So far so good, I' keep going with the challenge, and today I got a Sirius chapter for y'all. Enjoy!
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AS SIRIUS STOOD in a small closet in Hogwarts he could sense Maggie's hands on his back and her lips on his neck and her body pressed against his and he was wondering: was he supposed to like... feel something?
He had his arms wrapped around her waist and his head was tilted back a little bit, and he was almost sure that there was no way for Maggie to tell that he wasn't really... interested in her.
For a long time now, actually, he's known something about himself what was... well, it explained a lot.
But he also never felt such an urge to tell someone about it as he did now.
Cause he didn't tell anyone yet, but lately the situation was getting weirder and weirder, because well... ugh. He was with Maggie for so long, because she wasn't a girl to bullshit him with all this 'soulmate' stuff.
He hardly believed in it himself and he knew for a fact that she was cynical about it as well, but for a bit different reason than he was.
Despite that... he was still fooling her and he didn't feel the best with that. He also didn't feel the best with feeling something strong to someone else while still being in relationship with Maggie, but well...
He felt White's hand getting to the lower part of his back and her lips getting back to meet with his own... and right then he finally made up his mind.
He couldn't do this anymore.
He slightly pulled away from Maggie and for a moment she was still kissing him, but then she finally took a clue and stopped. She looked at him instead and only after that, he said trying to catch his breath.
"Uhm, so... I'm gay." He declared simply and turned his gaze away from Maggie, feeling his heart beating fast.
He never really came out ot anyone before and... oh fuck, he should have given it a bit more thought, shouldn't he?
Now she would surely get mad at him and tell everyone and he couldn't afford telling everyone, because everyone included Regulus, and Regulus included...
But right then he heard Maggie's laughter - and it wasn't a mocking laughter or a desperate laughter.
It just seemed like she was amused and when Sirius glanced at her with confusion she indeed looked like someone just told her a really funny joke.
"What?" Sirius raised his eyebrows at her, as she didn't answer in any other way than laughing for a time way too long for him. "I'm not joking, I'm one hundred precent serious... and one hundred precent Sirius, but you already know that and besides..." But before he got to tangle himself up even more Maggie interrupted him.
"No, no I know." She declared, her expression still amused. "It's just I thought you were never going to figure that out." She said and Sirius opened his mouth, completely out of words.
Was he that obvious? But he had so many girlfriends before her, he had a certain reputation and he was a pretty good actor if it came to pretend that he liked when Maggie kissed him... So... what on Merlin's beard?
"W-why? W-what?" He mumbled out and White shrugged, seemingly getting ready to explain.
"I don't know." She said simply and Sirius just shook his head, not taking that for an answer. Before he got to protest though, she continued. "It just seemed like you could be gay." She added and Sirius just opened his mouth, not even a bit more satisfied than a moment ago.
He moved away from Maggie and slowly sat down on one of the buckets that were laying in the closet.
"But-t then why were you with me at all?" He asked and she simply shrugged again. "Like you could have broken up with me at any given moment." He said and Maggie just answered, leaning slightly on the shelf with some cleaning accessories.
"Well, for one it's a good flex to be like 'oh you like Black's abs? Well I have Black's abs, cause he's my boyfriend'." She said and Sirius opened his mouth, perplexed.
"Someone said that they liked my abs?" He asked and Maggie giggled slightly. "I mean I could have expected that, but..."
"Shut up." She silenced Sirius, before he could get into one of his half-joking monologues about how great he was. "The other thing was that, you know, it's nice to have someone to go to Hogsmeade with without all this drama." She cleared her throat. "We just quickly started to get along well." She admitted. "And it's not like I will miss my chance to meet my soulmate being with you, so... whatever." She shrugged and Sirius nodded though he frowned slightly at the last part.
He never understood how Maggie could be so calm about all the soulmate stuff. Like sure, she had a pretty good reason for it and he could understand ignoring it - he really didn't think about his soulmate mark all that much as well. It was just... well, sometimes he thought that it would be nice to know who said what he had engraved on his back.
For a moment the two of them were sitting in silence. Maggie started to examine her fingernails and Sirius was simply staring at the wall.
He actually didn't know what else he could say. He felt a temptation to make some dumb joke, but nothing good came to his mind. Besides, he was still a novice to all that 'coming out' stuff. Like he was practically still in the closet... well, no not practically. Actually...
"Isn't it ironic that I came out for the first time in the closet?" He asked, trying to smile smoothly and Maggie raised her eyebrows on him, for a moment looking at Black instead of her fingers.
"Isn't it ironic that you were kissing a girl when you came out?" She shot back and he opened his mouth in pretended shock.
"Well, that was way below your level." He said and she just shrugged.
Sirius on the other hand felt that a weight that he didn't even know was there suddenly went away and he's able to think straight... well, no not straight, he was never able to do that, but he's able to think... clearly.
Yes, clearly.
And that finally made him think of something else than just himself. He frowned looking at how nonchalantly Maggie was looking at him and he just couldn't help but say.
"Ehm, so like... are we now... broken up?" He asked, trying to not sound too awkward and failing miserably.
Maggie chuckled slightly on that and just said.
