Songs for the chapter : This man by KJ Apa.
Galliyan by Ankit Tiwari.
Genius by (my favorites) LSD.
* * * *
Shehnaaz remembers a time in her life, when her heart was open, when she looked at the world around her in amazement with wide eyes, a big smile showing her missing tooth, she was free like a breeze of spring time, her child heart, dancing like a bird song, trusted people around her.
But when she got older her heart bolted tight, with only few of her trusted people inside, her people.
And then one day she met him, and he just barged in without any warning or notice and introduced a world full of dreams, a possibility of future, their own world of trust, faith and friendship.
She hesitated at the door because she wants to do it right, she doesn't want to mess it up by thinking something that is not true, the woman can be anyone, an old friend, a relative, someone who needs comfort, anyone.
She looks at him and her heart flutters as she realized she trust him wholeheartedly.
She can see in his body language, the way his back is stiff and straight, the way his hands are on her shoulder, and not around her, she smiles as she notices how he was distancing himself from her without even realizing he was doing it, and how awkward it looks.
"Sidharth."
She knocked on the glass door, and his posture relaxed as his head turns toward her and he got a chance to detach himself from her.
"Baby."
There’s a small smile that pulls against Sidharth's lips as he moves to meet Shehnaaz halfway, but he doesn’t seem to realize that he’s doing it. The other woman in the room sees it though - of course she does – but it’s the twinkle in his eyes and the almost adoring tilt of his head that stops her in her tracks.
"Hey." He pulls her in a hug, their bodies touching from chest to knees, he relished in the feeling of her small body against his, he caresses her back, Shehnaaz sighed as she pushed herself into his chest, feeling the rhythm of his precious beating heart, and loving the musky and woody scent of his body.
See, there is no awkwardness, no stiffness and no distance between them.
She raised her head and looked up at him, while he rubs circles on her waist as he smile down at her, he leaned down before his lips moved over hers, the kiss was gentle, she stood on her toes while grabbing Sidharth's shoulders for better access, Sidharth deepened the kiss, his tongue invading her mouth, stealing her breath, he was going to lift her off the floor, when suddenly they heard an obnoxious sound of throat clearing.
They pulled back, Shehnaaz blushed and hid her face in her chest, he pushed her face up while smiling at her reaction and gave her two or three chaste kisses, then turned around with her in his arms.
"Damn!!" The woman looked at them, while fanning herself, "That was hot. Did you really forgot I was also in the room?"
Shehnaaz now recovered from the heady kiss, looked at the woman who was hugging her Sidharth a few moments ago, she was taller than her, and has green eyes, she looked classy and pretty, standing there in a black belted dress pants, with white twist hem top tucked in, while sporting a flirtatious smile on her face.
Sidharth chuckled, "No, I just didn't gave a shit. I just wanted to greet my girl properly."
Shehnaaz blushed but looked at the woman, finally Sidharth introduced, "Shehnaaz, this is Natasha, my friend, she studied with me when I was in MIT."
Shehnaaz smiled politely, "Hi."
"And this is Shehnaaz, my beautiful, lovely, sweet, kind and smart Girlfriend." He said while looking down at her, her gaze soft and filled with adoration.
Something passed in Natasha's eyes, that Shehnaaz thought she imagined, and her smile looked forced as she said, "Oh so you are the lucky girl, it's so good to meet you."
"Oh no, I'm the lucky one here." Sidharth corrected her.
"Sidharth, you have always been a sweet talker, no wonder girls can't get enough of you." She said while putting her hand on his bicep, "Oh what's that?" She saw the box in Shehnaaz's hand.
"Oh, they are muffins, I baked them for Sidharth." Shehnaaz said while offering the box to Sidharth, but before he can take it from her, Natasha grabbed the box, "No, no, no. Sidharth no wonder you are looking a little buff, your girlfriend is fattening you up, eh?" She put the box away from the amused Sidharth while Shehnaaz looked at her with irritation, her left eye twitch.
"Now I'm here, I'm gonna look out for your healthy diet, sorry Shehnaaz no sweets for him. He never really liked them."
