As I reluctantly opened my tired eyes, I was greeted by the gentle glow of sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains adorning my windows. Letting out a weary sigh, I delicately ran my slender fingers through the silky strands of my ash brown hair, relishing in their velvety texture against my skin. Gathering a handful of hair, I skillfully twisted it into a haphazard bun, all the while releasing a fatigued yawn from my lips.
My throat felt dry like a sandpaper whereas sudden pounding in my head started making me hiss in reply. Rubbing my eyes, in order to clear the haze around those hazel orbs I stretched both my arms trying to shrug off the exhaustion that suddenly felt on my-
"I love you alizay plz-"
"JUST SHUT IT SAYING HER NAME-"
"WHY CANT YOU UNDERSTAND I DONT LOVE HER-"
"WE ARE ENGAGED BUT NOT MARRIED RIGHT-IT CAN BE BROKEN-"
My head felt heavy as all the blood came rushing into it for even mere thinking about yesterday's incident.
It felt like my nerves had been rippped out of my brain. letting reality hit me with a thousand fold. The betrayal, the pain, the insult, the humiliation, everything hurted me like a hammer stuck in my heart. Memories that I wanted to forget, Memories that I wanted never to return came all back at once bitting me on the ass.
Tears again welled up in my eyes, not letting me forget anything just for even a minute.
My breaths became shallow, as it hurted to keep a sob inside of me. My lips quiver while a traitorous tear made its way down my right cheek.
Last night was tough for me. Hell I didn't even wanted to come back home and meet Baba.
But nothing happens the way you wish and I relized this the hard way.
Exhaling loudly, I closed my eyes not trusting the tears of mine at all. Running the palm of my hand down my face I angrily Wiped away pathetic tears with the back of my hand and roughly threw the blankets off of me.
Slipping my feet into slippers I made my way to bathroom to do my business but as soon as I entered my legs Stopped moving further as my hazel orbs locked its stare on the most horrible thing I have ever seen.
The previously smooth hair now appeared disheveled as if it had been pulled from its roots countless times.
The formerly lustrous hazel eyes now appeared lackluster and brown.
The once vibrant lips, adorned with lipstick, now appeared dry and swollen.
The rosy cheeks that once boasted a crimson hue now appeared gloomy and lifeless.
'Isthat even..me..?'
'How can a person change just overnight?'
That wasn't me
That obviously wasn't me
Closing my eyes I let my mind relax trying to defense myself in a positive way but hell nothing was positive the way i look.
hands lifted up on there own accord as to see if that is what it is...
As those slender fingers of mine cupped both of my cheeks on either side and my face formed its shape into pout I knew that nothing is dreamy anymore. Everything is real and hard.
Hamza left me.
He broke me.
My love was a lie.
It was A LIE.
It was all true.
Tears welled up in my eyes once again, causing a burning sensation. Simultaneously, my chin and lips began to tremble. The pressure on my chest made it difficult to breathe, as if it were being constricted. I looked down with teary eyes, observing my trembling hands. I turned them around, aware of what was happening in the depths of my mind. My body started to shake uncontrollably, rendering me unable to stand. My legs gave way, and I collapsed onto the black tiled floor of my bathroom. Curling up into a ball, I wrapped my arms around myself, attempting to make myself appear smaller amidst the harshness of life. With closed eyes and a lowered face, a sob escaped my lips, intensifying the tightness in my chest.
"Inaya-"
I could hear someone taking my name but my body refused to acknowledge it.
"Inaya..-"
Overwhelmed by pain, I let out a grunt, my breaths shallow and labored. The pounding in my head grew more intense, leaving me disoriented and unable to comprehend my surroundings, including the voice that beckoned me.
"Sherni-"
"You promised me you'll never cry then why are you crying now?"
Suddenly I could sense it in my brain like a tattoo.
That word was what mama used to call me. The sweet angelic voice.
"Why Sherni-?"
That voice..?
It caused my body to jerk with energy that I never felt before. My panice subsiding as my head jerked itself up causing me to instantly stop with my sorrow.
'mama..?'
Dry whisper left from my parched lips with so much emotions all hiting at once.
Trying to wipe the blurriness around my pain filled orbs with the back of my hand I instantly Jersey my head in all directions trying to locate where the voice was coming from but everything looked like as before.
Same mirror, same shower head, same tiled walls nothing more nothing less.
Maybe the pain was affecting me more deep than I thought or maybe I was being delulu
Heaving a heavy sigh I closed my eyes as I whispered quietly with in these four walls.
"maa......I miss you. You must be disappointed in me right now...-
Sarcastic chuckle left my lips as I continue
"For me crying over some boy....but mama.....I...loved..him"
I silently sobbed as Tears never get tired of flowing on their own from my doe like eyes as everything repeated in my mind again and again like a mantra .
It was hard to believe the truth....
It was hard to accept the reality...
It was really hard to digest for me.....
"Hamza shattered my heart in million of piece's just like a broken mirror, how dare he mama? How dare he. why mom why it happened to me ? was I really not his level type was there any fault in me....was I really not worthy of love from the start?"
I cried whole heartily while still sitting in that position.
"You are worthy of everything my sherni!! Just be patient and trust Allah for Everything...."
That voice pentrated my mind once again with its sweet yet warm comforting wrapping me in peace.
I want her here with me, wishing nothing more to hug her tightly and complain all the things happeningto me like a child giving a tantrum.
