For the third time that day, Katya found herself in a jet. All kinds of important UN people were busy calling, typing or writing. What had happened in Vienna was the worst possible start to the Accords.
In the small bathroom in the front of the plane, she had cleaned herself up as best she could. Someone had been so kind as to retrieve her stuff from the Avengers Quinjet, but she couldn't find the energy to change clothes. Not in this small stall, not when the echo of the bomb rang in her ears.
To be honest, she wanted to go home, to the compound, and let others deal with this mess. Steve had disappeared in the Austrian capital along with Sam. It wasn't hard to guess where they went, since the news broke Barnes was spotted in Bucharest.
Part of Katya felt betrayed by two of her friends. It was understandable Steve wanted to protect his friend, get to him before Special Forces could, but didn't he care about the team? Didn't he care about abandoning them, her?
With her icy blue eyes, she studied herself in the small mirror above the sink. In this harsh light, she might as well be a ghost. That's how pale her skin was. Why was she so affected by all this? Why was she constantly nauseous?
The past repeated itself. She had gotten her hopes up that she had finally found something that would last forever, only for it to crumble down. That's what you got when you let your heart get vulnerable, when you broke the walls down.
Maybe it would have been better to feel nothing, distant about this whole breakup of the team. But Katya was glad she felt everything, because it suggested it all meant something.
With a sigh, she unlocked the door and trailed back to her comfortable chair in the back. She said nothing to nobody, slipped off her shoes, grabbed a blanket from the cabinet, put her earphones in and closed her eyes.
The goal wasn't to fall asleep, the goal was to turn up the volume so loud she was unable to hear her own thoughts. To lose herself in the music as she did when she danced.
The flight only lasted an hour, which was not nearly enough to settle down. Before she knew it, her shoulder was shaken softly. Natasha didn't have to say anything, Katya slipped her shoes on silently.
Berlin, that's where they were going. A UN-bunker in the middle of the city, somewhere next to the river. Katya didn't sign because she didn't want to be told where to go, which was exactly what was happening now. With reluctance, she trailed after the others, off the plane. It was nice to see Sharon Carter waiting on the bottom of the stairs. At least one person she knew.
''I wonder how Steve knew about Bucharest before Task Force knew,'' Katya hissed at the blonde as she fell into stride next to her. Her accusation was accompanied by a knowing glare. She didn't want Steve locked up, but his refusal to sign the Accords meant he was no longer authorized to act on his own. Katya could respect that rule, no matter how much she hated it, so why couldn't he trust the UN to capture Barnes instead of killing him?
Natasha's head shot to the side, afraid other people had heard her words and it would come back on Carter. ''Katya, you need to calm down.'' As soon as Katya turned around, rage on her face, she knew it was the wrong thing to say.
''Are you seriously telling me to calm down?'' Katya snapped. It was all too much right now. Her voice was loud enough that multiple people around them turned around to see what was going on. ''I am covered in ash, my ears are still ringing and two of our team mates have gone rogue, and there is nothing I can do about it!''
Natasha tried to stay calm. Fighting was not going to solve anything and she knew Katya wasn't mad at her, she needed an outlet and her comment had been the trigger to her explosion. ''I know you're tired, but yelling is not going to solve anything.''
Sharon eyed the two women and took her leave. She did not want to be in the middle of this.
''Don't you care?'' Katya stepped closer, gesturing wildly. Her head was a mess and deep down she knew she shouldn't be yelling. ''Why are you always so stone-faced Natasha? Doesn't this make you feel anything? For once, just show me what you feel.''
Natasha scoffed. Katya knew exactly how to get under her skin. ''Of course I care, but I can't let my emotions get in the way of this!'' She took a deep breath, clenching her jaw. ''We ignore them until the job is done, you know that Katya.'' If you had told her three weeks ago that a mission in Lagos would lead to her fighting with her fiancée in a secret UN office in Berlin, she would have laughed in your face.
