A/N: I know I said Rafe would be different in this book, but it's kind of hard to paint his character in a different way. I can't figure out how to portray him in a good light and still have important plot points work out, so I will keep him closer to how he is in the series.
⚠️ tw: sexual assault/harassment
I turn around and find Pope staring back at me.
"Pope?" I say, surprised.
"Where were you?" Pope questions. I walk into the kitchen, away form the bathroom that Rafe was currently hiding in, praying Pope didn't see anything.
"Are the others here?" I ask, ignoring his previous question.
"No, just me." He says, "Kiara's working. JB and JJ went back to the Chateau earlier to grab some more beers, then drank half of them and were too drunk to drive back over here." He says, rolling his eyes, obviously annoyed at the pair.
"No offense Pope, I'm glad you're here I haven't seen you in a while," I say, briefly hugging him, "but, why are you here?" I finish, laughing a little.
"JJ said you were better, so John B said we should surprise you with having a movie night here. But when we got here you weren't here. John's not happy, by the way, he thought you were staying in tonight."
"Well John's not my dad." I fight back.
"Don't be like that, Vienna. He's not your dad, but he's pretty much your brother. He's the closest thing you have to family and you know it."
"But I'm not a baby, Pope! We're the same age. I should be able to go out and make my own choices."
"I'm not disagreeing with that, V. But you have to see it from his side. You've been having a hard time and locked yourself in here for a week, he's just worried." He explains, calming his voice. "He just wanted to check on you and you weren't where you said you'd be. I've never seen him be so overprotective before." He laughs a little, lightening the mood slightly.
"Yeah, I know. He's always been like that with me. But now, with his dad and my parents and everything, I can tell he feels a need to keep me protected or whatever." I say, feeling a little guilty for worrying him so much. I'm so used to being destructive and reckless with no repercussions, I guess that stopped now.
"So where were you?" He asks again.
"Pope, please don't tell him you saw me, please. Just say you were tired of waiting for me and went home. I promise I'll never do this again. You can even take my car!" I rush out, handing him my car keys off the counter.
Pope contemplates my words for a minute, "Fine." He says, taking the keys. I get excited, and hug him again, thanking him. "But only if you explain to John where you were." He says, which I sigh to. "Tomorrow, Vienna. You said you'd be there tomorrow morning so you better be. Explain it to him first thing when you wake up or I will."
"You don't even know what happened, Pope. What would you say to him?" I say, shaking my head as Pope makes his way to the door.
"I'd tell him what happened" he repeats, now standing in the doorway, "That you came home drunk at 1 am with Rafe Cameron." He speaks, shutting the door before I could respond.
"Well fuck." I mutter, running a hand through my hair.
"Since when do you know the Pouges," Rafe scoffs, "and why do they care so much?" Rafe questions, coming out of the bathroom, obviously eavesdropping on Pope and I's conversation. He takes a seat on the couch.
"Since when do you care?" I say, smiling at him, moving to straddle his waist, hoping he'd just shut up, forget it happened, and stop asking questions.
He pushes me back, keeping a firm grip on my hips, enough to keep my face away from his, pulling an annoyed look into his face. "Don't do that, Vienna. Why was Pope Heyward waiting for you to get home?" He questions, "and why did he say John B was your brother?" He adds.
I scoff at him, "Rafe, you've never asked questions before why are you starting now?"
"Because I don't want the girl I'm fucking to be hanging around dirty pouges." He spats in a harsh tone. "You hang around trash, Vienna, you get dirty."
I stare at him in disbelief, "get the fuck out of my house." I speak, getting off of him and backing away.
"I'm just trying to help you, Vienna." He says, laughing slightly. "You know your friend, JJ held a gun to my boy's head not even three weeks ago?" He speaks, narrowing his eyes at me skeptically.
"JJ did that?" I ask, in a quiet voice, unsure of the boy I thought I knew.
"That's not even the worst of the shit they've done, Vienna. I don't know how much you think you know about these guys, but obviously you don't know much." He speaks through gritted teeth, getting closer to my face until he's right up in it, "John B stole from my father. After my father gave him a job, overpaid him, and got DCS off his ass. Kiara's called the cops on my sister for no reason, just trying to get her arrested. They all break laws all the time, they're reckless and bad people. Is that really who you want to be associated with, Vienna?"
I find myself looking down to my feet, like a guilty dog who just got yelled at by their owner. Rafe puts a hand under my chin and brings my eyes to meet his.
"I asked you a question, answer it." He seethes.
"But John is the only family I have left."
"You never mentioned him once last year, Vienna. If you knew him when you were younger or something, trust me, it's not the same John B." Rafe says.
