"So you two are shagging?"
Sirius ear went red and he couldn't tell if this annoyed him or not.
"Not exactly, we've done some stuff-" Sirius rambled fiddling with his broom as they walked down to the pitch. No one else was down yet as James wanted to have a warm up fly before his first practice as team captain "You are missing the point."
"Oh I most defiantly am" James said "Because to me it sounds like you are dating"
"We aren't."
"Then I am definitely missing the point because yes you are" James said.
Sirius hadn't known what he excepted from trying to explain what he was doing too James. James was a sappy sod always had been. He'd pined after one girl since he was 11 and now he was finally close to getting her he was killing himself trying to pull off romantic surprises and dying to have her as his girlfriend. This just wasn't how him and Remus were.
"No we aren't" Sirius said with a shrug.
"But you fancy him!" James said as if annoyed "It's not just like you want a snog. right?"
"Of course not, I mean it's Moony I'd never-" Sirius said now feeling a heat on the back of his neck which he couldn't tell if was from anger or embarrassment "Of course I fancy him."
"So why aren't you two just dating properly, this whole 'friends with benefits' sounds ridiculous to me." James said like his opinion was fact.
"Well maybe he doesn't fancy me." Sirius replied bitterly.
"Oh merlin not this again." James said "I've only known about you and Moony for 3 minutes and I'm already sick of the Moody Moony and Pouting Padfoot love story."
"Bugger off" Sirius said but he was grateful that the two had made it to the Quidditch pitch so they could start flying and stop talking.
He was glad he'd said it though. Even if James didn't understand. It was like he'd set free a cage full of pixies which had been rattling around in his brain. Telling James made space for him to think again.
James was a natural as team captain. Despite the fact he had been branded a misfit as soon as he got to Hogwarts he managed to command respect on the pitch. And even with the lost of their captain it was looking like Gryffindor had a good chance at winning the cup.
Halfway through the practice he saw that Remus and Lily had come down and were watching the practice while also it seems quizzing each other on History of Magic. A wave of fondness rushed over him as he thought about both James' and him having their people come to watch them fly. But he realized that wasn't what was happening, and his heart sunk again.
As practice ended James flew down and landed gracefully in the stands next to Lily kissing her cheek in place of a hello. She pushed him off saying he was sweaty but it was all done in such a domestic and fond way. Sirius landed more awkwardly near Remus, and didn't get to kiss his cheek.
"Hiya Moony" He did say cheerifully trying to mask any confusion or sadness he was feeling.
"Hi" Remus mumbled.
James raced through the shower and changing processes, clearly excited to get some time alone with Lily before the Marauders meeting they had scheduled for later. Sirius didn't complain as James raced off because it left him and Remus alone in the change room.
"I still have to shower" Sirius said with a smirk.
It was a little rougher then they were used to perhaps because Sirius was feeling confused and desperate. Any physical connection with Remus seemed to defog his brain and sustain him. So as he pulled Remus' into the shower he finally started to feel like he could understand himself. Ultimately Sirius was just glad they didn't slip on the on wet tile in the shower.
Even after they finished they had their hands all over each other. Remus' washed Sirius' hair with an intense concentration that made Sirius laugh.
"Blimey Moony it's just hair"
Sirius ran his hand down the length of Remus' body as he pulled his warm light brown sweater over him.
"Jesus Padfoot can you move any slower."
Finally Remus tucked a hat over Sirius damp hair. Gently moving a couple of strands out of his face before giving him a quick kiss.
Sirius didn't say anything.
Remus kept a hand on Sirius waist right up until they exited the changing room and began to head back to the castle for dinner. Then they stood a couple feet a part and talked in a way that no one would find odd but to them it felt stiff.
"So how'd James take it?" Remus asked. Sirius still couldn't tell if it really bothered Remus, but he seemed to understand that it was important to him.
"Good I guess" Sirius said still trying to gauge James' response "He was confused by it."
A naive part of Sirius hoped Remus would express all his feelings due to James confusion but he just hmmed.
"Why did you call this meeting?" Remus asked as they walked into the entrance hall.
It had been awhile since they had had an official meeting of the Marauders. They of course where often together but there were certain unspoken rules for it to be an official meeting. It had to be for planning, usually a prank. It had to be the four of them and only the four of them. This rule had to be reenforced with James as he wanted to bring Lily. It had to be a secret, and it had to be outside of the dormitory. The last one had always seemed pointless to Remus and Peter as the four of them could easily meet in their shared dormitory in secret. But it was Sirius and James' favourite part, everything was better when it was a challenge.
"You cannot snog me into giving away all my secrets." Sirius said smirking at the shade of pink Remus turned and Sirius heard him muttered something along the lines of 'we will see about that' as they entered the great hall.
James and Lily arrived at dinner only a few moments after them. Lily kept subconsciously smoothing her hair which caused Sirius to snicker a little but stopped after a rather painful elbow to ribs by James.
"Remy fancy studying Charms together after dinner. I'm way behind the banishing charm and it is way easier to practice with a partner." Lily asked as dessert appeared on the table in front of them. Lily was the only person who got away with calling Remus Remy. James had tried once in third year, and even if Sirius said he look quiet good without eyebrows he didn't fancy doing it again anytime soon.
