Light, dark, light, dark, light, dark again...
Marian's unconscious minds swirled round and round and round, images flying here and there, memories mingled with fantasy and she was dragged into a world of delirium...
Light again...
A young Marian watched on as Margaret of Anjou knelt weeping in a pool of blood that flowed like a river around her, splashing onto her face...the woman looked up at her daughter and the little girl realised that her mother too was young again...had the bloom of youth once more, dark hair flowing down her back without one streak of grey...
Marian tossed to the side, letting out a small whimper.
"Ma mére..." the child breathed, reaching out a small hand and stumbling towards her mother and the pool of blood, collapsing beside her as Margaret brought her hands up to her face.
"Mon fils, mon doux fils doux. Mon Henry, mon doux Seigneur" - My son, my sweet sweet son, my Henry, my sweet Lord - she was whispering in her native French repeating the words over and over as she clutched the sides of her head until the sentence finally changed and her hands dropped away from her face, revealing a now ageing woman...the woman in the tower "Mon Marian, mon doux traître... ma fille, notre ruine" - My Marian, my sweet traitor...my daughter, our ruin.
Marian tossed again, body shaking.
Suddenly, Marian and Margaret were back in the tower...Marian had aged just as Margaret had done; was now a young woman.
"No, ma mére!" She cried as Margaret held her dagger to her neck...it was happening...it was happening again...but it was different...
"We would have won Barnet, we would have won the war if you had not turned against us! If it weren't for your treason you would still be a Princess; your brother and father would still be alive..." the old Queen screeched as she had done on that May afternoon.
"You blame me for their deaths?!" Marian heard herself yell back.
"Of course I do! For it is your fault!" The door to the cell banged open and Marian turned her head, expecting to see Richard, hoping he had come to save her as he had done before but it was not Richard standing in the doorway...It was Warwick and George, Duke of Clarence. Margaret suddenly changed again...she was still pressing a knife to Marian's throat but no longer looked like a worn prisoner. She looked like a Queen once more, dressed in robes of crimson with a heavy ruby pendant adorning her neck and a glint in her eye which spoke of triumph and prosperity "Now you shall pay for your crimes, ma chérie...Tu es mort pour moi" - you are dead to me - Margaret hissed in her daughter's ear before throwing her to Warwick and George who grabbed her roughly and began to drag her down the halls of the tower.
Despite her struggling, the two men had dragged Marian out onto the green with next to no effort and then dragged her up the steps of the scaffold that had appeared, flinging her down onto the hard wood. She gasped for air, trying to raise herself up again but found her body did not have the strength. A pair of hands suddenly gripped her hair, yanking and pulling her head up. .
She let out a cry of pain and saw that her Mother, Father and brother were standing on a scaffold opposite hers but their scaffold was different. It was lavishly decorated with the red roses of Lancaster and held three golden thrones. Henry, Margaret and Edward all had crowns upon their heads and were smiling wickedly at their kinswoman who was kneeling a few yards away from them.
"Ah, my dear daughter!" Henry said, clear as day and Marian's face immediately held an expression of agonised shock...her father didn't sound mad... "I see you have finally decided to join us?" He continued, a malicious smile playing about his lips where the kind, childlike one used to be.
"Show her father, show her!" Edward suddenly cried out triumphantly and Henry turned to his son, patting him affectionately on the shoulder.
"Of course, my boy" the King said indulgently and gestured to the man who had a grip on Marian's hair. She had realised by now that it was George.
"It seems" Henry said as George pulled Marian to her feet "that you had an affection for the bastard Yorks! So much so that you betrayed us at Barnet! Very nearly thwarted your mother's hard worked plans to secure my rightful place on the throne! And so, I thought you might like to see the cousins you love so much once more!"
Clarence spun Marian around so she had a clear view of the Tower walls and what she saw there shocked her into silence again before a blood curdling scream tore itself from her throat.
"We thought you would like them, dear sister" Edward mocked as he gestured to the heads, impaled on spikes upon the tower walls "a most lovely decoration they make, do you not think?"
Marian screamed again only to find George's hand clamp over her mouth as it had done during their first encounter and there was silence, for Ed had no need to continue or to point out who the heads belonged to...she could tell just by glancing at them...