Shehnaaz bristled at her words, but her irritation increased as she saw Sidharth was smiling at her, she simmer down her anger, she doesn't want to embarrass him by saying something to his friend in her anger she might not take back.
Before Shehnaaz can retort a reply, she bulldozed between them, while grabbing their hands, "Let's go have dinner together, I'm starving."
* * * *
The dinner didn't go as eventful as the rest of her day, and at the end she was convinced that Natasha is going to be a problem.
She still wants to give her benefit of the doubt, but there is just something about her that rub Shehnaaz the wrong way, Shehnaaz is not a hateful or vindictive person, everyone knows how kind and sweet she is, but the way Natasha has been behaving at the restaurant, like she knows Sidharth better than her, hasn't sat well with her.
On the other hand, she doesn't know what to think about Sidharth, he has been calm, like he didn't find it odd that her "Friend" was flirting with him, touching him, and every time Shehnaaz tried to make a conversation she would cut her off, and icing on the cake, she kept on talking about Sidharth's ex girlfriends and partners.
Was he that oblivious of her?
"You're awfully quiet today" his voice snapped her out of her angry thoughts, he closes the door of their room.
Shehnaaz's eyebrow raises just a notch, her gaze moving on his chest as he shed his vest coat then dress shirt, "Am I?" She challenges.
"Jealous?" Sidharth replies with ease. There’s an answering challenge in his own eyes—as if daring Shehnaaz to deny the obvious, Shehnaaz looked at him sharply, so he was aware of what had been happening on the dinner, she wants to smack the smirk off of his face, but she responds by leaning just on tiptoes and pressing her lips to Sidharth's.
The kiss, as light and quick as it was, completely wipes the smirk off of his lips, and Shehnaaz ducks out of his reach. She walks a few steps away towards the ensuite before turning toward Sidharth with a benevolent smile.
"Why would I be" Shehnaaz says softly, the smile on her lips turning just a tiny bit spine-chilling, "when I know you’re coming right back home to me?"
Sidharth blinks at that, and he almost forgets where he is. By the time he slowly process what Shehnaaz has just said, she was gone into the bathroom. He shakes his head and goes after her, a resigned—awed—smile tugging at his lips.
* * * *
Tangled in his sheets, a sleepy smile adorning her face while the morning sunlight kissed her creamy skin, Sidharth couldn’t help but think that Shehnaaz is the most beautiful woman he had ever known.
When his name escapes her lips in a puffy breath, he smiles deeply, leaning in to kiss her forehead. He starts at the sudden impact of frigid toes between his feet, but then he just chuckles into her hair. There’s a strange stirring within him at how nice it feels to be the one sought for warmth for once. And even as her fingers unconsciously dance over his naked chest, he groans as visions of last night came into his mind.
He knew she was jealous, and as much as he had enjoyed her discomfort towards Natasha's over friendly behavior, he also wanted to tell her that, she doesn't have to worry about him, when it comes to any other woman.
The only woman he wants is Shehnaaz.
But the way Shehnaaz claimed him, by saying that he always comes home to her had blown his mind, and that's true he keeps returning to her every night, intact, always a silent, steady promise that he’s here to stay.
He stops her grazing fingers with his own, pressing the palm of his hand to the back of hers. He keeps them there for a second, before sliding their hands up his chest to rest above his beating heart. She’ll never admit it, but he knows she likes to feel his pulse, to make sure this isn’t a dream when she wakes. Sometimes, he hardly knows himself. His calloused thumb runs circles over the veins on her hand.
"You’re staring" she mumbled, looking at him through hooded eyes.
He grinned. "I am" he said before pulling her into his arms.
She sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into him. He kissed the top of her head while he wondered for the millionth time, how on earth he had gotten this lucky. He closed his eyes while Shehnaaz absently drew patterns on his chest with her fingers.
"Oh wow, you’re really warm. I mean, you’re always warm—I mean hot—I mean warm." Her eyes snap shut as she shakes her head. Not even up two minutes and she’s already flustered and blushing and…very much like his Shehnaaz.
"I’m just going to stop talking…noooww" she yawns.
