We spent the next couple hours riding rides and going around the park. I had to admit that talking to Colby did make everything just a little bit better.
"I'm hungry." Kat said as we walked towards another ride. "We can eat after this ride." Sam said as Ki linked her arm through mine. "How are you feeling?" She asked as I shrugged. "I feel fine. We're just friends." I said and looked over at Colby.
He was goofing off with Corey which made my heart happy. I loved getting to just watch him be happy, even if I wasn't the reason for it.
"Okay, let me know if anything changes." Ki said as I nodded.
We went on a couple more rides as we made our way to the restaurant that was in the park. I think I was finally getting used to having everyone around again but my heart ached knowing they would be leaving me soon.
"When do you guys go back to LA?" I asked quietly as we sat down at the table. "Tomorrow morning." Sam said sadly as I nodded. "I really appreciate you guys coming. You have no idea how much it means to me." I said as Ki put her hand on mine.
"We're glad we could be here for you." Kat said as I looked down in my lap. "Have you thought about coming back to LA?" Jake asked as I shrugged. "I don't think I'm ready to come back just yet." I said and looked up. I didn't realize Colby was sitting across from me until I was met with his sad eyes.
"I'll be okay though. I'm gonna go back to work and just try to find some normalcy again." I said and gave them all a reassuring smile.
I was upset that they were leaving but I couldn't possibly expect them to pause their lives to be with me. I would just have to find my new normal again.
I would be okay.
We enjoyed dinner together then went back into the park. The sun was setting as we walked to the next ride, I didn't even realize I was zoned out until someone nudged me with their arm.
"V." Colby said as I shook my head. "Sorry, what's up?" I asked as I crossed my arms, hugging myself. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay? You know you can come back to LA with us." He said as we got in line for another ride.
"I'm sure. I just don't know if I really belong there right now." I said as he let out a breath. "What do you mean?" He asked as I chewed my lip.
I wanted to tell him that I couldn't be in LA without being with him but I didn't want to make anything awkward. We were just starting to get comfortable with eachother again, I wasn't going to fuck it up.
"I just don't think I'm ready for the busyness that is LA right now." I said as he nodded. "It's not because of me?" He asked as I sighed. "Not you." I said as his phone started ringing. "Her." I mumbled then walked away.
"What's up girlie?" Ki asked as I walked over to the girls. "Nothing, I'm getting a little tired." I said as Kat draped her arm around my shoulders. "Me too. Maybe this should be our last ride." Tara said as Jake came over and wrapped his arms around her waist.
I felt my heart twitch at the affection. I didn't realize how much I missed it until now.
I had to get over it.
Once we finished the ride we were in line for, we decided it was time to head back to my hometown.
"Will I see you guys before you leave?" I asked as we walked to our cars. "Of course, we'll stop by the house and pick up Ki." Sam said as I nodded. "Okay good." I said then sighed.
"Drive safe. I'll see you in the morning." I said then hugged all of them. "Love you, V." Devyn said with a smile. "Love you too." I said then got in the car.
The drive was longer than I wanted it to be since I was so tired. Ki spent the entire drive trying to convince me to just come back LA with them.
"I don't want to leave you here alone again." She said as I drummed on the steering wheel. "I know you don't, but unfortunately it has to happen. I'll be okay though." I said and reached over and squeezed her hand.
"When are you going to come back though? I'm worried about you." She breathed out as I sighed. "I don't know. I just can't stand to see Colby with another girl right now. I can't do that to myself." I blurted out without thinking.
"That's what this is about?" She asked as I clenched my jaw. I was angry at myself for letting myself be vulnerable about this, but I trusted Ki.
"Yeah. That's what this is about." I mumbled and kept my eyes on the road. "Violet, you can't dwell on her. She's nothing but trash! Come be with us. Come be with your friends." She begged as my eyes watered. "I can't. I just...I need more time." I whispered and wiped my cheek.
Ki eventually let up on me and dropped it but I felt bad because I could tell she felt helpless and that was the last thing I wanted.
