CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR;
BEYOND THE VEIL
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Everyone made it out of the Department of Mysteries alright, if one looked past the casualties of Sirius Black and Atticus Forbes.
Of course, Cassie could not look past these losses. In fact, the deaths of her father and cousin seemed to be the only thing her mind could hyper-fixate on, much to her displeasure. Atticus had disappeared during the battle of the Department of Mysteries and been presumed dead. Sirius had never reappeared on the other side of the veil, though Cassie had waited for him until Remus gently took hold of her and brought her back to Hogwarts.
She wanted to be anywhere but that stupid school, under the protection of Dumbledore. Where was his 'protection' when Cedric died? Where was the 'greatest wizard of all time' when the Death Eaters broke into the Ministry? Where was Dumbledore and his stupid wand-waving when Sirius and Cassie were battling Bellatrix?
All of it was unfair.
Worst of all, Cassie didn't have Atticus, like she did last time. She didn't have him to curl up and drink hot cocoa and cry herself out with. Nobody at Hogwarts even came close to Atticus Forbes, though everyone seemed to be grieving just as much as Cassie, which was absolutely unjust. None of them were friends with him, so why did they get to cry over him? None of them were there when he died, were they? No. Cassie was. She may not have seen it with her own two eyes, but she was a bit preoccupied with watching her father's death.
Cassie did not leave her dormitory once for the rest of term. She did not receive a single owl from her mother, though many flew in from Remus and Atticus's step-brother (which was strange, as Cassie had never spoken to him in her life), of which all went without reply. She had lost track of time, but she was pretty sure it had been nearing a week when someone had the nerve to speak to her.
It was Hermione.
"Luna really wants to see you," she had said in a quiet and gentle voice. "She says she wants to talk about Atticus."
"Tell her I'll see if I can fit it into my schedule," Cassie had replied dryly, wringing the water from her shower out of her hair and climbing into bed. A copy of the Daily Prophet sat neatly on her pillow.
"Figured you might want to read today's edition," said Hermione with a meek smile, before crawling hastily back into her bed. Cassie picked up the paper and peered down at the headline;
MASS MURDERER, SIRIUS BLACK – CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES!
She turned to Hermione, gripping the newspaper so tightly her nails ripped holes in the edges. "Why on earth," she said slowly, her voice dripping with suppressed rage, "would I want to read this?"
Hermione had gone pure white. "I only thought–"
"–thought what? That I'd want to see the Ministry's pathetic excuse as an apology for their non-stop accusations against my father over the past fourteen years?"
"I-I just– I dunno, wanted to help–"
"Do me a favour," said Cassie, balling up the newspaper and tossing it to the end of her bed. "Never try to help me again."
And she ripped the hangings around her bed closed, shutting herself out.
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Cassie was no idiot. It didn't take much brains to know that everyone was talking about her. She could practically feel their pitying stares from through the walls.
The fear of facing Harry was what kept her in her dormitory for so long, truth be told. She did not know nor want to find out his feelings toward her – and for good reason, right? He had loved Sirius like a father, and Harry and Atticus were... friends, so Harry was the only exception to Cassie's rule about her being the only one allowed to cry over them. Eventually, she knew she would have to face him, but she just tried to push it as far into the future as possible, though who knew how much further Cassie's future went?
There was a war advancing. Sirius, Atticus, and Cedric just happened to be the first victims of the second Wizarding War. Cassie knew there would be more; more casualties, more battles, more pain caused by this unending reign of terror Voldemort inflicted upon Wizardkind. Her mind ached as she thought about the grim future wizards and witches were to face within a few years. And then, ripping her from her thoughts;
"Alright there, Cassie?"
It was a peppy voice with a tone of activeness held behind it, giving the air of its speaker being bouncing back and forth on her feet anxiously. All of her dorm mates had developed the sense to not bother Cassie whilst her hangings were drawn, so who did this intruder think they were?
Cassie wrenched the curtains back and was completely and entirely dumbfounded to see Ginny Weasley doing push-ups on her floor.
"Having a good morning?" said Ginny through labored huffs of air, now moving to sit-up position and lifting her head to her knees.
Cassie opened and closed her mouth as she watched the youngest Weasley bodybuilding on her dorm room floor. "What?" she finally said, following Ginny with her eyes as she rolled over to a plank position.
"Muggle exercise. Strange, isn't it?" said Ginny, her voice strained. "Decided to work on my physical build for Quidditch next year, don't you think?"
"Why on my floor? Don't you have your own dormitory?" said Cassie, eyeing Ginny warily. "And why is Muggle exercising so weird-looking?"
