Rhane Park
While Haruto and I were on our own little world, learning the dance little by little, I felt uneasy and light headed. My vision became blurry and the room seemed to be spinning or was it my head that was spinning.
The chattering and bickering of our classmates suddenly became so loud because it pierced through my ears and made the spinning of my head even worse. I know this isn't because of the close contact that I have with Haruto at the moment, it's much worse than that.
I felt like my soul had left my body and it wasn't really a good feeling, to be honest.
I cussed a quiet "shit" under my breath because I knew this isn't right and luckily, Haruto didn't hear it because he was too busy on minding his steps, making sure he won't step on me.
I tightened my grip onto Haruto's hand which made him turn to look at me, I might've looked normal because he didn't look alarmed.
Fortunately, the next dance step allowed us to come closer to your partners so I took this chance to rest my head onto Haruto's chest to support my weight and just shut my eyes to stop the spinning.
"Hey, don't you think it's a bit early for that? it's just the rehearsals" he asked, taking my action in a romantic way
"No, Haruto, I-" before I could even finish my sentence, my legs weakened making me lose my balance. He gladly caught me so I wouldn't awfully fall on the floor but I know his bare arms couldn't support my whole weight so he slowly sat on the floor to lay me down while repeatedly calling out my name.
His voice sounded faint as I lost my consciousness at every second that passes, the last thing I saw before everything turned black was students and finally, the teacher crowding me to see what was happening.
As my vision turned blurry and blurry and the sounds grew faint, I laid there with half of my body in Haruto's arms and the other half was lying on the gym floor, my greatest fear at that moment was looking like a drunken lifeless girl in the arms of a good-looking and handsome boy.
~~~~~
I opened my eyes, blinked a few times and squinted when my eyes were hit by the bright white light.
"Ah shit, not THIS HOSPITAL" I cussed as I turned to my side to give myself a boost to stand up.
I recognized the room as soon as I opened my eyes. I've memorized every inch of this room because I've been here from time to time, and an old friend of mine (not Marithe) owns this hospital, and my dad is the supplier of every new technology you can find here.
I slowly stood up, trying hard to keep my balance. Of course, VIP room, just great, they brought me to this hospital, in a VIP room because I FAINTED, I'm sure Marithe panicked that's why I'm here.
I walked towards the other side of the room, I pressed the button and spoke after the beep of the line,
"Hey, is someone at the nurses station?" I patiently waited for a response before speaking again
"Yes, Miss Park, it's good to see you again, Dr. Go is on her way" the nurse on the line enthusiastically spoke
It's obvious how often I've been here, the nurses recognize my voice and they even know which doctor I prefer.
I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for a few minutes.
I heard the door knob unlock and a woman in a white long coat entered with a smile.
"Hey" Dr. Go greeted me with a warm smile
"Why do I have to be here?" I jokingly whined,
She chuckled, "I miss you too, Rhane but I don't like seeing you lying on a hospital bed" she scolded me
"So, am I sick?" I asked
"It was just overfatigue" she answered while checking my records on her clipboard
"How many months left?" I asked her straightforwardly, making her laugh so I just laughed along with her
"You were just tired" she said so I just nodded
"I know how you hate every corner of this hospital" she said in a lower tone
"Oh, I hate my friends for bringing me here" I informally said
"But if they didn't bring you here, you wouldn't come and see me" she complained in a "as-matter-of-factly" tone
"Rhane, your body is weak, maybe because of what happened in the past, so please take care of yourself, I know you're strong but your body isn't" she talked in a serious manner
"How long has it been?" she asked, she didn't specify anything but I already got what she means
"10 months" I shortly answered
"and how have you been?"
"fine, as long as I have my friends with me"
"Hmm, if you say so" she responded as she walked towards the door "I'll bring them in" and went outside
"HIIIIIIIII" Marithe greeted in a high and energetic tone
I frowned at her "I hate you for bringing me here"
"You passed out, what do you want me to do?" she sarcastically answered
"You could've just brought me to the clinic" I reasoned
"Do you want them to give you an ice pack because you passed out?" Jeongwoo butted in with his answer making me laugh a bit
"Where's Haruto by the way?" I remembered he was the last person I saw before I lost consciousness
"He's gone, he gave his life for you" Jeongwoo dramatically stated
"What the prick, Jeongwoo? You're scaring her" Marithe scolded Jeongwoo
"He insisted he'd buy you food" Marithe explained while I hit Jeongwoo's arm
Minutes passed by without us noticing it because we were having fun talking about their whole day, they told me about it since I was asleep for the rest of the day, I also explained to them that I didn't have enough sleep last night and that's probably the reason why I fainted.
While we were in the middle of our conversation, the door opened so all of us turned to look at it and anticipated who was going to enter.
Haruto came in with a plastic bag in his hands, he greeted me with a comforting smile and a relieved expression.
"Jeongwoo and I will leave you guys some time alone" Marithe awkwardly said and pushed Jeongwoo towards the door
They both went out, leaving the two of us in awkward silence
"I really panicked a while ago" he said while handing out the food that he bought, I opened the tight and plastic lid that sealed the bowl of hot steaming soup and muttered a little "thank you"
I fixed my own food and started eating slowly, while we have small talks, I noticed Haruto couldn't eat because he couldn't stop staring at me, which made me really conscious about how I look like at the moment
"I can't handle it if you stare at me like that" I told him and avoided his gaze
He looked down and tried to hold back the laughter that would erupt anytime but he successfully hid it.