Sirius let out a very rude snort "Remus had that charm down in third year, he doesn't need any practice."
This time he had two elbows to the ribs as both James and Remus seemed annoyed by this. He scowled first at James, and then at Remus but couldn't but smile at how bashful he looked.
"I would love to Lil but I can't today. Tomorrow? I have a free after lunch." Remus said kindly and luckily this placated her. She nodded and she didn't ask any follow up questions about Remus' plans.
"You need to get her to go." Sirius whispered to James as they headed out of the hall after dinner "This is official Marauders business."
James looked devastated at this though Sirius found the whole thing kind of funny. James had spent years trailing after Lily trying to get her attention and now the one night he needed her gone was the day she finally wanted to hand around.
"I'll do it." Remus whispered clearly having more sympathy for James than Sirius did.
"Oi Lil" He said darting across the group and linking a friendly arm with Lily's. "Can you do my patrol tonight, please. Lukas is suppose to do it with me and I really can't be bothered. I'll do one of yours next week and help you with your charms"
Sirius seemed to not be the only one who was made useless by Remus stupidly big eyes cause she just sighed.
"Fine, but I don't know why you are suddenly interested in getting your patrol covers you have bunked off the last 5." Lily said.
"Minnies on me about it." Remus said and Sirius wondered if this is true. He'd never seen Remus getting a telling off, but he was very good at weaseling his way out of things.
Luckily it worked and soon Lily gave James a quick kiss on the cheek and went to start Remus' rounds. The four friends then gathered the cloak and map and headed out.
"astronomy tower?" Remus suggested but Peter groaned.
"Too cold"
"How about the shack!" Sirius suggested as he always did. He knew it was too far, and too much work to gain entry into but it was always such an adventure.
'Not the shack." Remus said with a finality in his tone. He eyed the map "There has got to be an empty classroom somewhere."
Sirius peered over the map getting very close to Remus in the process.
"Here East Wing second floor, Lily and Lukas just passed there so it should be quiet for a good hour." Sirius said placing his finger over a classroom a story up. This seemed to settle it and soon the group was up the stairs and heading into the room.
"Okay Padfoot" James said jumping up onto an empty desk with ease. "Enough with the secrecy. What is going on?"
I just grinned maliciously having every intention to drag this out with theatrics. He shook his hair and jumped up on to the table which had everyone rolling their eyes. He might need to find new friends who are still dazzled by his spectacular showmanship.
"Okay Marauders!" He exclaimed and was immediately shhed and reminded it was after curfew. "We have had a wonderful 6 years at Hogwarts" He continued on unperturbed "We have become legends at Hogwarts, Gods even. We have set the record for most detention in a term, we won the Quidditch cup, and lost enough point for Gryffindor to lose to house 3 times over. But as we enter the last couple months in the our second to last year I believe we need to switch tactics."
He fully had everyones attention now. He couldn't tell if it was concern or enthusiasm which he friends were showing but he basked in their attention all the same.
"We need to start thinking of our future"
"Thank Merlin" Remus said beaming "Exams! Newts are only a year away and I haven't once seen you open a book."
"Oh Moony my simple minded friend" This garnered a shove on his leg but he didn't lose steam "Not exams. We have all agreed that after we leave school next year we will be fighting in the war."
Everyone nodded slightly solemn at this.
"And as wonderful as all our beloved professors are I feel there are large gaps in our magical education that need filling."
"Such as?" Peter questioned and Sirius plopped down in one fluid motion next to James.
"I think we need to study more dark magic" James said and the room feel silent. This was not what Sirius was thinking. "We need to understand what we are fighting against. Defensive magic will only get us so far."
"I think he is right" Remus said surprisingly. "I need to know more about werewolves, not just me but all of them and how the magic works, if I am to truly help in this war."
Peter seemed a little hesitant about this "so what you are suggesting is a study group that won't help me pass any of my exams."
"It is not a study group Pete. It's a rebellion, an uprising, A MOVEMENT" Sirius said.
"Okay calm down Karl" Remus said and everyone just looked at him confused "Karl Marxs? Communism? Never mind, you'd love it though."
"Moony's muggle shit aside. I think we need to start meeting weekly. Moons will have to get the books from the restricted section since the rest of us are banned. But we will need lots on all sorts." Padfoot was glad his friends where coming around to the idea.
"Is this just a Marauder's activity?" Peter asked.
"No" James said while Sirius said "Yes"
"Why only us Padfoot, we won't be the only ones fighting after school ends." James said "Other people need training too"
"And by other people you mean Lily." Remus said his voice displaying that he didn't really mind.
"Fine Mrs.Prongs can come but no one else."
The friends stayed for another half an hour and the more they talked the more excited they all became. Remus started to take down the idea on a spare sheet on parchment. Before long they ran out of space, and logically they were aware that it would not be able to cover all of this. Sirius found himself indebted to his friends, not for the first time that they had agreed to his plans. But this felt more important than any plan they had made before.
