I could stay here forever.
I wanted to stay here forever.
Trap me up like Rapunzel. Store me in a castle, high and far away with only Vance as company. Only thing I wanted to be consumed in was him. Vance's hands. Vance's eyes. Vance's scent. I wouldn't go outside like the how the girl in Tangled did. I wouldn't want to go outside. Fuck the grass. Fuck the northern lights. And fuck anyone else who disagreed with me.
Okay, I was stretching it.
But ugh, who can blame me? If anyone else were in my position - in bed with Vance, his hands wrapped around your waist, legs tangled under the comforter - they would be saying the same thing. It almost felt like a dream. I couldn't believe it - him staying over and us. . .cuddling? Was this cuddling? It seemed like it. My heart nodded its head. Fuck it, it was cuddling.
I was cuddling with the man I love.
Woah woah woah - did I really just admit that to myself twice? I thought that maybe it was just a climax thought. Like how some people would just spurt I love you to their partner after they got done 'love making' because of the thrill of it all. I thought it was just one of those thoughts. But, certainly, that was not the case. Right now, I was in bed with Vance - Vance still fast asleep, oblivious from my thoughts - and I just thought the L word. The L word? How old was I? Fuck, it just scared me.
Being in love fucking terrified me.
Especially being in love with a man like Vance. The man who said, he didn't want a relationship. But God, I didn't fucking mean to. It just happened. Life just worked like that - Surprise. Always kept you on your toes. You never knew what could happen. Unpredictable.
Maybe that was why I was still holding Vance tight? Maybe that's why I wasn't kicking him out, knocking him upside the head and shouting at him that it was his fault that I fell in love?
Because life was un-pre-dic-table.
Which meant, that he could be in love with me too? Or meant that, he could be on his way of falling in love with me?
I was a religious girl. The religious type. My parents grew me up religious. Going to church. Praying. Sometimes, I would read my bible. Yeah, most of that stuff I still didn't keep up with but it still held value to me. I had a belief in something. I had hope. I had faith.
I had faith that Vance could fall in love with me. And sometimes all you needed was a little faith.
Ew, I sounded like some vague 'inspirational' bullshit magazine article. Those articles that would tell you what you would need to do, to 'get' a man. It would say: Just have a little faith. Have hope. Also don't forget to supply yourself with some Flat Tummy Tea Supplements. Discount code: WeLoveOurBigGirls.
It was funny how the world worked.
It was unpredictable how the world worked.
And with that final thought, I snuggled more into the comforter and pressed my body more into Vance's embrace. And I found out he was already up because right when I moved an inch back, his hand shot out, attached to my neck, inched it back and I was looking into his brown eyes.
"Good morning."
Ah, was his voice always this soothing in the morning? I wanted more of that- no needed more of that. "Good morning." My voice seemed like it had an extra hop in it. It did.
For the next couple of minutes, we found ourselves just staring - staring into each other eyes. I wondered what he was thinking. My thoughts were absorb with him. Thinking about to what occurred last night. Thinking about to what occurred at school. Just thinking back to about times when we were together. Reminiscing. Remembering. Locking.
I didn't want to let him go. I didn't want him to leave.
My alarm disagreed. It blurted out a ring ring, reminding me of what today was. Fucking Monday. Which meant I had school to attend to.
I forced my gaze to disconnect with his and sluggishly pulled myself from out of the bed, the warm, Godly, never-wanted-to-leave-Vance's-embrace bed.
"Shit." I said as I hit the snooze button on my alarm. I reached for my robe and wrap it around me. I was cold now that I was no longer snuggled up with Vance. "Sorry, I have to start getting ready for school."
I looked back his way - he was still situated on the bed - looking hot as fuck just sitting there - staring at me. Round two? I mentally batted myself down. I had education I needed to get to. There would be other times for a round two. I mean, I would hoped there would be other times for round two.
"It's fine. Go get ready and I'll drop you off."
"Thank you." I said at his offering. I turned around, ready to get myself and get my stuff for my shower. I walked to my closet, left the barricade open so that I could peak at Vance every now and then when I would gather up my clothes. My hands opened my drawer and I looked for some underwear.
"So Vance, what do when you're not teaching on Thursdays?" I would be in here for a while, picking out my clothes, so why not ask the man questions?
"I cook at a restaurant." I already knew that. "I also sometimes guest star and teach Master classes. Well, teach on the MasterClass website." I did not know that.
