⚠️TW: Child death⚠️
This chapter is based on one of the Spiderman comics. I think it was called "The kid who collects Spider-man."
Edit: BRUH I ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISHED THIS AND FREAKED OUT CAUSE IT WASNT FINISHED
*3RD POV*
Peter took slow, sluggish steps down the sidewalk, nothing in him to care about his sopping wet suit. Not a person was in sight so it was silent, except for the droplets of rain hitting the ground.
He was so tired but he knew he wouldn't sleep that night.
His chest felt tight and all he wanted to do was scream and cry but he didn't have it in him to do anything but walk with his mind on autopilot.
Patrol hadn't gone well the past few weeks, he hadn't slept much, and of course that affected school and his overall mood.
He heard May talking to Tony a few nights prior about it when she thought Peter was asleep. She'd asked him if he noticed anything happened on patrol and Peter heard Tony said he'd check the baby monitor.
Well, Peter had Karen sensor out the events of the last few nights and the view of Peter's frustrated tears slipping down his cheeks under the mask as he threw a slow, exhausted punch towards a robber.
Peter was just a mess.
He tried, he really did try but it hadn't been enough lately.
He kept letting the bad guys go because of him being distracted. Peter had went to punch a robber but after the man dodged, Peter's fist had ended up slamming against an innocent person, landing them in the hospital. God, he felt awful after that. After his many failures, Spider-man was getting more hate on the media.
Tonight was just the tipping point though.
~~Flashback~~
"Spider-man?"
Peter turned around to see a boy- probably around 9 years old, dressed in a hospital gown and sneakers.
The hero had been leaning against the wall of an alleyway, frustratingly pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes after another shitty patrol. Another damn robber getting away. The past month had seemed like it was just screw up after screw up
He tilted his head in confusion, kneeling down to the child's height.
"Oh- hey kid. What's your name?" "I'm Thomas." Peter didn't miss the weak wheeze in his voice. "Are you ok?" "Oh...I'm supposed to be at queens children's hospital. The nurse lady says I'm sick. I haven't been allowed to leave for a while. "
That's when Peter realised how sickly he really looked. His frame was small and skinny, and his cheekbones were visable.
'Fuck,' Peter thought, his heart panging in sympathy.
"Well Thomas... what- what brought you to me?" "I've always wanted to meet you. I see you on youtube all the time! You're aweso-!" The boy's excitement was cut off by a bought of coughing.
Peter patted his back a few times, wanting to do something for him.
"Hey... what do you say I take you back?" His smile seemed to falter at that, though Peter was quick to add, "Spiderman style." Excitement twinkled In Thomas' eyes yet again. "Yes please!"
The whole way back, the kid weakly giggled in excitement. Though, all Peter felt was guilt. He was a little kid, he was really sick. He could see the doctors and nurses frantically running around looking for him.
Peter held his small hand and walked inside, immediately being crowded by what seemed like the whole staff.
"Thank you Spider-man! I can't believe he slipped out-" "It's no problem ma'am. Do you mind if I walk him to his room?" "Of course. He's room 348."
Peter thanked her, walking towards the direction she'd pointed to.
The boy looked a bit sad to be going back to his room so Peter tried making conversation. Maybe he needed a distraction.
"So Thomas, any hobbies?" He looked up at the hero with a smile. "I like drawing! I have a bunch in my room!" He dragged Peter the rest of the way to the small room, snatching a small pile of paper he had on a desk. Others littered the wall and the young hero was surprised at the complexity of them at an age like Thomas'.
"A lot of them are superhero's! Like you, and Ironman, and the hulk! Besides you, hulk is my favourite superhero! He's cool! And he's Doctor Banner too and he's really smart!" Peter chuckled,
"Those are awesome. Do you like science like Doctor Banner?" "Yeah I love science! I wanna be a science- person when I grow up!"
Peter sighed, upset at how much this kid reminded him of himself. He'd loved superhero's and science just as much as him and the innocence in his eyes... god it hurt.
"Hey... what do you say I come back tomorrow to say hi... I could show you how my webs work.." "Really? That would be awesome!"
