Word Count: 1977
Little did I know, Enchan wrote something in my book.
(Y/N)
She will kill Schlatt in anger of him killing Tubbo, and rescue Quackity out of his situation, along with Niki.
I had no idea what was coming my way.
Enchan's P.O.V.
Knock knock knock
I rubbed my eyes, sitting up from my bed. "Ugh..." I groaned, "Why are they here so early?" I walked to the door, still sleepy as I opened it, seeing Bibi. "Hey Bi-"
"Let's go!" She dragged me by the arm.
"WHoA- Wait Bibi the fuck- where are we going?" I asked, trying to catch up.
"We're gonna speak to the mortal girl through her mind!"
"She has a name, y'know. It's (Y/N)."
"(Y/N), (N/N), (Y/U), whatever." She rolled her eyes.
"Yeah yeah whatever." I rolled my eyes back.
(Y/N)'s P.O.V.
My head hurts. So fucking bad.
That was the first thought I had. What a great start to the morning! I blinked twice to see Snowy still sat on the bedside table. I sat up, streching my arms over my head, and kicking off the blanket, getting out of bed. I ran my hand through my hair, smoothing it down. As I was going to turn to open the door, another person got to it before me. A man with pink, flowy hair draping over his shoulders, and a pig mask over his face. "'Morning, Techno..." I waved slightly.
"Uh... 'Morning. Tubbo wants to speak with you." He pointed a thumb out the door, nodding his head in the direction too.
"Um... okay." This combo of introverts is not good.
Yo you be mega awkward- Enchan you sure this the right one? A voice in my head called out to... Enchan? What the fuck- my head is broken today. How do I know that that was Evy?
"Are you okay?" Techno asked, waving a hand over my eyes..
"Y-yeah, I'm good, just a migraine." I gave a strained smile. "I should be fine."
"O-okay then, Tubbo's at the river." He nodded.
"Okay." I nodded back, scooting past the man.
She's an actual dumb ass. Xynn laughed in my head.
I swear she isn't usually like this. Enchan winced.
What the fuck is happening.
AYE GET HER TO GO BACK AND MURDER TECHNOBLADE! A chimed as I was climbing up the stairs.
NO! "NO!" The voices in my head and I screeched at once. I slapped a hand over my mouth.
"Ya- You good?" Techno asked, and I turned, dropping my hand from my mouth.
NO WE ALSO NEED HIM FOR THE PLAN! Pleb's voice overlapped with Techno's.
"I- I'm good~" I chuckled awkwardly, a small smile forming out of force.
"O- okay..." Techno raised an eyebrow, and I turned, the smile immediately dropping. "Can you guys just shut up." I mumble to myself, and what I confirmed to be the Prime Gods as soon as Enchan's voice came into the picture. They stayed quiet for long enough for me to walk out of the cave, and meet Tubbo at the edge of the river. "Tubs, what's up?" I asked, sitting beside him.
"You know how I have one life left?"
"Yeah?" I tilted my head. The voices weren't there anymore, strange.
"You're not wondering how I got... y'know, killed?"
Wait Enchan never said in the books. "I do! I do wonder! How did you die?"
"Um... Y'know, while killing you... and Tommy...." He said heasitantly.
"Yeah?" I asked softly.
"I might have killed Quackity and Schlatt too, and Schlatt was so angry that he- he took the crossbow away from my hands, and shot me with it."
Kill. Him. Kill Schlatt. Xynn's voice echoed in my head. No, no. I'm going fucking insane.
Hey, while you're at it, just give me his dead fucking body so I can give it to dad. A's voice also echoed.
WHAT THE FUCK A- All the voices in my head, including me chorused at once.
Well at lease we know the name system worked. Evy sighed, glad that there was something positive to come out of that.
"-ey, hey! (Y/N)?" Tubbo tapped me on the shoulders. "I'm sorry- Oh god did I break her?"
"No no-"
He means gods right? Red questioned.
Just- Red shush. I tried to calm the literal G O D S in my brain. "Tubbo it's fi-"
Is it really fine though? Xynn asked me, Wouldn't you just love to see Schlatt suffer as the others watch in horror, unable to help?
He was like a fucking devil on my shoulder. I thought about doing what he said, then I thought about it a little more. Guess it won't be too bad. Just kill Schlatt.
"(Y/N)?" Tubbo snapped me out of my thoughts with a confused call.
"Y-yeah?" I looked to him.
"Why are your eyes purple?"
"What?" I tilted my head in confused.
"Your eyes- w- whatever, it's fine."
Did you guys do that? I asked the literal gods.
Hey, you wanna go murder someone? You could hear the smirk in Xynn's voice.
Hey! Murder! Death! That's fun! A tagged along.
Come on (Y/N), let's talk about this! Enchan was the angel on the other shoulder.
Let's follow the devil this time. I smirked at the thought, standing up. "Tubbo, I'll be back." I smiled down to the boy.
"Wait- where are you going?"
"To get revenge." I smirked, summoning the newly made netherite sword that I made out of the resources that Techno gathered on his trip to the nether.
"Wait (Y/N) you have only two-"
"I'll be fine." I smiled softly again, taking off.
"(Y-Y/N)!" He called after me, but I was far gone.
How are we going to do this? We need a strat! Red asked the other gods, and me.
I can create a natural disaster! Elijah suggested.
"No! I'm just gonna... stab him up, y'know." I explained... to myself. The headache wasn't getting any better.
