ABBY's POV
"You know, Abby Unnie.. I'm really thankful because she works hard for our songs everyday," Yuqi said. "And although I'm having some difficulties recently, I've been trying hard to keep it from everyone, especially from her."
So it's been like this for her, huh? And the fact that it doesn't even show on her face makes it scarier.
I held her hand in the hopes of comforting her. "You can always talk to me if you need someone."
"But how could I, Abby Unnie? I know how much you're dealing with right now and I don't want to add up to your problems.."
"Hey, what?" I paused for a few seconds, refusing to believe what I just heard. "There's always going to be a place for you in my life, so don't say that. We're almost like a family, aren't we?"
"A family.." she smiled a little to herself. "Thank you.."
Although I'm not sure if she should even thank me at this point, I just accepted it. "So if you're ready to talk about it right now, I'm more than willing to listen.."
Her eyes seemed the same way they were earlier, filled with an overwhelming amount of sadness that even smiling couldn't hide it. "It's the fact that she won't see me."
"Won't see you?"
"Her eyes are always directed to the future of our group, she always puts career on top of anything else," her voice was really sincere at the moment. "It's a good thing.. but will she even have time to look at me in the same way? I'm sure this isn't just going to work out.. although I'm afraid that I might not be able to keep it all to myself soon."
This is a new side of Yuqi that I haven't seen. How it was for her to love someone wholeheartedly.. I guess she was having a constant battle with her feelings all this time.
"W-Were you planning on confessing to her then?" I asked.
Her eyes immediately widened in surprise. "W-What?! I don't know.." she sighed heavily. "It's just.. every moment that we spend together reminds me of how I could never be with her the way that I want us to be. That I should've done something to remove my feelings for her.. but instead, I allowed it to progress for so long and now there's no turning back."
"You should tell her about it on your own before you end up spilling it at the wrong time," I replied. "After all, you never really know how she feels about you. Although it means putting what you have with her right now at risk, it's definitely better if you get your feelings across correctly."
"But I don't want to lose what I have with her now, Abby Unnie.."
"I'm sure nobody does, but if there's one thing that I've learned from Soyeon.. it's that we don't control our hearts, so falling in love with someone isn't supposed to be our fault," I replied. "I'm sure she's going to understand that at least."
"Do you think she would even look at me the same way?"
"You're amazing, Song Yuqi. Many people would do everything just to be with you, but I can't promise you anything. Although I'd say that it's not completely impossible."
After all, Soyeon told me that she used to like me before. She's at least into girls.
"Thank you!" she suddenly pulled me into a hug. "I love you, Abby Unnie!"
I was a little surprised with her affection, but of course I hugged her back. "Come on, I didn't do anything."
"You did, you gave me the courage to tell her about it soon."
"I-I'm glad I did," I patted her back before pulling away from her. "I hope everything works out well for the both of you. I wish you all the best."
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It's currently 5pm. Yuqi went back to her room an hour ago, so I decided to make something in the kitchen and check Shuhua's condition.
"Yeh Shuhua?" I knocked on her door, but she didn't answer.
The door was unlocked, so I just entered with a tray containing a bowl of soup and a glass of water. I saw her lying on the bed, underneath the comforters. She looked weak.
I carefully placed the tray on her bedside table when she suddenly opened her eyes.
"Abby Unnie?"
I immediately smiled at her. "Hey, how are you feeling?"
"I'm a bit dizzy.. but it's not that bad," she replied in a low voice.
I placed the back of my hand on her forehead and just felt enough warmth. She didn't have the usual fever burn, but just to be sure, I still decided to check her temperature with a thermometer and saw that she's currently at 37.3C.
"You have a slight fever," I worriedly said to her as I sat beside her. "You were okay earlier, so what happened?"
"I'm not sure, but maybe the exhaustion from last night's schedule is kicking in late.. I sweated a lot and forgot to change my shirt," she explained. "You don't have to worry about me though Abby Unnie, I think I just need to rest.."
I sighed. "Come on, I told you to take care of yourself.. I'm always worried about you the most."
Her eyes brightened up a little after hearing that. "R-Really?"
I nodded. "Of course."
She's the youngest member and it definitely always feels like I should protect her at all cost.
"You know Abby Unnie, except for the members, you're the closest person that I have to family right now.." she said. "I tend to get homesick a lot, but you helped me to overcome it."
Her whole family lives in Taiwan, maybe this is why I've always felt like she's my little sister inside the dorm.. because we share the same longingness for family. I'm sure she misses them as much as I miss mine.
"I feel the same way. You're my only family.. Yeh Shuhua. This group is all I have right now," I replied.
I'm an orphan with no close relatives. I could be just one of the people that they consider important to them, but to me.. they're all I have right now. I'm living my life for them.. not just because I needed money to survive anymore, but because I love them.
Things were becoming a bit depressing for the both of us, so I decided to change the topic. "Hey, you should definitely get better and eat up."
I took the soup from the tray and scooped some of it with a spoon. I wanted to feed her, but she just stared at it without saying anything.
"W-What is it?" I confusedly asked. "Does the soup look bad?"
She immediately shook her head and smiled. "It's not that, Abby Unnie.. I'm just happy that your concern never changed for us, even after everything that has happened between the group, you're still taking care of me like how you would've done when you first came into the dorm."
"Of course.." I couldn't help but feel emotional with what she said. We've really been through a lot. "I'm your dorm keeper, Yeh Shuhua. Everything inside the dorm is in my care, including all of you."
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Unnie," she slowly pulled me into a hug. "Who's going to take care of me all the time if not you?"
