Loki brought home a creature in which, to his belief, was a puppy. To everybody else's belief, the creature wasn't a puppy. And really, Loki didn't think the 'puppy' was going to cause so much a trouble. No one agreed with him.
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Trigger warning for violence. I didn't intend for it to get dark, but some of the content could be triggering to some.
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At first he didn't tell anybody, even Thor, about what he brought home with him from their trip to Alfheim. The animal was small, like those baby dogs from Midgard. So he doubted it was a big deal -- there was no need for Thor or anyone to know. He could take care of it on his own.
Loki found it by accident on his way back to their ship. Walking alone -- because Thor and the rest of the Avengers had already finished their duties and was waiting on said ship -- through Alfheim forest, he heard an animal's yowling. He paid it no mind at first, but the yowling got louder and he could tell the thing was in pain. He wasn't much of an animal lover, he only had two pets growing up on Asgard, and he'd been on hunting trips with Thor and Thor's friends often enough (even if he wasn't particularly a fan of the sport, Thor usually managed to drag him along most of the times) Natural selection, Loki thought. He wasn't here for a rescue mission. They weren't here for a rescue mission.
Why they were here, was because Alfheim had resources for Tony's research. And Tony couldn't travel across planets on his own, or if he could, he'd never been on Alfheim before; there were hunters, dangerous species only the Odinsons had experience with, thus Thor offered to help, thus Thor and Tony dragged Loki and the rest of the team with them. Which was, in Loki's opinion, kind of ridiculous and unnecessary, the fact so many people tagged along. They were mortals, after all, even with the Avengers title -- they were all tiny little mortals who couldn't resist the opportunity to travel across planets.
Loki lifted the hood of his cloak over his head, attempting to quicken his pace so he got to the ship as fast as possible. It was getting dark and Loki knew hunters mostly preyed at nighttime. The yowling somehow stopped him in his tracks. He had no time for searching, but it looked like he wouldn't even have to, because the noise came from somewhere near, probably only a couple feet away.
Loki looked to the right and there it was; a shadowy figure twisting in a bush. He hadn't gotten a good look at it, but it was the size of a cat and it kept yowling. Walk away, he told himself he should just walk away. It wouldn't survive, anyway. The thing was clearly injured, perhaps stuck, couldn't move, and with it keeping crying like this, it'd attract predators soon enough. Then it'd be out of its misery.
"I'm sorry," Loki said, like it could understand him. He turned his back toward it and started walking away.
Abandoned, suffering, left to die.
Loki stopped after three steps away from the creature. Do you think you also cried like that when Odin found you there, on Jotunheim? When Laufey left you exposed to the cold out there like that to die.
It could have been you.
You were it.
He turned back around.
~~~
They all made it home alive and well, and with another new member -- a tiny crew mate -- hiding away in Loki's cape. The magic -- the seidr his mother had taught him -- helped shield the creature from anybody's sight and silenced its continuous yowling from anyone's ears.
Loki, despite Thor's invitation for him to join the team in celebration for a mission gone well, went straight to his room. He hoped Thor or anybody didn't see his parting for the evening as a red flag as to what he was up to. No, they wouldn't. Loki had never been the one to socialise, so this was, in its own right, not unusual.
He placed the creature, still thoroughly cocooned in his cape, on his desk. The thing was a size of a small cat, a kitten, only that its skin was dark grey and slimy. He only just had a chance to take a good, actual look at what he'd brought home and, it turned out, the creature was definitely not a cat, even though it also stood on four legs with its tail slightly wagging from side to side. A hairless puppy from the other planet, perhaps. If puppies had eight eyes like a spider, slimy skin like a frog and tentacles hanging from its mouth like a cuttlefish.
There are various breeds of dogs, you couldn't possible have known every single one of them. Maybe this is just a puppy, a rare one, but a puppy still.
Loki could definitely take care of a puppy on his own, without anyone having to know.
He began looking for injuries, it seemed the 'puppy's' hind leg was broken, judged by the way it favoured the limb, like it was chased by a much-bigger predator and, in the process, got its bone broken while running for its life. "You're a trouble maker, aren't you?" Loki picked it up, making sure he didn't cause any more harm to it while doing so. The puppy -- clearly wasn't a fan of being lifted -- protested, squirming this way and that. "You've got a fight in you, too. I like that," he smirked. At least it looked like the only injury the creature got was its leg, Loki could fix that.
