- Olivia -
The bathroom was all fogged up, I could only see about an inch or two in front of me. I loved really hot showers, the hot water just soothed my skin and washed all my stress of school and life away. But just for those given moments while in the water. I expected that everyone would be gone from the dorm by the time I got out, all heading down so they didn't miss breakfast. I could care less if I ate or not, I would eventually eat during the day.
The steam leaked from my bathroom to the door almost as if there was a fog machine, the cold air mixed with my warm body made chills run down my spine. "Shit why is there so much steam" I let out a yelp gripping the towel around me tighter. He was just laying on my bed reading my book as if it was normal.
"Draco get the fuck out, why are even still here?"
He shrugged closing my book and tossing it on my nightstand with a small thud. He forced his body up as he swung his legs off the bed standing. "So you and Blaise do have something going on, shocked but not really seeing as a whore like you would go from dick to dick" his expression was clam and collective as if he just asked me if I wanted a butter beer. So I was tainted and a whore, how lovely.
"Think what your ferret brain will but nothing is going on with me and Blaise, far from that in fact. What where you doing on my bed anyways wouldn't want to get my filth on you now would you" I scoffed flattening out my sheets and comforter as he wrinkled them, but I guess he dried my soaked bed and made it?
"Aww did my words hurt your pathetic little heart last night"
I rolled my eyes, one hand was still squeezing my towel tight as the other rummaged through my wardrobe looking for a fresh button up and skirt. "No not really but why don't you stop bugging me and go shag your girlfriend" I gave a sarcastic smile, his face pulled an amused smirk shoving his hands in this pockets and leaning against my bed post crossing one leg over the other.
"Jealous now, but Astoria is not my girlfriend"
"Don't be ashamed of your little pet, has she told you how her fifth year classes are. I remember they were the biggest pain the ass" She was a year younger than us, and was Daphnes little sister. The Greengrass were alright? spoiled to the core and could have way better manner for being pureblood?- yes without hesitation.
"Now I suggest you leave before you see your little sisters boobs and ass" I quoted him from dinner the other night. His face got more stern as he walked over to the door, "Oh and bye the way dick move letting Diggory go down on you after I stood up for in front of the whole school" his face shriveled up in disgust, I called out as he walked out.
"I didn't ask for that by the way" I was only met with a door slamming.
"But thanks-" I muttered to myself as I got dressed.
I didn't realize the time and I was going to be late for Transfiguration, I stumbled into the classroom making it just in time as the bell echoed through the hallow school. Blaise slides me an under the table high five for my time management, we all knew I was either late or just about late, never early though. "Today we will be doing something very different today just for some fun" Mcgonagall walked to the front, I rested my head in my hand letting out an already bored sigh.
"seeing as this is transfiguration, I have borrowed a boggart from the DA class. I have tied the two classes together since the fear would be changing - transfiguring - into something laughable" oh well this just got interesting and my morning just started. Kind of.
We all got lined up all waiting to see each others worse fears. Ron saw Hermione die, Harry saw himself ending up alone- everyone leaving him. Draco saw his mother die a painful death which was hard for me to watch as well, she was like a second mom to me in a way.
It was my turn, Pansy gave me a thumbs up encouraging me to step forward. The little butterfly floating around turned into a dark swirling smoke, once it died down it revealed...me? fake me looked me up and down with a sneered face, Is that really what I looked like? no wonder he never paid attention to me in a good way, shit I needed an upgrade.
"You'll never be enough, for anyone. Just a disappointment that was thrown in the trash-" great everyone gets to hear my inner thoughts "Insecurity's is that the best this stupid cabinet can do" I scoffed crossing my arms. Just as I went to say Riddikulus I continued, "Oh and bye the way before you turn me into some pathetic object hear this" damn even fake me was snappy, she walked up whispering in my ear.
"Your going to die alone cause no one want's a filthy pureblood, no wonder everyone hits it and then leaves. Draco was right all you are is filth and nothing more, Astoria on the other hand is as pure as you can get them. She's not a fucking whore looking for attention, why don't you go slit your wrists so you can rid everyone of your presence it's an inconvenience. But do be successful this time"
Fake me backed up with a shit eating grin, I was stunned by my own words but it was true. I gulped raising a shaky hand "Riddikulus" fake me waved as she turned into a balloon flying away. Everyone was silent as I turned around still trying to process what just happened, I didn't know boggart's could do that. I stood there for a second, without knowing my hand went to my wrist slowly rubbing it.
"Well that was interesting" Mcgonagall said motioning me to move aside with the other students, I blinked a few times and then moved not saying a word. "What the fuck was that" Pansy whispered in my ear as another student went, I shrugged my shoulders "did anyone hear the second half" she shook her head. I let out a breath and my eyes made there way to Draco who was already staring back at me, he mouthed ' what happened ' but I just turned my eyes back to the boggart.
It was Blaises turn, I could tell he had an idea of what it would be. The smoke spun then hit the floor, I have never seen him before and I didn't want to see him again after this. He wore a long deep black drench coat that was open, he was tall and his hair was somewhat crazy. Jeans and a white T were poking out but not really. Blaise froze, I could see this bottom lip start to quiver.
Pansy looked at me with sorrow in her eyes, I slowly nodded a yes making her tightly close her eyes. A tear ran down her cheek, he took a step forward making Blaise stumble back tripping over his feet. Without a second thought I ran in front of him I yelled "Riddikulus" the man turned into a bunny hopping away.
