Shuichi's PoV
I knocked on the door. Within a few seconds, Kokichi opened it.
"Shumai!" he burbled. He pulled me inside his room and shut the door. "You're here early. You must want something." He got very close to my face. "Or, someone~"
I lightly pushed him off of me. "I actually just wanted to talk with you." I shut the door behind me.
"Well, that's not suspicious..."
"Oh ha, ha. Like your flirting is any weirder," I playfully rolled my eyes.
"You've been doing that a lot more lately, haven't you."
He blinked at me. "Shuichi, we started dating a week and a half ago... If you weren't expecting that, then I'm really starting to question your detective skills."
"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk about. Us that is."
"Well, that's probably not good..." Kokichi averted his eyes from mine and bit his thumb.
"Oh, no, no! It's nothing bad, I don't think... I guess I just wanted to tell more people, Kirumi knows because...well, yeah..." She walked in on us making out... I get anxious a lot, but I have never felt fear like that. Except that one time that I walked in on my aunt and uncle...
I shook the thoughts from my head, "I guess I just want other people to know without them finding out like that..."
"Sure." Kokichi shrugged.
"Wait, really? Just like that? You're fine with it?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I don't know... I just feel like something's wrong with everything I say... Welcome to the inner thoughts of Shuichi Saihara, where anxiety and insecurity rule over my every thought!
"I don't know..."
"Well, who? You said tell people, did you have anyone in mind?" Kokichi asked.
"Well, Kaede and Kaito are pretty high on the list-"
"There's a list?"
"No- well, technically no, there's just a couple people that I want to know. N-not that I don't want everyone to know at some point, and hopefully, that is-" Kokichi put his hand over my mouth.
"Shuichi...calm down... Breath." I inhaled through my nose while counting to seven. I held it for four. I exhaled through my mouth while counting to seven. "Better?" I nodded.
For the past few months, Kokichi had taken it upon himself to calm me down when I was spiraling and stop when he noticed I was starting to. I'm so lucky... "We can tell anyone you want, alright? And you can wait to tell other people if you wanted to."
"So, Kaeda and Kaito first?" I suggested.
"Whatever you want."
"Okay, we'll just split up and find each other then, because I don't think they'll believe you."
"Yeah, they probably won't, but that means the look on their faces will be even better! And I get my yen too!" Kokichi grinned at the thought.
"Yen?"
"Yeah, me and Kaito made a bet a while ago, if I ever got you to date me, I got 5187 yen."
Why am I surprised...? "Let's just get going then..." I sighed.
We both walked down the hall and turned off in opposite directions when Kokichi suddenly turned around at started coming towards me. "Shuichi, wait, you forgot something!" Forgot something? I didn't bring anything- Kokichi pulled me down by the collar and kissed me. It was quick, and he pulled back quickly, but I was still nervous. It was a bit strange kissing him out in the open.
"Kokichi, not out here...!" I murmured before I covered my red face with my hat and my lips with my hand. Kokichi, on the other hand, looked completely normal. But one thing I learned to do recently was pick out his body language that told the truth. He looked like his usual self but kept his fists closed, they were clammy: he was actually freaking out too.
What can I say? Being the ultimate detective did have its perks.
"I thought we were gonna tell people they'll find out on their own anyways. Bye Shuichi!"
I just stood there for a moment with my hand brushing over my lips. Eventually, I did put my hat back on my head and walk down the hall. I checked the courtyard first. No one I was looking for, but Maki did tell me Kaede was in the kitchen.
So, here I am. In the kitchen doorway... Kaede was there. I actually wish she wasn't... I'm scared... Someone save me...
"H-hey, Kaede..." I gave a small, awkward wave.
"Oh, hi Shuichi!" Kaede smiled. At least I think she did... She sounded like she did, but I think I like looking at this floor.
"I was actually looking for you. I wanted to talk to you about something," Kaede admitted. Fantastic, a distraction! I know I forgot to rehearse what I was going to say to her on the way here.
"Me too, you can go first then," I offered.
"So, I've...I kinda like this guy..." Shit. "I was just hoping I could tell him today... Do you think you could help me with it...?" she asked. No, no, I don't. Do you know who I am? I can't talk to people!
Fortunedantly, I can use this to my advantage, "oh, so we're kind of in the same boat." I looked up, not at her, but up with a smile.
"Ooo~ Really? Tell me about them!"
"I don't think that's really necessary-"
"But I want to guess! Is it a girl or a boy- No! I wanna guess that part too!" Kaede insisted. Why was she so damn persistent!?
"F-fine..." I mumbled. "Umm, they're cute... They're pretty short... They have really soft hair... They have really pretty purp-... R-really pretty eyes..." Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! I said purple! I said purple! There are only three people with purple eyes... Kaede, she's just a friend, though. Kaito, no...just-...no... And Kokichi, the only person I have shown any romantic interest in! I'm fucked.