Ginny sat up on her knees and shrugged. "No clue. Quite tiring, too. I don't suggest this whatsoever." Nevertheless, she stood and began doing jumping jacks.
"Ginny," said Cassie seriously, a disbelieving look on her face. The younger witch stopped working out and looked to Cassie, before exhaling a defeated huff.
"Well, to be honest," she said, moving to sit at the edge of Cassie's bed, "all the girls in my dorm are tired of my working out. And.. Hermione said you needed someone to–"
"Hermione was wrong," said Cassie flatly, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them. "I'm alright. I was upset for a while, but I'm fine now."
Ginny studied Cassie for a moment, an impassive look on her face. "So you don't want to talk about it," she deducted finally, raising her eyebrows. "Fair enough. I mean, I was one of Atticus's best friends, so no one better to talk about him with than me or Luna..."
As angry as Cassie would have felt had this been any other student, she only frowned. Ginny had a point. Though she wasn't there to see their friendship, Cassie did notice how protective Atticus had grown over both Ginny and Luna. Cassie inhaled sharply and exhaled with a bitter laugh. "I suppose you were," she said. "His best friend, I mean. I tried to keep up when he rambled about Quidditch, but it was like listening to Snape drone on about bezoars and goat horns; boring."
Ginny laughed quietly. "Yeah, s'actually one of the reasons we became friends," she admitted. "He wanted someone to talk to about Quidditch after Cedric..."
"...died?" Cassie supplied with a quirked eyebrow. Ginny nodded.
"Sure," she said. "He said you were no good when it came to his obsession – first of all, how are you not obsessed with Quidditch? You've grown up with Harry, Ron, Atticus, Cedric, Fred, George, and me – four of which were their House's Seekers – and you're just.. not a fan?"
The corners of Cassie's constantly downturned lips raised in the slightest of smiles. "I've looked into it," she simpered, "mostly when we were going to the World Cup, but just so I knew what was going on. Over the summer, I actually planned on trying out for the team, but then Umbridge came along.."
"..and was an unfair bitch who treated you like rubbish?" Ginny said with a contained smirk, raising an eyebrow.
"Exactly," chuckled Cassie, shaking her head. "But next year, I'm still planning on trying out for Chaser. Maybe Keeper, unless Ron's still got that in the bag," she added with a smug smirk.
Ginny snorted. "Yeah, right," she said sarcastically. "But hey, you've got it in good with Harry, and he's basically the guy to get in with, if you want to make it on the team."
Cassie's smile fell slowly at the mention of Harry and she sucked in her cheeks, averting her eyes. Ginny cleared her throat and began to explore Cassie's dormitory, having never been in before, and found it quite fascinating. Every once in a while, she'd let out a little comment about Cassie's worn-out bedsheets or her messy trunk. The redhead continued to wander around the room, picking up meaningless items, until her fingers grasped a familiar shard of a shattered mirror. Cassie let out a soft sound of indignation and used her wand to send a small spark into the palm of Ginny's hand, forcing her to drop the mirror with a start, allowing Cassie to Wingardium Leviosa it back to her own clutches.
"Sorry," she said quietly, peering into the mirror and back at her own sunken reflection, "it's just.. this was the first thing my dad gave me. A two-way mirror, you know, so I could just say his name and he would appear on the other–side–" Her voice failed her and she inhaled sharply, blinking away the stinging behind her eyes. She dropped the mirror onto her bed with as much haste as Ginny had, though Cassie hadn't even been shocked. She just couldn't bear to look at those unsettling grey eyes in her reflection. They reminded her too much of her father.
"It's cruel, isn't it," she continued, her voice leaving her lips in a broken whisper, "how little time I got to spend with him? And–and in the few years I had with him, I spent most of it doubting his innocence." Ginny's shocked reaction pressurized Cassie's guilty conscience more than it had already been, seeming to constrict her breathing and dampen the room. "It's true. I-I think Umbridge... manipulated me, or-or something, because I actually thought.." She broke off, shaking her head and pinching the bridge of her nose in an attempt to stop the tears from pouring over. "'Course, Atticus knew. He always knew. I m-mean, he never really got over Cedric, you know? He was always forcing a smile–for my sake, I guess, and I appreciated it more than I let on.. And now he's – both of them are gone, and I'll never get the chance to tell either of them that I cared for them." She blinked, her lashes glistening with unwept tears, and sniffed. Somehow, she managed a croaky laugh. "I suppose he's having a ball with Cedric now, isn't he?"
"They knew," said Ginny. "They knew you cared for them." Cassie wanted to find something to get upset over, something to blame Ginny for, but she just couldn't. Ginny hadn't done any wrong. In fact, she'd done exactly what Cassie had needed; provided a shoulder to cry on, without promising that everything would be okay, because they both knew it was an empty pledge that held no truth.
