A/N:
hehe😼
thats all!
also 'nobody is listening' ... our king zayn made yet again another masterpiece of an album
also thank you for over 10k reads- thats like insane🥺
TW// self harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, abuse, depression.
R@PE WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER!!
im so sorry^
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HARRYS POV:
"therapy appointment next week" louis sighed entering our bedroom with two cuppas. "dont look at me like that haz"
"i hate therapy lou" i leaned back against the headboard. he let out another sigh, a softer one this time "i know, i do too... but if not therapy what else?"
"anything but therapy" i placed my head on his shoulder, taking a sip of my tea. "alright..." his voice went quiet.
"well its spring break, we have a week to ourselves" i steered the conversation.
"very true-" his phone buzzed. lou picked up his phone, i didnt need to see his face to know he rolled his eyes.
"georgia again?" i asked
"she wont stop trying to contact me. i dont see why she cant leave me alone"
"have you told her you dont want contact with her?"
he rolled his eyes again "ive tried explaining to her, much the same to troy... im happy with my family, i dont want to speak to someone who wronged my mother let alone another child from that person"
he handed me his phone letting me read her messages on instagram.
georgiaaustin: hey!
georgiaaustin: how are you? x
georgiaaustin: okay dad said you wouldnt want to talk to me, but i want to get to know my brother!
louist91: i dont want to seem rude but i dont want to talk to troy and anyone involved with him...
georgiaaustin: okay so you hate our father, but that doesnt mean you are going to hate me.
georgiaaustin: lou, come on!!
louist91: 1. dont call me that 2. i never said i hated you 3. he isnt my father... so goodbye
georgiaaustin: louis please, i was an only child...
georgiaaustin: can we meet up at least once?
georgiaaustin: tea? something? please?
georgiaaustin: saw you have a boyfriend, hes cute. does he have a name? or do you always call him curly?
georgiaaustin: no im not some homophobic asshole like dad. i mean i love dad hes just annoying
the messages kept going. "its like she's obsessed with you or something jeez" i tried not to laugh.
"its so fucking annoying"
"block her" i shrugged finishing my tea. louis choked on his "im sorry what?" he spoke coughing.
"if shes being annoying then block her"
"my god styles what ever happened to your kindness?" he laughed pulling me in close.
"hey i dont always have to be kind you know" i stuck my tongue out at him.
"oh styles what am i going to do with you" he laughed, nuzzling into my neck. i smirked "who knows tomlinson"
we stayed like that for a good while before louis shot up "shit what time is it?"
"half passed three" i check my phone.
"i have a shift in half an hour fuck" he muttered jumping out of the bed. he ran over to our closet grabbing whatever he saw first.
my clothes, but i didnt mind. he drowns in my hoodies and shirts its adorable. i rolled my eyes getting out of bed and walking towards the shower.
"oi i was about to take one"
"too bad wait-"
"you dont have work today!" he huffed. i laughed at him "im coming with you though"
"why? i mean id love you too but why?"
"dont wanna be alone" i shrugged turning on the water. "fine then im showering with you" he called walking into the bathroom.
he let our a hitched "woah"
"what? youve seen me naked before" i stared at the topless boy.
"yeah i know, you just fucking beautiful i still cant get over it" he smiled stripping the rest of his clothes off and climbing into the shower, me following behind him.
***
louis shift was almost done. i wasnt bored, i made good conversation with the customers and of course lou. i just really wanted his shift to end so i could go home and spend time with him.
hear me out- i spend every minute of everyday with him which is the best thing i could ever ask for. its just... its saturday night, a night we both reserved as pizza and movie date night (we need a better name) and i look forward to it.
yeah i get annoyed if things dont go as planned. but hey, louis used to beat my ass everyday and now hes the love of my life so...
"hey hazza" louis said. i turned my chair around to face him, he was finishing up a skull tattoo on some biker dude. "i ordered the pizza not to long ago, wanna go pick it up?"
"sure... which place?"
"one down the street, im almost done this is my last client" he wiped away some of the ink on the mans arm.
"be back in a bit, under your name?" he nodded in return. i grabbed my coat from the hook, walking to the front of the shop and our the front door.
i felt the warmer yet still damn spring air hit my face as i walked down the sidewalk. soon enough itd be summer, which im looking forward to.
the wind blew my hair in front of my eyes. i shook out my curls, which i knew were going to be a mess when i got back.
"hi there, what can i get started for you today?" the cashier spoke with a grin as i entered the pizza place.
"pick up for tomlinson" i smiled back. the cashier looked through a few things before saying "itll be ready in a few minutes"
i took a seat by one of the tables, pulling out my phone and playing 2048 for a bit. "two nil! two fucking nil its insane" a voice ran through the pizza place.
"best game ive seen a while eh" another voice spoke back. a familiar sounding voice, one a hadnt heard in a while though.
"order for tomlinson" the cashier called. as i got up from my seat and looked up i saw the last person i have ever wanted to see.
my dad.
i handed the cashier ten quid, not breaking eye contact with him. "thank you, enjoy your evening" i gave him a quick smile before turning around to walk out of there.
"harry?" the voice spoke.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
i slowly turned around...
why would you turn around? you shouldve kept walking. fucking hell styles no.
"uh..." i thought for a moment "do i know you?"
nice one.
"what do you mean?" he scoffed "its me.. your father?!" he seemed taken back by my question.
"im sorry- my father left us when i was young, i wouldnt know" with that i walking down the street pizza in hand
i quickly made my way back to the shop, finding louis outside finishing up a cigarette.
i dont know what came over me but i took it out of his hand and inhaled the chemicals. "styles what on earth are you doing?" he quizzed.