King Edward's head was there, Elizabeth's next to it and after that...their children, blood oozing down the wooden stakes and then...then there was Richard's...eyelids still open revealing the dark blue eyes...dried blood caking his hair and face.
"No!" Marian screamed as George took his hand away from her mouth and spun her back round. She tried to look back to the gatehouse but the Duke's grip was too strong and he forced her to face the front.
"Ha!" Margaret laughed "I wouldn't be so hasty to turn back to them, chérie, after all, you will be joining them soon!"
It was at this point that a block appeared in front of Marian and she was forced to her knees but before her neck was pushed onto the wood, Edward began to speak again.
"Your head is to be placed next to the usurper's youngest brother, you know!" He said "quite fitting isn't it, dear sister? After all, you were rumoured to be his little whore while at court! Ha! I would wager it's more than just rumour! I'd say that he fucked you into the early hours of the morning many many times"
"You bastard!" Marian screamed at her brother "you bastard!"
"Your words are no use now, dear sister! They cannot and will not help you, nothing and no one can!" He paused briefly and the mocking facade dropped for a moment to show anger but also genuine grief as he looked down at her and said quietly, "I hope it was all worth it..."
And with that, Marian felt her neck hit the wood, felt the cold metal of the axe touch her neck as the executioner took aim, heard the man lift the blade into their air with a grunt and then...
༒༒༒
The Queen jolted up in the bed, letting out a yell as tears poured down her face.
"Ma mére!" She cried and then felt a pair of arms around her, helping her settle back against the pillows.
"Hush now, Aunt" Edward's voice said, though it was deeper than she recalled "all is well, your husband has been sent for and he will take you back to Westminster" the 13 year old drew away but quickly found himself pulled back towards his aunt again as she clutched him to her chest.
"I'm sorry, Edward" she sobbed, body trembling "I'm so so sorry...for everything! For everything, Edward! For executing your uncle and Richard Grey, for taking the throne, for not trying harder to bring your mother and sisters from sanctuary...I'm sorry, Edward...I'm sorry..."
"All is forgiven...it's not your fault" Edward said gently, pulling back again and taking her hands "all is well"
"W-W-where is your brother?" Marian asked, looking around the room "I saw him earlier...is he safe? Are you safe? Are you well?" The flurry of questions all came within about five seconds at it was plain at first that the 13 year old didn't know what to say. He was quick to reclaim his words however (as his father always was) and nodded reassuringly.
"Yes...yes, Aunt, we are both well. Richard has gone to get you some wine, we thought it might make you feel better"
Marian sat up a little.
"That was very thoughtful of you, Edward...thank you" the door burst open and Edward's brother stood in the doorway.
"Marian!" He cried darting into the room and clambering up onto the bed, goblet in hand, the red liquid almost sloshing over the sides due to his quick movements "are you well again? You fainted and then you started shaking and then murmuring and then shouting and then you screamed and we didn't know what was happening so we alerted the guards and they told us that they would send a messenger to Westminster and asked if we wanted the other guards to move you but we said that we wanted to take care of you because we do! We've missed you, Marian! I've missed you! Where have you been? Has something happened?"
"Richard" Edward chided gently "give our Aunt a chance to breathe"
"You missed me?" She said quietly, looking between the boys "really?"
"Of course!" Edward answered
"B-but...in June...the executions..."
"They were not your fault...Uncle Richard murdered Uncle Anthony and Dickie...you are not to blame" the King's young namesake said, eyes and expression darkening as he spoke of him.
"I could tell from the look on your face that you were not expecting the executions, were you?" Edward asked and after hesitating, Marian shook her head.
"No" she almost whispered "I only found out a few minutes before it happened..."
"I thought so...why didn't you visit us after?"
"Truth be told I thought you and your brother hated me"
"Never!" Richard protested, raising the goblet to her lips, forcing her to take a sip before lowering it again "I could never hate you! You are my friend! Edward's too!"
"Aye" Edward said "tis not you that we hate, Aunt...tis your husband"
"Richard?" Marian gasped "you hate Richard?"
Both boys nodded.
"How could we not?" Edward asked "he murdered our uncle and our half brother...I know he did not like them but they were honourable men! They didn't deserve to die..."