I was sick of making everyone sad.
When we got back to the house I went and helped Ki pack her bag up. "Make sure you don't forget about me when you go back home, okay?" I asked as she laughed. "You're an idiot. I'll never forget about you." She said with a laugh as I got in the bed.
"Are you gonna sleep with me?" She asked with a laugh. "Yeah, I gotta get all the snuggles I can get before everyone leaves." I said and opened my arms. She laughed then crawled into bed with me.
I loved Ki and I's relationship because it felt like we have been friends forever.
Our souls just clicked.
We ended up staying awake for a while, talking about anything that came to mind. It felt like back in the day when I would have sleepovers with Daisy. It was something I really missed about having a best friend.
We eventually fell asleep though, and that's when the nightmares started.
"Are you leaving me?" I asked Colby as he stood in the doorway with his bag. "Of course I am." He said then grabbed his phone from his pocket. "Please stay." I begged as he shook his head. "You missed your chance. I love someone else now." He said then put his phone to his ear and walked away and out of my life forever.
I bolted up, trying to catch my breath. "Just a dream." I mumbled as I scrubbed my face with my hands. Ki was still fast asleep so I carefully got out of bed and went to go get some coffee since the sun was rising.
I had to prepare myself to say goodbye to everyone.
I sat there for a while just drinking my coffee before Ki came down with her bag. "You okay?" She asked quietly as I walked over to the coffee pot so I could pour her a cup.
"Yeah, I'm gonna miss everyone." I said and smiled sadly at her. "I know, but hey..I'm always gonna be a phone call away." She said as I nodded. "I know, I'm grateful for that." I said as someone knocked on the door.
I went over to answer it, only to reveal all of our friends. "Hey, come in." I said quietly then moved out of the way so they could all file into the house.
"When does your flight leave?" I asked and sat down at the kitchen table again. "In an hour and a half so we have to head to the airport really soon." Sam explained as a piece of my heart chipped off.
"Oh...okay yeah." I said then stood up again and started hugging everyone. "Bye, V. We're gonna miss you." Devyn said as we hugged. "I'll miss you guys, too." I said with a thick voice.
"Whenever you're ready to come back, we're gonna be here for you." Sam said as he hugged me. "Thank you. Thank you for everything." I said then turned to Colby.
He looked at me with sad eyes as I smiled softly at him. "Thanks for coming." I said then hugged him. As soon as his arms went around me I could feel my heart begging me to just stay in his arms.
Being in his arms felt like home.
"Don't hesitate to call me, okay? I'll always be here for you." He whispered as I nodded and pulled away from him, even though I didn't want to.
"I will." I said then smiled and turned to Ki. "Love you, bitch." She said then hugged me, rocking me back and forth. "Love you, too. Call me when you land." I said then turned to everyone again.
"Well, I guess this is it." I said then hugged myself. "Let us know when you're ready to come back, you'll always have a place to stay." Sam said as I nodded. "Will do." I said as everyone started filing out of the house.
I watched as Colby stopped so he could look at me again. It looked like he wanted to say something but instead of saying it he just smiled softly and waved at me. I waved back then turned to clean up the mess I made from my morning coffee.
It broke my heart when I heard the door close, because it meant that I was completely alone. I didn't have my grandma anymore and I didn't have any other family.
It was just me.
Once the kitchen was cleaned I made my way upstairs so I could get the laundry and do it. I needed to distract my mind from the pain that was filling my chest again.
Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I should have went with them.
I spent the rest of the morning cleaning, trying to keep my mind off of everything. I was about halfway done with cleaning the living room when I heard someone knocking on the door.
I scrunched my brow then walked towards it. When I opened the door I was met with those familiar blue eyes. "Colby, what are you doing here?" I asked as my heart pounded against my chest.
"I never stopped loving you." He blurted out as I stared at him. "What?" I asked in shock as he shook his head.
"It's always been you, V. It's always been you." He said then stormed over to me pulling me into him and bringing his lips to mine.