The darkness dragged her down. Pulled her away from reality, from life as the deafening cries of her husband faded into nothing.
All was dark and then, a light appeared. Finding herself suddenly on her feet, she began to tread carefully towards the light. It was beckoning to her, luring her into its brightness but seemingly getting further and further away each time the Queen reached out to touch it.
At last she grew tired of the mysterious light's game and leapt into the air, arms reaching out to claim their prize...but they closed around nothing and Marian felt herself falling...falling...down into another abyss of darkness. She screamed and then she felt her body land.
Hesitantly, she stretched out her hands to feel the surface she appeared to have landed on. It was grass, soft and long. She opened her screwed up eyes and took in the scene. Above her was a clear blue sky, gentle rolling, white clouds floating around in a tranquil manner. Unhurried and relaxed.
Feeling a warm summers breeze brush her skin, Marian sat up and the strength seemed to magically return to her limbs. Rising to her feet, her nightgown fluttered around her ankles and her unbound hair swayed gently from side to side. Walking forward, she then suddenly sprang back, as a tall, willowy figure appeared out of no where. Also dressed in white, blonde curls flowing down her back, the figure turned and smiled.
"Meg!" Marian cried, picking up the skirt of her nightgown and darting forward, flying into her friend's arms. "What are you doing here?" She asked before looking around and raising an eyebrow "W-what am I doing here? Where exactly is here?"
Meg laughed, the same jovial laugh that Marian remembered well; causing her to smile.
"Truth be told, Marian! I do not know! But I like to think of it as heaven"
Her friend's eyes widened
"S-so I'm dead then?" She asked. Meg laughed again
"Well, you could say that" it was a cryptic answer, one Marian was far from satisfied by and she raised her eyebrows again, about to press on with further questions but Meg could see what she was about to do and spoke instead.
"Now is not the time for questions" she said gently as they reached a blanket. Marian stared around as they sat.
"I recognise this place..." she whispered and her friend nodded
"I'm glad you remember it!"
"It's where we had that picnic..."
Meg nodded again and beamed
"Wh-why am I..." Marian began but stopped as she heard the sound of childish laughter and turned her head to see Edward and Richard running towards her, dressed in gold doublets and beaming. She rose, ran to them, tears blurring her vision as she gathered the two boys into her arms, hugged them close.
"Oh, Edward! Richard! You are here! You are safe" as she spoke the words, her heart dropped. They were safe now...but if they were here...surely it meant that they were no longer on Earth...
She looked back at Meg for confirmation and her friend nodded sadly back at her.
"Oh my dears..." Marian whispered, hugging her nephews again "I'm so sorry...who did this to you?"
The boys drew back, the eldest shook his head
"We don't know, Aunt" he said "but we do know it wasn't you"
"No, never you" Richard agreed
"I'm glad you know that" their Aunt replied, wiping away her tears and smiling at them "now, can someone please tell me what I'm doing here!"
The boys took her hand, lead her back to the blanket and together they sat down. Marian stared at the three before her expectantly "well?" She asked.
"You are not dead" The youngest of the group said
"But you are not alive either" his brother added
"In other words, your mind and soul are still strong, Marian, but your body is failing you. An day in here is a mere minute in the normal world...and in just a few mortal seconds you are to be lost to your family and friends forever" Meg stated, reaching out and placing a hand atop the Queen's "We are here to tell you to keep fighting, just for a little longer. Your family needs you. England needs you"
"Are you even real?" Marian enquired "Is this real or is it simply an elaborate hallucination that has taken over my mind while I'm tittering on the brink of death"
"Think of it how you will" Meg replied, again her answer was a cryptic one, "but heed our words"
"Fight Marian" Richard urged "Fight for us, for your family"
"Please, Aunt" Marian looked at her eldest nephew "You have won all of the battles that life has thrown at you and while none of us can escape death entirely, you can most certainly keep it at bay for longer"
"The boys speak wisely" Meg said, nodding and then suddenly springing up from the floor, holding out her hand "Come" she invited "Walk with me"
Marian smiled, taking the outstretched hand and also rising from the blanket before the two women linked arms and began to walk across the never ending field together.
