Harry's POV
What. are. The. odds.
Of course with my luck, she would show up here when I was with Oakland. She pulled me into a hug, as I stood there, straight as a board, not knowing what to do. I wasn't expecting this whatsoever, so I was at a mental block with how to handle seeing someone I'd expected never to see again.
She kept her arms around my neck, looking at me with big, doll-like, brown eyes as if she didn't feel the tension that was radiating between everyone.
"What are you doing here? We seem to not be able to miss each other." Sloan asked me with a flirtatious tone dripping from her lips. It was as if her entire head was filled with air, and she couldn't pick up on how uninterested I was. I peeled her arms from my shoulders, dropping them before responding.
"I know. What are the odds." I said with facetious sarcasm. "I'm here with my friends, Sloan." a monotone attitude flowing out of my mouth. My face stayed flat, showing no sign of interest or wanting to exceed this conversation any farther. Trying to hint to her that she should leave us be, but she couldn't pick up on it, lingering around causing an uncomfortable energy. I looked behind her, meeting eyes with Oakland who looked like she was just slapped across the face.
I know I just called her a friend, and it hurt me just as much to do so, but I couldn't call her by any other title. That's all we were as of right now. Friends. We couldn't exceed anything else, because she would soon inevitably leave, and I wouldn't see her again.
But that was the problem.
I didn't want her to ever leave. I haven't felt this way for a girl ever, there was a connection that I couldn't quite explain. She understood me, and my heart felt a bond with hers. She looked so hurt by what was going on, and I just needed to explain myself.
Sloan turned around, meeting eyes with everyone's distraught ones. Mitch looked like she was going to punch me, which I rightfully deserved, Sarah just looked confused, and Oakland looked like she had just met eyes with Medusa and was turned to stone.
"Hi! I'm Sloan! I don't think we've met!" she greeted herself to Oakland, ignoring all of the signs that everyone was giving off for her to leave. She looked directly at Oakland, as if she were trying to size her up. I was just about to step in as I heard Oakland open her mouth.
"I-.. um" Oakland stuttered, still in shock. I could tell that Sloan reached out to her personally, because she had already seen Mitch and Sarah with me in the past. My heart wants to reach out to Oakland so that I could explain everything, even though I already told her about what happened, minus one detail.
"We should get going, bye Sloan." I said, ending the awkward tension even though I knew I would be getting chewed out once I got home, because Mitch was somewhat of a father figure to me.
I began to walk around her, going straight for Oakland to smooth this over, when Sloan placed her palm on my chest, looking up at me with those same brown eyes. "Wait," she stopped me.
She gripped my shoulders to whisper something in my ear. "I think I left something at your house from Thursday." It was less of a whisper, as if she wanted the rest of the group to hear what she was saying. I furrowed my brows at her words, which quickly softened at the realisation of what she said. She mentioned Thursday, which was only three days ago, not the first day we arrived.
I was going to tell Oakland about everything, but we were interrupted during dinner, which caused it to be put on the backburner. Guilt was rising in my chest as I looked up, meeting eyes with Oakland's bright blue ones that looked as if she were just punched in the chest. I opened my mouth to speak, but instantly shut it, since I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell if she picked up on what was said, or just hurt by seeing this girl in person. I know I would be hurt to see someone who is to Oakland as Sloan is to me in person, so she has all the right to be feeling betrayed.
the second our eyes met, she tore them from mine, walking away and towards the exit. I instantly ignored Sloan trying to continue talking to me, pushing past her to go after my girl.
"Oakland wait!" I called out to her, in hopes that she would stop.
Oakland's POV
I felt my heart in the throat, slowly breaking, as I made my way to the exit. I just needed some fresh air, since I wasn't fully prepared to be met with all of this information within the same night.
'Thursday night'
Sloan's words rang in my ear and I neared the double doors. I was starting to feel extra sober from this, so I threw back my drink, slamming the empty cup in the trashcan before shoving the doors open to be met with the cool night breeze. The air was crisp, filling my lungs, which had just felt as if they had collapsed while I was inside.
I instantly connected the dots with what happened. Sloan and Harry got together on the first night we arrived, which is completely fine, since we both know that we don't have any reign over each other. I could never get angry at him over that, because it isn't my place at all.
What stuck out to me was earlier tonight during dinner. Harry mentioned that there was more to the story, but I brushed it off after being somewhat overwhelmed with what he mentioned before. What I now assume he was going to tell me was that it wasn't the only time he had seen Sloan this trip, and I wish that I had just let him finish so that this wouldn't be such a slap in the face.
I really shouldn't be so hurt by all of this, since Harry and I have such little time to be together, but I couldn't help but feel this connection to him. It was as if our hearts were tethered to each other by a string, but it was almost at its whits and was going to give out.
I guess I felt betrayal, now finally seeing the girl he was with the night we met was a beautiful, modelesque, young girl. We had completely opposite features: her brown hair clashed with my blonde, while her chocolate eyes burned into my ocean blue. She also was slim and could pass as a model, while I was short and average. It seemed that in every aspect, she was just a level or two better than I. It is hard not to compare or fall into the hands of insecurity, but seeing such a beautiful girl caused me to feel lower than her.
