this one's a looooong one (: thanks for waiting & I hope you enjoy! It's a crazy one
Norah
January 10, 2016
The days following the paparazzi ordeal were a contained chaos to describe it most accurately.
The haunting Kendall Jenner comment made by one of the paps that night had drifted into my head a couple of times, but I trusted Harry. If there was any substance to that question, he would have brought it up. It was high time I didn't question everything the media brought up.
Hell, they'd done just as Harry predicted with the footage of the pap grinding up against me outside Winter's car—clipped the video so it only showed me yelling at the guy. Even better, they'd censored what I said so it was impossible to tell I'd shouted at him to never touch me again. Instead, it looked like I went on an explicit tangent.
Harry's team was quick to release a comment on what actually occurred to which some fans offered their support on social media, outright surprising me after days of nasty comments galore. Then, of course, others took the opportunity of seeing a video of me for the first time and just berated me further.
Regardless, I didn't question Harry's loyalty because I knew all too well how words—and, evidently, videos—could be misconstrued and I wasn't going to join the masses and do the same.
With Harry having a management team of his own now that he was pursuing solo projects,—ahh!—his days were filled with meetings, while I spent mine either working or convincing my boss at my internship, Kyren Jeffries, to take me on as an assistant after his went on maternity leave for a few months. The job would pay well and would essentially merge my tasks as an intern with a few other responsibilities.
Then, with one phone call, Kyren acknowledged my fervor and relented.
"Babe!"
"Did you get it?" Harry set down the dish he was washing and wiped his hands on a towel hanging from the stove. He turned and the bright, hopeful look on his face made the news all the more sweet to tell—having someone who cared so much.
"Yes!"
I ran into his open arms at the end of the island. His hand rested against the back of my head while his arm banded around my waist. His lips brushed against my hair. "I knew you would. I'm so proud of you."
"It's not like I gave Kyren much of a choice," I laughed.
"You knew what you wanted and didn't take no for an answer. All the more I love about you."
I pulled enough away to see his face, but relaxed against his chest. "What else do you love about me?"
He kissed my cheek. "You don't mind that I only know how to cook one proper meal for dinner, and you enjoy it every time like you've never had it before."
I wasn't surprised that we weren't dancing around the L-word like we used to. Sure, we hadn't said those three words to each other yet, but we started to incorporate it into our dialogue.
I tiled my head up to kiss his chin. "Because it's pretty damned good."
And it truly was. The vegetarian pasta dish with a side of Brussels sprouts was delicious and easy for Harry to whip up. But I was pretty certain I'd never say no to anything he offered me.
He brushed a thumb over my lips. "Let's celebrate."
"It's just a second job. Not anything crazy." I shrugged. "You being so happy for me is celebration enough."
"Well, when I come back from London, I'm taking you somewhere nice."
I took a step back and hooked my fingers with his. "London? Already?"
He'd mentioned not long after he got back from Anguilla that he had a trip planned to meet with some PR company in New York. They were also based out of Los Angeles, but their main headquarters was in New York, and they'd apparently booked a fancy dinner for the meeting so clearly it was a really big deal. After that, he had to go straight to London to have his first studio session with some producers and friends of his. It was all very exciting, but I just hadn't realized the time had come so soon already.
"Yeah, I leave tomorrow night and come back the 17th."
A day before my birthday. At least he'd be back in time so I'd be able to celebrate with him.
He squeezed my hand. "I know it came fast, but this time it's less than a week, and once I'm back, I'll be in LA for a while to write and record."
"For the new album?"
"I'm writing for some others right now." He paused for a beat. "Who said anything about an album, anyways?" His dimples appeared, giving away his attempt at being sly.
He'd mentioned writing for an album at least a dozen times in the past five days. Because it was so secret to the public, he liked to act like he wasn't telling me everything that was going on, but sometimes he just got too excited and I was more than happy to be his confidant at the beginning of his solo career.