"You don't hate him for taking the throne?"
Edward and Richard shook their heads
"No" the latter said, looking to his brother "I think we came to terms with that long ago...no, we hate him for murdering our kin...and for locking us in here...it was fine until we were confined to only our rooms and the green...now we are true prisoners"
Marian was about to speak again but before she could, the door burst open for a second time and the King was revealed to be standing in the doorway, face full of anguish and then sudden relief when he saw Marian was alive.
"Mari!" He cried, rushing to her side.
At once, Edward and his brother fled from the bed, backing away to the far corner of the room, the younger taking the older's hand. Marian looked at them and saw they were glaring daggers at her husband but he appeared not to notice; focused on sweeping the Queen into his arms. "Oh my darling" he whispered to her frantically "I thought I had lost you...I thought I had lost you...please, Mari...for my sake...I beg of you...never scare me like that again."
"Be calm, mon coeur" the Queen replied softly "I am well again...now you should greet your nephews..." she felt Richard nod and he raised his head to look at the two boys who had edged further into the room from their corner, finally realising that he meant them no harm (at that moment at least) and bowed to the King.
He nodded and smiled at them but they did not smile back, instead excused themselves from the room and went into the adjoining chamber to:
"Play a game of chess" Edward had quickly said before grabbing Marian's old set and rushing from the bedchamber, dragging his brother behind him. Richard turned back to his wife, taking her in his arms again and lifting her from the bed, her arms automatically clasping around his neck.
"Now, sweet. Let us take you back to the palace and give you a nice goblet of hot, spiced wine" The King said, making his way to the door and Marian nodded at first but then sprang from his arms and rushed in the direction of the adjoining chamber where the boys were.
"I must say goodbye to them!" She called over her shoulder and into the room she went, shutting the door behind her.
Edward and Richard immediately leapt to their feet.
"You're not leaving, are you?" The latter asked anxiously.
"I'm afraid I must, my dear" Marian replied and Edward then stepped forward
"Good God" Marian thought "He's taller than me!"
"Will you come again tomorrow?" The boy asked "perhaps I can try and beat you in a game?" He gestured to the chess board and Marian smiled at him.
"That is something I would love dearly, though I must warn you, I am no easy opponent!" She laughed and so did Edward who suddenly hugged her tightly, quickly joined by his brother.
The Queen returned their embraced and kissed their heads before they drew back and grinned at her.
"If you do come tomorrow, will you bring Eddie?" Richard asked rather shyly, peering up at his Aunt through his sandy lashes. Marian was quick to nod, reaching out and gently ruffling his hair just as she did to her own sons.
"If that is what you wish, then of course I shall bring him! He has been asking to see you too, he misses you" Richard grinned again and embraced Marian one last time before scampering off to peer out of the window at the guards waiting below.
Edward looked to his brother then back to his Aunt and swept a graceful bow.
"Goodbye, fair Marian" he said, grinning, before hugging her as his brother had just done,
"Goodbye, Edward" the Queen replied, smiling softly at him as she watched him walk over to Richard and join him in watching the goings on of the tower green. He really did look like his father.
Staring affectionately at the two boys for a little longer, Marian finally took her leave and headed back into the bedchamber where Richard was waiting for her.
"You are ready to leave?" He asked. She nodded and moved forward but just as she was about to take his hand, she stopped.
"Richard?"
"Yes?"
"I was wondering..." she started "wondering if..."
"If what?" Richard asked, sounding a little amused
"If we can move the boys out of the Tower"
At once the amusement in Richard's voice went.
"No" he stated plainly but Marian persisted, catching his arm as he turned to walk out.
"Move them to the North!" She suggested quickly "move them to Middleham! They will be safe there!" Richard shook his head but the Queen continued "they have told me themselves that they have accepted they shall never wear the crown...they do not want it, Richard!"
"Maybe not now." Richard replied "but when they are men..."
"When they are men they will be loyal to us! Send them to Middleham, my love, send them there to be trained as knights with the other boys! Let them live peacefully in the North and give them Earldoms. Give them the Earldoms of March and Rutland and the lands that go along with those titles. They feel so trapped here, Richard! The North is loyal to us and has been for many years! The people love us! The people love you! The boys will be well taken care of and none of their enemies will be able to get to them! They will be happy!"