''For god's sake, can't you see this isn't a job?'' Katya gestured around her. The concrete walls, floor and ceiling did nothing for the atmosphere. ''We're not hunting criminals, we're hunting our own friends!''
''Yes, and those friends are now criminals. Cool down, we can talk later when you're not feeling the need to punch everyone.'' It wasn't a suggestion and it did not leave room for arguing. Frustrated, Natasha turned away and disappeared through the door. Katya watched her go, the anger quickly making place for guilt and anger towards herself.
With the one bag she brought with her, she stormed the other way, towards the exit. She needed air, oxygen. The security guard at the door opened his mouth to stop her, but her glare was so dangerous he decided against it. The heavy door slammed shut behind her.
Sun was starting to set in Berlin, Katya's favorite time of the day. The high buildings around her prevented the orange sun to land on her face, but the sky was a beautiful mixture of colors. To her luck, a huge pond surrounded the whole building. Short steps led down to them. There she sat down, knees to her chest and arms around them.
The wind made her shiver but the reflection of the sky in the water was too beautiful to ignore. As always, it calmed her down, but not as much as usual. The city sounds were soothing. If she closed her eyes, she was almost home. But the police and ambulance sirens had a different sound here, so she was just fooling herself.
Unsurprisingly, nobody came to check up on her. So Katya sat there until she turned into a shivering statue. It would be so easy to walk away, to leave it all behind, but she couldn't do it. Abandoning friends and family wasn't like her. She was a part of something bigger.
Ashamed and numb from the cold, Katya shuffled back inside. She had no idea where to go, so she turned to the first security guard she saw. ''Wo finde ich die anderen?'' (where can I find the others?) He gave her some general directions, unable to leave his post. She ended up in some sort of control room with a small glass conference room in the center.
She did not see Natasha, but did see Sharon. The woman was busy directing people around, walking from screen to screen. It was almost eleven now, the days were long so the sun went down late, and in the time she had sat outside, Steve, Sam and Barnes were caught. Together with another surprising figure.
T'Challa. When he woke up this morning, he was a prince. Now he was the king of Wakanda.
The four of them sat in cells in Bucharest, heavy security guarding each door. They would be picked up via airplane soon and transported to Berlin. It left Katya with nothing to do.
''Sharon.'' Katya stopped behind her. At first she wasn't sure what she was going to say. Would she apologize? But as blue eyes met hers, that intention was gone. Didn't matter that Carter was a nice woman, she had still given Steve information that caused him to go after Barnes. She was part of the reason he was now a prisoner. ''What time will they arrive?''
The blonde eyed her colleagues. ''I can't give you that information.''
Katya's eyes narrowed, her fingers twitching. ''Why? Because I didn't sign?'' She interpreted the empty look she got as a yes and her jaw tensed. ''They're my friends, Carter. At least two of them.'' The frustration was back, all of it.
Sharon's gaze flickered to the floor, but she wasn't giving in. ''I'm sorry, I'm just doing my job.''
Katya took a deep breath. Through gritted teeth, she hissed. ''Well, can you at least tell me where I can find Natasha then?''
''I would, but I don't know where she is. But if you want to change or shower, we have some rooms downstairs. Michelle here will take you.'' The dark-skinned woman stepped forward. Her buzz-cut was so short, her hair was almost gone. She looked tough, a fighter.
''If you would please follow me,'' Michelle spoke firmly. She was not afraid of the brunette spy. Maybe the gun on her hip helped with that a little.
The longer they walked up the stairs, turned corners and wandered down hallways, the more Katya relaxed. With a sigh, she shook her head. She had such a short fuse today. The rollercoaster of emotions and events toyed with her head. She needed a distraction.
''Do you have a girlfriend, Michelle?''
Startled, the woman looked to her right, scanning Katya's face. ''How did you-''
''Please,'' Katya scoffed, cutting her off, ''my gaydar is impeccable.''
Michelle smiled, turning her eyes back on the hallway. ''I do, yes.'' She had an accent. French.