"Anyways, when you're gone, I'll be busy working with Kyren, so time will fly. I won't even miss you that much," I teased.
His arm caught around my waist, tugging me forward so that I fell against his chest. I was more than happy to accept any consequences for my comment. And when his hand slipped beneath the waistband of my sweats, I knew the consequences would be all too sweet.
"Oh, you'll miss me, babe. I'll make sure of it."
++
January 15, 2016
After day three on the job with Kyren, I was exhausted.
My feet hurt, I hadn't eaten all day, and I felt a migraine coming on. On top of that, I was late to sign up for my classes for the next semester that started in a week, I had emails to send, calls to make for Kyren, I started my shift at the yogurt shoppe in an hour where I was certain I'd have to hide from One Direction fans like I do nearly every shift, and I missed Harry's calming presence more than anything in the world. With my schedule and him being in London, we were like two ships in the night. I hadn't talked to him since he left New York yesterday morning.
This was getting really hard, and it was high time I admitted it. But if I took a pause to catch my breath, I'd fall behind and that would only make my stress worse. I was forgetting to eat because I didn't have time to remember, and I barely slept at night because my mind wouldn't shut off. I was getting so angry at myself for falling behind and for feeling this way that it'd send me into a panic. At least once or twice a day, I was having anxiety or panic attacks, and I knew it'd be smart to start talking to a professional about it.
Even that made me so frustrated. How I couldn't just handle my emotions myself. How I was allowing myself to get so overwhelmed. But I had no choice. I needed to pay bills and save up to get another car hopefully in the next few months. I could take care of my mental health after I saved up enough to even see a therapist.
After throwing some water on my face to make me look a little bit more lively, I changed into different clothes for work and made myself a peanut butter sandwich to eat while I did some work on my laptop. Winter would be here in less than thirty minutes, so that should be enough time to at least get some emails sent out.
My phone buzzed with an incoming FaceTime from Harry. I had half a mind to ignore it. The call would surely take up the time until Winter got here.
Self care, Norah. Self care.
"Hi, lovely!"
I smiled, hoping it looked genuine, and my exhaustion wasn't making it look fake. "Hey, babe."
"What are you up to?"
"Just waiting for Winter to pick me up for work. How's London?"
"The same as it always is," he said. "My mates all want to meet you. Apparently I've been talking about you too much."
One of them started shouting in the background. Harry must've hid himself away in another room to talk.
My face twisted. "Me?" I couldn't imagine there'd be more than a couple of sentences to say about me.
"Yeah, you." A puzzled look crossed his face right before another loud shout sounded from behind him. He leaned out of frame to yell, "Aye! Quit bothering me!"
He was rewarded with a gaggle of laughter and just rolled his eyes with a soft chuckle. "Anyways...you doing okay?" His voice lifted with concern.
"Oh, yeah. Just really busy. Tired."
"Have you eaten? I know how you forget when you're stressed."
It was endearing that he remembered. I held up my plate with the peanut butter sandwich in front of the camera so he could see that I was, in fact, intending on eating.
"Good girl. Well I'm sorry you're so busy. Why don't you call in today?"
"I can't, Harry."
"I hate that you're working yourself to the bone, baby."
Me too.
"You're coming home in two days though," I changed the topic with a hopeful smile. "I can't wait."
His frown deepened and he looked down, running a hand through his long hair. "I'm staying a couple more days here actually."
My heart clenched in disappointment. "Oh."
"Yeah, I'm sorry, babe. There are a couple of producers who want to talk about some business decisions they want to include me in, but they aren't available until the day after I'm supposed to fly home."
"That's fine. Uh, I'll just tell Winter. She'll be sad you can't make it to whatever she's been so secretive about."
Yeah, pass it off to Winter, rather than actually admitting that you're disappointed that your boyfriend not only forgot your birthday, but was going to miss it all together. Remember, it's not even a big deal. You hate birthdays. You hate the high expectations for that single day to be perfect anyways. You can celebrate anytime you want.