"Hm. That would be my preference" he says before giving her a proper good morning kiss.
* * * *
A shriek broke Shehnaaz out of her quest of finding an appropriate gown from the dresses scattered all over the room around her, for today's evening party, she blinked and strode towards the library from where his loud voice is coming.
She entered the room, glance around and found Sidharth standing with his hands on his waist, staring at the other side of the room, lip curled back. On the other, a familiar crow stood on the window bench, tilting its head back and forth.
"Shehnaaz, what is that?"
"A close friend of mine" Shehnaaz said, stepping towards the counter. The crow’s attention fixated on her and he let out a short caw. In turn, Shehnaaz cooed lightly back.
"Why is it in our home?!" Sidharth demanded, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.
"I left the window open" she replied, gesturing to the window, which was indeed still as open as she’d left it. "He’s smart enough to get in on his own."
"You didn’t think it would be worthwhile to warn me that you were allowing a rat into the house?"
"Craw is a bird, not a rat" Shehnaaz corrected with a shake of her head. "And here I thought you prided yourself on your knowledge."
"What does my machines have to do with that beast?"
"He’s not a beast" Shehnaaz said, putting a hand over her heart as though the idea offended her. "He’s a very well-behaved bird. Aren’t you, Craw?"
With a rustle, Craw took off from the counter top and thrashed his wings until he came to perch on Shehnaaz's shoulder. He gave a short warble before he took a loose strand of her hair into his beak and pulled gently.
"Yes, hello" she laughs at the bird, reaching up to rub his breast with one finger. Craw let out an appreciative trill.
Sidharth recoiled in horror, letting out a shudder. "How can you touch it? It’s disgusting!"
"No. It's not." Shehnaaz glares at him, she grabs a packet from behind a book, opened it and placed it on the counter. Craw hopped off her shoulder to right away to gorge himself on the stuff.
"He’s welcome to come and go as he pleases; I’ll certainly keep the window open for him, and he’s always found his way back to me." Shehnaaz turned back to Sidharth and fixed him with a fond smile. "Does that sound familiar to you, Sidharth?"
Sidharth's face had taken on a nasty, scrunched scowl. "Are you comparing me to that winged ink stain?"
"Why, yes. You’re both pleasant company, though, I’m afraid I lean towards Craw."
"And why is that?" Sidharth asked, brow furrowing.
"He’s smart enough to not give his attention to other females" Shehnaaz said, tone dripping sarcasm.
Sidharth’s expression tightened up into a glower that screamed envy. Shehnaaz could only describe it as cute. Quaint, even.
"I suppose I might as well leave you with your bird then" he hissed. "Clearly I can’t compete."
"Something you can’t do?" Shehnaaz taunted. "I don’t believe it."
"Ha" Sidharth snap at her before storming back out into the living room, leaving Shehnaaz and Craw alone.
Shehnaaz was suddenly struck with an uncommon ailment: regret. She was familiar with Sidharth's hypocritical outburst at best, she knew. Sidharth made jabs at her often enough when she even smiles at some guy, and she also retaliate at best. That sort of exchange was par for the course in their relationship. And yet Shehnaaz felt a tug of guilt and sympathy seeing Sidharth leave as he had, potentially hurt. She never enjoyed hurting him. Maybe she had been a bit too mean.
"His ego is easily bruised" she told Craw. "I’d best appease him."
Craw looked at her for a second before squawking what seemed to be acknowledgment and returning to his meal. Shehnaaz couldn’t help but smile. Craw might not have talked, but he always knew what to say.
She stepped into the doorway once more and found Sidharth sitting on the sofa, a box in his hands and pouting. He looked utterly adorable and were it anyone else, Shehnaaz might haven't bothered checking on the person. Sidharth , however, was not anyone else.
"Sidharth" she said, walking over to take a seat next to him, and realized the box he was holding is the one she had stored muffins in.
"Had enough fun with your rat?" he asked, keeping his gaze pointedly forward.
"I suppose so" Shehnaaz said, leaning back and crossing her legs. "He’s a lovely creature, but he’s very terse."