"What's a MasterClass website?" I asked while sectioning my bra and underwear in hand then taking two steps to the right, looking at my clothes.
"A website where chef's could get paid, helping other people teaching them online." I heard him shifting on the bed. "It actually pays decently well for a side job."
"Wait, let me get this straight." I slightly turn his way - he now had sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed, legs dangling, and eyes on me. "You get paid by the schools, get paid working at 5-star restaurants, and get paid by this MasterClass website? You must be rolling in money?"
He snorted. "Not rolling in it, but I do live comfortably." When people say 'living comfortably' they meant loaded. Jesus, how much was his house? "All that shit I went through growing up, college, culinary school all paid off and my talent go me where I am."
I waved my hands in a yeah sure yeah dismissive type of way. I saw his house. It was dreamy. "Yeah, of course but woah. Tell me, do you have all the streaming services? Netflix, HBO, Hulu, Google Play, Apple TV, Disney Plus and shit even maybe Youtube plus?"
He nodded his head, nodded to all I bet. His face showed that it was not a big deal. But shit, it was a big deal. If he had all of that plus tv? That meant that you are rich to me. "Yeah, I get bored when I'm home and when I'm not cooking."
"Well, shit. I need to come over." Was that bold? Inviting myself over? Too bad, it was already out. "What do you even watch? Like everything?"
"No, mostly re-runs of different shows. Oh and John Wick, a lot."
I laughed. Of course, every man I knew liked John Wick. "Well, I'm going to need to show you more movies." Oh, there I went again- suggesting him to hang out together, suggesting that I come over. Did I have any shame? Nah, I don't care anymore. Not hiding shit.
Who was I kidding? I was lying. I would be hiding shit. I'll just say this, I was only hiding shit that could ruin our 'friendship'. The shit: Me loving Vance. And it was going to stay hidden until I saw some more bold gestures from Vance. I haven't even officially told him that I even liked him, so I was definitely not going to tell him that I love him.
I could wait.
What couldn't wait, was this shower. I needed to clean myself off. Clean myself new. I was a new woman, it seemed. A woman in love. A woman in love who stunk. I gathered up my clothes and set them on the dresser near my bed. Walked past Vance and into the bathroom to gather up two towels and one of those extra toothbrushes we bought. Then walked back out, with the pieces in my hand, and handed one towel and the toothbrush to Vance.
"You can use Erin's shower and if you get done before me you can use the kitchen to make you something to eat. Also, she has toothpaste and all that stuff in there, so you should be good." I smiled. Happiness radiating off of me. I was happy that he stayed. Happy that we woke up together. Just plainly - happy. And before I acted on my happiness and kiss the life out of him - and I knew that it wouldn't just stop at a kiss, and I had school to get to - with my towel in hand, I turned back around and moved myself in the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and was met with a monster. I looked fucking crazy. What was new though? He was going to see if at my worst - first in the morning - so I brushed it off. I needed to brush my hair, but it was all in due time.
And the time was running out. I yanked the shower curtain back and started to start the shower. As I turned the knob on, I spotted shaving cream on the shower rack. Should I shave? My mind was already made up because I went in my bathroom drawer and took out a razor. And yep, I ended up taking longer than usual in the bathroom. I was done with one leg and figured out that I had wasted a good amount of time shaving. I couldn't just have one leg shaved, so I just said fuck the time, and did the other one. I did what I needed to do in the shower, washed everything, shaved, soaked then got out. Dried off, both my hair and body. Lotioned. Did the regular routine then left the bathroom. When I opened the bathroom door, I had noticed I may have took extra long, long because Vance was there. Sitting on my bed. All washed, cleaned, and looking fucking sexy.
Shit, this was bad. Real bad for me because if he were to cock and finger and tell me to get on my knees down in front of him - I would do it. And that couldn't happen because ding ding school bitch.
"What are you doing?" I question him, still standing far away. And by far away, I meant in the bathroom's archway.
"Come over here."
It sounded like a demand. I took it as one. My feet moved the required steps it took to land in front of Vance. His legs slightly opened, he grabbed one of my hands, and put my body between his legs. I had to take a deep breath. I saw him take a deep breath. The emotions that were showing in his eyes - desire, need, amusement? - splashed, hit, shocked me and goosebumps spread all down my body. Pricked me with need. Pricked me with desire. But nope, not amusement because this was not a laughing matter.
