I look at y/n as she walks out of the common room. I wish I had said goodbye or at least smiled at her. I wonder if I said something that ticked her off.
I look at my homework and the small corrections she made. I could vaguely tell; only because I had studied her handwriting since I first started developing feelings for my h/c haired best friend.
That was all the way back in third year during holiday break. I remember that day clearly. How we had sat in the snow for hours just talking and letting the light snow fall around us like rose petals. She had grabbed a handful of snow and had blown it in my face. I had felt her soft breath on me and that instantly made me happy, even though I did a good job of hiding it.
I would do anything to have it go back to that day. Just me and y/n. No boys nagging for her attention and no girls wanting to have girls-only sleepovers which ended up her being a 5th wheel.
Lost in my thoughts, I realize I am almost late for potions. I grab my homework and my books and leave the common room in a hurry.
When I reach Snape's classroom, I see y/n sitting by Leona with an empty chair beside her. I contemplate sitting down next to her but before I can, a Ravenclaw boy slides into the chair I want to sit in and immediately begins flirting with y/n by playing with her soft h/c hair.
Sick, I was about to strut over there and save her but then my friend calls out "Cedric! Over here!" Reluctantly, I went to sit with my friends.
I examine the boy while pulling out my book. He has raven colored hair which falls near one of his dark brown eyes. When he moves his head, his hair shifts a little and falls right back into place.
I think about myself. I wonder if wavy taffy colored hair and gray eyes was y/n's type over straight dark colored hair and dark brown eyes.
Glancing at her, I feel like I'm about to throw up when I see her giggling at something the Ravenclaw boy just said.
"Turn to page 349," Snape says in his deep voice. "Mr. Rutherford, go back to your seat."
I watch as the Ravenclaw boy lets go of her hair to return back to his seat. I immediately feel happy when y/n pulls at her hair to put it back into place. Then she looks at Leona and pretends to throw up. Leona laughs and tries to hide it by putting a hand over her mouth.
"Yesterday you took notes on the wit-sharpening potion. Today, you are going to attempt to make it while carefully following the instructions in the book," Snape instructed. "You have one hour. Begin."
I read the instructions in the book. The first step is to get Ginger Root. There are three shelves with the ingredient. I see y/n heading over to one and quickly run over there to get one off the shelf for her.
"Thanks," she says, smiling awkwardly.
"Anything for you- I mean- anytime- I mean- you're welcome- or no problem," I stutter. Then I realize I'm being awkward and run back to my cauldron.
She gives me a confused look but brushes it off.
After class is over, I run out faster than the speed of light.
"CEDRIC!" y/n calls. But I'm long gone.
I run upstairs and lock myself in the prefect's bathroom to hide from her, completely forgetting that y/n's a prefect too.
She barges into the bathrooms and dumps her books on the floor.
"Cedric!" she says, running up to me. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, y/n. Forget it," I say.
"Yeah, it is nothing. You just gave me some Ginger Root in class, why are you acting all weird about it? I appreciated it!"
"Good," I say, turning around. "I gotta go study." I leave her in the bathroom, dumbfounded.
I run up to my dorm, ignoring the calls from my friends when I reach the common room. I find my journal.
Dear y/n,
You're incredibly smart. Just not always emotionally. I thought I made it obvious that I like you by now. We've been friends since first year. Am I supposed to just like you as a friend forever? No not happening. Not when your e/c eyes are always shining brighter than the moon and stars. Not when your h/c hair is always flowing over your shoulders like calming waterfalls. Not as long as you just keep being yourself. Because I like you for who you are. And nothing is going to change that. Just please catch my signs...
Love always,
Your Ced
I read over my letter. It's short. It would be a quick read. But I already know that I don't have the guts to do that. I already knew that when I started writing that letter, it was never meant to be sent to her. It was meant to be kept in the small box I hid under my bed.
My roommates never checked under beds, making it the best place to hide the small tin box with a picture of us on it. I knew I wanted to write her letters she would never receive. I just didn't know how. Until now.