He placed it back down on the desk. Loki knew enough of the healing spell -- a gift his mother gave -- that he could, without a problem, mend and realign the fractured bone within a minute. He moved his fingers, green light illuminated the palm of his hand and when he touched the creature's injury -- only a light, harmless touch -- the creature gave another yowling in protest, but that was it. When he retracted the hand only half a minute later he was satisfied to see his new friend no longer favoured the leg. He remembered having tended to Thor the same kind of injury when Thor had been hurt after a hunting trip and didn't want to risk their father knowing by going to the healing chamber. Thor had owed him, and he supposed his new friend, too, now owed him.
Loki lowered his gaze to take a closer, better look at the creature -- the puppy. It no longer looked in pain, and was now looking around with a hint of curiosity, like any normal child should be. Loki smiled. "I think I'm gonna call you Thunder,"
~~~
The first time Loki gained any form of trust at all from Thunder was a day after he'd taken the creature home. It -- Thunder -- had been living in the corner of Loki's room, hissing and shrieking savagely like a wild animal every time Loki got too close. He broke that barrier with a jar of peanut butter, in which he stole from the kitchen.
Loki held out a spoonful of the dry-roasted peanuts, waving it in the air to gain Thunder's attention. He didn't have to wait for too long. The creature soon stopped its growling, growing more and more curious as its four pairs of eyes followed the spoon in Loki's hand from side to side. "You want it, don't you?" He teased. "It's ridiculously delicious! One of my brother's favourites,"
Thunder slowly crawled on its four legs. Three steps out of the shadow then it darted back at the corner again, eyes still on the treat.
"Come on," Loki encouraged. "I'm not gonna hurt ya,"
It made a noise in its throat that sounded like a whimper, its head slightly tilted to the side.
"You're going to have the peanut butter, but you'll have to come out and get it. Deal?"
Loki waited for about another half a minute before his pet started slowly crawling out of the corner again, its eyes darting this way and that, like it wanted to make sure nothing was going to suddenly jump out of the shadow and attack. "You're safe." Loki said, reassured. "Nothing's gonna hurt ya,"
And then it was crawling up on his bed, to where he sat, its tentacles reaching out to examine the food. Loki let it. He'd expected a little kitten lick on the spoon, he was, in his own right, a little taken aback when another long limb that looked almost identical to those tentacles -- though turned out to be a tongue -- slithered its way out of the creature's mouth and, after it got a taste of the peanut butter (and it seemed it had decided that it liked it) the creature opened its mouth; sharp, long teeth like a lion's teeth on full display. Then, in the blink of an eye, the tongue was wrapping tightly around the spoon, yanking it off of Loki's hand in a strength Loki wouldn't have expected from something so small. The entire spoon disappeared into Thunder's mouth in a flash, leaving Loki stunned. It all happened... so fast.
Loki blinked, then, looked at his hand like parts of him wanted to make sure it was still there and not being swallowed by his so-called pet. "Well..." Loki trailed off, "I guess that mean we're friends now,"
~~~
He'd been keeping Thunder a secret from his brother and the Avengers just fine for the past three days, by keeping it locked in his room. He'd spent hours reading in Stark's library trying to figure out what exact kind of 'puppy' Thunder was. He'd read about four books about dog breeds so far, none of them looked like Thunder.
He, in the end, gave up after the fifth book and ruled that Thunder was simply that rare that there was no record of its kind available in Midgardian book.
Loki went back to his room to where the new friend of his awaited. There was a bowl of water and another bowl of dog food that Loki sneaked from a nearby pet store. Thunder seemed to like it so far, or so it was empty every so often. The creature made a sound in its throat at Loki's return, like a greeting. Or a reminder that it needed a refill, for its bowl was emptied again.
"You're getting bigger?" Loki said, pouring the creature its food. He could be imagining it, but he thought his new friend grew a little taller, a little bigger during his absence, which was.... only half a day. Is a puppy supposed to grow this fast?
He straightened his back and watched as Thunder devoured its food in eager gulps. "You are really getting bigger,"
~~~
The creature was, indeed, getting bigger. In a matter of days the dog food was no longer enough to serve its needs, which led to Loki having to find something else for his pet, who was now a size of a pony. Of all the food Loki had tried, he learned Thunder only fed on raw flesh. And really, he wasn't that knowledgeable when it came to the topic of Midgardian dogs, he did, however, know enough that some of them had predator's blood running within, those raw materials that wouldn't completely die down even with centuries of its species being turned into human's pets for entertainment.
He bought raw meat from nearby supermarket, making sure to slip in and out of the Avengers compound to make the purchase only when he was certain no one saw him. Because they would ask questions, and Loki wasn't feeling like coming up with lies to answer. After all, no one knew about Thunder.