I had school. Which I didn't want to go to, but I still I had school.
"Drop your towel."
Holy hell. The words school, education, and all thing food flew out of my mind. I couldn't do anything, wouldn't doing anything except follow his demand. Everything else around us became a blur. Only thing I was focused on was - dropping my towel. Which I did. It dropped with a thud and pooled around my feet. I was so happy that I had decided to shave, everywhere. I was smooth, moisturized to a T, and hoped my boobs looked extra perky. Some say the after you had sex, your boobs become perky and your skin glows. Let's hope mine was doing both.
"You smell so fucking good." His fingers were the devil. Making sinister moves - trailing his fingers up the inside of my thighs, then letting his thumb drag back and forth, slightly, over my sensitive slit. "I woke up with a hard on this morning. I had a dream of fucking your pussy raw in the shower." Another thumb movement - back and forth. I shuddered. "You should've invited me to join you."
"I-I couldn't. I have school." My voice came out hoarse. I was dehydrated. Needed to be drowned in something. Couldn't tell which one I needed more, Vance's release or Holy water.
"I know, baby. Which brings me to. . .where are your clothes?"
My eyes opened - didn't even know when I closed them - and I spotted my clothes behind him. I pointed over him, he got the hint and turned around. He brought the clothes to the edge of the bed, where we were stationed, and picked up my underwear. My plain Target underwear. Shit, I was embarrassed. Had I known he was going to be looking at my undergarments today, I would've put something on more, sexy. Like a thong. Shit.
"I can put my own clothes on." I said. Didn't know how I got my mouth to work, but it was moving.
"Don't care." He tapped the outside part my thighs. Twice. "Now lift up your legs and slide into these." I listened. My mouth and mind no longer wanting to disagree now that his hands landed back on me. I love his touch. Love his commands. Love the way his fingers trailed across my slit, one last time, as he put my underwear on. I was fighting a battle. A mental battle.
Should I fuck Vance or go to school?
My decision was made for me. Vance grabbed my skirt and I slid through that. He grabbed my bra and I put that on. He grabbed my shirt and I slid through that. Doing all of that, while ignoring my pulse. The one in my wrist and the one down under. Calling it a pulse was minimizing the feeling though. It was more like a pounding, a throbbing, a need.
A need that would have to wait because all of my clothes were now on my body.
With one final tap on bottom, he removed his hands from around me. "Finish getting ready. I'm going to make a smoothie for the road. You guys have smoothie stuff?" I nodded. "Do you want one too?" The same action as before repeated, I nodded.
He gave me one more parting look then left the room. Left his scent on my sheets. Left his touch on my body. Left his words from last night, this morning, and everything else before inside my mind. Shit, I was about to go off on another tangent and before that happened, I grabbed my phone and another shit was thought- I needed to get myself ready, quick. And quick, I went. Did the rest of my morning routine, hair and all that stuff and got my bag ready. Took one last look in the mirror, satisfied with my appearance and landed myself in the kitchen. With a smoothie in hand.
"Thank you." I said to Vance as he was putting the dishes he used away and in the sink.
"Your welcome." Was what came out of his mouth. He grabbed his drink then shut off the kitchen light. "You ready?"
"Yeah."
With our drinks in hand, we made our way to the door. I locked it up with my key and we moved our feet to the next location, his car. In less than a second, we arrived in his car and started it up to our next location, the school. In the car, things were amazing. The different conversations we were having were amazing. The way Vance involved himself with asking questions and what not, was amazing. Things were looking up. It was a brighter morning. A brighter day. Would be a bright week. The school came up and I internally groaned. I didn't want to go in, but I guess it was what I had to do to get a job.
He drove to the back of the school, pulled in some parking spot and cut of the engine. Damn, what was next? Goodbye?
"Thank you for. . ."Fucking me? Staying over? Making me a smoothie? Driving me to school? All of the above. "everything."
"You're welcome."
And fuck, I didn't know if it was because the way he was looking at me. Didn't know if it was a thank you for all the things he did. Didn't know what the reason was. Oh wait - I did know. Just because I fucking wanted to. I attached my hand to the back of his head, leaned both our heads in, and then connected his mouth to mine. And the same damn tingle I always got when I kissed Vance was there. It shocked me when his lips first met mine, shot down through my body then warmed all the placed where a kiss would affect. Warmed all the places were kisses counted.
