—One Month Later—
Today is the day I am getting married, my mother always says marriage is the beginning of a family and is a lifelong commitment and I am not sure I am ready for this commitment yet I am dolled up here.
Yes I am hell nervous and super stressed out and anxious, I am already sitting on the couch wearing a red long heavy stoned velvet lehenga, my head is covered with a veil as a mark of respect, ranging from covering the face only partially to falling as far back as the shoulders.
Adeline is staring at me in awe from the time she entered the room, Aayath is giving me the last touch up not listening to any of my words when I said her to stop and not to apply much makeup because I don't like heavy makeup.
"Babe!!" I narrow my eyeballs to look at my friends who is whipping her invisible tears and I roll my eyes seeing her over-dramatic face
"Hey! Don't roll your eyes on me" she says crossing her arms but I look at her blankly an annoying sigh escapes her lips and she crouches down to look at me, I bite inner cheek when I see her eyes softening behind the playful look she is putting up— ya Allah she for sure will make me cry, this girl.
"Are you ready for this marriage? Just so you know I have prepared a runaway car just outside the building" I laugh at the girl's words who throws me a wink "You just have to tell me if that guy annoys you, I am gonna punch him up till he apologises with his hands on his ears" my lips pulls out in a pout to not cry at her sweetness.
I quickly hug her with a bright smile still her words running in my mind and unknowing a tear drop from my eyes.
"Hey you idiot don't cry, you will look like a zombie in your marriage with Kajal smudge all over your eyes, you don't want to scare that Zain guy right?" she playfully speaks while wiping my tears "It's waterproof," I said chuckling at her.
"Oh my, being intelligent huh? I love you so damn much don't forget I am your first love" I remember the way she laughed when I said her my relatives thought her as my boyfriend when they saw the caller ID saved as my love, she didn't stop teasing me telling me that she is my boyfriend and I shouldn't be marrying Zain but her because she won't be able to live without me.
"Yeah yeah, you are my first love my line," I said pinching her cheeks before hugging her tightly, I am lucky to have her, not everybody gets a friend like her and if they do never let them go because they are too precious.
When A knock was heard we turn towards the door and there stood mamma, my mother in law, she is wearing a peach colour saree and it is looking amazingly beautiful on her with that big smile and light makeup she looks ethereal.
"Is my daughter in law ready to accept my son's hand?" I chuckled but nod shyly, she smiles at me before patting my head.
"Masha Allah you look beautiful" she compliment: me before turning towards Adeline.
"Darling I am sending Inaya please bring Jannat on stage okay?" Adeline nods excitedly for being the bridesmaid and Mamma give her a soft smile before leaving us two alone.
"You know you are lucky" She speaks with a pout "and why is that?" I raise my eyebrow "Girl I have never seen a mother in law that is so sweet, like seriously she is just as sweet as a candy" I can agree with that.
"Yeah, in that case, I am lucky, she is the kindest" I smile at her but remember my mom who resembles her, my heart clenches at the thought of them not being with me on my big day.
"Hey" Adeline brings tissues up to wipe my tears "Don't cry please, I hate seeing you crying" I don't know what to reply, I just want to cry and hug someone tightly.
.......
" I do"
I heard everybody cheering when my groom said it three times and the same goes for me. My mamu brings the official contract where I need to sign first before the groom does. My hands are cold trembling and I could feel my cheeks wet from crying.
I want my parents now that's what all girls want they want their marriage to be done by their parents, her father bringing her marriage contract her mother bringing her up till the stage that is what I dreamed of that is what all girl dream is, but not everything happen as we think, I love you Ammi abbu and I miss you so much.
The first one to fill my mouth with sweet was my mother in law, she hugged me tightly before wiping my tears I know they can't see me since my half face is covered with a veil, she kissed my forehead and I gave her a small smile trying my best to not sob like a kid.
I can't believe I am a married woman now I have a husband and the best part is I don't know how my husband looks I mentally chuckled thinking how I accepted this marriage without seeing the groom not even after our engagement.
No it's not my family's mistake it is my stubbornness who refused to see the picture or should I say I was scared? All 'every parents wish' kid looks that typical men with glasses and high pants on with their hair shaved as much as they could—in one sentence not the dreamy Man of a girls dream, and I didn't want to say no after seeing the picture I would be terribly blamed for that so I left that heart attack to take place on my wedding day, and I have yet to see him.
And I don't why not knowing how the groom looks all of a sudden made me very frustrated and I just wanted to lash out. And on top of that my parents not being present made it worse for my mental state—just all of a sudden.
They took me into the room and gave me some time to change my dress, the one that my in-laws bought I dressed up when Aayath came in.
—Zain's pov—
After all the congratulations and hugs I am standing there a few feet's away from Jannat's room, my heart lets not talk about that poor being which is being tortured inside, palms are sweating and this feeling is totally new, it's not that nervousness we get when we get caught doing mischief things, this is different. Totally different.
The one I have never experienced. Obviously Zain.