He'd been keeping his room warded, the silencing spell that guaranteed no one heard the howling coming from his room at night helped him sleep, for he knew his secret would stay his secret. Thunder slept on its own makeshift bed made from the pile of Loki's old clothes placing over the ground, keeping its skin from the hard floor.
And if the howling made it hard for him to sleep, Loki simply used the magic on himself, making himself temporarily deaf to all sounds. Problem solved. Loki thought he made a pretty decent dog owner, or, being an owner of a dog wasn't as hard as he'd thought, after all.
__________
He learned he might have jumped to conclusion too quickly when he woke the next morning and Thunder was nowhere to be found. The door to his right broken off its hinge, the pieces of broken wood scattered around like it was hit by something violent.
Oh dear, Loki thought. His face turned a couple shades paler.
__________
His only option was to find it before anyone else would. It was still early in the morning, which meant he still had time before the team woke up and realise there was an alien puppy running loose in their home. Damnit, he cursed himself. He should have... known a normal door wasn't going to hold Thunder. He searched through each unoccupied room, hoping the little pain in the ass didn't somehow make its way inside somebody's room. Loki didn't want to imagine Agent Romanoff waking up to his little pet in her bed, or Stark finding an unexpected guest in his lab, or his brother bumping into it on his way to the dinning room.
"Thunder?" He called, still at the same time kept his voice a low whisper. "Where are you? Thunder? Thunder?"
There was no sign of the runaway creature. Loki checked under the table, in the cabinet, everywhere in the compound and it looked like the thing was simply gone, vanished into thin air. He was starting to grow anxious, picturing the worst cast scenario that could happen, could be happening, in his head.
He heard something -- a noise -- coming from outside the compound. Loki rushed there without a thought. The commotion led him to an alleyway not too far away.
What stopped him dead in his tracks was the trail of blood on the floor, it led deeper into the alleyway, like something had dragged a corpse along the ground, leaving only a trail of red liquid as an evidence of its occurrence. Loki gulped. The noise was clearly coming from behind the dumpster. Whatever was happening there, it slightly shook the large container in its wake. The sound, Loki hated that he could already predict what it was, sounded awfully lot like bones cracking, flesh tearing from tendons.
"Thunder?" He called. The commotion continued like Loki's voice didn't at all interrupt whatever was going on. Loki gulped again, mentally prepare himself, then he walked further into the alley, carefully approaching the scene.
He unconsciously held his breath when he saw just what was happening. A body -- a severe corpse -- of what looked like a human child, couldn't be older than thirteen, lied on the ground. Thunder, who had -- just over the night -- grown into the size of a full-grown wolf, was devouring what was left of its meal with strong enthusiasm. It didn't even notice Loki's presence here, or it simply didn't care, too busy eating its prey.
Loki stood there, too stunned to move or to do anything. Then, maybe he gulped too loud, Thunder halted its movement. When it turned around to look at Loki with its face and tentacles covered in blood, it screeched loud enough that Loki stumbled backward.
It did feel like the world was spinning and, for the moment, he couldn't think straight. Couldn't wrap his head around what was happening, and all that he heard, all that he knew, was the creature's loud screech piercing through his ears.
~~~
Thor was surprised when Loki asked to speak with him in private, because Loki was never the one to talk, let alone be the first to ask for a conversation. Though whatever it was Loki wished to talk about, Thor supposed it might have something to do with his being the only person Loki was comfortable with enough. Frigga used to be the one Loki sought when something troubled his mind, but now that she was gone...
"Brother," Thor offered a comforting smile as Loki lingered at the doorway to his brother's room. "Come, have a seat,"
Loki hesitated for a short moment, before he entered the room and gently closed the door behind. There was a couch opposite Thor's bed, Loki flopped down on it with his hands fidgeting together on his lap. He was nervous, that Thor could tell.
"So... you said you wished to speak with me," Thor trailed off, trying to study his brother's face without making it obvious.
"I did," Loki said, he wouldn't look at Thor, then he corrected himself, "I do."
Thor nodded, wordlessly sinking down on the edge of his bed. Judged by the look on Loki's face, Thor feared he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear. Though he reminded himself not to push; Loki was here, he said he wanted to talk. He would talk when he was comfortable enough. Pushing him now would most likely chase him away, and Thor wouldn't want that.
"So..." Loki trailed off. Thor didn't like the way he kept avoiding his eyes but he decided to let it slide and made no comment about that. "I may have... You remember our last trip to Alfheim, don't you?"