Lines creased between his brows. "Winter? What secret?"
"She had something she wanted to do for my birthday."
I watched sheer panic cross Harry's face and his lips parted. "Wait, your birthday's the 28th, isn't it?"
"It's the 18th."
Harry's back hit the wall and he guided himself to a seated position onto the floor and covered his face with his free hand. "Fucking hell," he hissed out.
A guilty feeling consumed me, and I scrambled to soothe the situation. "Hon, it's okay. We can do something another time. Birthdays aren't a big deal to me."
"Norah, I swear to you, I thought it was the 28th." He shook his head and pressed his forehead against his fist, then said to himself, "But that wouldn't make any sense because you said you were a Capricorn. Shit."
"Babe," I tried to call his attention back to me. "Don't beat yourself up. We've only talked about birthdays like once."
"I'll be there, love. I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"No," I rejected. "Do what you need to do."
"I need to be with you." He said it without hesitation, which made my heart swell, but I was nervous that this decision would impact whatever business he had with these producers.
"How about you ask the producers if you can meet with them over Skype or something before you make any decisions, okay?"
"It'll be fine. It's not nearly as important."
I gnawed on my lower lip as I stared at the screen. I worried he was making the wrong choice.
"I'm sorry. It was really shitty that I didn't remember."
"That's not your fault," I calmed, then narrowed my gaze. "Next year, however..."
He threw his head back and laughed a full-bellied laugh. A chuckle even broke through my own brain fog.
"January 18th, January 18th, January 18th..."
A knock at my door interrupted Harry's recitation of my date of birth. Winter was here.
"Winter's at the door."
"I'll let you go, then. I miss you, love."
"I miss you more. Tell your friends I said hi."
"Oh, they'll go crazy over that. They're big fans."
I shut my laptop and pushed it aside, standing up to get the door with my phone in hand. "Wait, I'm sure Winter is gonna want to say hi, too. Give me a sec."
"M'kay."
The very first thing Winter said when I swung open the door was, "Wow, you look beat."
"Beat?!" Harry screeched through the phone.
"She means tired," I corrected in plain terms, then directed the phone my best friend's way.
"Hi, Harry!"
"Hi, Winter. You alright?"
"I'm good, thanks. I hope to see you soon, so we can party." She sent a wink my way.
"Definitely. You ladies get to work safe. Norah, call me after you get home?"
"I will."
"Bye, love."
"Bye."
"You ready?" Winter asked once I hung up.
"Yup, let me get my keys."
I turned back inside to grab a couple things, then locked up and walked with Winter out to the car.
"You do look pretty tired, Norah."
"Sorry I didn't put on enough concealer," I countered.
"No," she scoffed. "Like you look like you just had a mental breakdown kinda tired. Did you work this morning?"
"Yeah."
She hummed noncommittally.
++
January 18, 2016
I was 22.
What an anticlimactic age. Although, it definitely solidified the "I'm in my 20's" feel.
It was a Monday, so I worked with Kyren for 6 hours. Cece had purposely left me off the schedule so after that, I was free for the rest of the day.
Winter had something up her sleeve that she still wasn't telling me. Even as she stood in my bedroom, shuffling through my closet, looking for an outfit she wanted me to wear.
"The green dress looked cute," I said.
The screeching sound of moving hangers persisted. "Yeah, but I have a vision."
Well, I tried.
I unlocked my phone and went to my messages to reread Harry's texts from yesterday afternoon and early this morning .
4:00PM
Happy birthday, love. It's January 18th here. I'll text you when it's midnight in LA, too, don't worry (;
>Thank you, babe. That just made me smile so hard (: Sorry I can't pick up your call. I'm still at work. I'll see you soon though!!!
