Envy, there was envy in my blood.
Not that it was that unusual, but this time it was likely burning through my skin.
How could I be mad at Harry for not being ecstatic for me and Draco, when I was evolving with frustration about him and Romilda?
And romantically, I only loved my Slytherin.
But, my soul belonged to my brother.
He just felt so easily mine, I couldn't bear to lose him. Like the wall of support he was, I knew I could always lean on him when I feared collapsing.
There was no easy way to describe it, I just felt jealous that she would replace me.
"Draco, you will not believe who I ran into this morning!" I exclaimed the moment my figure appeared at the entrance to our room. The fragrance of spicy pimiento and cedarwood hit my nostrils in an instant. Rarely was it, that his lusty perfumes weren't taking over my senses.
"Let me guess," He chuckled slightly, matching my loudness. His hair was wet and he had a flowy flannel shirt on. I almost forgot about my exasperation. "Was it your Gryffindor friends?"
"Indeed!" I spoke while sitting down on the bed beside him. His face turned to me, meeting my eyes. "Will you believe that Harry is serious about seeing Romilda?"
"Oh is he?" Draco's voice calmed, but I was so swirled in my own thoughts, there was no chance for me to notice.
"Yea, like how pathetic is that," I mumbled. "He suddenly just fell in love?"
"Perhaps he did?" My boy asked. "May we not talk about him?"
"It's just that, I don't understand," I continued regardless of Draco's request. "Will she be his favourite person now? Will they actually last long? I merely wonder—"
"Maya, will you stop?" He stood up breaking my sentence as I spoke. "The only pathetic one is you"
"What?" I questioned, standing up after him. My face numbed - confusion reigned among my senses.
"Yeah, he has a girlfriend, who cares? It's not like this idiot would stay alone forever. After all, he was the fucking chosen one," Draco raised his tone. My face paled realising I could only blame myself now.
"I just feel a little envy, that's it," I murmured. And he has most certainly taken it the fallacious way.
"Envy? Oh please." His tongue moved through the lower parts of his mouth with insanity. His jaw clenched. "Why would you envy them? How sick of you." He used a high-raised tone.
"Don't yell," I tried to battle for tranquillity, yet in my core, I already knew I was helpless.
"Me? You came here all torn apart after you realised you don't have your backup plan available anymore" His voice only grew louder. My ears almost bled. Still, I was the one at fault - it was me who caused our argument.
"Malfoy stop! You know damn well there is no such thing," The irritation escaped with my words. My eyes fumed with anger as well now. How could he say such a thing?
However, I did feel guilty,
Almost as if what he just said was veracious...
"Oh do I, now? If he broke up with her would you not take a chance?" He continued ranting. My face drowned in shock. I had to waste a moment, to perceive the intended meaning of his question.
"Of course, I would not. I only love you." I spoke, and my tone forced the assurance to meet with his ears.
"Words, words, words... what is the worth of them?" He asked again while raising his brows with angry amusement. My muscles tensed.
"I've waited for you all this time, I have fought for us, I have sacrificed my friendships, and I am here right now." I continued mentioning.
He must have been delusional if he veraciously doubted my feelings for him.
"Bravo," he clapped for me with irony. "What a heroic person you are."
"Very funny," I rolled my eyes.
"It isn't though," Draco dragged the topic. "Will it ever be just us in this—? Does he have to always ruin it for us?"
"He isn't ruining anything," I spoke with a high-pitched tone. "He is still my best friend, and if you continue speaking poorly about him—"
"You will do what? Huh?" He smirked. "It's not like there is much more than that pretty mouth of yours".
"Excuse me?" I breathed with fury.
"Go cry to him, tell him how awful I am. Go!" He yelled anew. "I bet he'll be glad we have problems!" I remained paralysed with shock. His words stabbed me, I couldn't bear his statement. I didn't know how to respond. "What are you deaf? I said go back to your little friend. Tell him that he won, tell him he can finally have you!" He shouted. My heart raced. My skin felt hot. My head ached already.
"Stop yelling at me!" I answered with firm wrath.
"So it's only okay when you do it?" pure vile spoke as his lips moved. "Fuck Flower, you are so messed up. Why do you always have to piss me off like that? Huh?"