He was still frozen, I placed a hand on his shoulder making him flinch away but then grab me into a bone crushing hug once he saw it was me. "Don't worry he's gone, he won't ever touch you again" I mumbled in his ear. I helped him up I motioned for Pansy to follow us as we left the class with no explanation.
/*
"Fuck you Dumbledore would win any day over Hootch" Blaise was so sure Dumbledore could secretly play quidditch and that he was a god at it. Theo scoffed shaking his head while taking a bite of his turkey leg "Dude you're dumb as shit one he's like a hundred years old and two Hootch is the literal quidditch teacher."
"Hey so why don't we have a few drinks tonight, just the two of us" Pansy cuts my hearing of the boys argument mumbling in my ear, I looked back to see Draco smirking at me. I gave him a 'what' look "So drinks in your dorm tonight, is that what I heard" my eyes naturally rolled "No-" I was cut off by Theo groaning "Fuck yes, I need a drink" well there goes out girls night.
Even if we told them no, or locked them out they always found a way in.
"Hey" I looked up to see Astoria with a bright smile, fuck it was perfect I groaned in my head. His hand snaked around her waist pulling her closer, I don't even know why I like this boy or why this bothers me so badly. Maybe it was the way we treated each other, I wish it was never like that. I wish we were back in my garden before Hogwarts was even a big thought for us, we would just play and run around. He would say how he wanted to marry me and I would stick my tongue out in disgust.
I don't want to marry him, nothing like that. He just gave me that weird feeling in an odd way.
It was unexplainable in a way.
"I'm headed to the restroom" I pushed my plate away, her stupid gorgeous eyes looked over at me. I gave a forced smile, that's what I did most of my life, hide behind a smile.
"I'll join" Pansy had barely touched her dinner but was happily skipping away as I walked behind her. Pansy knew I had a tiny crush on Draco but she also just in general couldn't stand Astoria, Daphne and Pansy were never on good terms making me and her not on good terms. But Astoria and Pansy, she was just collateral damage to it all.
"God she's alway walking around like she's so innocent and is just this cute little puppy-" Pansy sneered in annoyance, "I bet you she's only fucking Draco to get to his money since daddy still makes her share with her horrid sister" I never thought of that, Astoria using him? When I thought about it that way it made me feel better that nothing was actually going on. But hurt more that Draco seemed to be utterly consumed by her, for her to not really care back.
"That would be horrible but I wouldn't put it past her"
"He should be with you" I chocked on my spit as he groaned those words. I froze while we sat in the bathroom chatting about all this, I have never said anything like that out loud or heard it before, yeah I thought it once and once only but it was a mere thought and nothing more.
"Your funny" I it off as she pushed her tiny body off the wall standing in the big opening of the bathroom, I never got why our bathrooms were so large. "I'm serious that's what I am, I know you have your little crush on him and all but i'm truly saying this. You would be better for him"
"It's not what or who is better it's weather he's happy or not and he seem's very happy"
"Yeah yeah whatever" she pouted sliding her back down the wall bringing her knees to her chest. There was a silence as we just thought for a second, I liked to think but some times if I do it to much it gets bad. Putting unreal thoughts in my head making me feel more like filth than I already am.
"So you and Blaise huh?" a small blush crept onto her face as she nibbled on her bottom lip trying to hide her smile.
"Yeah, weird I know but it just feels right with him"
"Was he the one that you kicked me out of the dorm for?" she giggled and nodded, I was happy to see her happy. I would do anything to make my friends happy even if it meant I wasn't that much.
/*
I laughed as Draco and Blaise stood wobbly not even able to keep their eyes open. Draco said some shit and now they were attempting to fight. I only had one or two drinks not wanting to be dead for class, these stupid fucks had a whole bottle. And it was a jumbo size which was supposed to be me and Pansy's supply for the month and maybe a little after that.
And with a thud Draco is face first on the floor, the swing of his punch was to much for his intoxicated body. I laugh as he just laying there groaning and mumbling things to Blaise who was standing there asleep.
"I call Blaise"
"Fuck you" I alway had to take Draco's baby ass back to their dorm, one he was heavy as hell and two it took ages. He would always want to stop and look or touch things.
Pansy was there and back in no time as we stood in the middle of the common room his hand moving back and forth on leather couch. Oh and Merlin forbid I stop him, that only makes him go all three year old tantrum on me.
We made it to his door, I propped him against the wall so I could open the door. He fell using me as leverage.
"A- Astoria"
"Nope sorry to disappoint"
"Fuck" hiccup "You're so pretty, no beyond that nothing compares to you" he slurred as I dragged his body to his bed.
"I t-think" hiccup "I l-love you" hiccup "but I don't k-know what love" hiccup "is"
My heart shattered at his words, but what did I expect. The way they laugh and play together of course they're in love. And I can't be mad or upset about that, I had no one to blame other than myself. For letting me feel what I did for him when I know and knew nothing could ever come from it.
"I w-want" hiccup "to marry you" hiccup "Someday" I pulled the covers over him, his eyes not even open anymore as his lips smacked together making a wet noise.
"I'm sure you'll make her very happy Draco" he gave a faint smile.
That night I cried. At the fact that even if there was a tiny chance of me ending up with him, it was gone now. Crushed into a million pieces, drunk words are sober thoughts. Why did I have to want someone who I couldn't have. It was like I wanted to torture myself.