12:00AM
Happy birthday!!!! It's midnight in LA now. I wish I was with you. My love, you've made my world so much brighter, and I can't wait to see you later. I'm heading to the airport now. Miss youuuu. xx
Looking down at my phone, I could feel a smile stretch across my cheeks. I fought tooth and nail to get this guy to just stay in London for his meeting and get a flight back home for another day. He didn't have to be here for my birthday. But he didn't listen and it was hard for me to get mad at that.
I went onto Instagram, bypassing the tens of thousands of follower requests, and instead, clicked on a photo I was tagged in.
harrystyles Oh, what I'd give to have this view. Happy birthday @nlgates. My only angel.
That would explain the follower requests.
Shocked, I showed the post to Win. "Look what Harry just posted."
She took my phone from my hands and held it close to her face. "Shut the fuck up. I'm going to cry."
Some might think a birthday post on social media was superficial and only for likes, but I was well aware this meant something more. I hadn't even known that picture of me existed. Based on the view out the window, it was taken back when I tagged along on tour for a week at the hotel near O2 Arena. The photo had been for Harry's "portfolio", inspired by my own for a class assignment.
I eventually looked away from the photo when Winter figured out what she wanted me to wear tonight. Since I had no idea where we were going or what we were doing, it left the power in her hands. She decided on white pants, a white turtleneck, and a coral pink blazer to go overtop. While I changed, she found some gold hoops and the one gold necklace I had.
I wasn't really a pink person, but hell, maybe I was now.
"Cute!" Winter exclaimed. "I'll touch up some of the waves in your hair, and then we need to go."
"Go where?"
Winter opened her mouth to answer, then hesitated. I almost got her.
"Nice try. Jared made sure to leave a blindfold in the car. You'll have to wear it until we get there."
"Why do y'all just have a blindfold lying around?"
"Don't worry. I washed it."
I made a gagging noise. Best not to think about why she would need to wash the thing that was going to be covering my eyes for an undisclosed amount of time.
In the car, my fingers fiddled with the hem of my blazer nervously. I didn't know what to expect of this birthday surprise and Winter's driving skills at night were ones to be left to the imagination.
I knew one of my surprises was going to be Harry. Technically, it wasn't much of a surprise since he told me he was boarding a flight and coming back to LA, but I hadn't seen him yet, so I was counting it as one. Just seeing him would be enough—would make my day 100% perfect.
"Almost there!" Winter chirped over her loud early 2000s playlist.
We slowed and made a bumpy turn into what I guessed was a parking lot. She parked and handed me a phone and started putting something into my ears.
"I'm going to have you listen to some loud music, okay? I'll let you know when to take them out."
"Well then how will I hear you?"
"I'll yank them out of your ears, smartass."
I laughed and helped her put the earbuds in securely. She was gracious enough to warn me before Beyoncé's "Crazy in Love" blasted my eardrums.
I was bumping into people left and right as Winter poorly steered me into a warm building. I could faintly hear loud conversation over the music, but that soon subsided as we started walking up stairs. Several flights of stairs.
We paused and a moment later cold air blasted me in the face. Winter tucked my arm around hers tight and we took a couple more steps before she stopped me and took out the earbuds. I could hear the light crackling of fire and a faint hum of voices coming from somewhere distant. The chorus of a soft pop song floated in from speakers somewhere.
"You can take off the blindfold now."
I slowly lifted the cloth off my head to immediately lay eyes on my best friends standing around a firepit with the LA cityscape behind them. Along with Brandon, Sam, and Jared were two other girls I didn't recognize, but based on where they stood, they must've been the girls Brandon and Sam were seeing, respectively. A very poorly harmonized "Happy birthday!" was belted by all of them, and I threw my hands over my face, afraid I'd start crying. Just knowing my friends went out of their way to surprise me with something special filled my heart to the brim. Winter hugged me to her side.
I shook my head. "This is too nice." Winter squeezed my shoulder and guided us over to greet them all.