"Draco stop... " I lowered my tone, defenceless, merely wishing to take time back. My eyes reddened.
"The thought of you has kept me alive all this time. The thought of you alone - mine. The thought of you with him might as well kill me!" He voiced with rage. My throat dried out.
"You're not fair..." I gasped. My eyes begged me to water my face but I would not allow such. There were very few tears left in me after the battle — and I was sure I was going to need them in the future at some point.
I couldn't seem to be able to maintain happiness, anyway...
"You know how fucking easier my life would have been if it wasn't for you? For all the mess you cause?" He breathed as a corner of his mouth raised with pity.
And at that same moment, I involuntarily covered my mouth with my hands.
God, I had the most vexing gag reflex ever.
In an instant, I got up and rushed to the bathroom. Seconds later, I was already kneeling before the toilet and throwing up. Everything around me swirled. My body felt heavier than it usually does.
I have thrown up only twice in my life before.
This was suspicious...
Draco's POV
I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it! - I cried out in my soul.
Guilt, there was guilt in my blood.
I was mad at her, I was. But that gave me no right to be this aggressive, to shout, to say what I have said... I only hoped that one day my issues with anger could just magically disappear.
Though, in our world anything was possible.
Every cell of mine froze when she ran into the bathroom. I quickly went after her, realising she was throwing up.
"Maya? What's happening?" I asked, but comprehensibly she could not respond. With one hand I grasped all of her thick hair and with another, I caressed her back.
I hated to see her this way.
I also hated not knowing how to prevent such, how to help.
It's been a good fifteen minutes that felt like way longer... way too long.
She was finally done.
Now I was the one with tears in my eyes. God, it was all my fault.
"Maya?" I asked after she had flushed the toilet. She turned her face at me. I could see her peaky skin and the worry only grew. "What is it? What happened?"
She said nothing. Not even a mere sound she let out, halting my worry. Instead, she slowly got up, raising herself back on both feet. I stared intensively, as she washed her face in the cold stream of water in the sink.
"Shit, Maya, what is it?" I repeated my unanswered question. "talk to me, please." I begged.
"I don't know okay?" She finally responded. "I have no idea what it is." Her voice cracked as she spoke these words.
"That's not normal, you should get it checked." I hurried with another expression. Concern was burning my insides.
"If you care so much then why won't you stop taking all your anger on me! It's not fucking helping!" She raised her voice once more. Her eyes remained just as glassy as before.
"I'm sorry." I breathed with a wasted voice. "I swear to you, I did not mean any of that. Listen, love, I didn't mean it, yeah?" I begged for her understanding.
If you ever considered me an emotionless person - you have been fooled by a mirage.
I cared for a few things in life, I cared dearly.
And right now, all my care and attention was on Mays and the poor look on her face.
My heart ached completely.
"I'm so sorry for yelling and..." I pursued apologising. "I thank my skies day and night for letting me keep you. I thank that I am with you and you are with me. Without you, what would be left of me?"
A tear wished greatly to escape my eye. Then another. I felt the weakness I owned awakening. The shell of my being wasn't tough enough to camouflage my poignance.
She hugged me.
Her hands wrapped around my back. The warmth of her body assured me that we were going to be okay.
"I love you, only you this way." She spoke to my ear, her voice was almost mute. Her hands lifted to my arms as she pressed me onto herself. "You need to trust me with this,"
"I trust you," My muscles eventually rested as now I could sense the rose fragrance of her hair, which I adored, and she, I bet, could feel my heartbeat as she remained pressed to my chest.
I took a deep breath.
Blame's heaviness faded a little away from my tired shoulders.
"I will make sure someone checks if you're okay" I murmured, after softly kissing her hair.
"It's probably food poisoning," she whispered beneath me. "George gave me Molly's cupcakes, they tasted weird..."
It wasn't the first time that Gryffindor would put extra ingredients into the food he shares as some sort of his "prank".
"I'll kill him," I said under my breath fastly, my tone surprisingly pungent. Perhaps I was not sure yet whether I meant my sentence.
"Stop it, he wouldn't put anything with actual venom there, I guess." She smiled while releasing her words. Her head pulled away slightly, yet our bodies remained entwined. My hands tightened the grasp around her waist.