''What do you do when you have an argument?'' Katya had no idea why she was discussing her relationship troubles with a random UN staff member, but she had to get it off her chest.
Michelle chuckled softly. ''For starters, don't yell.''
''Touché,'' Katya smiled. The woman must have heard and seen the fight.
''We sit down and discuss it.'' Michelle was really falling into her role, gesturing with her hands and patiently explaining. ''Hear her side of the story, place yourself in her shoes and understand where she is coming from. Remember, it is you and her against the problem, not you versus her.''
The two woman stepped in an elevator, Michelle holding her pass in front of a scanner and pressing a button to the lower floors.
Katya leaned against the wall, arms crossed over each other and her bag at her feet. ''That's the thing, I do see her reasoning. I do understand where she is coming from. But I can't accept it. I can't wrap my head around it. This isn't a discussion about pineapple on pizza, this is life or death.''
Michelle tilted her head, ''Maybe you don't see it anymore, but that connection between you two is visible from across the room. Every time she looks at you, there is pure adoration in her eyes. As if you are an angel sent from above. She has you on a throne so high you could never do something wrong in her eyes. If you want something, you just have to ask.'' Katya was speechless. How did she get all that from one minute of yelling? ''No matter what you do, she will never stop loving you. And if I see the look in your eyes when you talk about her, you feel the same.''
Katya laughed after Michelle stopped talking, a little redness on her cheeks because she wasn't sure if she had overstepped. ''Jeez, I didn't know I was talking to a therapist.''
Michelle laughed along with her. ''You're welcome?'' They stopped in front of a door. Again, Michelle swiped her card and with a beep, it opened. Behind it was a simple room, probably for people who lived on this base permanently. ''Here it is. I'll see if I can find Romanoff and send her over.''
Katya walked in, throwing her bag on the small bed. She wasn't planning on sleeping tonight, only taking a shower and change. ''Please.''
Michelle glanced over her shoulder. Quickly, she muttered. ''Prisoner convoy will arrive at six. Stark will be here at five.''
Katya suppressed a groan at the announcement Stark would be there. He had to stay home and let her and Natasha handle this. He would only make it worse.
But she was very thankful Michelle had given her this information, risking her job in the process. ''Thank you,'' Katya said genuinely. She couldn't help but feel she had bothered the woman, but she looked happy to help.
''You're welcome,'' she smiled. ''For what it's worth, I don't approve of the Accords either, but it is not my job to have an opinion.'' With those words, she left the spy in the room, closing the door behind her. Katya felt on edge as she always did in a new environment. It didn't help she didn't trust the UN either. They could bust down this door any second and arrest her, but nothing happened.
She felt a lot better after her shower. The floor turned grey from the ash in her hair and the standard shampoo smelled too much like roses for her taste, but it did the job. Not bothering to dry her hair, she slipped on some fresh clothes, all black of course, and left everything there. Natasha hadn't showed up yet. So either Michelle hadn't found her, or she didn't want to talk.
The rest of the night, which meant about five hours until Tony showed up, Katya wandered around the huge building, snooping in places she probably shouldn't be. In the back of her head, she knew she should find Natasha and talk it out, but her pride stood in the way. The argument about the Accords was the biggest disagreement they'd ever had. Their minds thought alike, most of the time.
Eventually she found the entrance to the roof. Heights had never scared her, so without trouble she stepped to the edge. A fence protected stragglers like her from falling off, but it was only as high as her chest, so she sat on top of it. Below, the pond shimmered in the moonlight, but that wasn't what caught her eye.
The Berlin skyline was beautiful. Apartment buildings where all lights were off, offices where lights were still on -people working at night-, scooters, cars, trams, trains, planes. It was a busy city. She was also convinced if she squeezed her eyes a little, the Berlin Wall was visible in the distance.
It was probably a good thing she was only five when it fell, signaling the end of the Cold War. If she had been born years earlier, the amount of nasty things she would have had to do for her home country would have been much higher. It was a dark time for the world. But then again, when wasn't it?
