"To be his and only his..." Jungkook thought as he kissed the man he laid over. "That's all I want in my life and I want it so badly..." Jungkook lost himself in his thoughts as he made out with the one he used to fear before. But now, it was good knowing that he was bonded with Jimin on another level. Now, some parts of the man didn't seem too scary to the boy now. He didn't believe in the many things Hoseok and Seokjin warned him about so he laid there and kissed Jimin as if the truth of what Jimin was didn't scare him at all. Park Jimin was as normal as the rest. That's how Jungkook saw him.
Jimin pulled away from a kiss and looked at Jungkook in his beautiful eyes. He longed to know the things Jungkook knew and longed to read his mind but he remained there, looking at him as if his world didn't revolve around the boy he faced. Jimin was falling deeper for Jungkook just like the way he did for Hyunwon. Jimin tried his best not to associate the two even after they made love over their bed like this, so he remained there, trying to forget that this face that laid in front of him, wasn't the same face Hyunwon had before.
"What are you thinking about?~ are you pondering what just happened?" Jimin whispered as the man smiled at the sight of Jungkook mirroring his emotions.
"Is it bad that I am? It was my first time doing anything like that! I've... I've never been kissed or made love to anyone... so I can't help but to think about it..." Jungkook replied as Jimin cupped the boy's face and closed his eyes as he rubbed his nose against his.
"If you're up for it... I wouldn't mind going again. My energy leaves my body after I cum but then comes back in a bit. I'm not very exhausted now," Jimin mentioned as Jungkook began to laugh in Jimin's arms. "What's so funny?~"
"Jimin, I'm exhausted! Ah... that was so perfect... I think I'm good for the night," Jungkook assured Jimin with a peck on the center of his plump lips. "I just want to sleep in your arms now... maybe for another day we can do it again."
"Oh you're making it so difficult for me to agree with you!" Jimin laughed and ran the boy's damp hair back. "Jungkook, whenever you want me to make love to you again, tell me and I'll pleasure you," Jimin mentioned and made the boy blush. "Do you love the idea?"
"Make love... I just realized that we aren't even dating!"
"Dating...? I just thought we were partners already... we aren't something more than friends?" Jimin wondered with a worried look over his brown eyes and left Jungkook laughing. "What's so funny? Please tell me!"
"Oh, Jimin!" Jungkook laughed and buried his face against Jimin's neck. "We are... I want to be something more to you than just a friend... I want to be yours... all yours!" Jungkook assured and felt the man caress his hair carefully.
"You told me you were mine, all mine... that's why I believed you were my partner at that moment.... I'm sorry I wasn't very clear," Jimin whispered to Jungkook. "Will you be my partner, my everything, my boyfriend?"
"Of course I will," Jungkook answered and kissed Jimin again. "Jimin, when... we finished, why did you beg for me not to go? Why would you think that?"
"I... I'm just hung up at how I was treated before, it's nothing really. But at times, it always tends to catch up to me and make me feel as if I can't keep someone for too long... I just want everyone to stay," Jimin whispered as his face was then soothed by Jungkook's gentle touch. "Touch me... kiss me... it's all so different yet feels the same. Jungkook, I want you to stay here with me forever... can you do that for me? Please don't run off... I don't know what I'll do..."
"Jimin, you know that I won't leave you. I have nothing, no one in my life that cares for me or even loves me. I'm all alone..." Jungkook whispered and watched Jimin shake his head.
"You're not..." he whispered and slid his gloved hands down to rest them over Jungkook's rear. Placing them there carefully and smiling at the boy. "You think you're alone in a world filled with people... but you're not. You have a family, a supportive friend... they all love you but you don't realize it. It's sad for you to think that way, Jungkook. It's sad that you can't see their love through those many things they say. If they didn't love you, they would never push you to get help or try to offer. If they didn't love you, they wouldn't get upset with you when you denied their help. I can tell they feared they were going to lose you. Then, you ran away Jungkook... you ran away from them and ran away from your friend. People who harmed you in a way only because they longed to help you,"
"Jimin... I want to understand them, I want to but every time I do I'm always let down by the way they speak about me... it's hard to understand that they care about me when they made me turn to drinking... but you... you're all I need! You turned me away from that habit and I couldn't be more happy with you. So, I just want to be in your life... I just want you. No one else," Jungkook replied and hugged Jimin. "I want my life to be filled with nothing but you. You're... my Jimin."