"That was just less than a week, Loki, of course I remember," Thor said and hated the way he sounded a little too harsh. So he nodded, when he next spoke he made sure to soften his voice. "I remember,"
Loki nodded back. He licked his lips while his eyes glued to the wall, like he needed a moment -- no matter how short -- to gather his thoughts, rearrange his wording, or just to prolong the second in which he had to say it.
"Loki," Thor's voice was uncharacteristically soft. "Whatever it is, you can tell me." He paused for a breath or two, then added, "I promise I won't be mad,"
Loki finally looked at Thor. There was... something in his eyes; desperation, guilt, fear. He opened his mouth, then closed it, then he sighed, his shoulders slumped as though in defeat.
"I have something..." Loki said, eventually, "I have to tell you,"
__________
"It what?!" Thor's voice rose. He told Loki he wouldn't get mad... and he wasn't mad, or maybe he was. Maybe he was furious now. He wouldn't know. Dozens of emotions flooded through him all at once as his brain tried to process the informations, the things Loki had just told him. So his brother sneaked in a creature he found on Alfheim, and secretly kept it as a pet for days until it slipped away and ate someone.
"Loki, damnit, you -- do you have any idea how... how wrong, how messed up this is? How messed up everything is? What were you thinking?"
"I don't know!" Loki blurted out. "It was -- It was hurt, Thor. I didn't know, all right. It was hurt and scared, and I thought I had to save it. I saved it!"
"By what cost, Loki? What cost? That thing killed someone,"
"And I'm sorry. I didn't know. I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't mean for... for any of this, for anyone to get hurt. Please, Thor, I'm sorry!"
Thor wanted to yell at him. And if he'd just yelled at him seconds earlier, he wanted to yell more. To shake his shoulders and shake some sense into him. A beast from another planet, brought into this world. Millions of people who couldn't protect themselves suddenly exposed to the monster and they didn't even had any idea of the danger lurking in the shadow. His brother was the one causing all of this. Thor wanted to keep yelling, but Loki looked pretty much like a kicked puppy right now, and sure, Thor knew he didn't mean for it to happen. The fact it did happen still, Thor's mind was in a battle with itself. Part of him wanted to blame Loki, the other part felt bad for him, for Thor knew Loki must be blaming himself right now.
Thor opened his mouth to say something. His word was cut off by the alarm wailing from outside, followed by Captain Rogers barged into the room. "We have an intruder," he said.
Loki's face had gone even paler at that. He'd told Thor that after he found Thunder with its prey, he'd dragged it back to his room in a cage he'd conjured with his magic. Although it couldn't be a coincidence that the compound was suddenly under attack.
__________
Loki's fear was proven to be true when, after rushing to where the 'intruder' was located, he found Thunder in a corner, hissing and snarling at all the Avengers surrounding it with their weapons ready to activate.
"The hell is that thing?" They were saying, speaking overlapping each other. Natasha's finger already rested against the trigger of her gun. Clint had his quiver aimed at the creature.
"No!" Loki's next act was out of instinct. Before Thor could stop him he already darted in front of the creature, shielding it from any harm with his own body. "No, don't hurt it. Don't hurt it!" And there was a moment where Loki thought it was too late and he was going to take the bullets and the arrows for his pet, the pain never came. For a moment everyone seemed... stunned. But they lowered their weapons eventually, thankfully, though they still looked lost and confused.
Tony was the first to break the silence. "What the hell, Lokes? You... you know this thing?"
"It's..." Loki looked, for a moment, vulnerable. Thunder kept growling behind him, but it was clear the creature sought Loki's protecting by trying to hide behind him and staying that way, it was clear that it, too, was scared. "He's mine," Loki said after a pause.
"What?" Everyone was speaking at the same time. Only Thor had that look on his face that Loki couldn't quite read.
"I -- I found it. On Alfheim. It was hurt and I couldn't leave it there to die. I didn't mean for any of this to happen, all right? I didn't know it was going to kill someone --"
"It killed someone?" Steve inquired.
Loki opened his mouth, nothing came out.
"Are you... completely insane?" That was Tony, he was losing his mind, that much was obvious.
"I thought it was just some dog!"
"That is not a dog!"
"Well, I didn't know that!"
"How many people has that thing killed?" Natasha asked, her voice cold, unreadable.
"One," Loki said. He wished he could say that without this much shame drowning him alive. No, he couldn't say just one. He knew the damage was done and to try to sugar coat thing would only make it uglier.