It is weird how someone's relationship with life can change. If Katya had found herself sitting on this roof ten years ago, she would have had the desire to jump, to let the wind push her off the railing. Twenty years ago, she wouldn't have wanted to jump, but hadn't been too sad if she fell either. Right here and now, the thought of letting go didn't occur to her. She had so much to live for.
At exactly five AM, when the sky was getting lighter and lighter by the second but the sun hadn't showed herself yet, a helicopter flew over her head. Of course Tony would fly in via helicopter. Her relationship with the man was a little rocky, but he was still her lifelong friend and cared about him. So she made her way inside, the warmth of the building slamming in her face after sitting in the cold air for an hour.
''Stark,'' she greeted him. She hadn't have to walk far, the helicopter had landed on another part of the roof and the spy waited inside, behind the glass doors. Sharon shot her a weird look, probably wondering how she knew of his arrival.
Tony completely ignored Sharon and instead followed Katya into the building. ''Ah, the less scary Russian. Still got all your limbs, I see.''
One eyebrow raised on the brunette's face as she pressed the button next to the elevator and waited impatiently, tapping her foot. ''If that is your way of asking if I'm fine after Vienna, the answer is yes.'' She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jacket.
''Good,'' he said quickly, looking around excessively. His expensive shoes were silent on the metal floor of the elevator. ''Where is your better half?''
Katya shrugged, as if she didn't care. But an anxious bubble sat in her chest. ''I have no idea.'' The glass walls of the lift allowed her to see through the different levels of the huge building. Sharon had pushed herself through the closing doors and leaned against them with a scowl on her face. Katya was not making friends here.
''Trouble in paradise?''
''No, all good.'' She wasn't sure if it was, but Michelle's words echoed in her brain: No matter what you do, she will never stop loving you.
''Did you sleep?''
Katya narrowed her eyes at him, studying his face and body language. He wanted to act casually, but had ulterior motives. ''Why do you suddenly care so much, Tony?''
''I care about my friends. What, is that forbidden now too?'' His phone rang. Irritated, he pulled it out of the inner pocket of his expensive suit and sighed at the name on screen. ''Excuse me, I have to take this.'' He stalked out of the elevator when it opened, brushing past Sharon.
Katya debated on staying in the lift and taking it back up to the roof, but the look the blonde Agent gave her was enough to want to follow the billionaire down the hallway and into the control room. The glass room in the middle of it held a large table with multiple chairs. As soon as Sharon forced her in there, Katya understood why, it was soundproof.
''You have to stay in here.'' Katya turned around to protest, but the look on Sharon's face stopped her. The woman was beyond tired and guilt spread through Katya's body. ''Please.''
So she nodded and in a small act of protest, sat atop the table, with her feet on a chair. If she had to, Katya could sit still for hours. Patience wasn't something she had from herself, but something she had been taught. She listened to Tony who was on the phone with Secretary Ross. It was beyond amusing to hear Tony mouth him off as Katya stared at her feet for a full hour.
At some point, she felt a familiar pair of green eyes on her, but they didn't come closer. With all those people walking around the conference room, stealing glances at the confident assassin, their mouths opening but no sound reaching her ears, Katya felt like an exotic animal up for sale, getting admired in a cage.
Sometimes, when a really piercing gaze stared at her for too long, she looked away from her feet and threw a dangerous look their way. She knew she was acting like a child, a spoiled child, but she couldn't stop it.
The large screens in the corner of her left eye screamed for attention, but not once did she give in and look at them. Only when a large group of agents walked out after an hour, did she look up. It didn't take long until Steve and Sam walked in, surrounded by a big group of security and other important people.
A smaller, greying man marched in front, next to him the king of Wakanda. Natasha went to greet them, but Katya didn't move a muscle except the ones in her eyes.
Sam nodded at the brunette, as did Steve. Even T'Challa found her eyes and smiled slightly. Maybe she would be able to visit Wakanda if she got on his good side.