"Don't talk like that... look at me..." Jimin whispered and cupped the boy's face once more. "Everyone gets upset sometimes... they do things they shouldn't do out of anger..." Jimin whispered and softly kissed the boy to then pull away slightly to whisper against his perfectly made lips. "You're too precious... to not understand mistakes. To run away from those who were angry, you didn't even think of confronting them..." Jimin whispered and smiled at him. "Please don't say those things... I don't want you to be like them... and I don't want you to stay angry at others, alright?"
"Alright..." Jungkook complied and took Jimin's advice. Of course, he wouldn't dare to argue with his partner, so he laid there over him and fed those words to his thoughts. Surprisingly, once he applied it to his mind, he began to understand things more clearly. But it was going to take some time for him to fully understand it.
"I hope you don't think I want you to forgive them for calling you many things... I just want you to understand and for you not to run away from your problems, I want you to know that, my sweet little raven. Confronting and communicating... it's something you need to face."
"I understand now..." Jungkook replied and pressed his forehead against Jimin's and smiled. "But just know that I wouldn't leave you like everyone else did, I don't want you to be alone in this world, I'm here for you and always will be," Jungkook assured and looked at Jimin's lips. "I feel sad... sad knowing that your parents left you... I understand your father having to leave since he wasn't immortal, but your mother?"
"She... she was really sad when he died and I guess... I guess she couldn't take it the moment he died. He told her to never give him this eternal curse and she hated that, but she respected his wishes. My father was my mother's world and I understand how it feels when you lose that star you tried so hard to find. He loved her and in the idea of her not finding anyone else that would fill the same void like the way he did, she couldn't take it anymore and decided to leave me when I was old enough to understand things on my own," Jimin answered and looked at Jungkook. "I'll never blame her for being weak... I was weak too... I was weak when it came to Hyunwon, when it came to many others before him and I still am... I'm weak. The day Hyunwon died... I feel like my eternal life changed forever..."
"Shh... don't think about it now..." Jungkook whispered and hugged the man to comfort him. "You have me and I don't mind being all you have... because in my world, you're the only one in it."
"He acts... just like Hyunwon did... he says the same words as him without even knowing it..." Jimin thought and hugged Jungkook back. "Could it be my Hyunwon speaking to me through him? Could he really be my Hyunwon but has no clue of it all? Oh, Hyunwon... I knew you were here all along. My heart still can't bear the memory of you escaping in your last life but now... now you're here to stay," Jimin spoke with the endless grief that weighed in his heart after all this time as it dwelled on his only thought.
Jimin knew his thoughts on Hyunwon got worse by the second Jungkook stepped into his life, so how could he move on now? How could he move on from the one he loved with his heart when his beloved left him so quickly. What seemed like twenty three years ago, seemed as if it was so recent with Jungkook laying in his arms and embracing him. The same whispers, the same words, it all made Jimin want to ask Jungkook if he remembered anything! But even the vampire knew he shouldn't ask that especially since he just made love with the one he admired right now. His new partner just seemed so much like Hyunwon, Park Jimin couldn't dissociate them at all.
At the same time, Jungkook had no idea the amount of grief weighing in the man's heart. He had no idea how it felt to lose someone you trust with your all and had no idea how it felt to love someone more than yourself. Jungkook was confused when it came to the relationship Jimin had with Hyunwon. Was their love true or just one-sided?
Jungkook wanted to believe they were madly in love with each other, but if they were, Hyunwon wouldn't escape Jimin after all they've been through. Chances were, that he truly didn't love him at all and only did it to avoid being killed until he longed for death himself when he found out that even through loving Jimin, he would never be free. Jungkook wanted Jimin to understand that on his own, but as the days go by, Jimin would still bring up Hyunwon as if he was the best thing that has ever happened to him and Jungkook now understood why.
Love for a vampire like Jimin wasn't easy. No one would understand what he was and take it so lightly without wanting to run away. Everyone saw him as a monster and Jungkook could tell Hyunwon thought the same. But of course, Jungkook never thought like that. He never wanted to believe Jimin was a monster and longed to put himself in his shoes and help the man like he did with the boy.
Jungkook wanted to think about Jimin's love for Hyunwon more and ask questions, but he dropped it and went back to the words Jimin spoke to him about when it came to his family and being loved. Jimin gave the boy advice and left him pondering it in his mind as he laid over his partner and began to see things from a different perspective.
From the way Jungkook was before, he used to shy away from help and run the other way, he used to drink his problems away by going to clubs every other week and spend most of his time drinking while he sat by a toilet. Things like these left Jungkook understanding the pain in his mother's heart, the disappointment in his father's voice and the worry in Namjoon's words. Certainly, he knew he shouldn't forgive them for their hurtful words, but understand and acknowledge what they've intended on doing and that was helping from the start.