Richard sighed then gave a curt nod.
"I will think about it" he said then smiled, holding out his hand "now, come along, we must get you back to Westminster in case you take ill again" she nodded and slipped her hand into his, letting him lead her from the chamber as a whoop of overjoyed laughter filtered through from the other chamber. Someone had won the game. Either that or the suggestion of moving them to the North had been overheard despite the thick walls and heavy oak door.
Beside the green where the men were waiting, Richard lifted Marian onto his horse, declaring that it wasn't safe for her to ride alone in case she fainted again and pressed her back firmly against his chest as they rode through the streets, the people that saw them waving as they trotted by, pleased to see their King and Queen together.
Once back at Westminster Marian was met with a hoard of worried children, some with tears slipping down their cheeks, as they had heard that their mother was ill and were anxious to see that she still lived,
"Mama! Mama! Are you alright? Please say you're alright?" They all cried at once.
"Your mother is fine" Richard assured them as Marian took to hugging all of their children to comfort them, wiping away the tears with a smile and a kiss "now, we must get her to her chambers. All of you go to the nursery"
The children were quick to obey their father, saying goodnight to their parents before running back up the steps, the older ones casting backward glances over their shoulders to make sure that their mother was still standing.
When the King and Queen reached their chambers, Richard dismissed the servants that were milling around so they were alone and quickly put Marian in her nightgown, tucking her beneath the covers.
"There is no need for this!" She protested but it was a protest glazed over with affection and she soon happily submitted to Richard's care (which she rather enjoyed).
He rushed around the room, only leaving once to fetch her a goblet of hot spiced wine as promised and then gathering her into his arms when he at last joined Marian in bed.
The Queen smiled up at him, putting a soft hand to his cheek. Her Richard was back, his show of affection confirmed it and Marian was determined to make sure that he never slipped out of her grasp again, though she new there would be difficult times ahead that may threaten to drive them apart as the rebellion had done.
"I love you" she whispered and Richard kissed her gently.
"And I you" he replied, pulling the heavy covers up around them and hugging Marian close to his chest until she fell into a peaceful sleep.
༒༒༒
The King and Queen woke to a loud hammering on their door and it took a moment to realise that someone was knocking. The noise was unrelenting, got louder and louder with each second that it went unanswered.
"What on earth could that be?" Richard muttered, pulling on a robe and striding over to the door "what can they mean by waking us at this hour?"
Marian looked over to the window (which they had forgotten to shut) and saw with surprise that the sun was only just rising.
Before Richard could reach the door, the person on the other side had obviously lost all their patience, and it crashed open, almost knocking out the King. It was Rob. Rob and Francis, standing at the threshold with ashen faces, filled to the brim with fear and worry.
Marian immediately rose from the bed, pulling a robe over her nightgown and rushing to the door, gesturing for her friends to come inside, and shutting it with a bang.
"What is it?" She asked, anxious for there was clearly something wrong "what is it? Are the children alright? Have they been hurt?"
Rob shook his head.
"No, Marian" he said quickly "the children are fine...it's...it's..."
"It's your nephews!" Francis blurted out and the Queen froze, locking eyes with her husband who had also suddenly become alert.
"What...what about them, Francis?" Marian said, slowly, looking back to him and praying in her head with all her might that they were well.
"Th-th-they're...theyre"
"They're what?!" She shouted
"They're gone!" Rob said, voice also raised before he dropped down onto a chest and buried his head in his hands "they're gone..."
"What do you mean 'they're gone'?" Richard asked, standing in front of Rob and glaring down at him "answer me, damn you!" He then thundered when he received no reply.
"We don't know what happened!" Francis shouted from behind him and Richard swung round "the guards went to check on them this morning and they were gone! Just gone!"
"That's impossible!" Marian cried, swaying a little as her head spun, leaning against the bedpost for support "children don't just disappear! Especially royal ones! Edward and Richard are guarded day and night! Someone must have lied to you! Who told you?" She demanded
"Stanley did"
The Queen let out a maddened laugh, tossing her head back.