"Ah! R-really! I think I might know who that is-"Do I hear arguing?-"I... I wanted to say I love you too!" Before I could even register what she'd said, she pulled my face to her and gave me a peck...on the lips...
"Kaede..." I breathed.
"Shuichi...?" I whirled my head around to see Kokichi in the doorway.
"Kaito?" Everyone turned to look at Kaito next to Kokichi. "I thought we were saying names..."
"Wow, Shuichi, if you really hated me that much, you could have just said so..." Kokichi kept his calm demeanor and cold voice, but he had taken his hands from behind his head, I noticed they were shaking slightly, and the tip of his nose was somewhat red. I saw this all before he crossed his arms and angled his head to the side, it looked like a trick of the light.
"Kokichi, you know I don't hate-"
"Explain."
"Well-" Why do I keep getting interrupted today?
"Explain?" Kaede asked. "Explain what?"
"Hmph, Shuichi, I would really control your girlfriend over there. My patience is running thin," Kokichi warned.
"Girlfriend!? I mean, I wouldn't say that-" Kaede's face was red usually, mine would be too, but I'm not thinking very much at the moment, and I don't want to.
"She's not my girlfriend, Kokichi."
"Not yet, apparently," Kokichi glowered.
"Wow, you're really going to shut her down like that?" Kaito. I hate you right now.
"Yeah, I am. Kaede is a friend."
"It didn't look like that a second ago." Kokichi's voice wavered slightly, but he effectively covered it up with sarcasm.
"Wait, but...you said you liked me..." Kaede, I can't do this with you right now...
"Those words never left my mouth-"
"Well, this has been a lovely chat, but I think I'm going to take my leave now." Kokichi turned around.
"Kokichi, wait!" I called out.
"Wait?" Kokichi laughed over his shoulder. "For what? I've seen enough." He exited the room in a walk, but the silence he'd left behind in the room made it obvious he'd started sprinting not long after.
I tried to run after him, but Kaito stopped me. "What just happened." Kaito, I don't have time for this right now...
"W-well, uh, Kokichi's been a bit out of it today, so I'm just going to go talk to him-" I tried to pass Kaito, but he stepped in front of me whenever I moved and continued talking like he wasn't consciously blocking my way.
"Tell me about it; he came up to me demanding the winnings of a bet we made a while ago." Kaito laughed.
"I think that might have actually been overdue..." I mumbled.
"I don't think you know what that bet was..."
"What was the bet?" Kaede asked.
"We were betting on whether or not Kokichi and Shuichi would ever get together. And because it was a long bet, I have his yen, and if by some bizarre circumstance he wins his gets twice the yen he gave me.
"Did I stutter."
"You actually do that quite often." I glared at him. "Oh... Oh- Oh? What?"
I just pushed him away from the door and ran where I thought I'd heard Kokichi run. I eventually found Kirumi. She was staring at the end of the hall with a distant and confused expression.
"K-Kirumi..." I panted out of breath. "Do...do you know...where Kokichi is?"
"Umm, yes, he went that way." She looked back down the hall before turning to me. "He looked upset... You know what happened. Talk." she demanded.
I began to explain the events of earlier, and Kaede and Kaito heard about half of it. Including the part about Kokichi and I's relationship. They also got to see me get slapped.
"Kirumi," Kaede started. "Please don't blame Shuichi. I'm the one that kissed him, and it was involuntary on his part. I'm sorry, I should have asked."
"No, no, it's fine, Kaede." Kirumi stomped on my foot with her extremely painful heel. "You didn't know, and I don't blame you, sorry if it seemed that way," I apologized. Wow, Kirumi's shoes hurt like hell!
"Kirumi, can I please speak with Kokichi," I pleaded.
"Fine..." she growled.
I thanked Kirumi before dashing down all the way to Kokichi's room. When I got there, Kiibo and Mui were in the hallway talking about whatever, but I don't really care, so I stopped at Kokichi's door and desperately knocked on his door, trying not to do it too aggressively.
"I don't want to talk to anyone, especially if it's Shuichi!"
"Kokichi, please-"
"I told you to go away, asshole!"
"But-"
"I said beat it, Saihara!" Kokichi rarely called me Saihara, and it was usually as a putdown, not out of anger. It was a head-turner. And it almost hurt me. No, it did hurt me. It felt like the giant weight on my chest had become twice as heavy.
I'm sweaty, not from running, no, from emotional exhaustion. I'm on the verge of tears. And I'm shaking. I know the yelling was loud. Probably loud enough to attract the attention of oh, I don't know... Anyone within a kilometer!
I kept my head down as I leaned with my back against the door. I took a breath as I ran a slightly shakey had through my damp hair. My fears were confirmed when I turned around and saw many feet on the floor. I'm just glad they can't see my face.
A few people said my name, I didn't really listen. I made the walk of shame to my room. Someone put their hand on my shoulder to stop me. I just shrugged them off and continued walking. I didn't even check to see who it was.