I immediately placed the spoon back to the tray to avoid making a mess. "Hey.. that's why you suddenly can't get sick like this anymore. Your Unnies might not be available every time. What if one day they suddenly can't attend to your needs?"
"I'll be fine as long as you're going to stay by my side, Abby Unnie.." she pulled away from me and gave me an expectant look. "You will, right?"
I wish I could, but I don't think I'll be around you anymore, Shuhua-yah.
I just bit my lip, unable to answer the simple question. Tears suddenly started forming on the corner of my eyes, so I had to look away from her.
I can't cry right now.. But after talking to her in that state, how could I even hold it in?
She had the eyes of a deer.. They were bright, but at the same time, her weakness was piercing right through them. She trusts me a lot to be there for her and I'm afraid that I won't be able to do so anymore.
"Abby Unnie, what's wrong?" she gently held my face and turned it back to her. "A-Are you crying?"
I quickly shook my head. "No, it's just.. my eyes are all watery because it's getting late.."
Luckily, she seemed to take up my answer. "You should rest too, then.. But before that, I want to tell you something else."
"What is it?"
"You're now my second favorite person. Soojin Unnie doesn't take care of me anymore, but I'm lucky because I have you.."
"Hey, I'm sure Soojin is just busy. She will take care of you when she has the chance.."
"Will she?" she sighed heavily. "Miyeon Unnie visited me before you came here. Soojin Unnie is the only person inside the dorm who didn't even ask how I was today."
"I'm sure she has her reasons.." I tried defending Soojin as much as I could, but there's really not a lot of things to say.
"She loves you, Abby Unnie. You're the only one that she sees all the time.. and I've accepted that part already. I'm just happy that she's getting better these days."
Hearing her say that suddenly reminded me of something. "Hey, about the text messages.. should I tell her about it?"
"No.. what for?" she immediately replied. "You'll get in trouble for letting me use your account.."
"But I just don't find it right for her to think that it was me who sent all those encouraging messages while she was having a hard time," I held her hand firm as I tried convincing her. "You deserve to get the credit for it."
"Seeing her doing well is enough, so please don't tell her Unnie," she smiled a little. "Plus, I have you already. You just have to promise me not to leave."
Promise her.. not to leave?
It was at that moment when she successfully pulled the last string of my composure as tears started falling on my cheeks. "I-I can't.."
"Huh?" she started looking nervous. "B-But why not?"
"Because nothing is ever certain in the future.."
"A-Are you crying because you're scared of our future, Abby Unnie?" she confusedly asked.
I just nodded, not really wanting to elaborate on the topic.
She took a deep breath and started wiping my tears with her palms. "I-I thought it was something else.. but then, at least promise not to treat me differently in the future."
..What?
"No matter what happens, you can't forget about me, Unnie.." she suddenly grabbed my hand and locked our little fingers, doing the traditional pinky swear. "Now the promise is sealed."
My hand was shaking as I emptily looked at it.
I didn't want to promise her anything, because promises are made to be broken..
She gave me one of the purest smiles that I've ever seen as she carefully grabbed the bowl of soup and spoon that I brought earlier. "I'm going to eat now and get better, so you won't have to worry about me and start worrying about yourself instead, Abby Unnie."
Tears fell on my cheeks even more after hearing that, but I just forced a smile and tried my best to get over it.
She clearly did nothing wrong to me.. but she's getting dragged into my problems with the rest of the members.
After that, I decided to say goodnight to her as I finally stood up and carried the tray with me. But when I was about to leave her room, I noticed that the door was slightly open..
Was someone here?
Or maybe.. I just forgot to close it properly earlier. I decided not to think much about it, but as soon as I stepped out, I saw someone walking towards her room.
I've been with them enough to recognize their backs. It's definitely Seo Soojin's and although I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, I couldn't help but wonder if she had heard anything.
On my way downstairs, I passed by their mini kitchen on the same floor and saw Miyeon drinking some wine on the counter.
She greeted me, so I stopped by. "Hey, Abby."
"Hey.." I smiled a little at her as I placed the tray beside her drink. "What's with the wine?"
"Oh it's just to calm my mind.. I've been really busy and I rarely see you around. I'm glad that you're here right now.."
"Yeah, me too," I replied.
Although she always looked beautiful, it was really different when the kitchen lights shone directly on her face. Not even one could argue that her beauty is on a different level.
"I missed you, Abby," she said. "Being with you and doing something together.. I miss it."
I didn't reply because I wasn't sure of what to say and I didn't want to hurt her unintentionally with my words.
She took a sip of her wine and continued speaking. "I need to buy a new dress for the press conference of my drama in a few days.. I'd usually ask you to come with me, but I guess you won't do it anymore, huh?"
"What do you mean?"
We've been fine recently.. although I have to admit that the whole fight of the members did bring the both of us back to square one, where it was awkward and uncomfortable to be with each other alone.
"It's just a lot of things happened between us, so I'd totally understand if you decline my offer," she explained.
But thinking about it, it could be my last chance to shop around the mall with her alone.
"You know what, let's just go," I said upon finally deciding. "What time do you need me tomorrow?"
"W-Wait, really?" She seemed surprised.
"Yeah."
Her lips curved into a little smile, but I could see how careful she was while talking to me. "I mean I don't want you to think that I'm forcing myself to you or something.."
I shook my head. "It's okay.. I guess I wanted to go somewhere too."
She couldn't hide how happy she was at the moment. "Then we'll go out early in the morning, around 8am."
"Alright then."
After that, she immediately poured another glass of wine and handed it to me. "For old times' sake?"
I smiled at her. "For old times' sake."
To be continued..
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