"Then it cannot be true!" She cried, half in tears "if he is the man to have told you then it cannot be true..." she then abruptly pushed herself from the bed post, walking to the chest Rob was sitting on and pushing him off it. She threw open the lid and pulled out the first gown she saw, discarding her robe and dragging the garment over her head, not bothering to put on a chemise or kirtle then slipping on her shoes. She knew she did not look like a Queen in that moment, but did it really matter?
No. What she looked like, even if she was the Queen of England - good God she could be the Queen of the world and her appearance still would not matter. The only thing that mattered in those moments were her nephews and Marian was determined to prove what her friends had been told to be a falsehood.
She turned back around after grabbing a random cloak and saw that all three men were staring at her in complete bewilderment.
"What?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips
"Well...that...that was..." Rob began, rising from the floor
"Sudden?" Francis offered and his friend nodded.
"Yes" Richard said, agreeing with the other two "W-what exactly are you doing?"
"I'm going to see our nephews" Marian stated and made her way to the door but her husband caught her arm.
"Mari" he said gently "I really don't think..."
"I'm going!" She said, jerking her arm from the King's grasp, snatching up her dagger and striding quickly from the room, breaking into what came close to a run as she rushed down the halls of the palace, the tears threatening to spill down her face.
As she rushed by she could tell all the nobles were staring at her but she did not care.
'Let them stare!' She thought fiercely 'then at least someone shall find some amusement on this day'
As she rushed down the courtyard steps, she realised that it was snowing extremely heavily. How long had it been snowing like this? Perhaps the roads were blocked and it wouldn't be safe to ride? Was Marian going to let that stop her? Not in a million years!
So, she ran to the stables and saddled a horse, feeling the sudden urge to laugh a little as she saw the shocked look on the stable boy's face as he saw the Queen mounting a horse and kicking off from the stables at lightning speed; stood gawping after her.
"Open the gates!" The Queen shouted. A guard looked down and suddenly flushed
"But, your grace...it's not safe!"
"Open the gates damn you! Or face the wrath of your Queen!"
"Y-yes your grace"
The gates opened and Marian was about to kick her horse into a gallop again but someone shouted from behind her.
"Marian! Wait!" It was Richard and the Queen momentarily glanced over her shoulder to see him racing down the steps (now dressed but rather hastily so) with Rob and Francis.
"I can't!" She shouted back and her horse sprung through the gates.
As she made her way through the streets of London, the icy air and snowflakes slapped her face repeatedly. Her eyes stung, her hands were going numb and her hair was whipping around her head like an unruly halo but she did not care. She had to get to the tower. She had to see her nephews.
Upon her arrival at the tower, it was crawling with guards, they were shouting anxiously to each other, their cries becoming even more desperate as they saw the Queen approach and dismount. Marina payed no attention to them, made her way to her nephews rooms, pushing past the guards that were in her path before they even had a chance to move. The door to the chambers was locked and the Queen stared up at the guard who standing by it.
"Leave me" she ordered. He didn't move "I said, leave me!" He jumped at her tone and hurriedly unlocked the door before rushing down the corridor to the stairs.
Marian rushed into the room and saw that the bed was neatly made, the curtains drawn...everything seemed to be in order.
"Edward?!" She cried into the room before running to the adjoining chamber the boys had been playing chess in the night before "Richard?!"
They were not there.
She dashed back to the bedchamber, went to the bed and was about to throw the covers back but just as her hands reached for the material something caught her eye. A perfect white rose. It had been placed on top of one of the pillows and with a trembling hand she reached out and took it. As she clenched her fist around the stem, the Queen could feel the thorns stabbing into her flesh...but there was no pain, only discomfort and slight surprise when she saw her blood slowly making its way down the rose.
Marian stumbled away from the bed into the middle of the room, keeping her eyes on the white rose until at last her trembling legs gave way and she sunk to the floor.
"Mari..." Marian raised her head to see Richard in the doorway, eyes wide with worry, mingled with despair.
The Queen looked away, her gaze going back to the rose and then to the bed.
"They're gone..." she said flatly as if she still didn't fully believe what had occurred...truth be told, she didn't "they've just vanished...but they can't have done...it's impossible..."
"Nothing is impossible" a small, quivering voice said and Marian looked up to see Edmund standing behind his father, face red and streaked with tears; hand clutching his dagger.