I don't know what to think or do. The alcohol clouding my brain isn't helping me. I know deep down I shouldn't trust Rafe. But on the other hand, I don't see smugglers and cops chasing after him.
I know I have to see John tomorrow, I know I can't turn my back on him.
Rafe breaks my thoughts by kissing me, sealing my fate for the night. He keeps his lips on mine as he walks me up the stairs and into my bedroom.
As we progress, I know where this is leading and I know I don't want it.
I can't be destructive anymore.
If John, or even JJ, knew about this, they would hate me.
"Rafe, no." I speak, pushing him away.
He doesn't listen, he keeps his lips on mine and his hands on my body.
"Rafe, stop. I don't want to right now."
"Come on, Vienna." He says, stroking my cheekbone and planting a kiss on it. "I've missed you. I know you missed me too. We need this," I feel his lips reconnect to my neck, sucking, surely leaving marks.
Suddenly I feel disgusting.
"Rafe, get the fuck off of me!" I yell, attempting to push him off of me, but he doesn't budge.
He continues to attack my neck with his lips. I feel his hand creep it's way to my inner thigh, gripping it hard.
I start to buck my hips and kick my legs, trying to free myself from him. He grabs my hips and slams them down. His hands hold me down so strongly I know they will leave bruises.
I let tears fall, feeling defenseless and helpless.
When Rafe sees me crying, a look of shock takes over his face.
He doesn't say anything, all he does is get up and walk out of my room. I hear the front door shut and start sobbing.
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I woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache. I try to forget the events of last night, but it's hard to, knowing that if I don't go to John's and speak to him, Pope will tell my story for me, and I didn't want that.
I made my way downstairs and chugged some Pedialyte, to rehydrate, then popped 3 Advil into my mouth and used the rest of the drink to down those.
I decided to skip breakfast, due to my weak stomach, and made my way to John's.
______________
I pulled the porch door open, entering the house, while mentally preparing myself for however John was going to react.
I walked in the door and saw that only JJ and John were there. Pope must have already gone home. I prayed he didn't already rat me out.
John barely met my eye as he spoke, "you have a lot of explaining to do. Sit down." I nodded and listened, sitting down on the couch, next to JJ, looking into my hands.
"So," John spoke up again, standing in front of me "After telling me you were staying in, where did you go? Because you sure as hell weren't home."
"Don't get all over protective, John it's not like you're my—"
"—Don't even finish that sentence, Vienna." John said, snapping his head toward me, catching me off guard.
"Don't fucking sit there and say 'you're not my dad' or 'you're not my brother'." He mocked, putting air quotes around the phrases, "Not when we are both well-fucking aware we have no one but each other. As far as I'm concerned I am your family and you're mine. I give a shit where you are and you have no right to lie to me about that." He screamed. He'd never raised his voice at me, or even spoken a rude word in my direction.
"Your father asked me to watch after you. His dying fucking wish was for me to keep you safe. That's what I plan to do, but I need you to work with me, V." He spoke, lowering his voice back to a speaking level. "So I'll ask again, where were you?"
"I went out." I said, still looking down at my hands. I felt disgusting about the whole situation. I didn't have the strength to speak about it, much less tell John.
I did see John as a brother, I understood why he was reacting this way. I probably would've too if I were in his shoes. I didn't have the guts to bring up what happened.
"You went out." He repeated, letting out a breathy laugh, almost like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"John, it's not like I deliberately lied to you!" I argued back.
"Really? Because that's how it seems."
"I did want to stay in! I took a shower and I got bored, which lead to me putting on an old party dress and doing my makeup, for fun! Then I started drinking and listening to music." I explained.
"Okay, I get that. Where's the part when we show up to check on you and you aren't there?"
"Then I got bored and went out on a walk." I lied through my teeth. "I sat on the hawks nest for a while and wrote songs, that's all I did. I didn't know you'd show up looking for me. I'm sorry I scared you."
John let out a long exhale, pinching the bridge of his nose, before taking me into a hug. "It's okay, Vienna." He spoke, kissing the top of my head. "You're all I have left, I need you here. No more not knowing where you are, okay? Leave a note or something."
"I will, John. I promise."
He pulled out of the hug, apologizes for yelling at me, then kisses my head. He takes a seat between JJ and I on the couch.
I stand up, "well boys, I'm hungover from my little adventure last night, so I am off to nap." I say, hoping to sound convincing. In reality I was seconds away from crying. I wanted to scream out what happened John and JJ, but I couldn't find the courage. I head into John's room and shutting the door. Letting his scent calm me, pretending I was in a bear hug from him.