Peter had continued to come back every few days, despite the hard patrols he'd had, showing the kid how his webshooters worked and such. He also took time to visit other kids, seeing how happy it made them and the doctors were more than thankful.
Through the weeks though, Peter watched as Thomas' health declined more and more.
It wasn't long before doctors informed him the boy might not have long before the end of his life came.
Peter was crushed.
He'd come to like, even love the kid. He was so much like him and he was so innocent and optimistic, so talented.
"There's nothing you can do?" Peter choked out, his throat closing up.
Stop it, Spiderman doesn't cry.
"We'll continue to try but if not... the best we can do is keep him comfortable and happy."
So Peter did. He visited more than before, because Spider-man's presence made Thomas happy.
He was so focused on Spider-Man and Thomas that he'd been ignoring everything else in his life.
After staying out a full night patrolling and May had sat up waiting for him, he got a text.
May: Honey I didn't want to say anything but you've been distant lately, distracted even. Your grades are mostly good, a few B-'s here and there but you're barely coming home before the morning and when you get back, you're always injured and you're not sleeping. I know you think you're good at hiding it but I'm a nurse, I can see it all easily. I'm not mad I'm just worried about you and I just think we should talk about it, tell me what's wrong. If not me, than Tony. I love you sweetie.
Peter felt a pang if guilt. He didn't want her to worry about him... the nights he stayed out so long, he hadn't realized until he checked the time. Besides, he wouldn't be able to sleep anyway.
Tony: you know I'm not good at all the mushy stuff but I've gotta be honest kiddo, you're worrying me. You've looked tired lately and this is coming from the king of insomnia. You're having a hard time and that's ok. I just want you to know I'm around if you need anything and I miss my favorite kid- intern.
Peter sent them a 'thank you' and 'everything's fine' to both of them. He really was fine. Adding one more thing onto his plate should be fine too. Spiderman could do anything.
~~~
The light in Thomas' eyes eventually faded and it was twisting Peter's heart painfully every time he saw the boy. He would just sit with him sometimes, and listen to the heart monitor beep slowly. He'd distract him with stories of the avengers. Thomas would always smile but he just looked tired.
"-And then Steve went through the wall and cursed and everyone in the room yelled 'language' it was pretty funny-"
"H-Hey Spider-man?" Peter almost didn't hear the weak voice. It was the first time he'd talked in a while.
Beep.
"Yeah?"
"..Who are you?"
Beep.
"I'm Peter," he replied, barely a hint of hesitation in his voice. When he slipped off his mask, Thomas smiled wider than he had in weeks.
"Nice to meet you."
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Peter gave a small smile back,
"Nice to meet you too Thomas."
The small boy took a breath that sounded more like a wheeze. "Thanks for being my friend Peter."
The beeping became more and more rapid by the second, just like Peter's heartbeat as he began to panic.
"Wha- no, no wait-"
He called for a doctor desperately, messily throwing the mask back on. He was pushed out of the room despite his protests.
Peter paced up and down the hall, his mind on autopilot. He had to make it. He was a kid, the world wouldn't take a kid like this, would it? It wouldn't be this cruel-
"Spider-man."
Peter looked up. He was glad they couldn't see the broken look on his face as he watched their heads shake in disappointment.
~~~~Flashback over~~~~
'Spider-man doesn't cry,
Spider-man doesn't cry,
Spider-man doesn't cry,'
Peter had to chant it in the back of his head to stop himself from letting his legs give out and just collapse.
No one was out in the streets, no cars, no bikes. The raindrops were thick like the unshed tears that sat in Peter's eyes, waiting for him to blink. It was as if the world was mourning the loss of the boy, as if it hadn't been the one to take him.
God, he was just a kid.
He was just a fucking kid.
A dry sob tore through Peter's lips as he felt the world becoming smaller, pushing against him until he couldn't breathe.
His chest burned as he tried to hold all of his grievance inside.
He was a failure, what kind of superhero was he?
All he did was disappoint everyone.
Peter ran as his thoughts rushed in on him.
Run, run, just run.