"I suppose you have questions" Meg asked and Marian nodded "about what Harry told you?"
"Yes...is it true?"
Meg sighed, looked at Marian and nodded, a small smile on her face.
"Yes, it's true...I have always loved you Marian but I know you shall never love me"
"I do love you, Meg" Marian started
"Though not in the way I would wish"
"I suppose" Marian muttered quietly "I am sorry"
Meg laughed a little
"There is nothing to be sorry for, Marian. It is one of the curses of the world, that we cannot choose who we love. Lord knows it would be much easier if we could! But as it is, I love you, you love Richard and that is just how it is...all I care for is your happiness and you have been happy haven't you?" Marian nodded, offered her friend a small smile.
"I have..."
"Good"
They continued to stroll, reminiscing over old times together until suddenly a heavenly sound filled the sky, rather like the strum of a lute or harp. Either way it was beautiful and Marian looked up to the sky, smiling.
"I suppose that is a signal that my time here is almost at an end?"
"Yes." Meg replied, face now rather solemn "and this is where we must say goodbye forever"
"Oh, surely not forever!" Marian cried "You visited me once when at Middleham! I'm sure you can do it again!"
Her friend shook her head, smiled sadly
"I'm afraid not...so here is where we part" after a moment of slight hesitation, she suddenly leaned forward, pressed a soft kiss to Marian's lips before drawing back and blushing slightly "goodbye" she whispered. Marian now darted forward, wrapping her arms around the other woman's neck and hugging her tightly.
"Goodbye, Meg. I shall miss you madly!...keep the boys safe for me"
Meg nodded and Marian could see the darkness slowly beginning to take over the realm she was in. She was ready to go, ready to fight for her life but something suddenly jerked her from her peace.
It was another laugh. A child's laugh. And this time it didn't belong to Edward or Richard, it belonged to...it belonged to...
Picking up her skirts, Marian ran like a mad woman back towards the blanket, but just as the light had done at first it seemed to slip further and further away from her with each step she took. Finally coming into full view, it was clear that there were no longer two boys sitting there, but three and Marian knew exactly who he was. She was about to scream, about to reach out, to make one last leap...but before she could, the darkness consumed her, pulling her down once more into oblivion and the last thing she saw was Meg, shaking her head sadly as tears rolled down her pale cheeks.
༒༒༒
Just as before, at first it was dark but then small shards of light came into view and the Queen of England's eyes slowly opened. She felt the air return to her lungs, managed to take in a large, welcome breath of air and a little of her strength returned to her aching limbs.
Then, she became aware of something grasping her hand tightly and, although it caused her great pain, she managed to turn her head to the side to see Richard gazing down at her, tears of both grief and immense relief flowing in an unhindered torrent down his face.
"Marian" he whispered "oh, my love you didn't leave me..."
Marian mustered a small smile
"It seems I did not, Richard" she said, feebly squeezing his hand "I'm here after all"
He let out a small laugh, bent to lightly kiss her forehead.
"I thought all hope was lost...you stopped breathing...but then, then God appeared to smile on me for just a moment and your fever broke...I haven't left your side since"
"When was that?"
"This morn, my sweet. Tis now nigh upon 12, is almost a new day"
"And with a new day brings new hope" Marian said but her husband's expression was suddenly pained again and he shook his head. A rush of panic began to rise within the Queen and her voice rose a little. "Richard? Richard what has happened? How fare the children?"
At that he began to sob, loudly and violently as if his heart had just been shattered into a million pieces. In truth, it had been.
"I'm so sorry..." he whispered "so sorry, Mari"
"What is it?" She asked again, now in a more demanding tone. Richard raised his head.