I want to see her and talk to her before we both meet in front of everyone it is so so awkward when they tease us and start screaming for no particular reason and to make things less awkward I thought of talking to her now and my cool mom agreed to it.
I took a deep breath mentally preparing myself not to mess myself up in front of her and mainly not to stutter which always happen when I am nervous, I was mentally writing down a speech in my head all the things I will say and ask when I see her and not stand like dumb sharing smiles with each other.
I gather all my guts I had and walked near the door and I was disappointed when I heard two voices behind the half closed door. I could hear what they are talking I thought only Jannat was in, well, my ugly fate.
Well if disappointment was something that made my heart sad, the next moment it literally shatters into pieces when her words catches my ear like fire and pierce through my soul—to quickly.
That I stand their feeling dumb.
"Ya Allah you've gone mad! Totally crazy. Why the hell are you not happy you've just got married Jannat what happened to you?!" A girl who I don't know questions Jannat I guess since she used her name with a low disappointment and anger filled voice
"How will I be when I am not! do you want me to pretend?!" she snaps back angrily and leaves me depressed, she is not happy if she is not then why did she agree?
"Fine then, oh my god I am soo happy I've got married, married to a person who I don't even know how he looks, I am going to be with a man who I have never seen in my life, can you feel the happiness I am feeling? I might faint because of the load of happiness I am getting" Her words filled sarcasm and never in my life have I ever regretted so much than today at this moment I feeling for coming here.
"Then why did you accept it you idiot?! We asked you so many times, I personally asked you so many times!" The girl yells not bothering to keep her voice low, and now her voice isn't normal as before.
"Because I do not want to be a Burden on you people, and this is nothing but a force Marriage where my aunt says everybody that I am a burden and how many days they had keep me and my brother, tell me who will say no after hearing this coming from your own relative's mouth and that's what I did I accepted so I won't be a burden on them anymore" huh? Zain leave from here. Before you become numb. But my body was not moving. I gulp my dry throat but feel the way it pains terribly in my chest.
"What about Zain? He didn't do anything he is not at fault, from your words I can tell your not going to love him and just be a wife for the world and a normal human being for Zain" the other girl talks for me.
"My heart can't accept things just like that I am just his wife nothing more I don't know if I can love him or can fulfil his needs" that would be the last thing I want to hear on my wedding day.
I scoff at her words, needs my foot.
Fuck this shit hurts.
******
My eyes search for my mom who I found standing with my Aunts and talking to them "Mom!" I call for her and to my greatest surprise she heard it at once, I mouthed her to come near me which she does before saying something to my aunt to which she nods with a smile.
"Yes, my handsome son how did it go?" She wiggles her brow in a teasing manner as soon as I was near her, I wish I could blush at her teasing but now I was annoyed the words Jannat said was replaying again and again in my head as if someone has On the audio on repeat mode.
"Mom I want to talk to you" My voice coming out serious even though I tried my best to calm my tone, she looks at me with her eyebrows raised not liking the tone I am using. But I drag her by holding her wrist gently, taking her to a nearby room, I make sure that there is nobody else.
When we entered the room she did not waste time to ask me what happened which I replied by asking her a question.
"Mom" breathing out I gather myself, Zain be strong you can't show her your hurt she will feel really bad I don't want to see her in a bad mood not now "yes what happened Zain? Tell me?"
"It's...mom I clearly asked you if you have shown my picture to Jannat and asked her if she is ready for this marriage or not right mom?" I utter each word very clearly.
"Yes I did baby I did, but I didn't show her I mean, I asked her aunt if she showed your photo to Jannat and asked her if she agreed to this marriage without anybody's pressure and they said yes they did show her and gave her plenty of time to think and answer...so I thought of not asking Jannat again because she was already so nervous I didn't want to make things more complicated for her" she told me whatever happened with little worry on her face probably thinking why I am asking her now.
" mom....that's not true" I mumble getting scared of mom's outburst "what do you mean ?" Her face only shows confusion.
"They lied to you I guess, they didn't show her my photo nor they gave her plenty of time they lied to you she accepted this marriage without knowing how I look and what I do, I guess she only knows my name" She knitted her brows in confusion before snapping as everything registered her mind.
"What do you mean? How the hell did they lie to me did they just force her to marry my son?" as expected her face shows rage.
"Mom I don't want you to make a scene, nothing can happen now so keep it down" I calm her with my words being close to her so she won't lash out which I wouldn't if she does.
"Are you serious? Just wait till the rituals are over, I am gonna drag that women by her hair and give her some lesson till my heart rests in peace" She glares at me "Mom" a sigh escapes my lips, but I shake my head asking her not to do anything.
After few protests she finally accepts reluctantly "Okay but don't you dare think I will leave them just like that" I give her a soft smile before nodding "okay but now calm down," I sigh feeling done with myself already, but took her into an hug and she does the same.
"I love you mama" I mumble to feel better "I love you too now go wash your face and smile I don't want my daughter-in-law to look at her husband in this state" she speaks to brighten up the mood.
But my mood has already dropped down the hill.
——-