There was a moment of silence, and Loki felt like he was being suffocated. Their weapons no longer pointed in his direction, though the look they were giving him didn't make him feel any better.
"You need to kill it," Natasha said. Loki felt something in him break.
"But --"
"I know you saved its life, Loki, and I know it's hard for you, and I'm sorry, I really do. But it has to be you. You brought the thing here. We can't have any more people get hurt or killed."
Loki looked at Thor, like he was asking for help. Thor avoided his eyes and he'd never felt more helpless. He then looked at the rest of the team. Part of him expected them to be angry with him, they didn't look mad. Just sad. Their silence was enough an answer in its own right. It has to be you. You brought the thing here.
Loki looked back at Thunder. The creature stopped snarling the second it met Loki's eyes. Its head slightly nudged against Loki's leg like a cat rubbing itself against its owner. It trusts you.
Loki wanted to say something. There was this lump in his throat that made it hard to speak, like he might start crying right on the spot, if he were to say anything. It'd only been less than a week since he'd bought Thunder in his life, true, but the creature was his. They'd somehow formed these... bond; Thunder believed it was safe with him. It trusted him, that was probably what hurt the most.
"I'm sorry," Thor said. "It's a danger to civilians, brother. I am truly sorry,"
Loki sighed, defeated. Thor was right. It'd already killed a child.
"Can I..." Loki said, "Can I have a moment alone with my pet?" When he next spoke his voice was louder, clearer, "I will do what you ask, but I wish to do it alone."
The Avengers exchanged look. "Of course," Steve said. "Of course."
__________
Loki took Thunder to an empty hall in the compound. It followed him without any protest like any tamed dog would. Then they closed the door and let him be alone with the creature. At least, for Loki's sake, he deserved to have his final moment with his pet in private, to say goodbye.
Thor and the rest waited outside, giving Loki enough spaces that they wouldn't overhear anything. Moment later Loki emerged from the door alone. "I took care of it," he said, his voice slightly shook and his eyes a little bit puffy like he'd been crying.
He stopped in front of Thor and kept his eyes glued to the floor. He didn't say anything more. And Thor thought he never remembered seeing his brother look so small.
"I'm sorry," Thor said after a brief pause. "I really am. We all are," when he pulled Loki into a hug Loki didn't pull away, even if he didn't hug back.
~~~
"Loki?" Thor found his brother sitting alone in Tony's garden a day after the incident.
"Thor," Loki turned to smile at him.
Thor took a seat next to his brother. "How're you... how are you holding up?" He asked, voice soft.
Loki was silence for a short moment, his eyes on his hands that were folded together on his lap. "I'm okay, I guess," He shrugged slightly.
Thor opened his mouth, then he closed it, before he finally spoke it, "I know it was hard for you... to do that. I'm sorry you had to do it,"
Loki was silence for a couple breaths, then he turned to look at his brother, "I was about to walk away when I first found it, Thor. Do you know why I couldn't?"
"Why?"
"It reminded me of myself. When fa -- when Odin found me on Jotunheim." Abandoned, suffering, left to die.
"It was scared, and I could only guess I must have been scared like that, too. It was it, Thor. It was me, that's why I couldn't walk away." Loki added.
"Loki," Thor sighed, "You are not a monster,"
"And neither nor Thunder," Loki's tone was suddenly defensive, not angry or offended, just defensive. When he realised what he said he looked away from Thor again, "I'm sorry, I know what it did was wrong, but it was just an animal, Thor. It couldn't have known any better... It was my job to make sure it couldn't hurt anyone, I failed and now it's dead... because of me."
"Loki..."
"I know it's selfish of me to mourn Thunder because somewhere a mother has lost her child, and that's because of me, too. I'm sorry,"
"You did what you believed was right. You mustn't blame yourself, brother."
Loki chuckled wryly, humourlessly. "I wish it was that easy,"
Thor didn't say anything more. Just wrapped his arms around his bother's shoulders and pulled him close.
~~~
Loki returned to his room that night and locked the door. Alone at last he pulled out a hamster cage from under his bed. Inside, Thunder waggled its tail at him as a greeting at the sight of its owner -- only that Thunder was no longer the size of a wolf but of a squirrel and, with Loki's magic, it would stay that way. No one needed to know Loki didn't do it. There was no need for them to know it was alive because it couldn't hurt anyone anymore.
Sitting on the floor, Loki opened the cage and let Thunder crawl on his hand. "Hi there, little buddy, I'm back," He chuckled, petting the creature with affection. "Sneaked some salmon from the kitchen for you. I bet you're hungry, right?"