For the next few days, I tried to avoid the eyes of the others in the house, hoping that the things between me and Remus had remained unheard that night. Although I caught Bill looking at me with a telltale smile a few times, Molly was more judgmental than usual, and Sirius avoided communicating with me at all. It was much easier for Remus, as he did not visit the quarter so often, and the male sexual exploits were viewed differently.
Harry's meeting was over, and almost everyone in the house was in a good mood, and I thought they had forgotten that night. I was just coming down the stairs from the library when Remus was waiting for me on the stairs with his hands in his pockets. He was wearing a gray shirt and rolled up his sleeves over his elbows. A playful flame shone in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked him, trying to decipher his expression. He didn't answer, just raised his eyebrows and nodded at the room across from him. I looked at it questioningly, it was the door of a closet that almost no one entered. "I don't understand."
"Come," and he took my hand and led me inside, closing the door behind him. I still didn't understand anything.
He came to me and grabbed my waist gently but firmly enough to keep me close to him. His mouth moved around my jaw, and I realized that he knew exactly where I liked to be kissed.
"Not here" I tried to fight him for a few moments.
"Why not? Nobody comes in here; we will be quiet. "he hummed along my neck. Remus pressed me up against an old desk. With a swipe of his arm, everything was off the table as he placed me on top of it. He gathered my skirt above my hips and slid aside my knickers. With a wicked gleam in his eye, he spread my legs and knelt between them. His tongue trailed fire along the inside of the thigh. I waited breathlessly when suddenly the door opened and Molly stood in the doorway with a shocked expression. She quickly gathered herself, closed the door, shouting:
"If you can't silence your room, at least lock your doors! "
I quickly pushed Remus away from me and punched him in the chest.
"Stop, stop, that's the end. I will not have more sex in this house even if you beg me. "I told him angrily. "I just started to look them in the eyes without blushing and for what... "
"Don't worry, Molly and Arthur and their seven children shouldn't talk about decency," he smiled, though he was obviously embarrassed to be caught in this kind of situation.
"It's easy for you, I'm here more often. And it's easier for men. Sirius rolls his eyes every time I speak to him. Molly looks at me condemningly. " I groaned.
"Come and live with me," he told me in one breath, stopping me from pressing the doorknob. I turned to him in astonishment.
"Are you serious? "
"Absolutely. I have thought about it for a while. My house, as you know, is not very big, but at least we can be alone. "He smiled, scratching the back of his head.
"I don't know," I hesitated for a moment, "I really want to, but I can't leave Sirius here. You know lately that he's gotten more irritable than usual. Ever since Dumbledore forbade him to go out. He even seems a little disappointed that Harry is not expelled. I know it sounds awful, but I think he hoped he'd live here too.
"Dumbledore forbade him for his own safety. But yes, you're right, this is not the time for such a step. " he sighed, but visibly disappointed.
"I really want to move in with you," I tried to persuade him. "But I need to talk to Sirius."
Remus nodded in agreement, making my stomach drop.
***
Over the next few days, I confirmed my doubt that Sirius did not seem wholly overjoyed that Harry would be returning to Hogwarts. He had put up a very good show of happiness on first hearing the news, wringing Harry's hand and beaming just like the rest of them; soon, however, he was moodier and surlier than before, talking less to everybody, even Harry and me, and spending increasing amounts of time shut up in his mother's room with Buckbeak.
I knocked on the door of the room, hoping to find him there and talk to him.
"I haven't gotten rid of that boggart, Molly." I heard my uncle's voice inside.
"It's me," I said, opening the door. He was lying on the bed, Buckbeak resting his head on one side so that Sirius could run his fingers over his feathers and caress him.
"If I interrupt, I can drop by later," I said, trying to make him smile.
"Come in," he replied, but without emotion.
I closed the door behind me and came to sit next to Sirius on the bed near the fire.
"I want to talk to you." I began and paused on whether to say anything more. "I miss the time when you and I were the only ones in this house, and all we had to do was talk to each other. I miss your condemnatory comments. "
"At least you're busy now, I'm not doing anything. I am locked in this house, to which I have sworn never to return. "
"But now the house is used for a completely different purpose. Imagine how your mother would feel if she found out what was going on here. " (I didn't call her my grandmother because I didn't feel it.)
"At least that. " He sighed.
"Are you happy that Harry wasn't expelled from school?" my voice whispered with a questioning.
He looked at me quizzically. "Of course yes. Why do you ask me such a question? "
"I think somewhere deep down you wanted him to be expelled so he could come and live with you and both be outcasts together."