I heard Harry calling out to me, begging me to stop walking, but I trudged down the sidewalk, not even knowing where I was going.
"Oakland, please wait!" he yelled from a few feet behind me. His long legs compared to my short ones made it easy for him to reduce the distance between us quickly. I looked to the left, recognizing his car, so I finally caved in and stopped, turning around abruptly to be met with him only a short space behind me. "Let me explain." he huffed.
"No need Harry." I sighed, not knowing where we would end up with this. "If you wanted to spend your time with other girls-" I started, but was cut off.
"I don't, Oak. I have my eyes set on you." he said so genuinely, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe him. Just with everything, I couldn't see his words being true.
The music from the band beginning to play was muffled, but could still be heard from outside of the venue. I recognised the song, Malibu Nights by LANY was in the background of our conversation. I love this song, so knowing that I was missing it and making Harry miss this made me feel as if I was just overreacting.
"I just don't want to be a second choice, Harry." I told him straight forward. My growing feelings were causing me to genuinely be hurt by all of this, and my trust issues were coming into play. Thanks Lucca. Dick.
"You aren't a second choice. You would never be a second choice." He said, furrowing his brows at the thought. He shook his head as he spoke, unable to fathom it.
"Then why'd you do it?" I raised my voice just a bit to show my confusion mixed with anger. It was more tragedy than full-on rage towards him, but it was definitely shown through my body language. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, blocking him from me, but also shielding the chill wind that was rising goosebumps on my skin.
He noticed my slight chill and instantly shrugged off his floral patterned shirt, bringing it to wrap around my much smaller body, having it hit my mid thighs. I sighed at the gesture, because I know that he is just a classic gentleman, but I was still mad at him, but I couldn't pass this up because I was somewhat warm in his shirt.
"I-" he began to speak, but stopped before getting any more words out, looking down at his shoes in defeat. "It happened after you wouldn't speak to me." he finished.
Guilt boiled in my blood from his words. I didn't really think of how my actions were being reciprocated on the other side of things, and I instantly felt remorse and as if all of this was my fault. I was programmed to always be the one to apologize in my last relationship, but I flushed those feelings away, not letting myself become the one to blame anymore.
"So it's my fault?" I bit at him. I huffed out a sharp exhale, starting to get angry from feeling as if all of this was because of me.
"No, no, no." he quickly spit out, shaking his head at my words. "I don't know why I did it, but all I could think of was a need for a distraction. This was in no way your fault, Oakland."
My lip began to quiver, so I snapped my head down to look at my boots. I don't know why I was feeling so much pain from this, but the fact that he needed a distraction from what I was doing to him made me still feel as if I were the one in the wrong here. He wasn't blaming me, but I was blaming myself. I also still haven't even given him an explanation as to why I did leave him in the dark for days, but knowing that he accepted it without any context just went to show that he was a caring person. He cares about me, but still went off with another girl. Indecision was the only word I could describe what I was feeling. Am I mad at him for his actions, or am I mad at myself for being the cause for all of this?
I took a deep inhale, trying to calm my nerves, but a tear slipped out, and a soft whimper escaped my lips. I have no reason to be crying, so I tried to snuff everything down, but Harry's hands met my cheeks to lift my face to look up at him. His brows were furrowed in concern, and he looked longingly at me.
"Don't cry." he spoke softly, pulling me into his chest, wrapping one hand around my waist as his other hand met the back of my head. I squeezed my eyes shut, letting a few more tears ripple down my cheeks from feeling compassion from him.
I wasn't used to this. Care, tender, thoughtful feelings radiating from him as I felt remorse from hurting him and pain from him hurting me. I was always put into the position as the 'bad guy', so having an argument with an actual man instead of a boy was a change of pace. He hugged me into him fully, resting his chin on the top of my head.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered, not knowing why I was apologizing, but it felt needed. I couldn't tell if I was overreacting or my emotions were getting the best of me, but putting him in this position was making me feel some sort of guilt.
"Don't be sorry, Love. This is all my fault." he took the blame, finally pulling back to look at me. I could feel the puffiness around my eyes, and the stuffness of my nose from crying. "I'm the one in the wrong, Angel. Not you. Don't blame yourself." he said, reassuring me.
I nodded at his words, taking them in fully. He leaned down to meet our lips ever so softly, and it felt as if I just took the first inhale after being underwater for ages. I fluttered my eyes shut, feeling serine around me, but still there was a pit in my stomach over everything. I pulled back, locking eyes with his emerald green.
"I don't know why I am so disoriented by this. I'm sorry Harry." I said, opening how I truly felt, and not building up walls, so that he would be blocked out. I apologize once again, but not because of my past actions, but because of feeling in distress.
"Don't be sorry, Love." He said once again. He looked down at his shoes once more, lifting his head up once he began to speak again. "But Oakland," he began, "I-... I have feelings for you." he spoke.
I wasn't ready for that, so I just stared at him, frozen in my spot.
"Full-blown, I feel like I'm missing something when you aren't around, type of feelings. The type that isn't going to be gone by the time that you leave this island, and I don't know what to do." he professed.