Lily and Lukas did end up catching them in the end. But to be fair if they were really all that worried about being caught they would have watched the map more carefully. Lily didn't give them detention, just a stern telling off.
"Maybe there is an upside to Prongs and the Prefect." Sirius whispered to Peter who snickered a little as they headed off to the dormitory.
The bedtime routine in their dormitory was becoming more and more like an orchestrated dance. They would take turns brushing their teeth and changing, bid each other a good night, and pull the curtains around their fourposters. Then Pete would start snoring, and as if it was his cue James would slip out of his bed and back down the stairs to see Lily. Then it was Sirius' turn and he climbed out of his fourposter and into Remus'.
"Where do you reckon they go?" Remus asked once Sirius was settled. His head on Remus' chest listening lovingly to the steady pat of Remus' heart.
"Prefects bathroom sometimes, sometimes for walks, if the common room is empty they just sit down there" Sirius said, repeating what James had explained to him a couple hours earlier when he asked. "He does come back every night you are just always asleep."
"Do you hear him?" Remus said his fingers were working in gently circles up and down Sirius' spine.
"Yeah most of the time, he comes back around 2" Sirius said his own fingers fiddling with the fabric of Remus Pyjama shirt.
"2! Merlin Padfoot, you shouldn't be up that late. If you are uncomfortable sleeping here you should sleep in your own bed." Remus said his hands stopping in their tracks. Sirius felt his face flushed and wished he'd stayed quiet.
"I sleep better here" He mumbled turning his face ever so slightly into Remus' chest. "I just like waiting till you go to sleep."
"Creepy." Remus said with a bit of mirth and let his hands continue to run up and down. "It was a good idea."
"What?" Sirius said his eyelids were starting to feel heavy and he wonder if he would be able to stay awake tonight.
"To start studying, and practicing" Remus said and he leant down kissing the top of Sirius' head. "I think there is a lot out there then what the professor are telling us. I can't believe i didn't think of it myself."
"Yes I agree I'm a lot smarter than you" Sirius said and Remus gently swatted his arms.
Remus began to play with his hair, and Sirius had to admit he was a goner, he would never be able to stay awake when everything was so calm. But this was the Marauders dormitory and nothing stayed calm for long. Just as Sirius' eyes were slipping shut, a racket came from the stairwell, and soon the door was being flung open.
"Lily" He heard James voice call "Can't this wait till morning?"
"No" Replied Lily Evan's voice said and suddenly the curtains of Remus' four poster were being yanked at. Luckily Remus had enchanted them to stay shut but the didn't stop Lily from yelling "Open up! I know you're in there"
"Hiya Lily" Remus nervous voice said. "I am um just trying to get some sleep."
Sirius couldn't tell if it was subconscious but Remus' arms were tighting around him pressing Sirius tightly against his chest.
"James told me you lair! Oh my god he is in there right now Sirius you prick!" Lily said. Her voice wasn't overly cruel or angry but she was clearly a little pissed off.
"What is going on" It was Peter's over tried voice this time calling from across the room.
Sirius knew it was time to admit defeat so he weasled his way out of Remus' hands and tore open the curtain. Lily Evans glared at him but he just smiled cheekily.
"Good evening Evans. How can I help you."
"Oh piss off" Lily said turning to look at Remus who was still laying on his back his arm came up to cover his eyes "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what?" Peter asked from across the room.
"Bugger off" James, Lily, and Sirius all said at once.
"I had to hear it from James" She said sitting on the bed clearly having given up on anger but was a little disappointed.
"You told" Sirius said eyeing James who looked down awkwardly.
"She asked if you were annoyed that I kept sneaking out and leaving you and I said I doubt it you were probably with Moony" James said "And then she asked all these follow up question, I didn't have a choice."
"You should have told me" She said pointing a finger at Remus who had moved into a sitting position. Lily was now in between Sirius and Remus so Sirius could not properly see Remus' reaction.
"There is nothing to tell Lil" Remus tried "It isn't like we are dating."
There was painful stab in Sirius' gut like there always was when Remus' reminded him of what their situation was. He looked down hoping no one was looking at him.
"I hate it when James knows more than me" Lily said and the conversation had switched from angrier.
"Well luckily Prongs knows very little. So this is probably the only time that will happen." Remus said nudging Lily a little.
"For the love of Merlin will someone tell me what is going on?" Peter called again.
"In the morning Pete" Remus called and then turn to Lily more gently said "In the morning? You and I can take a walk. I'll tell you everything. Promise"
Lily sighed defeated. "Fine" She muttered "You and your bloody secrets" was the last thing Sirius heard her stay before she exited the room followed quickly by James.
Sirius wondered for a moment, as he sat on the foot of Remus' bed, if he should go back to his own. The whole situation was so uncomfortable he felt he probably should but Remus' voice stopped him before he could move.
"Padfoot?'
"Moony?"
"I sleep better when you are here too."
So Sirius stayed. Laying gently into Remus' warm arms, letting Peter's snores fill up the room, and his own eyes surprisingly quickly began to slip shut.
"Good" he muttered as sleep began to get hold of his brain "Because I don't have any plans of sleeping anywhere else."