"That's not true," he tried to defend himself but fell silent at the end of the sentence. "I'm a terrible person, aren't I?" He continued, defeated. "I feel terribly guilty that a part of me was hoping for that. And it was obviously obvious to others. "
"Hardly anyone else noticed," I said. "I just feel your mood better than the others. You're not a terrible person, Sirius. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are. "
He looked at me sadly. "Sometimes I forget he's not James. And that we are not young and reckless teenagers again. James is gone. As much as Harry looks like him, he's a completely different person. And I say it with good thoughts - he took the good things from both his father and Lily. I want to get my lost years back, but I can't find the right way to be locked in this house. "
"Let Harry follow in his own footsteps. It's good that he's not as reckless as you and his father when you were young. Fate gives you a second chance, Sirius. Don't be his friend. He has. Be his mentor, be his father he never had. James would like that. "
"You're right. And I know it, it's just hard for me to make it closed between four walls. "
"Look, I have an idea in my head that you could help me with."
And I told him about my desire to buy and fix thе old inn.
"You could help me guard it. In general, there are a lot of scums. It would be nice if a huge black dog that could do magic hovered around. "
"Dumbledore won't approve of me hanging out there," Sirius told me, but a flame still came to life in his eyes.
"I've already talked to him."
"What?" Really? "
"Yes. However, I had to share my plan so that we could attract werewolves to our side. I told him I would have to rely on someone to keep my back. And he agreed to be you if you're still careful and hiding. And you come out in human form only as a last resort. And ... "
"And what? " He asked me impatiently.
"And ... if you promise to behave more like a dog," I smiled.
At that moment, Sirius took on his Animagus form and began to run merrily around the room. I laughed out loud. It didn't look like an ordinary dog at all. Even Buckbeak brightened, watching him, and fluttered his wings.
***
A few days later, as I entered the kitchen, I saw Molly hanging a large banner that read Congratulations Ron and Hermione — new prefects.
"I thought we'd have a little party, not a sit-down dinner," she told me as I entered the room.
Almost everyone was here. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Ginny, Sirius, Remus, Tonks, and Kingsley were already there and Mad-Eye stumped in shortly after I had got myself a glass of wine.
"Oh, Alastor, I am glad you're here," said Mrs. Weasley brightly, as Mad-Eye shrugged off his traveling cloak. "We've been wanting to ask you for ages — could you have a look in the writing desk in the drawing-room and tell us what's inside it? We haven't wanted to open it just in case it's something really nasty."
"No problem, Molly . . ."
Moody's electric-blue eye swiveled upward and stared fixedly through the ceiling of the kitchen.
"Drawing room . . ." he growled, as the pupil contracted. "Desk in the corner? Yeah, I see it. . . . Yeah, it's a boggart. . . . Want me to go up and get rid of it, Molly?"
"No, no, I'll do it myself later," beamed Mrs. Weasley.
"What does it mean to be a prefect?" I asked the others.
"A prefect at Hogwarts was a student who had been given extra authority and responsibilities by the Head of House and Headmaster. One male and one female student were chosen from each house in their fifth year to act as prefects. " Tonks explained to me. "I was never a prefect myself, My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities."
"Like what?" said I, while choosing a baked potato from the table.
"Like the ability to behave myself," said Tonks
I laughed. "There were no such things in my school, there were some students who enjoyed privileges, but it was not because of merit, but because they are favorites of some teachers. Each teacher could choose one student to patronize during the year. "
"What about you?" Remus asked me.
"Yes, especially last year. Three of the teachers wanted to be my patrons, and in the end, I had to choose. " I said, trying not to sound boastful.
"And who did you choose?" He asked again, standing next to me and hugging me from behind.
"The most beautiful, of course," I joked, and the others laughed.
"What about you, Sirius? Have you been prefect? " Ginny asked.
Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh.
"No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Remus was the good boy; he got the badge."
"I think Dumbledore might have hoped that I would be able to exercise some control over my best friends," said Remus. "I need scarcely say that I failed dismally."
I imagined him for a moment - 20 years younger, with the same tousled hair, little fewer scars on his face, but with the same smile and shining eyes, adorned with a shiny badge. I smiled. Then a shadow of sadness passed through my eyes. Dumbledore was probably one of the few headmasters who would give a werewolf the badge, no matter how brilliant, smart, and good he was. Remus lived in a terrible society. Many people did not want to see below the surface. I looked at him and my heart sank. He was the best and smartest man I knew. He loved to teach, the students loved him. But society did not give him a chance to do what he loved and knew how to do.