"sorry- i... fuck" i mumbled handing it back to him.
"you alright? did something happen?" he threw the cigarette on the ground and stepping on it before we both got in the car.
"i saw- my uh... my da- desmond" i finally managed to speak up after a few minutes of driving. louis hit the breaks as hard as he could stopping in front of a red light.
"what did he do?"
"he didnt do anything- i... i saw him in the pizza place as i was about to leave."
"thats was it?" louis voice sounded worried. more worried than usual when on this topic.
"he called my name, i turned around and pretended to not know who he was- boo im okay. it just really caught me off guard"
louis let out a sigh "alright curls... only if you are sure, because i can kick his ass anytime"
"arent you the charming type" i smiled kissing his cheek. "right what do you say we est this pizza, watch a disney film and head off to bed?"
"i think thats a splendid idea" louis laced our fingers together and continued to drive.
***
"gem and i will be back in a bit" mums soft voice spoke from the front door.
"why cant i come?" i pouted, mum let out a small sigh "you can come next time, i promise..."
"just for the ride? please mum"
"next time, it can be just us two... we can have a day for us okay? i swear on my life we will baby... but we have to go"
"ok..." i gave her a hug not wanting to let go.
the front door closed.
why did she have to leave me alone with him? why cant i tell her? cause hes gonna do it again thats why. im twelve for fuck sakes i should be able to tell someone.
"fucking cockslut are we now?" his voice boomed in my ear. "wanting to go get your nails done" he spat on my face dragging me by the ear. "i dont need a fag for a son"
i felt the tears in my eyes knowing i wouldnt be able to get help. knowing i cant speak up, knowing he will do it again.
"and i thought i already fucked the gay out of you" he growled throwing me onto the beat up sofa.
just keep quiet, dont say anything, eyes closed... itll be over soon.
i felt my body shiver and tense up when he ripped my trousers off. "i swear its like youre starting to like this. you dont even talk"
i cant talk- hes just gonna do it some more...
"its for youre own good bastard" i felt a sting across my face as his hand swung across it.
i tried not to cry as he shoved his- into me full speed and didnt stop. i didnt ask for this did i? no i didnt. no- "fucking like that dont you fag?"
"st- op" i let out a cry "stop- please no STOP"
fucked up now harry... you really did.
"shut up bitch" he screamed slapping my face again. "fuck" he yelled.
one thing he didnt hear was the door to the basement open and someone walk down the stairs.
"i think i left my phone down- oh my god DESMOND-" mum shouted in completely disarray.
"w-wha... its not.." he stuttered stepping away from my crying body. "mum? did you find your- whats going on?" gemma came down the stairs.
"harry? why are you? dad wh... oh my god" she ran over to me. i pulled up my pants and trouser... "harry come on upstairs" she whispered to me.
i looked back to mum who was a blur of salty tears. she looked horrified, worried, angry... any one of those emotions.
"im not gonna pretend like that didnt just happen baby bro" gem whispered in my ear as we sat down in the kitchen. my tears never stopped...
"NO- I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE- AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER... AWAY FROM ME- AWAY FROM MY SON" mum yelled pushing des up the stairs.
"YOU DONT GET IT" he shouted back
"GET WHAT? WHAT IS THERE TO GET DESMOND? YOU ARE SEXUALLY ASSA- i cant even say it..." she choked.
"SO YOU WANT A FAG FOR A SON?" his shouting got louder. "I WAS TRYING TO-"
mum had found the strength in her voice very quickly "SAVE IT YOU BITCH" both gem and i were taking back by her language.
"SO WHAT? WHATEVER HIS SEXUALITY IS OR WHO HE IDENTIFIES AS DOESNT MAKE HIM ANY LESS OF A HUMAN BEING-"
"IT WILL IF HES GETTING BULLIED CONSTANTLY"
"YOU JUST SEXUALLY ASSAULTED MY CHILD"
"OUR.."
"MY CHILD- DONT EVEN THINK FOR A MOMENT HE IS YOURS- OR EVEN GEMMA. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE" she actually had to push him out of the house. once she locked she ran over to me, everyone had tears in their eyes.
"oh baby im so sorry" mum tried to hug me but i flinched. "h-how long..." she sniffled
i couldnt speak i was still processing what happened... i held out the number four.
"four weeks?" i shook my head no "months..." again no... "harry-"
"baby bro- im... no... oh my god... we didnt notice im so sorry i dont know what to.." she wrapped her arms around me.
i gasped... my lungs felt heavy, i felt sweaty yet i felt cold. "baby... are you finally up?"
"he- then... mum n g.." my breathing was short. "but they- wasn.. pa.."
"shhh hazza, ive been trying to wake you up for five minutes..."
"but- he its no..." louis wrapped his arms around me pulling me onto his lap.
"you arent there anymore" he started rocking back and forth "youre with me, in our apartment, in donny" his voice was raspy yet soothing at the same time.
my heavy breathing slowed down as soon as he started drawing shapes in my back. "youre safe with me, imma always protect you" he kissed my temple.
we laid back down, i was pulled in as close as i could be to louis' chest. "i love you" he mumbled as i closed my eyes.
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A/N:
hello my fellow children:)
hope you enjoyed again
shorter chapter because mental capacity go brrrrr again so:/
**
also:
it means a lot seeing you guys comment and vote and shit- like it really does🥺
so again thank you- and thank you for over 10k read it absolutely blows my mind-
-lauren xx