"I guess." She huffed under her breath. "It's just a pity we won't be able to write on our wedding invitations 'Black and White'." She laughed and Sirius had to give her that.
One of his favourite things about Maggie was that they both had a similar sense of humour, which enabled them to make constant puns about their surnames, their families, dicks, professors, other students, Slytherins... though it was almost the same as dicks and... everything.
"Well..." Sirius cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. "I honestly am surprised how smoothly it went." He took a deep breath and nodded to himself. "Like, you seem to be really chill about all this."
Maggie raised her eyebrows.
"Am I?" She asked and then looked at the ceiling, to make her typical, fake-think pose. "Like I mean, taking into consideration that I've already thought you might be gay..." She shrugged, looking back at Black and leaving her sentence unfinished.
"Maybe..." He pursued his lips. "But like... I just thought you might me... you know... sad? Angry? Mad? Embarrassed? Or something like that and I dunno, run away?" He said, shrugging and Maggie laughed again, making him look at her confused.
Like he liked her, but she sometimes seemed kind of crazy.
"I mean I can do that, I've been told that I'm a pretty good actress." She said and started to rub her eyes slightly - Sirius wasn't sure what for, but he could guess that she wanted to start pretending that she was crying.
"By whom?" He mocked her and Maggie took her hands away from her eyes to look at him with superiority.
"My teacher in muggle primary school." She said and Sirius snorted.
"Well, I mean don't get me wrong, it's still a level better than your parents, but like..." But before he got to finish, she smacked him slightly in the arm and, squatting next to him, to get to his eye level said, with almost comical seriousness.
"You are lucky that I'm a Hufflepuff or I'd be threatening you just now." She said. "Don't ever mock my acting skills again, Black." She added and Sirius, well accustomed to her twisted sense of humor, answered, trying to be just as serious as she was.
"If you're threatening me that you're gonna threaten me then it won't work, White." He stated and Maggie chuckled slightly, standing up and shaking her head.
"Seriously though, you are lucky." She said and Sirius raised his eyebrows, also slowly standing up from the unstable bucket he was sitting on until now.
"That you're a Hufflepuff?" He asked, his tone already mocking, and when Maggie nodded he shook his head, saying. "Hufflepuffs are pussies." He declared and White snorted.
"You are a pussy, I have the biggest dick you'll ever see." She retorted and Sirius didn't waste any time, having an answer ready to go.
"If you had a dick then maybe I'd actually fell for you." he retorted and Maggie opened her mouth before making a 'oohhh' sound, which, as Sirius learned, was one of the biggest appreciation signs from her side he could get.
For a moment they both recovered from this retorts battle, but then Maggie finally spoke again.
"So... If I may ask." This time her tone sounded actually serious and Black didn't feel very good about it, but he nodded at her anyway. After all it was Maggie and well, he trusted her. He wouldn't come out to her if he didn't trust her. "How long did you know that you are gay?" She finally got that out and Sirius felt a wave of relief.
He could answer that question.
"Ehm..." He scratched his neck quickly making the maths in his head. "I think since like... third year?" He asked and then nodded his head. "Yeah, the end of third year." He nodded.
Maggie frowned, looking at him like she wanted to solve a riddle, but she finally just asked.
"But... wasn't that like a time that you actually started to date girls?" She asked. "I mean you've told me that you had your first girlfriend when you were almost fourteen so..." She stated and he nodded quickly.
"Well, yeah..." Sirius frowned, not really knowing what to say. "I think... well, that was a time when James got his first girlfriend and I guess I just didn't want to be left out." He sighed. "And also, I think I just always liked to impress everyone." He was silent for a few moments. "Just... telling someone that you had like, a lot of girlfriends is pretty impressive, I guess, but telling someone that you're gay is... well, not really, not in my head, anyway." He finished and looked away from Maggie.
"I mean the way you told me that you're gay was pretty impressive." She said, her voice half-mocking, but her expression supportive. "Not necessarily in a good way... I meant for me it was but if it wasn't me it would probably be bad... but still. Impressive is impressive." She finished and Sirius nodded his head, actually feeling a bit better after that comment.
He was just staring at Maggie for a while, before gathering the rest of his courage and saying.
"Ehm, so... we are still friends? Buddies? Pals... mates? Bros?" He asked. "Just... unromantically involved two people, who still meet and like each other?" He asked, feeling that he sounded kind of like Remus, and Maggie rolled her eyes, but said.
"Yeah. And I assume that conversation should stay between us." She made sure and Sirius nodded.
For a moment she was just smiling at him, but then finally suggested.
"How about we get out of here?" She proposed. "It's hot and I don't think we're gonna make out anymore so, yeah..." She nodded her head a bit awkwardly and Sirius quickly answered.
"Yeah, let's get out." He said and opened the door for Maggie, and when she went out he went out after her and felt shivers coming down his spine when the cold air embraced him and some passing student glanced at him with a judging look.
He swallowed. Maybe the closets were small, but they were also cozy and safe.
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Dick jokes, anyone? Yeah, I mean, they can seem immature, but I think they fit Sirius and Maggie. You know, that tWiStEd sense of humor. Anyway, hope you liked the chapter.