"What's on your mind? " He asked, taking me out of my thoughts, gently place his palm on my cheek.
"I imagined you as a teenager. "
"Do not. " He laughed. "I wasn't very attractive."
"I doubt. " I objected. "Excuse me, I promised Molly I'd help with that boggart upstairs. And she seems to have just climbed. " I wanted to leave him for a moment. I didn't want to reveal the thoughts that were tormenting me.
I tiptoed up the stairs in the hall past the stuffed elf heads, but as I approached the first landing I heard noises. Someone was sobbing in the drawing-room.
"Molly?" I said.
There was no answer but the sobbing continued. I climbed the remaining stairs two at a time, walked across the landing, and opened the drawing-room door. Molly was cowering against the dark wall, her wand in her hand, her whole body shaking with sobs. Sprawled on the dusty old carpet in a patch of moonlight, clearly dead, was Ron.
"Molly?" I croaked.
"R-r-riddikulus!'' she sobbed, pointing her shaking wand at Ron's body. Crack. Ron's body turned into Bill's, spread-eagled on his back, his eyes wide open and empty. Molly sobbed harder than ever.
"R-riddikulus!" she sobbed again.
Crack.
Arthur's body replaced Bill's, his glasses askew, a trickle of blood running down his face.
"No!" Molly moaned. "No . . . riddikulus! Riddikulus! RIDDIKULUS!"
Crack. Dead twins. Crack. Dead Percy. Crack. Dead Harry . . .
"Molly, This is not true. " I intervened, it took me a few seconds to recover from the shock and figure out what was really going on.
I stood between her and the boggart. A forgotten memory appeared in front of me, pushed to the bottom of my mind. There stood a witch; her skin was like molten lava, wrinkled and as dry as a bone. Teeth, well what was left of them, were rotted out to the core of yellow and mottled. Her snake-like eyes glared at me and her misshapen, raven nose stuck out making her face even more world weary. She was in a trance-like state and uttering words I barely heard. I knew what she was saying.
"No! " I shouted. " Riddikulus "
But nothing has changed. The witch approached me, listing words I wanted to forget. I had to think of something funny. It was not real. Her words were not real.
"What's going on?"
Remus had come running into the room, closely followed by Sirius, with Moody stumping along behind them. Remus looked from me to the old witch on the floor confused. Pulling out his own wand he said, very firmly and clearly,
"Riddikulus!"
The witch vanished. I saw myself in front of me - pale and tormented with blood all over my body.
Remus waved his wand once more and my twin body vanished in a puff of smoke.
"Oh — oh — oh!" gulped Molly, and she broke into a storm of crying, her face in her hands.
"Molly," said I bleakly, walking over to her, "Molly, don't . . . And I couldn't handle that boggart. He was so real. "
"Molly, it was just a boggart," Remus said soothingly ."Just a stupid boggart . . ."
"I see them d-d-dead all the time!" Mrs. Weasley moaned into his shoulder. "All the t-t-time! I d-d-dream about it . . ."
"I'm scared too, Molly. But it was just a boggart," he said
I was staring at the patch of carpet where the boggart, pretending to be my body, had lain. Moody was looking at me.
"D-d-don't tell Arthur," Mrs. Weasley was gulping now, mopping her eyes frantically with her cuffs. "I d-d-don't want him to know... Being silly . . . "
After a while, we managed to calm her down. I felt sorry for her, I knew how devoted she was and she loved her family. I didn't have to judge her sometimes because she was too protective. Almost everyone went down to the kitchen with her again. I stayed a little longer in the room, pensive when I felt someone's delicate fingers caress my face.
"Are you okay? "Remus asked me.
"Yes," I nodded. "I saw your fear, Remus. It doesn't have to be that way. "and I hugged him tightly.
"I don't know when the shape of my boggart changed. Before, the moon kept appearing, constantly reminding me of my condition. But after I found you in that basement, on the verge of death, pale, tortured, and covered in blood. I can't get it out of my mind. "
"Do not. I am here and I am alive. " I kissed him.
"What about you? What was this witch with a glazed look? "
"Something I thought I forgot," I said, shivering. "During a summer vacation a few years ago I met this woman in a village. She said she was a Seer. I do not believe in such things. But my friend took me to her. When we were alone, she started telling me some nonsense. But the moment I tried to leave, she changed. It was as if she were in a trance and began to speak in a different voice. My grandmother told me that she had made a prophecy at that time. Something like Harry's. I wanted to forget the incident. But she always somehow reminds me of herself and scares me. It sounds silly to be afraid of words that I don't even know if they apply to me. "
"What did she tell you? "