A/N:
so i just realized the way this story is going im almost done writing- theres still many chapters left just not as many as i thought.
i think there was 40 something chapters total? imma have to check my notes.
ALSO:
i usually post every other day, but things have been crazy and apparently only 7 days have passed? i dunno felt like longer
and i feel bad you were robbed of a shower scene last chapter, i hope this makes up for
it😌
anyways, enjoy this chapter xx
TW// self harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, abuse, depression
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LOUIS' POV:
the walls were beige, the paintings were bright. different colours... blue, green, red, pink, purple and so on. magazines lines the side tables. ed sheeran's new album out in april! pre orders now was the tag line for one of those tween magazines.
"louis?" a soft voice spoke out from around the corner. "if you could follow me please?" it was a woman, nice blonde hair tied back into a bun, she was in a grey power suit. she looked quite professional.
she led me into a small room that was just off the narrow hallway. she carefully opened the door to the sight of harry fiddling with his hands, leg bouncing up and down. "right louis, im doctor carrie. how are you?"
"im alright, you?" i asked sitting down next to harry. his eyes met with mine, the look of horror to relaxation came quick. "ive been alright"
she started to explain why i was called in "you want my side of things and harold here is withholding information?" it came out more than a question when i cut her off
she seemed taken back by my answer. "um- well if you dont mind sharing your perspective of it" she managed to shake her head of whatever thoughts she had.
"well uh, last week around three in the morning was it?" i questioned, harry nodded.
i quickly wrapped my arms around him and pulled his body into my chest, letting him lean back against me.
"right, i woke up to hazza screaming stop stop stop repeatedly. i knew from that moment what he was dreaming about" i sighed looking down at him. "i had tried for about five minutes to wake him up... he then almost fell into a panic attack"
harry looked up at me with this whyd you tell her look running through his eyes. i felt bad- but i had to tell her... right?
"thank you louis" she looked up at me then made eye contact with harry. "its all we have time for today, i recommend getting another appointment with in the next week or so... drive safe"
"thank you" i smiled lifting harry off my chest and up to the floor. "bye" he mumbled before making a quick exit.
we walked back to the car park in silence, the air on the drive home was filled with faint music, at one point niall made his way in there... as he should.
we got back to the apartment, harry walking off to our room. i sighed while i got started on tea and lunch.
i didnt hear any more movement other than my own. i looked back down the hall to see no light from under the door, meaning he fell a sleep.
i finished of the pot noodle and tea making my way down the thin walk way and somehow managing to open the door.
i carefully placed the bowls and mugs down onto my night stand and climb under the covers with him. we faced each other, his soft breathing hitting my chest as i wrapped my arms around him.
only a minute or so later he opened his eyes. i smiled kissing his temple. "made lunch" i said softly. he stared at me sitting up "and you didnt burn down the building?" he took took his cuppa from my hand.
"i can make a few things" i nudged him "pot noodle is just my specialty"
he nodded taking a sip of the tea before placing the mug on his nightstand and taking his pot noodle from my hand.
i grabbed the remote of my nightstand and flicked the telly on to netflix. we had gotten a but of extra money and got a telly for our room which was nice.
we dont abuse it, we do use the other one in the living area as it's bigger but for lazy days its nice to have.
i took a sip of my cuppa, flicking through different shows and movies. i finally settles for the bee movie. we finished our lunch, laughing and making some small commentary.
our legs ended up getting intertwined along with the rest of our bodies. im not sure where we left the movie, but with his lips molded with mine and our tongues fighting i didnt really care.
our shirts ended up on the floor eventually. "lou" he breathed out pulling away. i smiled softly at him, his pupils dilated, his curly chocolate locks messed up, his voice hoarse and raw. "yeah love" i replied just as breathless as he was.
"c-can... never mind"
"baby what is it?" i asked, his hot breath hitting my lips as i tried to hold myself up on top of him.
"its- embarrassing..." he mumbled, staring up at me.
"what did i tell you? nothing you could ever say would be embarrassi-" he smash his lips against mine.
the air in the room got intensely hot insanely fast. both of our hard on rubbed together as he bucked his hips up. "ca- uhm... can you-"
"can i what?" i breathed out.
he didnt speak, yet he grabbed my hands pulling me into another heated kiss. i moved from his lips to his neck, knowing how badly that love bite is going to show.
he moved my hands from his hips over to his ass, then moving his own hands back up my body. i slipped my hands underneath the material of his joggers and pants squeezing his ass.
he held back a small moan. i felt my finger run over his hole, with that he frantically shook his head yes. i broke our kiss looking in his eyes. "yes what baby?"