As I slowly opened my swollen eyes and blinked rapidly, I exerted the strength of my hands to lift my body and confront the girl who was crumbling like a helpless child. Fixing my gaze upon my own lifeless reflection, I observed my soul staring back at me. I reached out and turned on the tap, allowing the water to collect in my palms before splashing it onto my face. The refreshing coolness of the water soothed my previously weary skin, bringing a sense of contentment to my heart.
After repeatedly splashing water on my face and regaining composure, I closed the tab and allowed my hands to rest on the marble surface. Reflecting upon myself, I focused my gaze with greater determination. I made a solemn vow to never let tears escape my eyes ever again. I resolved never to shed a tear over a man, and furthermore, I swore never to allow anyone to manipulate me like a leech ever again.
"I hate you for making me love you.
I hate you for ditching me. I hate you for breaking my heart. I hate you for everything. I'm not weak."
Mumbling to myself while hardnening hazel orbs more I let heavy sigh again escaped me this time relaxing me entirely.
After washing my face again to get ride from those puffy eyes i got ready to go continue with my life.
°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°
Exiting the security of my bathroom into a casual dress I closed the door behind me and started to make my way towards my bed to grab my belongings but my breath hitched as soon as my eyes locked with the one's I was trying to run.
There she sat with her arms folded on her chest. Giving me angry stare.
Her brown orbs stare right back with so much anger that I gave a secound thought If to run back to the security of my marble tile room.
"Thinking how I came here?"
Her angry voice laced with hurt and mockery made me stop the running thoughts around my head.
I Furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion as to what was she trying to imply on my innocent self as to it should be another way around but sudden realization dawned in my mind
"Oh fuck-"
"Exactly. Oh fuck."
Standing up angrily she started to make her way towards me.
Where as I stood lip tight not being able to defend myself even though I shouldn't have left her behind in my broken state
So oh Fuck two times.
"How could you inaya?"
" I though we were best friends, sisters never to felt apart and you did the exact opposite of it-like really was the only thing you could come up with. You could have taken a knife and stabbed me in heart and I would love that more than that style of yours"
Sighing for the hundred time in the morning, I mumbled "sorry"
"Uh-Sorry ...what? That's it.?"
"What do you want? Lick your shoes, pray your mighty self after what I witness I guess that would be the wise decision for me to do"
Scoffing unlady like she glared at me.
"Why the fuck are you being angry with me ? That wasn't my fault I reject-
Rising my hand I stopped her midsentence
"Look alizay I'm already going through alot and to be honest I really don't want to argue you early in the morning so let's just behave like it never happened."
Giving me a dissaponted stare she made her way back to the door to exit my room.
"Thanks to you I had I explained Baba that you were not feeling well indicating you were on your monthly periods so Baba told me to tell you take a day off from hospital."
Shaking my head at my rudness towards her I just made my way towards my bed and grabbed my belongings. Unlocking my phone I stare at the screen.
Several missed calls from 'hamza♡' showed on notification bar along with many msgs making me scowl in displeasure.
'Fuck you'
Opening his contact I directly tabed the blocked button and felt peace in my heart along with my mind.
Step number 1 done.
°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°
"Oh you're up there, alizay told me you weren't feeling good enough and came early ?"
Stepping the last stair I heard Babas voice question me, making me glance at him with a forced smile
"Ji Baba my body was aching and bad headache nothing important for you to worry. Just take care of yourself ok?"
Smiling I gave him a hug which he replied by placing a peck on my forehead.
"Baba today I'll be late so be sure to let alizay know"
" I would say take a rest but afforded your duty comes first"
Smiling at him I made my way towards the door.
°♡°♡°♡°♡°♡°
Entering the city hospital, I was greeted by the pristine white walls adorned with informative charts and diet posters. Along the walls, benches were placed for individuals to patiently wait for their turn. Numerous rooms were lined on both sides, each with a number plate on its wooden door.
As I made my way through the room, I reached room 243, also known as the staff room.
"Good morning, Dr. Inya," my boss's stoic voice startled me, causing me to look up and meet his piercing gaze.
My boss, who was in his late 50s, had a appearance that easily revealed his age. His grumpy nose held his glasses firmly, while his lips were always set in a thin line. The excess weight he carried seemed to accumulate in his stomach, giving him the appearance of being five months pregnant.
"What a way to start the day," I thought to myself. "My luck is truly terrible."
"Good morning, sir," I replied politely, offering a small smile as I stepped further into the room.
"Dr. Inaya, you're late as always," he remarked, glancing at his wristwatch and then directing his stern gaze back at me.
"Well, sir, I'm truly sorry... there was heavy traffic, you know," I mumbled quietly, hoping he would believe my excuse.
Shaking his head in disbelief, he continued in his stoic voice, "Dr. Inaya, I came here to inform you about some arrangements made by the higher-ups. You have been selected for a field trip along with other intern doctors to gain future experience. We are scheduled to leave for London in two days, so please clear your schedule and inform your parents. Hopefully, there won't be any complications."
The news left me speechless. Wow.
"There is an event organized by the Pediatric Cancer Health Organization, and several billionaires will be attending to donate money. We have been given the opportunity to organize this event, which is why half of our staff, including you, will be going," Dr. Aslam explained, looking at me expectantly. I nodded along, silently urging him to finish and leave. I understood now. Shoo.
"Make sure you submit your passport and other important documents by tomorrow. Have a nice day."
As he uttered those words, he strolled by me, causing a wide grin to spread across my face. I couldn't help but steal a quick glance at Ramsha, my coworker, who reciprocated with a playful wink and mirrored my elated expression.
It seems my life has been filled with quite a bit of excitement lately. Hopefully, I won't encounter any further dramatic episodes in the days to come.