"I thought that’s what you liked about him" Sidharth said, passive-aggressive beyond what Shehnaaz would have normally tolerated. "Hearing his shrieks instead of my jabber."
"Come now." Shehnaaz leaned towards him with a slight smile. "We’d both be bored to tears without each other’s intellectual stimulation."
"And physical" Sidharth muttered.
"And physical stimulation" Shehnaaz repeated while blushing profusely, "But you like my rambling more. Don't you?"
"I suppose so" he mumbled.
"Did you eat the muffins?"
"Yes."
"Did you liked them?"
"Loved them."
"Wouldn't you get fat if you eat them?"
"I don't care."
After that neither of them spoke for a long moment, but a laugh passed across them, just a snicker as they released tension. The kind of exchange that reminded them that, yes, they were as close as any married couple. A moment of synchronization before Shehnaaz remembered what he’d meant to express.
"I didn’t intend to hurt you" she said, breaking the mood.
"Please, don’t insult me" Sidharth said, tipping his head back. "You don’t honestly think I was hurt by your comments, do you?"
"Not entirely" Shehnaaz said, whether it was a completely true statement or not. "Nonetheless I believe it’s worth making it known that I take no pleasure in seeing your pain."
"Ditto." Sidharth pulls her and they both lay on the sofa, snuggled together.
"You don't have to feel threatened by any female, that has been or may become part of my life, you are the only female I want and need. Okay?"
"Hmm hm.... I just... Happiness is something I never believed I could capture, nor did I care to try," she started, picking each word with care. "It was a vague idea for me after all, I believe, Sidharth, that you’ve brought me the closest to my happiness mixture than anyone or anything else. One taste of the feeling you’ve given me and I couldn’t stop. Call it a pleasant addiction of sorts."
"Are you trying to say, I'm your addiction." He smirks. She smacks his chest but doesn't deny.
"I just... Don't want you to feel trapped. — He was going to deny when she stopped him. — listen to me. Yesterday I saw you with her, you were happy. The way you both talked about your profession, the machines, codes, all that mumbo jumbo, it was refreshing to see you talking about your passion like that, but.... I felt left out and inediquate because You can't talk like that with me. My babbling might be cute, but it's nonsense most of the time.....and yeah, it can get tiring sometimes, doesn't it?"
"Will you please stop underestimating my girlfriend" He exclaimed, startling her, "Jesus!!!! My girlfriend is not lacking in any way or form, do you get that? Listen to me. —he flips and hovers over her, glaring down at her, she looked up wide eyed.— "hasn't I told you before, that I don't care we are different, in fact that's the main reason why we are so attached, —he looks at her softly and gives her a chaste kiss, —" I can find thousands to talk about machines and codes and mumbo-jumbo, but I only have one Shehnaaz, who babbles my ears off, and I don't wanna change it for the world."
Shehnaaz gave a short, throaty laugh as a soft smile came over her face, even her brow lifted for a gentler gaze to complete the effect. She felt like crying happy tears.
"Flatterer" she purred, shaking her head.
"It’s only the truth" Sidharth told her, tipping forward to kiss her once again. How could he not when Shehnaaz looked so pleasant?
The kiss lasted a few moments before Shehnaaz broke the contact, only to rest her head against the junction between Sidharth's neck and shoulder.
Sidharth had expected her to say more, but the silence wasn’t unwelcome and if she still had any doubts he will keep on bursting her misconception balloon their whole life. A calm had begun to exude from Shehnaaz. Sidharth found himself sinking into a state of serenity the longer they stayed where they were. His shoulders dropped, his back relaxed, and he let his head rest against Shehnaaz's front, in return Shehnaaz hugged him to herself. They could have very easily slept that way, with the steady rhythm of their breathing. It would have been wise to prepare for tonight's party, but just a nap wouldn’t hurt.
Just as she allowed her eyes to close, Shehnaaz felt the distinct motion of Sidharth smiling against her neck. Those wonderful feel-good hormones stirred in her stomach. If the bird decided to disturb them now, well, she wasn’t above shutting the window for a while.
* * * *