But where would he go? He couldn't go home like this, Peter couldn't worry May more than he already had.
It was as if his brain shut off after that. He didn't know where he was running until he found himself at the compound.
Peter made a beeline for the training room, needing something to focus on, anything.
A punching bag came into his vision.
He clenched his shaking hand into a fist, pulling it back and launching it towards the bag.
And he did it again, and again.
Peter punched the bag until he felt his knuckle split, a small smear of blood on the material.
He took a few shaky breaths, letting thick tears slip down his cheeks.
'Failure, failure, failure.'
Peter could still hear the rapid beeping of the heart monitor.
He started punching faster and harder.
"Pete? What're you doing here? Why's your suit all wet?"
The voice sounded like it was underwater.
"Peter! Stop it! Kid, whats's wrong?
He was pulled away, his arms squeezed down to his sides as someone hugged him from behind. It was enough to draw a cry of frustration out of him.
"Hey, hey. Pete look at me."
Peter knew it was Tony by the worried tone. He shook his head vigorously, refusing to look the man in the eye.
'Hold the fucking tears in Parker. Don't embarrass yourself. You've screwed up enough.'
"Ok. That's fine kid, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. We can just sit here for a sec. Is that alright with you?" He nodded as the two slowly knelt to the floor. Peter barely noticed as he continued focusing on keeping his tears in, taking quick, shallow breaths.
'Spider-man doesn't cry,
Spider-man doesn't cry,'
Tony carded a hand through his hair.
"Just let me know when you're ready to talk."
'S-Spider-man doesn't cry,
Spider-man doesn't-'
Peter crumbled.
Tony was quick to hug him as he sobbed into his shoulder, their grip on each other tight.
He let out all the stress and anger he'd felt these past few months, he let out the sadness he felt for the boy he'd come to see as a good friend.
A kid
A fucking kid.
Peter's shoulders shook at the sob that tore through his throat.
Tony sat with him for what felt like an eternity, just being there for him. No complaints, just comforting words and quips to make the mood lighter.
When Peter finally calmed, he left for a few moments to grab a gauze wrap. He motioned for Peter to give him his bloodied, blistered hand, finally speaking.
"Ok kid, can you try and tell me what happened? I just want to help out here."
Peter stressfully carded a his other hand through his hair, "Uh, y-yeah. I'm s-" "No apologising. You didn't do anything wrong."
Peter went silent again before he saw Tony look at him with sincere, concerned eyes.
He sighed, "O-ok..."
As soon as he started, everything spilled from his mouth. Every detail of all the screw ups he'd had and how angry people had been lately, and he didn't want aunt May to worry.
He told him about Thomas and how much of a great person he was. How he loved the avengers, and science, and drawing.
How he had a childish light in his eyes that slowly died and seeing it had been breaking Peter from the inside out.
"-And I showed him who I was and he just- he- he died that minute and I-"
Peter didn't notice the tears sliding down his face until then. He wiped them away harshly, angry at himself for not doing enough.
"Pete."
"Mhm.."
Standing once again, Tony guided him into a hug, letting Peter's head press against his chest.
"You did everything right for this kid, you know that? You made him as happy as you could and he was 100% grateful for that... ok? You did everything right. As for the mistakes on patrols, everyone makes those. Anyone will agree with me when I say I know most about mistakes. Rhodey probably has a list. The media will be dramatic but they don't matter. They don't know you."
"O-ok... I'm sorry."
"Pete-"
"I know, It's just- I'm Spider-Man, I'm not supposed to be this- this emotional! I'm supposed to be a hero and strong- Spider-man doesn't cry!"
"Kid, just because you're a superhero doesn't mean you can't have emotions, ok? You're allowed to feel whatever the hell you want to feel. You don't have to be this big strong hero all the time, you can let your guard down. Spider-man's allowed to cry."
Peter looked up at the man.
Spider-man's allowed to cry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Words- 2458
Sorry I've been gone so long motivation rly said fucc you
Also the ending is rly shitty but on the bright side I've got a load of drafts ready 👌
Welp bye for now :)