I got to my room in what seemed like no time. Then again, the concept of time is merely of humans and doesn't exist. I shut my door behind me, threw my hat somewhere, and slumped on my bed. I really want to cry right now... I'm gonna cry now...
And because this breakdown is special, I'm breaking out the whole ugly cry kit: knees to chest, snot running down my face, I'm drooling everywhere...the entire thing. And I get to know everything that happened today was my fault. Kokichi was fine. I was okayish. We were together with our relationship intact... If only I had said something to Kaede sooner...none of this would be happening. Wow, I hate myself.
I heard a knock on my door. I want to ignore it if I can, but I prepared myself to open it; in case I had to. I had a bit of experience cleaning myself up after these. I just grabbed the cup of water on my bedside table and splashed it on my face. My bed was already drenched, and I was wearing black (like I have anything else in my closet), so no one could tell my clothes were wet.
They knocked again. I reluctantly went to open the door. "Oh, Kaito..." Out of everyone...you...right now... "How are you?" I smiled.
"Uh, Shuichi? Are you okay? You're smiling...?" Oh, you have no idea...
"No. I have entered a state of panic that requires me to either completely go overboard with the pretending I'm okay, or look and feel like absolute shit." Where's my hat...? I need it.
"Uh, I don't really know how to respond to that..." Kaito looked nervous. Understandable.
"You don't have to. Is there something you needed?" I asked.
"Umm, I needed to tell you something... Kaede talked to Kokichi...he agreed to talk to you."
"You aren't fucking with me, are you? I'm not in an emotionally stable enough place to be fucked with, Kaito."
"I'm not fucking with you," Kaito promised. "Kokichi really means a lot to you now, huh...?"
"Yes, he does, and thank you... And please, thank Kaede for me too." I sprinted down the hallway to Kokichi's room. When I got there, I softly knocked on the door.
"It's unlocked..." A small voice from the other side uttered barely loud enough for me to hear. I opened the door and shut it behind me. Kokichi was sitting on his bed with his head down.
"Kokichi-"
"I'm going to ask you questions. You will answer them. And you will not lie to me." Kokichi's voice was like before, sharp, cold, and stoic. "What were you and Kaede talking about."
"Umm, we were talking about our crushes..." I answered.
"Plural?"
"Me and Kaede both, you were mine, obviously, and I guess I was Kaede's..." I really didn't see that coming... I can't really wrap my head around the concept of finding my personality enjoyable. I'm annoying. Then again, that might be why me and Kokichi get along. I do acknowledge that he is very irritating. I still care about him, though.
"You really are oblivious..." Kokichi looked up slightly.
"Heh, I guess so..."
"I don't think I would have been as upset if it weren't for one word she said," Kokichi started. "Do you know what word that was, Shuichi?"
Crap...I have no idea... "U-uh, no...no, I don't..."
"Hmm, well, she said, "too," you know," Kokichi hummed. "Shuichi, do you know what "I love you too" is typically a response to?"
"I love you..." I don't see this ending well...
"Shuichi, I want to believe you, I really do... It's just hard when your alibi is bullshit..."
"I-... I know... And I'm sorry, I don't think I was clear enough when she asked me to describe them..." Kokichi's head went all the way up, and it almost entirely turned to me. "I guess cute, short, soft hair, and purple eyes fits more than one person around here..."
Kokichi's face went red. "You're not supposed to be flirting right now..."
"I'm not. I was repeating what I said you looked like."
"That's not fair! You can't make me love you right now, I'm mad..." He turned away from me with his arms crossed.
I moved to the bed to sit next to him, he didn't tell me to move, so I stayed. "Kokichi, you told me not to lie. I haven't... And I wasn't lying when I described you either-"
"Shut up."
"You really are beautiful, you know-"
"Shuichi..."
I grabbed his wrists and pulled them toward me. He was facing me now. "Kokichi... I know you have no reason to-"
"Yes. Yes, you do. And I'm the one that doesn't have any reason to question you." Kokichi turned his head away from me. "I know you wouldn't do anything like that to me, or anyone else, you know it too. You would never do anything like that. If the roles were switched... Well, I wouldn't be surprised if you left me-"
I let go of his right hand to turn his face to mine. The skin under one of my fingers was damp. He had a few wet streaks down his face, and we just looked at each other for a moment. After a few moments of this, more tears poured down his face, and he buried his face in my chest while I was still holding his hand.
We stayed like that for a while. At some point, I was also silently crying, but I was mostly comforting Kokichi. Another thing I've learned about him while getting to know him, he doesn't like to let out his emotions. He never does in front of people. That means he trusts me enough to actually cry not only in front of me but on me.
I'm just glad I can still make him comfortable. I was scared of how awkward this was at first, but it worked out... I don't think I need my hat today... I have Kokichi...that's more than enough.
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I wrote this twice... It died the first time, the entire thing. I had to rewrite it; a whole four hours of my life wasted. Eh, I don't do anything with it anyways. I hope you guys enjoyed it!