"please- lou... i- i need..." his breathing was short, the air was the heaviest its ever been. "i - please..."
"you gotta use your words princess" my hands still gripped his ass, the one finger hover over his hole.
i removed that one finger for a moment, watching how he gasped as he pushed his ass back up against my finger. "lou... fuck... fing-"
"want me to finger you?" i asked, my mind felt fuzzy.
he nodded, begging me to. "are you sure?"
"yes... just please-" and i thought it wasnt possible to get turned on even more, he just proved me wrong. him begging was probably the hottest thing other than him alone ive ever seen.
"do we have lube?" i questioned since we havent done anything like this before.
"my nightstand- um... top drawer" his chest moving up and down as he breathed. i nodded in a but of shock, i reached over opening the drawer to see a half empty bottle of lube.
the thought of him fingering himself was just too much. "are you a hundred percent sure baby?" i asked again.
"fuck- you dont need... to ask me a hundred- t.. times" his breathing was still heavy "im a thousand percent sure" he reassured me.
"if its too much you use..."
"yes i know- red... just please lou" he whined.
i quickly smashed out lips together for the millionth time, my lips already felt swollen yet wet. i placed the lube next to us on the bed. my hands slowly making their way down his body.
i tugged off his joggers, and slowly his pants as he did the same to mine. we continue to feel every inch of each others body. its become a habit to do so, im not complaining though i love feeling every inch of his body.
all his curves, curls, smooth skin, sometimes tracing his tattoos. if i traced his anchor he would trace my rope. the same to all our matching tattoos.
if we did that, we would stop kissing for a moment and just look at each other for a moment, taking everything in. which is what we are doing now...
i was tracing over his heart as he traced over my arrow. i took all of him in, his facial features, the way his curls fell when he would lay down, how soft his skin was even if he was hot and sweaty, the way his pupils were so dilated yet the emerald colour of his irises shown through.
he is just so beautiful, i still couldnt believe hes mine. after a minute i grabbed the lube, looking into his eyes for another confirmation for this.
he rolled his eyes, shook he head yes as her leaned up to kiss me. i knew he was telling the truth, he never lies in these situations.
we continued to kiss hungrily for a few more minutes until i finally opened the bottle of lube. i placed a decent amount on my fingers. it was cold but i all was okay again when i looked back up to see harry all spread out for me.
he looked vulnerable, but i wasnt going to let myself take advantage of that.
i came back to face him, our heavy breathing mixed in the air. i gave him a quick kiss, which turned into a sloppy heated kiss.
i placed my finger by his hole, circling it. he moaned slightly into my mouth, making me almost moan as well. "stop- teasing.." he managed to say.
i felt a smirk appear on my face. "dunno princess, thats up to me"
i finally decided to give him a break and actually get where we were going. i slowly pushed one finger in, he was quick to clench around it.
if he did that for one finger i can only imagine two and three. our kissing was sloppy, especially after he wrapped his hand around me.
i slid in another finger, he became a moaning mess very soon after. he tugged and pulled at my cock as i worked my fingers in and out of him.
i soon after had three fingers in him, i crooked my fingers to find his spot. which didnt take long.
he was still working me, i was quite close but didnt want to cum first. i took my free hand and grabbed hold of his wrist, pinning his arm above his head.
the look of innocence crossed his eyes as he spoke "dont want me to take care of you?" he gave me a little pout.
"not unless i take care of you first" i whispered in his ear. he looked me up and down before taking his other free hand around my cock. "might not work that way" he winked taking a quick squeeze at me.
i let out a sharp moan quickly gathering my thoughts, which were all over the place even after and crooked my fingers again to hit his prostate.
he quickly lost control reaching for his own cock when i grabbed it first. i started pumping him, still pushing my fingers in and our of him.
he then went back to pump my cock, rough and fast. we both came with a cry all over his chest, feeling how sticky we both were.
i gave him a kiss, we were both smiling into it. i got up, went to the bathroom and came back with a wet flannel.
i wiped both of us down, throwing the flannel across the room letting it land where ever. we wrapped around each other getting into a comfortable position.
it had become natural for us to easily get comfortable, knowing each other so well. "that was incredible" harry breathed, smiling into my chest.
our naked bodies still sweating under the covers. "youre incredible" i smiled into his messy curls.
"thank you... so much" he spoke just above a whisper as he was slowly falling asleep.
"for what?"
"being my safe place"
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A/N:
OKAY THIS WAS RUSHED- IM SORRY
i wanted something out, so here you go
stay safe xx