sure you know that."
Yara smiled at the Callie once again before letting her down and smoothing out her dress. She then took Jayden's outstretched hand and squeezed earning her a shy smile.
"Hey Gorgeous."
Mylin surveyed the interaction but didn't move her daughter away. Jayden's reaction to her obviously meant Yara had never been unkind to her and of all the things Mylin thought Yara to be, she couldn't deny the sparkle in her eyes when she interacted with the girls. She'd had to deal with Ashlee, Callie's mother, so she wasn't quick to ice other women out completely when it came to children.
"They like you. I wish I could say the same, but I don't really know you outside of Jordan."
Mylin's voice came out nonchalant as she came to Yara's side.
"Well, I guess there's no need to now. Jordan and I aren't together anymore."
If Mylin was shocked, she didn't give it away.
"Yeah well, Jordan's fickle and quick-tempered. I saw the aftermath of your argument and honestly you may be dodging a bullet I still can't get out the way from."
Mylin confided and Yara watched her, really took her in. Mylin was beautiful, her caramel skin was smooth and blemish-free. Her black hair was scooped into a neat bun and the khaki dress she was wearing hugged her curves in all the right places. Why did she insist on clinging to Jordan knowing he'd continuously chose people over her?
Jayden shifted in her mother's arms giving Yara enough space to view the shirt the toddler wore. Big Sister was written in all caps and Yara felt her legs get weak.
"He didn't tell you?"
Mylin's voice held surprise but also something else, something satisfied.
"We haven't talked since I walked out like I told you but uhm, congratulations. I hope this was what you wanted."
"I mean I love kids and Jordan so I'm hoping this is a new start for us all. Plus, I always wanted a son."
There was something about Mylin that was unsettling. She almost seemed comfortable in the space she occupied in the web Jordan had spun. She didn't look at Yara in any particular way but there was an overbearing undertone of intolerance that made it abundantly clear this exchange wasn't friendly. It was a stake of territory. She was having his child once again and Yara was reeling from their burnt out romance. Mylin didn't know she wasn't the only one and Yara wouldn't tell her.
"That's good to know. Good luck with everything."
With that said, Yara squeezed Callie's and Jayden's hands affectionately before she caught eyes with Ebony who was at the exit and followed her out with smoothie in hand.
It wasn't until she got to the car that she exhaled and her chest hurt.
"Yara breathe, what happened?"
Yara shook her head at Ebony's question as she tried to gather herself. This shouldn't have hurt the way it did. She shouldn't have felt so betrayed, so stupid, so heartbroken. She hated him, she hated them , and she couldn't believe she'd allowed him to reduce her to baby momma number 3.
"Yara, you're in control, just breathe." Ebony reminded her as she rubbed soothing circles into Yara's back.
Slowly, Yara began to nod and exhale. She was in control, she still had some say in this situation. He couldn't make her anything, he couldn't extend the hurt. She still had a choice.
She couldn't keep this child.
"What happened Yara?"
"She's pregnant Ebony, Mylin is having Jordan's baby."
"Shit."
Ebony fell silent as Yara's phone went off. Staring at the caller ID , she sighed in relief at Devin's name on her screen. Thank God it wasn't him.
"Hey Devin, is everything alright?"
She queried as she tried to decipher his reason for calling.
"It's great actually. I need a favor Yara."
A favor? She was really in no position to do anything for anyone, but Devin was her sister's boyfriend and he wouldn't ask if he didn't absolutely need her help.
"What's up?"
"I'm going to ask Aya to marry me and then I'm going to marry her. I know she'd want you there."
"SO, you want me to fly in for a proposal?"
"Well yes, a proposal and then a wedding. They're kind of back to back."
That was a new concept. Intrigued, Yara motioned for Ebony to take them home.
"You're going to have to break this down for me." She told Devin calmly and he did.
Yara smiled despite herself. She was glad Aya was happy and even thought it was selfish, she was overjoyed that she'd found happiness with the man that had detonated her relationship with Lucas. She knew Lucas still loved her sister and when Devin popped back into the picture it was the sweetest poetic justice. No one could have who they wanted except Aya of course. Aya always got what she wanted in the end. Some people were born lucky like that. Yara grew to stop resenting it once she'd left Colorado and her fortunes changed.
She finally had everything she wanted, the popularity, the money and the freedom. She wasn't marred by anything ; she had no past and no commitments. Jordan had changed that and then thrown her away.
She shouldn't have expected more, men in her life always disappointed her but she hated him in a way she'd never hated before. He'd made her second guess her opinions. He'd made her trust him just to leave her like this. She couldn't tell him because she was sure that he was more dangerous than Lucas or even her father.
Lucas didn't want their child.
Her father didn't want her.
They'd both chosen abortion but Jordan wouldn't.
She still loved him, cared for him and it wouldn't take him long to realize it. Unlike her father , he'd be happy for this child because it would tether them. Jordan was a collector and stupidly, she'd realized it too late.
She couldn't tell him, she couldn't keep this child.