"The boys...Ned and Dickon...they caught the fever...."
"No...sweet Jesus no..."
"They had it badly, Marian, almost as bad as you and they fought just as you did...fought so so hard..." He continued and the Queen somehow found the strength to push herself up from the covers, placing her free hand on the King's cheek.
"And what of them?" She asked, not letting the darkest of thoughts to enter her mind, letting herself hope.
"Ned...Ned lives"
"Oh, thank God they are saved!" Marian cried and then Richard shook his head.
"No...no my love..." his voice broke "not both of them"
Marian felt the world go silent, then felt all her emotions cry out at once. It was in that moment that her heart broke in two.
"Dickon" she whispered and Richard nodded "he lives does he not?" He cried out once more, now shaking his head.
"He's gone to the angels...h-he's dead..."
Marian pulled her hand from her husband's bringing her knees up to her chest and shaking her head vehemently.
"No!" She said with increasing volume and sorrow "No! No! No! Not Dickon! Not my little boy! No! No he lives...he lives he lives!" She let out a deafening wail and collapsed back onto the pillows, curling up as she had done the night her mother died "oh, my baby...my sweet sweet boy...my little Dickon...no..."
"I'm so sorry" Richard sobbed, placing a hand on her shoulder while his body trembled violently, as did his voice "he passed this morning...at half past two...he-he died in my arms, Mari"
Marian let out another wail and curled up even tighter.
So it had been true what she saw. The laughter she had heard whilst in that other world had been Dickon's, the little dark haired boy that sat so happily among his cousins truly had been him...no...it could not be...not little Dickon, so timid sometimes yet full of life with dreams that he longed to achieve. He should grow into a fine young man who would lead armies and sire a large family, create his own dynasty and legacy...surely this was not true...he was but a child, only 8 years old, he was not meant to die, not yet, not now, not for a very long time, no...it could not be...
But it was.
༒༒༒
Ignoring the advice of the physicians and defying all protocol, at one o'clock (once their crying had slightly subsided), Richard swept a shaking Marian into his arms and carried her from the bedchamber, through Westminster to see her son one last time.
Throughout the whole journey she hid her tear sodden face in his shirt, thinking that if she refused to acknowledge reality, if she hid from the world then the pain would go, that all would be right and little Dickon would come running down the hallway, bright and well, arms outstretched to greet his mother.
But nothing could change the present and eventually, the King and Queen arrived a their son's chambers.
After dismissing the crying attendants, Richard locked the door and slowly lowered his wife to the floor, keeping a hold on her arm in case she collapsed.
Marian's eyes travelled around the room. The windows were shut, the shutters bolted and the heavy curtains drawn across them. The room was dark but for the candles that provided a little light, illuminated the bed and the small, helpless figure that lay dead upon it.
Marian let out a small gasp, stumbled toward the bed before she sank down onto the covers and gathered her youngest son into her arms, pressing desperate kisses to his mop of dark curls.
"I have killed you...oh my sweet son I have your blood on my hands...I have murdered my own dear boy...oh, come back to me, my Dickon" she wept, cradling him the way she did when he was a babe "come back to me my sweet dear boy...come back" but the child did not move, lay limp in his mothers arms as her tears of anguish began to drop onto his stone cold face that was as white as the clouds she had seen in the other world...
She let out a shrill shriek, as a fresh wave of grief overcame her, one so terrifying, so full of pain and suffering that anyone who was in earshot immediately felt their hearts fill with sorrow and sympathy.
Richard moved to the bed, falling down beside his wife and taking one of Dickon's hands in his own while he wept.
"Oh, my son. My boy...my dear little boy..."
The King and Queen clung onto their youngest son, clung onto each other as they mourned their loss, weeping and wailing until their voices could take no more so that their grief was reduced to silent sobs.
And just like that, the light went out at the court of Richard III and Queen Marian.