"Marithe told me that you hated his hospital, why tho?" He asked out of the blue while starting to eat
"Let's just say, a loved one died in this same room" I responded, his eyes widened as he pulls his chair closer to my bed
"Please don't scare me like that" he cutely pleaded with his cheeks stuffed with food
"You look like a scared squirrel" I teased him
"A very handsome, scared squirrel" he added and charmingly smiled
"If you say so" I chuckled with a little huff
"Hey, I'm sorry I made you stay up all night" he guiltily apologized
"It's not your fault, I can't really sleep last night, but what about you, you hadn't gotten any sleep yet" I gave the question back to him
"I'm used to it; I was actually surprised that you passed out because it was just one night" I noticed he was getting more talkative so I tried to keep the conversation going
"My body is weak but I'm not like this when I was a kid, something just happened that really wore my body out" I think I might've overshared
Conversations flew over here and over there, laughter, jokes and occasional teasing, it really was just a few hours inside a hospital room, talking over paper food boxes and left-over food, but it was happier than going out to eat in 5-star restaurants.
It was after few more minutes of talking that I noticed that he was getting comfortable, lying down on the second mini-bed of the VIP room, he got so comfortable that he was getting a little drowsy and just hummed in response when I asked him or when I talked to him.
I let him drift into his dream land while I enjoyed the nice view of watching him sleep.
I never knew anyone could be this pretty while sleeping.
I studied him while he sleeps. His hair was a bit ruffled because of the pillow that his head sunk into. His long and slender legs were curled up, making him look like a tiny baby sleeping in peace. But what held my attention the longest was his eyelashes, it was long thick and dark. It looks like it would feel like touching cotton if you had the chance to touch his godly lashes.
"Did it hurt when you fell from the sky, because you look like an angel" I know it's a stupid cliché but he really looked like an angel.
My thoughts were brought back to reality when I sighted the door knob turn from my peripheral view.
It was Marithe, I placed my index finger on my lips, gesturing that he was asleep so she slowly closed the door so we wouldn't make any noise.
"I figured we needed to talk" she whispered to me so I nodded as yes,
"What's with the two of you?" she asked without hesitation
I already know what she meant but I decided to play dumb because I couldn't answer her question
"What do you mean?" I pretended
"Are you two dating or not" she went straight to the point
"I- uhm, he likes me... and I like him...?" I answered, unsure of what to say
"That doesn't answer my question" she strongly persisted
"We're taking it slow" I explained
"But at least give it a label or something, this guy likes you more than you know, he carried you from gymnasium to the parking lot so we could bring you here and he almost cried, seeing you lie down in that hospital bed, good thing crackhead-Jeongwoo was there" She bluntly lectured
"Labels make things complicated..." I paused
"If that's how you think then don't cry when Haruto sees a new girl and you cannot complain because you don't have any label to call your relationship" she said with her voice slightly raising
I just sighed in response "Label what you own, Rhane, someone might get this valuable possession of yours and you wouldn't be able to say anything because he wasn't labeled 'as your own' to begin with"
I was left silent with what she said because she was right at some point but I'm still waiting for Haruto to be the one to ask for it because he might think I'm rushing things with him.
It was getting late so we had no choice but to wake Haruto up because the gates of our dorm would close in a few hours, in the bright side, he can still continue his sleep inside the car.
We were all quiet while inside the car, Jeongwoo listening to music, Marithe on her phone, Haruto resting his sleepy head on my shoulder while I look outside the window, still thinking about what Marithe said earlier.
Would it be too early for a label?
But will I still wait until things are too late?
"What if he wants us to stay like this for the mean time?"
I sighed, communication is really the key, I can't decide on this alone.
As I was watching the scenery outside the window, a few meters away from us was the bus stop, it was brightly lit with a lot of ads which caught my attention. While I was watching it, I noticed a guy in all red outfit, just like how Doyoung used to wear it.
I squinted my eyes, we grew closer and closer to it, I got a clearer view on the guy on the bus stop.
It really is Doyoung.
I know my eyes were just deceiving me but, I'd take all the chances I could take just to see him again.
"Stop the car" I exclaimed, making my driver step on the breaks. The impact made us lean forward but that didn't bother me because I just had to see him even just for a while.
I recklessly opened the door, got out of the car and crossed the street, walking towards the bus stop, having Marithe calling out my name and rushing after me, they were all dumbfounded at my sudden decisions.
My heart pounded at every step that I take, with tears rolling down my eyes, seeing his face once again just made tears escape from my eyes but deep inside it was like I wasn't feeling anything.
There wasn't a very far distance between us when I stopped, I wanted to run and hug him but my legs won't move and my feet can't take another step. I looked at his face, he was all smiles while looking at me, I glued my eyes to him as if memorizing his face for one last time.
It was a busy sidewalk, people were bumping against my shoulders, complaining but I didn't think about all that, I don't care, I just had to see him again.
No words came out of my mouth, besides what's more left to say when there's nothing between us anymore so I kept staring at him, still keeping the distance.
A person walked and passed by the blank distance in between us, and then in a blink of an eye, he was gone again.
More tears fell from my eyes realizing, I lost him again for the second time.
"What were you doing, you could've been hit by a car, you just crossed the street without thinking" Marithe spoke in between breaths when she was finally able to catch up.
"I saw Doyoung" I said and looked at her with my tear-stained eyes
"R-Rhane, you know that's impossible, you're just tired, you need some rest" she said and guided me back to the car
I didn't say anything because I didn't want to fill my mind with thoughts because I might forget Doyoung's image that I tried to retain in my mind.
When I opened the door, I saw sleeping Haruto and sat back beside him, when I saw his angelic face again, guilt rushed through my veins.
I realized that I left this clueless sleepy little angel just because I saw someone from my past.
Plus, the fact that he doesn't know my past makes me even guiltier about it.
Maybe, it's time that I tell him.
Haruto needs to know, too.