As soon as my face his the pillow tears start falling.
The tears continued to fall as my thoughts consumed me. I felt like a fuck up. I felt disgusting. I knew I had bruises on my neck, thigh and hips. I knew he left hickeys. However I didn't need those there to feel like he was still on top of me. I felt like he was everywhere.
I felt scared in my own body.
Soon enough, I tired myself out, and drifted to sleep.
_________________
"Yo, Vienna." I hear from the doorway.
"Hmm" I hum in response, keeping my head stuffed in the pillow.
"Since you're back JB wants to start the Merchant search up again," JJ speaks from the doorway. "You coming?"
"No thanks, JJ." I huff, "I'm still not feeling too good I think I'll stay here for this one. You guys go."
"Don't sneak out on us" He jokes, shutting the door. I feel the disgust come back, I know he meant it as a joke but I can't ignore the way my stomach dropped, as I was brought back into reality.
I lay in bed until I hear the van pull out, then get out of bed and head the the kitchen.
Only way to cure a hangover this bad is to keep drinking. Plus, I prayed that if I got drunk enough, the feeling of him on top of me would leave me. Maybe I could forget it all.
I reach for the vodka, mixing it with some soda that John had sitting out.
As I turn around, with the cup in my mouth, mid sip, I'm met with JJ's chest.
He doesn't speak, he looks down at me disappointed. He takes the cup from my mouth, then walks past me and pours it down the drain.
"Hey, I was drinking that!" I say, trying to stop him.
"Yeah, that's the problem. What's with all the drinking, Enna? It's 1 pm." He shakes his head , I debate bringing up the fact he constantly drinks beer at 10 am, but I don't feel like starting an argument. My head can't handle yelling right now.
"Trying to cure my hangover." I shrug.
He scoffs, "Good try, V. I'm not letting you drink."
"Good thing you're not in charge of me!" I sing out, reaching for the vodka bottle. JJ sweeps me over his shoulder, walking me out of the kitchen and away from the liquor. I try to fight his hold, but he's much stronger than I am, and it's no use.
I feel panic strike me, my mind instantly teleporting back to last night.
"JJ, let go! Let go! Stop, please! Please put me down! JJ, Get off!" I cry out.
He hears the panic in my voice, and instantly drops me onto John's bed, which we were passing when I started freaking out. I shake, remembering the feeling of Rafe on me last night.
"Vienna? Love, what's wrong?" He speaks in a soft voice, rubbing my back. I flinch away from his touch. "Vienna, what did I do?"
"No, no, JJ it isn't you." I rush out, not wanting him to feel guilty. I wipe the tears from my face and plaster a smile on my face, hoping to sell my lie, "I thought you were going to drop me. I just got scared."
He doesn't buy it, I read the look on his face;
Pure anger.
But he isn't looking at my face, his eyes are glued to my neck.
"Vienna." He seethes, keeping his eyes trained on my neck, "what the fuck is this." He says, gripping my jaw with one hand and pushing it to the left, examining my neck with the other.
"Who gave you these, Vienna?" He says, keeping his eyes on mine, searching for any kind of answer in them.
"I want a name, Vienna, now." He snaps, getting off of me and standing over me dominantly as I sit on the bed, cowering to his anger.
"Rafe Cameron." I mutter, not looking him in his face.
"Tell me you did not just say what I think you did."
I stay silent, which to him becomes an answer in itself. Signaling that he did hear correctly, the hickeys he found on my neck were from Rafe Cameron.
"Did you fuck him?" He asks.
Again, I don't respond, feeling disgusting for what has happened. I feel as if I tell JJ, it becomes all too real.
"Did you fuck him, Vienna?" JJ now yells
"No, JJ." I speak, keeping my eyes trained on my lap.
"Don't lie, Vienna. You can't even look me in the face and say that." He scoffs, laughing in disbelief.
"JJ, please don't be mad right now." I start tearing up again, "Please. I don't want to talk about it."
"Wait." I watch as JJ puts the pieces together. "Did he hurt you?" JJ whispers, like he's afraid to ask it, or afraid to hear the answer.
I nod, letting the sobs consume me. JJ is instantly around me. Now, however, I feel comforted in his arms, not scared.
I find myself sobbing into JJ again, like I did before.
But I realize, I don't care. I don't want anyone else here. I want him.
I hold onto JJ as I sob, telling him different things as I do.
I talk through my sobs, telling JJ that he held me down and didn't let me go until I started crying.
JJ shushes me, telling me to talk about it when I'm in a better headset, and that I don't have to explain anything to him, he's going to be here regardless.
He rubs my back and holds me tight as I let out the pain that Rafe has caused.
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