It was a rooftop lounge that they must've rented out, seeing as we were the only ones up here. All along the ledge were string lights and potted plants, giving off a very picturesque, contemporary vibe. A couple of bartenders stood behind the bar to our left.
I hugged everyone tight - even the girls I hadn't yet met before who introduced themselves as Athina and Iris. Athina stood very close to Sam, who happened to have a content smile on his face, and Iris had her arm tucked through Brandon's. Nothing made me happier than seeing all of my friends happy. I was only missing—
"Ya call this a party?!" a familiar voice called out from behind.
That sounded an awful lot like...
Holy Horan.
Niall fucking Horan.
I pivoted to see Niall standing beside my boyfriend, both of which had suddenly appeared behind the bar—where they must've been hiding behind—with gigantic grins on their faces. My jaw was unhinged.
I stole a glance to Winter who was just as surprised as I expected her to be, seeing as 2/5 members of her favorite band were standing mere yards away.
"What the fuck?"
"Happy birthday, Miss Norah!" Niall—Niall was now wrapping me up in a hug that I was barely conscious enough to accept.
Yes, I'd met him before—played ping pong with him before—but this I was not expecting. It'd been so long.
Harry tapped Niall on the shoulder. "Oi mate, let go of my girl so I can give her a proper greeting, yeah?"
Niall stepped away with a cackle and I shot Harry a wide-eyed look that I was sure expressed the absolute astonishment I felt.
He pulled me in and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. With my hands against his chest, I reveled in the feel even though it was short lasting.
"Happy birthday, pretty girl."
I swiped my thumb over his lips to take of the stray gloss that transferred onto them. "Thank you. This is crazy. What the fuck."
I turned to look at the shell-shocked friends of mine as Niall went around giving them hugs. Jared, Brandon, and Sam were trying their best to conceal starstruck looks, but it was still plain to see. Athina and Iris looked as nervous as ever and Winter was frozen in her spot even after a hug from Niall. Knowing they all came here for me was just about enough to—
"Babe? I hope those are happy tears." Harry's ring-clad hands cradled my cheeks, wiping the wet trails away.
"This is too much," I mustered out.
"Not nearly enough, in my opinion. But I made up for it in your gift."
"Harry." I swear if my birthday gift was anywhere near as much as my Christmas gift, I was going to be pissed.
"Would you please just let me adore you enough to treat you to really nice things?"
"I've told you, I don't need nice things, I just need you. Really nice things make me uncomfortable."
He pecked me on the lips again. Something I was anticipating as his eyes kept flickering down to them as I spoke.
"Are you uncomfortable right now?"
"...No."
He smirked. "Then shut up and let's go grab our friends a round of tequila, yeah?" He took a couple steps back in the direction of the bar, pulling me along with him.
"Did you just tell me to shut up? On my birthday?" I quipped.
He smiled so brightly it took my breath away. A light tug forced me to take the remaining steps between us, and he gripped my waist. "I meant it kindly, of course."
"Of course," I echoed.
We stood together at the bar with my back against Harry and his arms hooked lightly around my neck so I could rest my hands on his forearms as we watched the bartender, Ted, pour out 9 shots of tequila. We each took a small tray over to the fire-pit where a lively conversation had already started up.
"Well, o'course I appreciate a good lager, but a Guinness is just classic," Niall chimed out.
"Really? I haven't tried one before. Lagers are a classic for me. I don't know if I could ever convert," Jared said with a shrug.
"I betch'ya can."
"Shots!" Harry announced.
Everyone collected their own glass and waited until the group was ready before Winter gave a short toast. "I'll get sappier as the night goes on, but I'll just start off the night by wishing my best friend a happy birthday, and I wish you endless opportunities and success this year. 22 is gonna be the one."
Cheers to that.
"Love you, Win." We all threw back the shots.
"Agh!" Harry nearly choked at the taste. "Babe, you took that like a champ."