Aw that's no fun
C'mon (Y/N)~
Just murder him in a funner way The group of what felt like children chorused, except for Enchan and Evy, who both seemed very disappointed.
"I'm just going to go stab stab, y'know?" I shrugged.
Techno's P.O.V., before (Y/N) woke up
Come on~ Enchan tried to convince me. Think of all the possibilities! It's a good decision, I swear.
"I'm not going to teach her to murder people." I muttered, trying not to wake anyone up. "It's bad enough that I know how to kill, we don't need another killer here." I narrowed my eyes at Enchan, even though I can't see her.
Hey, death amirite? A chimed.
A- Anyways, it's your choice, dude. She sighed, Tubbo's coming in in a few seconds, Imma go. Let's go A, we need to meet the other gods.
"Uh... okay?"
Okay~ bye~ The two said their goodbyes.
Did they leave? They left. Those two bitches wants me to train (Y/N). She's sixteen for gods' sakes! She is way too young to know how to kill!
"Techno!" Tubbo's voice snapped me from my thoughts, "Can you call (Y/N) up to the river?"
"Y- yeah, okay." I hate human interactions so fucking much. I wish I never had to talk to anyone. I sighed as Tubbo walked back out of the cave, and I looked to (Y/N)'s room door. Well, no reason to wait.
(Y/N)'s P.O.V.
I arrived at the white house to see Quackity and Schlatt arguing.
"He is sixteen, Schlatt. So is Tommy and (Y/N)!" Quackity knotted his eyebrows together.
"And they're weak little children." I heard the other man say. I narrowed my eyes in anger.
"ohmygod okay- so-" Quackity panicked, not knowing what to say.
"First order of business, fill up those hideous TNT holes." Schlatt groaned in annoyance, and I hid behind a hill, still within earshot of their conversation.
"Uh... yeah. Yeah okay."
"Second order of business, we need to take down this god awful white house." Schlatt continued.
"Wait Schlatt- No! Not the white house!"
"What, you want to be against me?"
"No- no! I'm just saying, take the- what did she call it..."
I hope it's not the Pokimane thing Rin hoped.
"Please don't say that, whatever you've said, it had come true." I muttered to her, looking over the hill to the two men.
"Oh! The Pokimane statue!"
God damn it. The gods and I groaned at once.
"No! It's beautiful, why would I ever cut that masterpiece down?!"
Phew. We sighed together again.
"I- okay." Quackity looked around. "Party island?"
"No! That place is magnificant!"
"Okay... Uh- nasa building? Tommy and Wilbur basically distressed it already"
"Just cut down the white house, Quackity, the white house is coming down!"
"Wait- no no no-" Quackity panicked.
"I don't even have a fucking pickaxe! Don't make me make a fucking stone pickaxe."
"No- You literally probably have a health condition-" Quackity shook his head, "no- no no no! We're not taking the White House down, we're not taking it down!"
"Don't be a little bitch." Schlatt glared, before doing squats on the spot.
What the fuck-
Enchan did you do this?
What is he doing
We don't even have to kill him, let him have a heart attack.
After Rin said that last line, all the gods stood quiet.
Rin, you're the fucking god of predictions/foresight what the fuck- don't say that- Enchan glared.
"Gods, gods, calm the fuck down."
"GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!"
"OKAY OKAY!" Schlatt stopped. "I have to make a fucking pickaxe now, I gotta tear this place down."
That's your cue! Go go go! It felt like as if Xynn pushed me by the shoulders when he said that, and I tumbled forward, and caught the two men's attention.
"(Y/N)? Is that you?" Schlatt squinted at me.
"Schlatt- how much did you drink?" I winced. "Quackity. I told you not to let him drin-"
"I know I know! I just can't stop him!"
"Oh come on." I rolled my eyes.
"Are you eyes- purple?" Schlatt became even more confused.
Hey, burn down the white house! How 'bout that? Elijah suggested.
"No, we're just here to kill Schlatt." I muttered to myself, summoning the netherite sword back into my hands, since I put it away. (Evy - DON'T RUN WITH THE SWORD, YOU'RE GONNA FALL AND KILL YOURSELF!)
"Kill- what?" Quackity tilted his head.
Niki should be here in three... Enchan muttered.
"Kill Schlatt." I repeated simply, twirling/spinning the sword in my hand as if it was a lightsaber or some shit.
Two...
"Step away Quackity, he is my only goal, I don't want to hurt you."
One.
"Schlatt I can't pay anymore god damned taxes!" Niki shouted from across from us.
Now! Go! A suggested. Go stab him or some shit
I took her advice and took my shot- uh- stab.
"Niki you need to-" I stabbed him from the back as he turned to talk to Niki, and immediately took my sword out, so the man could just bleed out. I watched blankly as the man disappeared, and probably respwaned wherever. Quackity was looked between me, then to where Schlatt died, then to Niki, who had her hands over her mouth in shock.
"We need to go."
"Who's we?" Quackity argued, "you just straight up murdered-"
"I JFKed him, I know." I deadpanned.
"Who the fuck is JFK-" Niki gasped, finally she spoke. "But good job kid- holy shit what just happened."
"I killed the president. Now Niki, Quackity. Are you two coming with me, or no?"
The two looked to each other, before looking to me.
"That man needs to find himself a new VP."
"And a new taxpayer."
"Pog, let's go." I smirked.
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Woo! Quackity and Niki, amirite?
And the Prime Gods AU starts!
And welcome my basically co-writers, Elijah, Bibi, Pleb, Red, Evy, and Rin!
A is there too, just... she's just parenting us.