Right as he finished his sentence, Sarah and Mitch caught my eye as they were walking down the sidewalk towards us, hand in hand. My lips were parted in shock by his words, not knowing how to register them as they greeted us. My eyes stayed locked on Harry's face as he turned to the side to look at them.
"Hey guys, we thought you two would come back in, so we came to find you." Sarah said. They instantly picked up on the tense energy I was exuding, so they took a step back. "Everything good?" she asked.
I snapped out of the state I was in, finally looking at them two. I shook my head, regaining my thoughts. "Uh-... yeah, all good. Harry was just going to take me home." I said, weaving my way out of the last conversation Harry and I just had, so that I could possibly have more time to think.
"Oh, okay. Well we saw an ice cream shop down there, so we can just Uber back home, H." Mitch told Harry, pointing behind him with his thumb. They walked off after Harry nodded, but looked back at me in confusion.
"Oakland." Harry said as I went to the passenger side of his car.
"Harry." I said back, looking at him as he stood tall on the sidewalk, as I was holding the door handle to the car, waiting for him to unlock it.
He shook his head, his eyes looking somewhat hurt by me ignoring his profession towards me less than three minutes ago. He looked down at the sidewalk as he went to open his car door and unlock my side. I climbed in, sighing as I sat down.
Anxiety built up and was running crazy through my body. I couldn't figure out whether I should be happy that he said that to me, or worried because we only have 9 days left together. I don't want either of us to get attached, because that would make everything harder in the end. But I did know that my feelings for him were much more than I knew of, since the way that I reacted to everything, so I feel like it is already going to be hard enough leaving him. And... I don't want to leave him.
I sat there, staring ahead, while I could feel Harry's eyes burning holes into my skin. He didn't turn on the car when he got in, he just was looking at me for some sort of reaction. I sighed, and finally met his eyes, both of us having knit our brows together with a concerned look. We matched each other's energy but in different ways. He was concerned by me not responding, and I was concerned by the thought of what to say. What do I even say to that?
"Talk to me." he finally broke the silence. I didn't know how to begin though. My thoughts were all over the place.
Do I say: 'Harry, I feel the exact same way, and I don't ever want to leave without you.' ?
I suppressed that idea down, going with the simpler choice.
"I need to go home." I stated. I need some time to collect my thoughts, and figure out what to really say. Tears began to brim my eyes once more, but I blinked them away so that he wouldn't see them. I'd cried enough tonight and there is no reason for my doing.
He gave me a soft nod, turning on the car, and driving me in the direction of his house. I was confused as to why, but as soon as we pulled up, I realised that I drove to his house tonight. We sat, staring at the house in front of us, neither of us moving out of our places. The silence was louder than anything at the moment, and it was almost suffocating.
Harry once again broke the silence, speaking words I wasn't expecting. "Stay with me tonight?" he asked. I whipped my head to him, not knowing if he really said that or I hallucinated it. "We don't have to talk, but I just don't want to be alone tonight." he stated, as if he was a sad, lonely puppy.
"I-... um..." I stuttered at first, but then realized that I didn't need to be alone in my thoughts tonight either. "Okay." I said softly in response. I don't even think about what my parents will think, not giving them a heads up that I won't be coming home.
He shut off the car, and we both got out, heading towards the door in silence. The house was dark and quiet, looking like how my soul felt in the moment. I don't even know what to think right now, because my mind was running a thousand miles a minute, so everything was turning into a grey cloud of confusion. We went up into his room, him setting his keys down on the nightstand before going to grab me one of his T-shirts. I went into the bathroom to change, seeing what was left behind from when I was last in here on the counter.
I picked it up, and threw it in the bottom cabinet where it used to reside, not wanting to get into that anymore tonight. I put on the black graphic tee, hitting me where his floral shirt just was, at my mid thigh, and I splashed some water on my face to help cleanse my mind of the night. I went back out into the still room, seeing that he had already changed and was wearing some grey joggers and shirtless. He was laying on his back, staring at the ceiling, and didn't break focus when I walked into the room.
The whole house sounded as if you could hear a pin drop, and the air around us fragile like glass. I climbed into the bed next to him, keeping distance in between us. I matched his position, not speaking anything, and looking up as if words were printed on the ceiling. I reached over to the nightstand, clicking off the lamp, before going back to my position. The windows casted a glow, and kept a dim light through the room.
My mind began to drift off to evaluate everything that had just happened. Harry told me about everything with Sloan, seeing Sloan in the flesh, Harry confessing his feelings for me. It was all just a lot to process, especially the ladder. Harry and I both knew that we couldn't grow too fond of each other, yet here we were, feeling a pull at the string that connected us together. I have nine more days here, but it feels as if no amount of time will be enough to be able to let him go.
I looked over after some time of self evaluation, seeing his side profile relaxed, and his eyes shut, as if he were already in a dream state. I felt a sink in my chest, seeing how perfect he always looked. I rolled over, planting a soft kiss to his cheek, and whispering to him, even though he couldn't hear me.
"I feel the exact same way Harry. I don't ever want to leave without you."
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I hope you enjoyed this chapter!!
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Sending all my love <3<3<3