We eased into the night with another round of shots and then gathered around the fire, swapping stories, jokes, and enjoying each other's company. As soon as Niall found out that the music was coming from an iPod connected by an auxiliary cord, he took it upon himself to turn the party up a notch. The Backstreet Boys' 'I Want It That Way' sounded through the speakers to everyone's delight. There were plenty of yummy appetizers, bouts of dance-offs between the boys, some karaoke hogging after Harry begged the bartenders to find him a microphone, and a couple more drinks in between to give me a comfortable buzz.
"What time is it?" Harry bellowed out, startling me in his lap. He kissed the back of my neck, and murmured, "Sorry, love."
Niall answered. "Just about 11 o'clock. 2 minutes to go."
"Oh! Is it time?" Winter perked up. Her cheeks were red. The telltale sign she was drunk.
"Time for what?" I asked, but my question fell on deaf ears as Harry patted the side of my thigh as a wordless request for me to stand,
"Come on, mates," he called on everyone else and grabbed my hand, leading us over to the metal railing that acted as a barrier around the rooftop. I'd been staring at this view of the LA skyline out in the distance almost all evening. Everyone did as Harry requested and gathered around, looking out into the night.
Harry looped an arm around my waist, hugging me to his front, and rested his cheek against the side of my head. I snuck a glance at Winter and she shot me a wink, leaving me to wonder if this was more than just a whimsical request by Harry to sightsee.
A bright light shot into the sky quite a distance away, but it was enough to evoke a gasp from me. Harry settled me with gentle kisses to the side of my head. Right when I was about to ask if I actually saw what I thought I saw or if I was just more drunk than I realized, the light expanded in the sky, followed by a loud boom.
Fireworks.
How in the hell did anyone get fireworks in LA County?
The darkness was quickly interrupted by a quick sequence of beautiful blooms of light with popping noises following. My recently overactive tear ducts didn't miss the opportunity to express how they felt about this surprise.
"How did you do this?" I whispered to Harry in awe, while wiping away the pesky drops.
"We're in one of the few cities in Los Angeles County that allows fireworks with a permit. It took pulling some strings, but..." He trailed off. By 'pulling some strings', I knew he meant money.
"I don't know what to say."
The fireworks went off in rapid succession, signaling an end to the short show. The most beautiful surprise I'd ever received in my life. The night sky was erupting in color for miles and miles to see, and it was all for me. From Harry.
Harry lips ghosted over my ear. "I love you."
I inhaled sharply and turned in his arms. I needed to make sure I heard him correctly. "What?"
A beautiful smile adorned his face. "I..."
Of course he was teasing me. Now, when I was on the verge of returning those intimate three words to him. I was waiting on the edge of my seat and that fucker knew it. I needed to be sure I wasn't the only one feeling this way.
I was frantic. I cupped his face with my hands. "Harry, you beautiful man, if you don't repeat what you just said—"
His mouth cut off my words with a kiss so enveloping, so full of everything that couldn't be put into words that it was confirmation enough. His hands framed my face. The fireworks in the sky had ceased and were replaced with the aurora of images and colors in my mind that represented my feelings for Harry.
He pulled away, and when he did, it was only enough to look into my eyes. "I love you."
"You're not drunk, are you?"
"Darling, I could've told you I loved you weeks ago."
"Why didn't you?"
"Are you going to argue with me about when I should've told you I loved you?"
"Yes, if it gets you to keep saying it over and over again."
He threw back his head with laughter, the sound contagious and making my own laughter bubble up.
"How about I tell you whenever you want me to—rather than arguing," he wagered. "Deal?"
I admired that he didn't appear to be waiting for me to say the words back, but I figured I should put him out of his misery anyways.
I pulled him down enough to place a kiss against his lips then moved mine over to his ear.
"I love you, too."
He released a breath.
Maybe he had been waiting for me to say the words back after all.
...
I'm so tired!!! But I love you alllllll....
It only goes up from here for Harry&Norah, right? (:
Stay safe!! <3