The ground zero. The meat curtain. The come catcher. The hoo-ha. The birth cannon. The cock socket. The piss flaps. The wizard sleeve.
All of the above.
The main fucking point was that it shot down to my vagina. And when it hit that spot, I became boneless. Utterly boneless against his touch. Our mouths opened wider, heads slated more in opposite directions and tongues getting back in rhythm with one another's. Then flicked. The kiss got deeper, our mouths traveling deeper.
I forgot where we were. He forgot where we were. Our mouths were the only things that had memory - Mine was remembering the way Vance liked to be kissed. His remembering what I liked when we kissed. How I liked it when he would press down on my mouth, making it open up wider so he can enter his tongue in deeper. His hands recalled too, remembering where I liked to be touched. Remembering how rough I liked to be touched. One of his hands tightened around my waist as the other yanked my head down, even closer.
My head tipped back even farther as the kiss continued. The kiss that was just supposed to be a quick goodbye kiss, turning sinister. The pace of the kiss changing rapidly, becoming more messier, sloppier, desperate. Desperate for each other. His hands moved under my shirt, up up until his hand cuffed over my breast. Trailing a finger over my bra's underwire, then scooped under the material, and cuffed a hand right over my uncovered breast. After one tight squeeze, he moved his hand from under my shirt and cut off the kiss. A residue of spit had us still connected for a second, then with the lick of his lips, all traces of me were gone.
Well damn.
"Go on, get to school. I'll text you later." He said so nonchalant like he hadn't just kissed the life out of me.
But like the good listener I was, I followed his direction. He was right, I needed to get to class. I still needed to think of my future. And I could always talk to him later on the phone or something. "Okay, fine, bye." I tired not to seem irritated that the kiss was cut short. But once again, I had to remind myself that this was a good thing, I needed to get to class. "And thank you again for the ride Vance."
My hand found the door's handled and I pushed, lifted myself out of the seat and made my way to the school. Made my way to my class. And made my way inside my first period Monday's classroom then sat down in my seat. Twenty minutes later, I find myself scribbling down some notes that I knew I wasn't going to look back to after this day. I guess I was cut some luck today because my teacher called me up. Good, I didn't want to finish the note taking anyway.
"River, you are needed down at the front office. A dean wants to talk to you."
He said as I arrived at his desk but huh? I was confused. Did I cheat on something? Yeah, but I knew I didn't get caught. The test was a month ago. Were they just figuring that out now? And it wasn't a test in this classroom, so why was I being called form this classroom? "Oh, do you know why?" I asked, hoping maybe he could give me some details. He wasn't my favorite teacher but I got good grades in his class and always paid attention, so that got me high on his best-students list.
My professor shook his head. A real look of genuine sorrow showed on his face. "Sorry, no. And bring your stuff the note says you won't be back before class ends."
"Oh okay thanks." I say as I took the note and place it in my hand. I then moved to grab my stuff and silently scurried off and out the classroom. As I was making my way to the front office, all different types of questions began to rise in my head. What did they want to see me for? Was I in trouble? Maybe I should look on the brighter side, maybe I won some type of reward? Did people go to the dean to collect rewards? I wouldn't know. I never been to the office at all, except the first days when you have to get your schedule and stuff. I didn't know the fit thing about getting in trouble or getting 'talked to'.
Basically, I was a nervous, shaking wreck.
My steps halted, I arrived in front of the door. But something real interesting stopped me from going inside - James. James who a second ago just came out a room. The Dean's room. What the fuck? I walked in the office - confused, mad, nervous, and pissed. Again, what the fuck was James doing here?
Then it all hit me - James seeing Vance and I kiss, in his classroom. It made sense. It totally made sense.
If that fucker told on me, I swear-
"Ms. Ballas?" My head yanked to the side, looking at the dean. Didn't know his names since I was barely in here. But he looked. . .nice? Maybe he wouldn't suspend me? Maybe everything was going to be okay? "Hi, can I ask you a few questions?"
Everything was not going to be okay.
Everything was going to turn into shit.
Every single thing in my life was going to fall apart and who did I have to blame? James. James, the man who was sporting an evil smirk as he passed me by, exiting out the office.
That big mouth, never-kept-a-secret, lying-piece-of-shit, I bet had a small dick mother-fucker.
I was screwed.
And I knew deep down, I only had myself to blame.
***
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