"Ask him, or I'll handle it. You're too pale to it not to be dangerous." I demanded while cupping her face. Tenderly, I caressed her cheeks as our foreheads rested on each other.
Soon though, she pulled away anew.
"I have to go, I'm late for the meeting with Mione..." she whispered as I observed her thick lashes fastly hide her eyes, then uncover them a millisecond later.
"Do you have to? I've got a few ideas of how we could spend the evening together," I tried convincing her to stay, but I knew it was pointless anyway. At least, not when it came to hanging out with Hermione. This girl has stolen so much time from me and my Flower.
"I do, she said it's important," Maya's words disappointed me, matching perfectly to my expectations.
Mayas POV
"So how are you huh? Anything new I might want to hear about?" Hermione exclaimed with delirium the moment we pulled away from our hug.
We could be such gossip from time to time...
"Okay so... Pansy is still in love with Blaise!" I whispered loudly. "Yesterday I heard her talking with Astoria about the colour of his eyes. The girl is so obsessed with him."
Like every other human, we had people we did not like. And as it was all reasonable, we never really felt bad about having good laugh at them sometimes.
"Oh, that's absurd! It's been so long and he has rejected her in every and most way!" Hermione burst with laughter.
We were sitting on her soft mattress that had a million pillows on top and each one had its own specific place. Everything had its stand in Hermione's room.
"I'm spending the next weekend at Ron's, we're going to have a baking day and all. Truly, I hope it helps me bond with his mother."
"Oh Mione, Molly Weasley adores you. I bet you're her favourite daughter-in-law." I said with full assurance. Granger was a perfect girl, how could anybody hate her?
"Stop it.." she laughed. "It's not like we're married!" She blushed hardly.
"Not yet, but I could bet there is no other ending to that story." I chuckled, amused at how red her face has turned.
"Okay, like you and Malfoy!" She continued giggling. Only I stopped. My lips pursed at once.
She said such a sentence so carelessly. And just like that, I paled. In a split second, I imagined the altar, everyone gathered around, me in a pretty white dress — and him — my boy, my blond.
I felt shivers embrace my skin. It felt as if my imagination was painting a pure abstraction.
A husband and wife, could we ever be pronounced?
For the first time, such a notion was born in my head.
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked, supposedly noticing how I was being consumed by severe hypnosis.
"It's different with me and Draco... Very different," I spoke my words slowly.
"Well, of course, it is." She said with a serious tone. As we were lying down, my head turned to face her. She noticed my movement and matched my action. "But that does not mean it's any worse. You love each other after all, don't you?" She asked, looking me straight in the eyes, seeking honesty.
"Yes, yes I love him. I love him with my whole heart." I responded hurriedly.
"That's sweet." She smiled. "Then how come you doubt your future?"
"Well, what about... Harry?" I hand my eyes on the ceiling, wondering what the future holds.
"What about him really?" Hermione sounded to be filled with confusion.
"Would he just stand and watch? Would that not... upset him?" My eyes ran back to hers. There was doubt in my tone.
"You need to put yourself first honey, always." She said. "Besides, I'm sure Harry would be fine. He seems to be now. He has Romi, she appears to be making him quite a happy man."
Romi?
"But could I bear it for much longer to live in the world where my lover and my best friend hate one another?" I asked, one more time shifting with my thoughts far away.
"Do not worry sweetheart, they will one day get along" Hermione smirked. "I can already see Harry as Draco's best mate on your wedding day!"
Harry James Potter as Draco Lucius Malfoy's best mate.
In which world does this stand a chance?...
I couldn't help but smile at that vision, though it seemed like I was breaking the law by even having such.
"That would be... lovely," I whispered almost with a muted tone.
Such a dream, a beautiful little reverie.
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊ 2.7k ❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
Hi, long time no talk!
I have missed you a lot.
I wish to thank you for the increasing interest in this book I have noticed in the past days. I don't know what attracts you to this book most but I'm glad some of you decided to give it a read!
I hope your time here is well spent ;)
I would love to hear all your thoughts about the book, the storyline and everything in general. Your opinion truly matters to me.
Kisses,
Maya V Flower.