Automatically, her eyes slipped over to Natasha's. Only for a heartbeat, but it was long enough for a stab in her stomach. Fighting with her was horrible, but the reality was that Katya sat in here while Natasha was out there, doing what she did best: fixing problems.
''No. Romania was not Accords-sanctioned. And Colonel Rhodes is supervising cleanup.'' Tony spoke loudly into his phone. The glass door of the office slid open, noise from outside pouring in. That's also how she heard Natasha's soft voice for the first time in hours.
''Try not to break anything while we fix this,'' she called out over her shoulder to Sam and Steve. For some reason, T'Challa was taken elsewhere. He wasn't an Avenger, so he didn't have anything to do with the Accords, only with Barnes. Because if he was here, that meant he did indeed go after the soldier like he had promised Natasha back in Vienna.
''Consequences?'' Tony almost yelled in her ear, making her cringe. ''You bet there'll be consequences. Obviously you can quote me on that 'cause I just said it. Anything else? Thank you, sir.''
'''Consequences'?'' Steve frowned as Tony stepped out of the office and closer to him.
With his Stark phone in his hand, the man made big movements, like he always did. ''Secretary Ross wants you both prosecuted. Had to give him something.''
Steve smiled, but it wasn't happy. ''I'm not getting that shield back, am I?'' he called after the retreating man.
Natasha joined his side, ignoring Katya's stare. ''Technically, it's the government's property. Wings, too,'' she added, teasing Sam.
Sam glared at her, not happy to hear his precious suit was now no longer his. Katya hoped she could still keep her beloved weapons. ''That's cold.''
''Warmer than jail,'' Tony joked, disappearing around a corner.
''Hey girl.'' Sam's smile and happy, outgoing character was always a warm welcome. That was definitely true when everyone had ignored her for a complete hour, treating her as a sickness.
Leaning back on her hands, Katya smiled brightly. It was slightly forced, but he didn't notice. ''Hey man.''
The chair next to her feet rolled backwards and he sat down. Steve said nothing, just scanned the screens on the wall for something. ''Why are you sitting here like a statue?''
She shrugged. ''Can't leave this room and they didn't give me anything to play with, so...'' It was meant to be funny, but it turned depressing.
''You look tired,'' Sam admitted, scanning the dark circles under her eyes and the glazed-over irises. Without makeup to hide it, it was worse than before.
Katya tried to laugh it off, shaking her hair out of her face. ''Thanks, jerk.'' A tense silence fell over the duo. Sam knew what would come next. ''So, you wanna tell me what the hell happened in Romania? Because they wouldn't tell me anything.'' She gestured to the people around.
Sam sighed and leaned backwards in his chair. His hand traced intricate patterns on the wooden table. ''Simple, we almost had Barnes, then that man dressed like a cat showed up.''
Katya couldn't help it. The way he said it with that disgust on his face made her burst out in a loud laugh. ''Wait, what? A cat?'' Her outburst attracted the attention from some agents outside the room, since the door was still open.
Behind them, Steve glared at the man. ''It's not a cat, Sam,'' he corrected him, thinking back to his remark in the car on the way here.
''To me it is.'' His hands raised in surrender. ''The Black Panther. According to the king, it is ''the protector of Wakanda''.''
Katya frowned, trying to make sense of it all. ''Wait, so T'Challa is this superhero dressed like a cat while also being king of Wakanda? And he, on his own, prevented you two from getting Barnes?''
''Well, not only him,'' Sam defended himself weakly, ''police found us too. And Rhodey.''
''Police?'' Katya chuckled. ''You got your asses handed to you by police?''
It earned her a glare, but Sam laughed non the less. ''Shut up. What have you been doing instead of sitting here?''
''Hey!'' she exclaimed, feigning offence. ''I sat on the roof too, and next to the pond outside. They won't let me do anything so they locked me up in here instead of a prison cell. Isn't that nice?''
Sam shook his head, laughing. At least he was here, it made all of it a bit less miserable. ''What did you do?''
Katya sighed, the smile dropping from her face as she looked back at her shoes. ''I didn't sign.''