"Sorry," said Cassie, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her robes and inhaling. She blinked a few times. "I shouldn't be crying like this. It's been – I mean, the time for grief is–"
"There's no constraint on mourning, Cass," said Ginny, tilting her head forward and scooting in. She offered her side to Cassie, who gratefully took the chance and leaned her head onto Ginny's shoulder. "That's what Mum told me once, when our great aunt Muriel's.. what, her fourth husband, I think? Well, he died, and Mum expected us to be in a right fit over it. I mean, we weren't, but– anyway, what I'm trying to say is you don't have to squash down all your pain so you can be there for everyone else when they need you. You've got to allow yourself to be sad, alright?"
"Maybe I'll try that," said Cassie, managing a bitter laugh and wiping under her eyes. "Thanks for this, Gin. I needed it more than I thought, huh?"
"Anytime," said Ginny, offering her a crooked smile.
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"How did you manage to hold this off for so long?"
"I don't know, I forgot."
"You forgot that we're leaving Hogwarts today," said Hermione disbelievingly. "It just slipped your mind? As did packing...?"
"Yes," huffed Cassie, blowing a strand of hair out of her face as she stripped her bedsheets and attempted to stuff them into her already overflowing Gryffindor-themed trunk. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help me? C'mon, there's got to be some spell to help fold clothes!"
Hermione debated whether or not it was worth it to let Cassie deal with the consequences on her own, but took pity on the girl and sighed heavily. "Move aside, move aside," she muttered, taking out her wand. "Wingardium Leviosa."
Cassie watched with her hands on her hips as the clothes removed themselves from her trunk and re-folded in a much neater fashion than she had done. She smiled and clapped her hands as the last shoe fit perfectly into its spot in the trunk. "See? That wasn't so hard!"
"No, Cassie," said Hermione, biting the inside of her cheek, "the hard part is going to be getting you downstairs."
Cassie froze, her eyebrows raised and a faint frown on her lips. She turned to Hermione. "Forgot about that part," she said, squinting her eyes. "Hm. Perhaps I'll just stay here over the summer."
"Oh, now I can't allow that," said Hermione, frowning. "Your mother's anxious to see you at Grimmauld–"
"All the more reason to stay here!" Cassie called over her shoulder, turning around to unpack her trunk. Hermione magicked the lock closed again and Cassie spun to see her looking quite disapproving, her finger tapping impatiently on her forearm and foot matching the rhythm. "What?"
"You're going home to see your mother, Cassie," pressed Hermione, seizing the handle of the trunk and pulling it toward the door, "whether you like it or not."
"Well, I certainly have no choice, do I, if Hermione's forcing me to go," said Cassie sarcastically. Hermione sent her a glare and Cassie merely rolled her eyes, picking up her wand and moving to follow Hermione out of the dormitory.
If Cassie had thought her descending the staircase during O.W.L.s was bad, this easily took the cake.
The common room was already bustling with anxious and bittersweet people, tears already being shed over a few seventh years' last time at Hogwarts, but all of the feverish commotion seemed to have been hit with a pause button as Cassie stood awkwardly at the foot of the staircase. She averted her gaze and began to pick at the hem of her Muggle sweater, swallowing a lump down and willing it to stay at bay.
Hermione cleared her throat and took Cassie by the hand, charging toward a familiar corner of the common room, dropping the trunk by the fireplace. Cassie, too taken aback to have stopped herself, followed with a stunned expression on her face.
"Morning, boys," said Hermione brightly, collapsing onto the couch next to Ron, who scooted over to make room, though his eyes were still on Cassie.
"Er.. hey," she said, keeping her eyes downcast and on the velvet and patterned rug adorning the floor of the common room. Her gaze flickered up for a millisecond to see Harry and Ron's hopeful gapes. Her lips pressed into a thin line to keep them from betraying her and turning up in a small smile – had they really missed her so much?
"Morning, Cassie," said Ron.
"How are you?" said Harry, however tentatively.
"In between," said Cassie, dropping to the floor and sitting with her back pressed against the wall, facing the other three. "Not quite all the way fine, but not.. not so bad. In between. Like.. you know when you're reaching for the Snitch and it's almost in your grasp, maybe, and–and you know that the game's almost over, and the roar of the crowd's so deafening, but you can't hear it over your own heartbeat because you know you're so close to winning?"
"Yeah?" said Harry eagerly. A trace of a smile danced on her lips and she shrugged.
"Yeah, I feel more like I got hit with a Bludger."